Page 43 of Wanting Daisy Dead

Maddie

The Killer Question dénouement dinner feels very grand, and everyone’s chattering away.

‘Have we forgiven Alex for not telling us the truth about his involvement with the podcast?’ Lauren says quietly. She must still be reeling from this morning’s revelation about her stealing Daisy’s book, and is probably looking for a distraction.

‘There’s nothing to forgive Alex for,’ I lie. ‘But I’m sure Georgie was far more useful to his research than I was. She had more insight into the group.’

‘You could say that, but for “insight” read “blame” and I bet she spent a long time bad-mouthing me over the phone to Alex. It explains why I’m getting such a bashing.’

I think any bashing Lauren gets for what she did is justified. ‘I just feel a bit sad because I thought Alex and I had a special bond, like me and Daisy did,’ I say.

We’d kept in touch over the years, but in the months before the invite he definitely called me more.

I’d assumed it was because he liked me, and missed our friendship, so it’s disappointing to find out our more frequent chats were only instigated by him because he wanted information to use in the podcast.

‘I wonder if he really believes one of us did it, or did he just say that for the podcast – and to give Tammy some suspects?’ I say, throwing it out there.

‘Well, they’re married now, so if it was for Tammy, it worked,’ Lauren replies, raising an eyebrow.

Thing is, now I don’t trust him, and as we all sit with our pre-dinner drinks, I watch as he chats with Dan, suddenly both very chummy.

Dan’s showing him something on his phone.

Alex looks horrified, and by his body language it’s obviously inappropriate for the dinner table.

I know they think I’m slow getting jokes, but I deliberately never get Dan’s because they aren’t funny and are often crude.

I can see now the same reaction to Dan in Alex, and I lean over to give him some support.

If this is offensive, I might just tell Dan exactly what I think as it’s the last night.

I don’t care if I upset him – he’s upset everyone else at this table one way or another in the past.

Alex has moved back now and is engaging with Georgie and Lauren, but Dan’s still watching whatever it is on his phone.

Then he suddenly looks up at me and a strange smile forms on his lips, and he gives me a slow, knowing wink.

In that moment, the world around me seems to stop, and I realise what he’s watching.

‘What the fuck, Dan,’ I hiss, and reaching across the table I make a grab for his phone.

Laughing, he lifts it up in the air. ‘Nothing to be ashamed of, Maddie,’ he’s saying in a horrible, creepy voice.

‘Turn it OFF!’ I hear myself whimper, trying not to draw attention to what’s on his phone but desperate to stop it before anyone sees. But the rest of the table is surprised at my raised voice, and now intrigued as to what’s on his phone. ‘Great body, eh, Alex?’

And there I am, lying on my bed, naked except for a G-string, holding my own breasts up to the camera and pretending to have an orgasm.

I get off my chair and run around the table to where he is.

‘Dan, please,’ I beg quietly, leaning so close to him our faces are almost touching.

‘Please, Dan, don’t.’ But he’s just watching me on his phone, mesmerised.

He isn’t hearing me, he never has; I’m insignificant to men like Dan, unless I’m naked and pouting.

Tears spring to my eyes as he finally looks up at me, but even my tears don’t seem to touch him. ‘I’m one of your men,’ he whispers in my ear. ‘I get you to do all kinds of stuff.’

I want to be sick, but more than that I want to take the knife from the table setting in front of him and stab him through the heart.

I have always felt anonymous, and the men who pay me are too.

I don’t want them to know me; I want to be a bunch of moving pixels they send money to while they pleasure themselves.

I am so stupid, but it never occurred to me that any of the men who pay me so much money to strip and fake-orgasm on my own bed might be someone I know.

Might be someone I dislike, someone’s dad, someone’s husband – or my old housemate from university.

How did I ever think I could keep this to myself forever?

‘What’s that, Dan?’ Lauren finally asks on behalf of everyone else who’s now watching us.

‘Please, no ...’ I whisper to him. But still he doesn’t hear me. None of them do. Even Alex is looking the other way as Dan waves his phone in the air and turns up the volume so they can hear me panting, winding a silk scarf around my neck and telling strangers to ‘choke me ’til I come’.

‘What the hell?’ Lauren’s open-mouthed.

‘I remember the first time I saw her on this OnlyFans menu and I thought, that woman looks like Maddie – oh shit, it Is Maddie ,’ Dan says, raising his eyes for a second to address the table.

‘Honestly, I couldn’t believe my luck ..

.’ He turns back to his phone to gaze at me.

He’s licking his lips and smiling, and talking about me like I’m not even in the room.

Lauren’s looking at me incredulously; it’s only a matter of seconds since he brandished the phone but it feels so much longer.

‘Is that the vintage Hermès scarf you’re playing with?’ she asks, seriously.

‘Who’s looking at the scarf?’ Dan’s saying. ‘She’s amazing.’

‘Dan, what the fuck are you ... doing?’ Georgie sees what he’s doing, and looks from the phone to me. As this registers with her she immediately starts screaming at him to turn it off.

‘Fuck you, Georgie. We’re splitting up. I can do anything I like now. I won’t be controlled by you anymore.’

‘Turn it off, Now !’ she’s yelling, and even in my worst moment I’m touched by her support.

‘Fuck off. I’m glad we’re getting a divorce, because you’re a psycho, and by the end of tonight everyone’s going to know what you did.’

Lauren’s just sitting there telling Alex it’s her scarf that I’m now weaving between my breasts in the video, as Alex looks helplessly on.

I can’t bear another moment, and I smash Dan with my fists to grab the phone off him. I can hear my pixelated image groaning and moaning and saying the vilest things as I walk back around the table.

As I sit down in the weight of silence, all that can be heard in that big, echoey dining hall is me making animalistic sounds of pleasure for profit. And the others just sit there quietly with the backdrop of me panting for cash.

I’m trying desperately to turn off his phone while crying with shame and self-loathing. Dan isn’t smiling anymore as, unable to work out how to turn off his state-of-the-art iPhone, I hurl the phone to the ground, then stamp all over it in high heels, like it’s a swarm of cockroaches.

‘Maddie, that’s my new iPhone, I paid two grand for that ...’ He’s moving towards me, but he’s too late. The phone is now chewed up under my stilettoes, powered by my incandescent rage.

‘This is My life, it’s My job. I don’t have wealthy parents, or a private income like you.

That ... that is all I have!’ I yell in his face.

I’ve had drama training, and no one expects the lungs of Lady Macbeth from the little blonde who’s slow on the uptake.

‘At least those faceless men saw me, they watched me. I had some significance, for a few minutes at least. None of you even see me!’ I yell.

No one responds. They say nothing, just stare at me, apparently stunned, and after a few seconds Lauren speaks into the silence.

‘I don’t understand – I thought you taught yoga?’

Dan’s on the floor now picking up the bits of his phone, not listening, not interested in me. ‘You’ve ruined my phone, you sad little ... you ...!’ Then he’s standing up, thrusting the trampled metal right in my face. The look in his eyes is pure hate, and it chills me.

Suddenly, Georgie’s standing next to me. ‘Back the fuck off, Dan. Leave her alone !’

‘Oh, I see, Mrs Angry is here. Hide the wine bottles, she’s on the rampage!’

‘At least I take responsibility for my behaviour,’ she replies, guiding me back to my seat and sitting next to me.

He’s always played the cheeky chappie, the affable guy, the joker. But he isn’t funny. He’s a bully, and he’s spent twenty years winding Georgie into a tight little ball that can’t function with him, and can’t function without him. I feel for her.

‘Don’t talk to me about taking responsibility,’ he snarls at her.

Georgie sits in her seat, her head down, and just as she lifts it, presumably to respond, our phones ping.

And the audio file begins:

‘Hey, Tammy here. Welcome again to the final dinner, and the final recording, where we reveal who we at The Killer Question believe is responsible for the 2005 murder of student Daisy Harrington.

‘But first – earlier we invited you all to make your own voice notes with your theories about who killed Daisy. Yes, we asked you to drop your former university friends in it, but only if you had good reason, and you’ve come up with some good reasons.

No one has held back ... But first the starters. Scallops, chorizo and paprika oil.’

The plates arrive – sweet white scallops with spicy chorizo and a drizzle of bright-orange paprika-hot oil. It’s so delicious I almost forget about the podcast, but then there’s another ping.

‘So, the starters have arrived, and we will now play your voice notes and we’ll be recording your reactions, and any discussions that may arise from the notes.

‘We have only four voice notes, as Maddie declined to offer up a suspect. Her choice – and that’s okay with us, Maddie. So, in no particular order, we’re starting with Lauren.’

‘Okay ... Erm,’ says Lauren’s voice . ‘I really thought at the beginning of the weekend that if it wasn’t David Montgomery it had to be Georgie.

I had no proof or anything, but for me she was the obvious choice – she hated Daisy, she was always jealous because of the Dan connection, and Daisy told me she was scared of her.

Like, really scared ... And witnessing her rage this weekend, I haven’t changed my mind.

So ... yeah. I think Georgie killed Daisy. ’

This accusation must hurt Georgie, but she continues to sit coolly eating her scallops, not flinching, just staring at her plate, while Lauren mumbles, ‘Sorry, no one else came to mind.’

Georgie shrugs. ‘If it’s what you think, then it’s right that you say it for once. You’ve always been two-faced, so good on you for finally being honest. Don’t spoil your new-found courage by apologising,’ she says, then goes back to her food.

God, it’s mortifying.

‘So, our next voice note is Georgie ...’

‘So, I don’t think anyone will be surprised that I think there’s still a chance David Montgomery did it – but as that seems to be unfashionable I’m going with my husband, Dan.

I thought it was Lauren – the book was a great motive, and I’m not saying she didn’t kill Daisy – but I just think it’s more likely that Dan did it.

He thought he had Daisy in the palm of his hand, but she wasn’t weak like me – or in love with him.

The night Daisy died, he told the police he was home with me, and I covered for him – but he wasn’t with me.

What else ... Erm, yeah, her underwear was removed, and the ligatures around her neck have always worried me.

Dan has this fantasy about strangling women.

I’ve never let him do it to me – what does that tell you about the trust in our marriage? So, yeah ... Dan did it.’

‘Bitch,’ Dan mutters under his breath.

‘I’ve been covering up for you for years. Not anymore,’ she mutters back.

‘So, that’s Lauren and Georgie, and now we’re going to play Dan’s voice note.’

‘Okay, it’s er, Dan ... I need to explain that I did follow Daisy down to Exmouth Beach that night.

I wanted to try and speak to her before she got to David.

Earlier, when I’d asked if I could see her, she’d told me to leave her alone, said I was a bit intense and she felt under pressure.

I only wanted to talk to her, but Georgie was home as always and watching me.

So I followed Daisy to Exmouth Beach, hoping I’d get the chance to speak to her before she met David and I lost her to him. ’

‘Lost her to him?’ Georgie laughs. ‘You are such a misogynistic prick, Dan. Women aren’t football cards to be traded between men!’

He doesn’t acknowledge her; he makes a thing about straining to listen to the voice note over her voice, as it continues.

‘... I wanted to catch Daisy getting off the bus but I missed her, and ... then David was there. It’s a long story, but what’s really sinister is that there was someone else on the beach that night.

The weirdo was crouching down by the beach huts.

At first I couldn’t see them, but there was something about the way they moved .

.. It was very dark, and I couldn’t be sure, but now I know it was the person I thought it was – I saw Daisy’s murderer. ’

There’s an audible gasp, and then absolute silence, waiting for more.

‘I know this person is capable of smashing someone’s skull in with a hammer; but until this weekend I thought Daisy’s killer was asleep in their room the night she was killed.

Daisy’s killer was my alibi. But looks like I was their alibi all along, because today I discovered they’d lied to the police about being home that night, and they’d also followed Daisy to the beach thinking she was meeting me.

That’s when my worst fears were confirmed – and I knew the small crouching figure in the darkness that night was my wife.

That’s why I’ve never told a soul before that I saw her that night, but I know it was Georgie, I’ve always known it . ..’