Page 16 of Wanting Daisy Dead

Maddie

Alex should be here today; I’m dying to see him.

When Lauren was going on about him being a big success, it wasn’t news, but he’s just Alex to me.

We got back in touch a few months ago when he called out of the blue, and it was wonderful to hear from him.

I’m not sure if he’s quite a billionaire, as Lauren said – she’s a writer, she exaggerates – but he’s doing okay.

I always take what Lauren says with a pinch of salt; no wonder her book did so well – she’s good at fiction.

I’m enjoying a rare moment of peace alone in my room when my phone pings with another voice note. Honestly, it’s like torture; I’m totally triggered.

‘Hey guys!’

Tammy’s voice is friendly and upbeat, but it’s starting to depress me.

‘Are you all enjoying the weekend so far? Hope so.

‘ Today over breakfast – which is waiting outside the apartment door – we’re doing an interview. It drops in fifteen minutes, and we’d really love for you to take a listen while you eat together in the kitchen.

‘Later we’re taking you all for a walk on the beach at Exmouth. Remember the bonfires on golden autumn evenings, when life was sweet, the moon kept watch and stars hung like lanterns in the sky?’

I feel sick. Yeah, we had some great times at Exmouth Beach – until Daisy died there.

I try not to think about that night because I will never be able to comprehend what happened.

I need to get out of this room; it’s like a prison cell of memories.

Every inch of this place reminds me of her.

I leave my room and walk into the bathroom; I need a few moments to gather myself.

Some rooms in the halls have an en-suite, but not mine.

The en-suites cost more, so students like me, Daisy and Alex had to use the cramped shared bathroom, and if the others had mates round they’d use our bathroom too.

At the time it never occurred to us to feel deprived, resentful or in any way lesser than the others. That came later.

I stand here now, looking in the bathroom mirror, and something seems to move behind me. I freeze, unable and unwilling to turn around, imagining it’s Daisy. Was it an illusion, or the swish of her long blonde hair?

I don’t hang around to find out, and open the bathroom door, heading quickly into the kitchen, where Georgie is manically wiping the surfaces with antibacterial cloths.

‘Morning!’ I say, still a little shaken and unsure. Georgie turns slightly, throwing a smile over her shoulder. ‘There’s a podcast interview in fifteen minutes.’ I try to sound happy about it.

‘Yeah, so I heard. Dan’s just in the shower.’

Georgie’s always stressed, but this morning she seems worse than usual, scrubbing a small area on the kitchen counter like her life depends on it. She’s wearing full make-up, and has blow-dried her hair like she’s off to a party. It’s 8.30 in the morning.

‘Hope you don’t mind me asking, but are you and Dan okay? It’s just that ... I thought I heard you arguing last night?’

She stops scrubbing the counter for a moment and I can see she’s upset. ‘Were we?’ She sounds flustered. ‘I don’t remember, we argue most of the time.’

‘Do you want to talk about it?’ I ask, gently.

Her eyes fill with tears. ‘Thanks – you were always so lovely whenever I’d had a row with Dan. You’d let me cry on your shoulder.’

‘That’s what friends are for.’

‘Yeah. I just hate ...’ She pauses. ‘...being away from the kids. My mum’s with them, but she lets them stay up late and gives them too much sugar; they’ll be tearing around the place .

..’ She leans against the counter, looking exhausted.

I reach to turn on the coffee machine, and she wipes where my hands have been, then sees that I’m watching her.

‘Sorry, I’m a bit ... Well, you know.’

‘I know.’

‘I drove you all mad back then, right?’

‘I always felt like it was us driving you mad. I once left toast crumbs on the counter – I thought you were going to kill me.’ I chuckle.

Suddenly the half-smile fades. ‘I’d never harm anyone , Maddie.’

‘No, no, I wasn’t saying ... It was a turn of phrase, but in the circumstances it was ... I just remember you standing there. You were chopping peppers and you raised the knife ...’ I know this is incriminating, but she did.

She’s staring straight at me now, her eyes wide with horror or hate. I feel threatened.

‘Sorry, I made it so much worse by mentioning the knife,’ I say, mentioning the knife. Again.

‘We have to be so careful what we say here, Maddie.’ She’s wiping again.

‘The mics in the communal areas are recording everything, and everyone is looking at everyone else,’ she whispers, her eyes wild.

Then she says loudly for the recording: ‘The slightest thing you say without thinking could get someone who’s innocent in big trouble, Maddie. ’

I pull an apologetic face and mouth. ‘Sorry!’

Tactless and socially awkward . That’s what Daisy called me. I can still hear her saying it, like the lines of a song forever in my head. I guess they all think I’m like that.

‘Hey, I just remembered, there’s breakfast out here.’ I open the apartment door to find a huge wicker hamper sitting in the hallway. I carry it back in, and place it on the counter – an offering to appease Queen Georgie.

‘Don’t put it there, it’s in the way,’ she grumbles. I know the drill, so move it to the table, keeping out of her way until she calms down.

Fortunately, it isn’t long before Lauren and Dan join us.

By then I’ve made coffee, and laid the table with the muesli, croissants, Danish pastries, fresh fruit and cheese from the hamper.

Georgie’s disapproval permeates the air like the smell of bleach, but it fades into the background once we’re all around the table.

‘I don’t remember breakfast ever looking like this when we were here the first time,’ Lauren’s saying as she takes a croissant and a spoonful of bright-red strawberry jam.

I already ate two croissants while putting the food out on plates, but that doesn’t stop me taking a pastry and cutting it into tiny pieces to make it last. I hate eating with other people. In fact I hate doing anything with other people.

Suddenly there’s the sound of our phones pinging throughout the apartment. This time it’s an audio file.

Dan puts his phone on the table and we all shush each other expectantly, waiting to hear Tammy’s voice. I don’t speak. I feel like Georgie hates me and the others tolerate me. It’s like I’m eighteen again at university.

‘Hey guys! Just doing a recap for our listeners for when the episodes drop next week ...

‘So, it’s more than twenty years since Exeter student Daisy Harrington was brutally murdered, and the man convicted of her killing took his own life six months ago.

Today is Daisy’s birthday, and if she’d still been with us she would be forty years old.

We’re spending the weekend with the housemates of Daisy Harrington, and the fifth housemate, Alex Jones, is flying in from the US today.

‘So, on with the story. All Daisy’s friends came under the spotlight when she went missing, and more so later when her body was discovered. They were interviewed by police at the time, who believed these teenagers had nothing to do with Daisy’s death.

‘Meanwhile, the police discovered that Daisy had been having an affair with her lecturer, who may have had a motive to kill her ... but more on that later.

‘So, our next guest has spent eighteen years campaigning tirelessly to keep David Montgomery in prison. While the “Free David Montgomery” campaign continued, and appeals were fought and lost, she kept Daisy’s story alive by speaking with the press.

Constantly reminding the public who Daisy was, she believed strongly that David was guilty of her murder, and that his was not a wrongful conviction.

‘But recently, some incredible information has come to light that has changed everything she so fiercely believed. This shocking new evidence could prove once and for all that Professor David Montgomery was not Daisy Harrington’s killer ... but someone here is.’