Page 18

His eyes tracked the movement, and a flash of pain crossed his face for less than a heartbeat before it was gone again.

If he was Northern, why was he not trying to hide it at all?

Laurence, ever the kind male he was, smiled at me, and there was something almost like pity hidden within it.

“Let us sit, Your Majesty,” he said softly.

Suddenly feeling on edge, I hesitated, but slowly returned to the chair behind me while Laurence turned to pull the curtain that blocked the entrance to the area we were in closed, so we’d have complete privacy.

It wasn’t until that moment as he pulled the curtains closed that I noticed the two large bumps on his back, right at the base of his shoulder blades.

Right where my own wings sprouted from my back.

I gasped at the sight, realizing his thick cloak had hidden more than just his eye color.

Laurence turned back to me, seeing my expression, and a troubled look flashed across his features. He moved across the space and sunk into the couch across from me.

“What happened to you? How are you here?” I asked him quietly.

“If King Robyn hasn’t told you yet, I’m not sure it’s my place… but you were my princess before you were the South’s queen, and that alone means I have a duty to tell you the truth,” he said, taking a deep breath. I noticed his hands had begun to shake ever so slightly.

“The truth? What are you talking about? Why won’t anybody just tell me what’s really going on?” I questioned, suddenly feeling very small.

“Well, let’s start at the beginning. Your observations are correct—I am originally from the North, just like you. While our circumstances of arrival differ, we are the same in that way.

“Many years ago, I joined the Northern army to serve my kingdom. I truly thought I was doing the right thing. I had been born and raised in a family of soldiers, and I wanted to make my parents proud. I worked hard as a young male, using my zirilium of air, water, and ice to serve King Horace to the best of my abilities. I spent years as a lieutenant, and had been freshly appointed to captain at this time. There was a battle five years ago, my last one ever—though there've been so many since then, it doesn’t hold a light to the entirety of the war. My family was proud, but the higher into the ranks I climbed, the more horrendous things I saw, all from the North’s hands.

The cruelty, the war crimes, how some of the soldiers treated the female Southern trokavs they captured…

it was all too much. I didn’t realize what was going on behind the scenes until it was too late.

At the time of my last battle, I had already said my oath to King Horace personally when I had been appointed as a captain in his army.

So when it all became too much, and I defected, it didn’t take long for me to be caught.

I ha d no idea where I was going to go, all I knew was that I couldn’t take it all anymore.

Just because the Southerners were our enemy, didn’t mean they weren’t worth being treated without an ounce of respect.

” I watched as Laurence took a steading breath, then carried on, calm once again, though his eyes shone with sadness.

“Apologies, Your Majesty, it still makes my blood boil. Once I was caught, I was brought to the far side of the battlefield, before your father. He laughed, thinking I was a fool for trying to escape him and my duty to his army. But there had been others who had begun to disagree with his thinking, and he had heard those whispers. He decided to use me as an example of what happens to those who went against him, or tried to avoid their duties. Two of his personal guards pushed me to my knees before him, with my back to him. He stood behind me as I listened to him unsheathe his sword. I was convinced my time had come as he pressed the side of it to the left of my neck. He could have had my head in his hand in one fell swoop. Instead, he said death was too easy a punishment for me. What happened next… it still haunts me to this day. I remember screaming until my voice no longer worked like it should. It took four of his guards to hold me still as he used that sword to cut through every bone, tendon, and muscle at the base of my wings.” He choked out the last part, like he could still feel the pain.

Tears sprang to my eyes and my hand covered my gaping mouth as I listened.

Guilt shot through my heart like an arrow.

“After… after it was done, his men dragged me to the outskirts of King Horace’s encampment.

As they were hauling me away, I can still recall watching him throw my wings into the fire in the middle of the camp, further proving his point to any others who were considering defecting.

My wings, such a large part of my identity… reduced to ashes, just like that.

“Once they dropped me at the outskirts, they took turns kicking and spitting on me. None of them expected me to survive—I still don’t know where I drew the strength from.

But once they departed, I clawed my way to the edge of the battlefield, trying to make my way to the green trees.

I knew if I could make it to the edge of the forest, the South could find me.

I imagined they couldn’t be any worse than the North—maybe they’d have the decency to put me out of my misery.

Instead, Sir Chess found me. He was just a boy then, a freshly appointed trokav for the Southern army.

He took one look at me and vowed to help in any and every way he could.

From then on, he personally oversaw my healing.

Once I was brought to The Haven, he checked in on me multiple times a day, using his plant wielding to aid in his potion, elixir, and salve making.

He made things to take the pain away, bandaged me up, and added ointments to my bruises, cuts, and stumps.

It took weeks for me to heal physically, even with his help.

I’ll forever be grateful to him for how kindly he treated me when I needed it most.”

Laurence spoke with such purpose, it was impossible not to be deeply enveloped in his story. His voice shook at times, and his hands began to shake even more violently the longer he spoke.

Reaching across the table between us, I gently placed a hand over his shaking ones, trying to steady him.

“Laurence, I know it likely means nothing, but I am so, so sorry you went through all of that. I’m so sorry for my father’s actions. I… I had no idea,” I said, fumbling for words.

A troubled smile crossed his face before he said, “It isn’t your fault, Your Majesty.

You were just a girl at the time—you couldn’t have done a thing even if you were aware of what your father had been doing.

But if it hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t have been taken in by the South.

King Robyn—he had only been Prince Robyn at this point—gave me a place here, at The Haven, in this very library.

I serve him now through working in the library as a head servant, and he gives me housing and a place to call home.

Many of the servants that stay here have some type of troubling past—it’s why some refuse to speak.

For me, the quiet of the library helps quiet my mind and its voices.

It’s given me a sense of purpose and helped me to heal. ”

I offered him a small, sad smile in response to his own, before a thought crossed my mind.

“Laurence, I’m honored you’ve told me all of this but… why now? Why are you telling me all of this?” I asked in a quiet voice, though I feared I already knew the answer.

“Queen Aviva, you forget—I’ve been where you are.

I was raised with all of the same stories and propaganda that you were.

But all the cruel stories you heard about the South?

The Southerners didn’t do any of those things, the North did.

The Northerners only switch up the narrative to keep their people in line and terrified.

It’s all manipulation, a scare tactic. The South…

they’re good people, Your Majesty. I know you’ve only been here a short time, and you have no reason to trust them.

But if you can’t trust them, trust me, Northerner to Northerner, when I tell you—you’re on the wrong side of things if you’re still envisioning the South as your enemy.

” He spoke in his usual kind voice, but his words struck like a blow to the chest.

I let out a deep breath slowly before speaking.

“So, let me get this straight. You’re pretty much saying everything I’ve ever known…

it was all a lie. I hadn’t even known my father was capable of such horrific acts.

And while I’ve been fighting Robyn tooth and nail thinking he’s the evil one here, in reality, it was my own father? ”

Laurence met my eyes as he said with a steady voice, “That’s exactly what I’m saying, Your Majesty.”

I sucked in a sharp breath, even though I had expected that response from him.

“I’m inclined to believe you, considering how pretty much everything I’ve seen of the Southerners so far has been genuine and of pure intent,” I said, then took a moment to ponder.

“Laurence, since you were raised in the North, can I ask you something?” I asked him.

“Anything, my queen,” he said without hesitation.

“My mother… was she Northern? All the portraits I’d seen of her back home were in black and white, and my memory of her is foggy, to say the least,” I admitted. “Though I don’t remember her having any wings.”

Laurence’s eyes widened slightly, letting me know this wasn’t the question he had been expecting, though he answered anyways.

“There were rumors your mother was of Southern origins, though I have no idea if that was true or not. Your father kept her out of the public’s eye as much as he could, and she was only around a handful of years before she disappeared as mysteriously as she arrived.

I don’t know where she and your father met.

All I know is one day we suddenly had a new queen, and a few years later, we didn’t.

Your father made a public statement, claiming she had passed, but not everybody believed him.

I do remember, though, that everybody who had the honor to meet her, adored her and spoke of how kind-natured she was.

You take after her in that sense, I believe.

” He spoke in a tone that felt very affirming, though I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear about her.

I nodded, taking in this information, while being slightly disappointed at not getting a straight answer.

Another shot of guilt rang through me as I realized I very well might be one of the only people alive who knew the truth about what happened to my mother.

And, accident or not, it was all my fault.

After a moment, I looked back up at the male before me and met his eyes.

“Can I trust you?” I asked, seemingly out of nowhere.

Laurence nodded firmly once and said, “Always, Your Majesty.”

“I need to find out more about my mother. I know her maiden name, and if she was from the South, I was hoping you could help me find her genealogical records to confirm. Think you’re up for it?

” I questioned, trying to lighten the heavy mood that hung around us like a storm cloud my father had conjured.

His spine straightened and his face lit up at being given a task. “I knew you had to have been searching for something specific this past week, but it wasn’t my place to question you. I vow to help in any way I can,” he promised.

“Thank you, Laurence,” I said, the corners of my mouth tugging up into a small smile.

He nodded, returning my smile with one of his own.

In a way, he reminded me of the father I’d always wished I’d had.

“Her name was Elore Ashford,” I said, standing up as I spoke, ready to search through the shelves and shelves of books. It wasn’t until I looked back at Laurence that I saw just how his face had blanched.

“Did you say Ashford, Your Majesty?” he asked slowly.

My eyes narrowed as I turned back to him and said, “Yes, I did.”

Carefully, he spoke with the softness of a griffin feather, as if he was trying not to frighten me as he said, “That’s the name of one of the highest ranking noble families in the entire South.”