Page 15

I sat up suddenly, my temples throbbing. In a moment of blind panic, I frantically threw the fur blanket off of me, looking around the unfamiliar room.

It took a heartbeat, but the memories from the day before eventually came crashing down like a bucket of cold water being poured over my head.

I gasped, then snapped my head toward Robyn, who was fast asleep on the couch looking fairly uncomfortable, his long legs hanging over the edge and the blanket not fully covering him.

I assumed from the way the room was just barely beginning to light up that dawn wasn’t too far off. Looking toward the balcony only confirmed my thoughts. But why was I up at this time?

A wave of nausea overcame me, and for a moment I simply sat there, in the middle of my now husband’s bed, my head in my hands.

When the next wave hit, I scrambled out of bed, heading for the door that led to the hallway.

I made sure to keep my steps light, like I always did when sneaking around Gatlyn Castle, so as not to wake up Robyn.

I knew his quarters housed its own washroom, but since I wasn’t sure what was overcoming me, I wanted to be alone.

I didn’t want him waking up and trying to fret over me, or berate me—whatever it was that the Southern King would do .

I softly clicked the door shut behind me and walked to the neighboring room, the space Teagan had originally assigned me to. Funny, how I was so close to my future husband when I arrived and didn’t know it. More funny still that I had met him before knowing who he was.

Funny? More like aggravating, I corrected myself.

Shutting the door firmly behind me, I grabbed the chair from the vanity and slid it in place under the door handle so it wouldn’t open unless I moved it. I didn’t want any visitors, but I also didn’t have time to set a trap like I had in the past.

Before I could even be proud of myself, my stomach suddenly did a flip, and I slapped a hand over my mouth, then made a run for the washroom.

I fell to the floor in front of the chamber pot, barely making it in time to dry heave over the side. A few more of those, then the bile of my stomach burned its way up my throat.

I sat there for what felt like hours, retching over and over, but still trying to be as quiet as possible; I wasn’t sure who was nearby, who could be listening.

Only bile ever came up from my stomach, and suddenly I realized I couldn’t place the last time I had eaten.

Robyn had brought me a plate last night at the party, but I had started to feel even worse than before and had asked to leave.

And before the wedding, I thought the food had been making me sick, so I’d been eating less and less of it.

After another moment, I sat with my back against the wall, my stomach calm again for the time being. I put a hand to the cold stone floor and let it ground me.

I took this time to reflect on yesterday. I didn’t know what overcame me, but being that close to Robyn cannot happen again. And what was I thinking, to even be considering putting my trust in him?

I let out a groan, frustrated with myself.

My head was still pounding, and a layer of sweat coated my skin—even though I felt as cold as the ice I wield.

When a few heartbeats had passed, I hauled myself to my feet, placing my hands on the rim of the sink and finally allowing myself to look in the mirror.

Then, I screamed.

The scream ripped itself from my throat like the bile I had just expelled. Nothing I did could have stopped it.

Looking in the mirror, I had made eye contact with my reflection, but something wasn’t right.

My eyes. They were… wrong.

Well, one of them was, anyways.

I blinked rapidly, thinking this was some kind of trick, but my reflection didn’t falter.

My right eye, which for my entire life had been as blue as the water in Cynth Bay, and more importantly matched my left , now shone as green as fresh moss on the side of a tree.

My breathing started coming faster, and I wrapped my wings around myself, beginning to panic.

Think. Think. Think.

In the distance, I heard the door to the room being knocked on, the handle being rattled. The chair must have held firm, though, because nobody came to stop me as I walked out of the washroom, scanning the chambers.

Aurora had warned me about the elixirs. I never knew exactly what was in them.

I only knew they helped balance me after the accident when I was but a small girl.

Father always said they helped, that they were good for me.

But then why did Aurora say the exact opposite?

Why did I listen to her, if at least part of me didn’t believe her?

Hadn’t I always believed something wasn’t right?

Retracing my actions, I realized one of the last things I had ingested was one of my elixirs. That was also when I realized I hadn’t eaten a complete meal in what was likely days.

I had abruptly stopped taking my elixirs a couple days ago, when I left the North. Since then, I’d felt sick most of the time, in one way or another. Are these the side effects from not taking them?

Or were the elixirs blocking parts of me even I didn’t know about?

My ears were ringing so loud, I could barely hear Robyn on the other side of the door, begging and bargaining to be let in as I searched the room. Things had been moved since I had last been in here, but I knew I hadn’t seen it in Robyn’s room.

Sliding to my knees, I lifted up the blanket that hung off the side of the bed and peered underneath.

There you are.

Reaching out, I grabbed the box and tugged until it sat in front of me. Opening the lid, I scanned the contents.

Inside sat more vials of elixirs than I could count in the moment.

I stood, picking the box of elixirs up and walking back to the washroom with determination set in my bones, even though my hands shook. Sweat still gleamed against my forehead, and my head still throbbed. But hiding under all of that was something else.

Something new.

Something… powerful .

I took one final look in the mirror, as if to reassure myself once again that I wasn’t seeing things, then used all the strength in my body to hurl the box and all of its contents at the mirror.

The sound of glass and bottles shattering snapped me back to the present moment, and tears sprouted to my eyes instantly as I watched the remains fall, chest heaving.

In a moment where it felt like time slowed, I caught my own reflection one last time before all the shards fell to the ground.

I looked… hollow. My skin was even more icy than usual, and dark bags hung under my eyes. My hair was horribly unkempt, and my cheeks appeared sunken in ever so slightly. Even the color of my white hair, which usually shone in the moonlight, looked dull.

I watched as every piece fell and broke, listening to the chaos. The sound had drawn me back to reality, and once all the pieces settled into a heap on the washroom floor, I finally heard Robyn’s warning.

“Stand clear of the door!” he yelled, and the second I looked up at the door, it burst into flames.

The doorframe didn’t catch fire, but the wood of the door quickly crumbled, until Robyn seemed to get impatient and threw himself through the remains of it, embers sticking to his clothes.

He snapped, and they were put out, then our eyes locked.

I wanted to hide from his gaze, but it was like the pull of a magnet, and I couldn’t look away.

His eyes widened with the realization of what had changed as our eyes met, and once again I felt like I could feel the swirl of his emotions in my chest. Fear, panic, confusion. I wondered for a moment if he could feel mine, too.

Suddenly, I didn’t have it in me to fight anymore.

I was frustrated, and sick, and so, so tired.

A sob clawed its way up my throat—a broken, strangled sob, which led to another, until I was sinking to the floor, chest heaving with cries.

Robyn was there in an instant, catching me before I hit the floor.

I didn’t have the strength to push him away, even though I knew I should have. He was supposed to be the enemy. But if that were true, then why didn’t he feel like it anymore?

I folded myself into his chest, clutching onto his shirt like my life depended on it. He murmured sweet, calm nothings as I wrapped my wings around the both of us instinctually—my safe place.

He was the only thing grounding me as my chest wracked with sobs, so much so that it felt like my heart was going to split down the middle. In an attempt to calm myself, I shifted closer and leaned my ear against his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

Seeming to understand what I was doing, he began stroking my hair and, to my surprise, humming.

It was a sweet melody, almost sad in a way, but beautiful.

His husky voice carried it well as he continued to hum the tune and run his hand through my tangled hair until the sobs slowly ceased, and just a few tears were rolling down my face instead of gushing like a broken dam.

After I caught my breath, I slowly retracted my wings, tucking them in against my back. I couldn’t meet his eyes as I said quietly, “I’m sorry.”

I could practically feel his shock as he said, “Why are you sorry?”

“You were likely promised a noble, mature, strong queen to help you rule, and I’ve only been rude, accusatory, and a total mess since I got here,” I answered honestly, throat raw.

Realizing we were still holding each other, embarrassment flooded me and I quickly shoved at his chest, standing up swiftly but then swaying slightly. I leaned against the washroom doorframe and closed my eyes as lightheadedness overcame me.

“Aviva, look,” he said, wonder lighting up his voice.

I peeled my eyes open reluctantly and followed his hand to where he was pointing.