Page 29 of Waiting for Love (The Taverstons of Iversley #3)

A lthough Olivia had been to the Vauxhall Pleasure Gardens before, when she was a child, she had never been at night to see the place in all its glory. Flowers bloomed everywhere. The paths through the gardens were extensive and varied, meandering and straight, wide, and narrow, well-lit, and dark. Something for everyone. Notorious for illicit liaisons.

The Taverstons walked the main wide road to the pavilion where supper was served. Jasper had reserved a box. The ladies settled around a table while the men fetched the food.

The pavilion sat on a hill overlooking a tiled platform for dancing. Softly glowing lamps illuminated the whole, but not well. Vauxhall was equally prized for its shadows. An orchestra played, and music wafted up to them.

“This is grand,” Olivia said. She breathed in the perfume of the gardens. “It is the loveliest place I’ve seen in London.”

Georgiana squeezed her arm. “I’m so glad you’re pleased.”

Olivia smiled. She knew the family was worried about her because her sisters-in-law had told her so while they were putting on their boots. She’d told them she missed Chaumbers, and they sympathized. She told them she found the Marriage Mart overwhelming. She said nothing about Ebersom, but only that she didn’t understand how she was supposed to fall in love with one man when they all looked and talked and acted the same.

“Amen,” Georgiana said. “Olivia, don’t feel you must choose just for the sake of choosing. I think it should be a law that no girl should accept a proposal her first Season.”

Alice laughed. “Georgiana refused sixteen.”

“Seventeen,” Vanessa said. “You mustn’t forget Jasper.”

Olivia had giggled along with them. She’d thanked them for their advice. And confided nothing more. She hadn’t exclaimed joyously, Everything is all right now. Benjamin is staying in London!

The men returned with platters of refreshment: slivered ham and paper-thin slices of beef. Something shriveled and green. Stale bread rolls.

Olivia turned up her nose. “What on earth?”

“People do not come for the food,” Jasper said. “We must sit here awhile so that people may gawk at us. The commoners love to gawk at peers.”

Vanessa said coldly, “Well, I don’t.”

“Nor do I,” Benjamin added.

Jasper had the grace to flush.

They didn’t eat, but only talked and enjoyed the fresh air. Finally, Vanessa said, “I think now we may stroll and find some of the entertainments. Acrobats and jugglers and such. Then we come back to dance.”

“I only want to dance with Hazard and Benjamin,” Olivia reminded them. “I don’t want to bother with being polite.”

“Good Lord.” Hazard shuddered. “I’m filled with dread.”

Olivia grinned at him, and then squinted, wondering why he wore his hat tilted at such a strange angle. It cast a dark shadow over his face.

Vanessa said, “Jasper promised you would not have to think of suitors tonight.”

“No suitors,” Jasper agreed. “Now let us walk.”

They left the box and returned to the garden path. At first, they walked in a tight group, in couples. Olivia was thrilled to be paired with Benjamin. Jasper and Vanessa led, pausing to point out statues and unusual flowering shrubs, whatever they came across.

They stopped to join a crowd watching three extraordinary acrobats. Olivia squeezed Benjamin’s arm a few times in excitement and then he put his hand over hers, and left it there. She thrilled over the small victory.

When the acrobats stopped for air, a boy passed a hat. Jasper dropped a guinea on top of the pence and shillings. Olivia felt Benjamin tense. She glanced away when he dropped in his coin, but regretted doing that. Benjamin should not be ashamed. She was certain Reg was not throwing away guineas either.

As they walked on, their group spread out. They trailed Vanessa and Jasper down a less popular path. The shrubs here grew close together and were not yet flowering. Before long, Vanessa and Jasper were at least twenty paces ahead, Georgiana and Reg halfway between, and then Olivia with Benjamin. Hazard and Alice kept close on their tail.

They talked about Hannah, whose sentences were getting longer and who was outgrowing her clothes.

“I borrowed a horse from your brother this afternoon,” he said, raising a hand to scratch his temple. “The fattest and slowest.”

“Turtle.”

“We went to Green Park for an hour or so. We rode together first, the way we do, but she kept saying, ‘Let me, Papa. Let me.’”

“She wanted to ride by herself?”

He nodded, smiling faintly. “I dismounted and led Turtle. I thought I would have to hold her in the saddle, but I didn’t. And then, naturally, she yelled to every bystander, ‘I’m riding. See, I’m riding.’”

Olivia laughed. “Will you take me next time? I never see enough of her.”

Benjamin was quiet a moment, then said, “She misses you, too. She keeps asking for her Olly.”

Olivia warmed not only because Hannah said it, but because Benjamin shared it. But then they fell into a silence that was uncomfortable.

She was not surprised when Jasper led Vanessa onto a narrow side track that swallowed them up. There was no sign of them when the rest of the group passed by the spot. Olivia was a good deal more surprised that when another such track appeared in the distance, Reg began nudging Georgiana’s shoulder. And when the two of them reached it, he pulled her arm, and she laughed and followed.

Benjamin grunted. “Your brothers are too trusting.” He sounded angry.

She tilted her head. “What do you mean?”

He didn’t answer.

Hazard and Alice fell behind. Olivia and Benjamin took turns glancing over their shoulders. The path darkened as the lamps became farther apart. Ahead she saw another break in the wall of shrubbery. Another narrow path. She looked back. Hazard and Alice had stopped under the last lamppost. They were quite far behind, but easy to see in the light. Benjamin turned to look at the same time. It seemed as though the two were bickering. Then Alice put her hand on Hazard’s cheek . Olivia gasped. Hazard caught Alice’s hand and thrust it away. The bickering appeared to grow more heated.

“What is it?” Olivia said. “Should we go back?”

“No.” Benjamin took her arm and nudged her along. “Hazard’s face is bruised. Not very noticeably unless he is in the light, and I imagine Alice just noticed.”

“What do you mean? How bruised?”

“He…he slipped getting out of his carriage earlier this afternoon. He said he didn’t want to talk about it. Don’t bring it up.”

“Well, how silly.”

“Don’t bring it up.”

“I won’t. But it’s silly to get angry at Alice for noticing. It’s not like him.”

He shrugged but didn’t agree or disagree.

“Should we wait for them to catch up?” she asked.

He didn’t answer. They walked past the narrow path, staying on the safe one. But they came to a fork, two paths. One appeared to circle back and the other led on. Benjamin steered her toward the longer path. Shortly, they were out of sight of Hazard and Alice. Benjamin’s stride lengthened and she walked faster.

“I don’t know what kind of trees these are,” she said.

“I don’t either.”

She saw another narrow break off to the left. Overgrown. Dark. She wasn’t sure it was even a path. But their footsteps veered left. Olivia looked back and saw no one. Benjamin stopped at the entrance to the path which appeared to merely be a trampled foot track. He looked down at her. Studied her. She nodded. He took her by the hand and led her in.

It was quite overgrown. Benjamin held aside overhanging branches. Leaves and sticks crackled underfoot.

“I’m glad I am wearing my boots,” she said to say something.

He gave her a tight smile.

And then the foliage before them became too dense to go farther. A little moonlight filtered in from above and a dim glow from a faraway lamp kept the dark at bay. Benjamin turned to face her. They were hemmed in. Very hemmed in. Alone in their tiny world.

He took hold of her elbows. She listened to her heart beating wildly and waited. Then he let go and settled his hands on her shoulders. When she didn’t move, he slowly trailed his fingers back to her elbows, his touch skimming lightly over the fabric of her sleeves, then her arms.

“Like silk,” he murmured.

“It is silk.” She tried not to giggle. This was not the moment for giggling.

He smiled and repeated the caress. This time, his touch was firmer, lighting her arms on fire. She held very still. His hands went to her waist. Then up to cup her breasts. His breathing sounded ragged. After a several moments, he curled his hands and brushed his knuckles over the front of her bosom. It sent a shock through her. Indescribable. Indescribably wonderful.

“Benjamin,” she gasped, looking up into his eyes. “Do that again.”

His eyes went very dark. She watched him unbutton the cuff of his right glove, then he stripped it off. He hooked his left index finger into the neckline of her dress and pulled it down just far enough to slip his thumb, his naked thumb, under her chemise. He circled it around, making her shiver.

“Benjamin,” she whispered.

His mouth crashed down upon hers. This was what it was like to have him truly kiss her. She didn’t understand what he was doing—and then it all made sense as she mimicked him and felt what he must be feeling. There was so much more to kissing than she’d thought.

He gripped her hips and pulled her against him. His hands kneaded her buttocks. It was so very tempting to do the same, but she didn’t dare. Instead she dug her fingers into his hair, holding him so that they might never stop kissing.

But he did stop.

“I love you.” He groaned the words against her ear. “You know I do. But this has to stop.”

“No. It can’t. Kiss me, Benjamin.”

He let go of her and stepped back.

“I’m not going to take you against a tree. My God, Olivia.”

She blinked. And remembered where they were. “No. No, you’re right. Of course, you’re right.” Her head swam. She tried to think, to say the appropriate thing, even though nothing could be appropriate after that. “Not here. But…you will?”

His expression was both angry and pitying. “No. I won’t. I can’t.”

“Stop saying you can’t!” Her heart split in two. “Do you want me to have to marry someone else?”

“It isn’t what I want. It is what has to be.”

“It doesn’t! It doesn’t! I don’t care that you are a steward. Benjamin, you are—”

“You have no idea who I am! What I am.”

“I do! I do know. You are kind and strong and—”

“Olivia…” he sighed and groaned and laughed all in one sound. “I am a man who nearly defiled an innocent in a public garden. I am a liar. A fortune hunter. A criminal.”

“Benjamin!” She felt as though he had struck her. Why was he lying like this? “You aren’t any of those things.”

“Throw in kidnapper for good measure.”

“Stop it!” She put her hands over her ears. “You can’t make me believe any of that. It’s absurd.”

“No. Maybe you won’t. But Jasper will have to. I can’t take advantage of his trust any longer. Look at me.” He held up his hands. One gloved. One not. “I am not a gentleman. I’m the worst kind of cad.”

He dropped his hands and pulled his glove on. Taking her elbow, he marched her back toward the lighted path. She didn’t resist. If he was going to behave like a madman there was no point resisting. As they reached the junction, he held her back and looked beyond to be sure the way was clear, then looked back at her in the better light.

“Bloody hell,” he swore, then yanked on her dress to straighten it and flicked a few leaves from her hair.

They had just started down the path and turned the next corner when Hazard and Alice came hurrying toward them.

“We thought we lost you!” Alice exclaimed.

Hazard’s eyes shot daggers at them. No, at Benjamin.

“You walked right past us. We were there,” Benjamin pointed vaguely, “and you two stormed by, arguing. We’ve been waiting for you to come back.”

Hazard looked skeptical, but lowered his gaze and chewed his lip, giving Benjamin the benefit of the doubt.

Olivia stepped up and tucked her hand into the crook of his elbow. “Come along, Haz. Let’s let Benjamin bicker with Alice while we go find the others.”

“We weren’t bickering,” he said in a snit.

Olivia made herself laugh. “Oh, now you are bickering with me, too.”

*

She wanted to go back to the house, but there was dancing, and she didn’t know how to cry off.

She danced a reel with Hazard. He still seemed peeved, but perhaps not with her or Benjamin. He looked as though he had a headache. And in the lamplight, his eye was definitely blackened.

When the music ended, Hazard brought her back to the table. According to the program, a waltz would be next. They would all want to dance unless Alice and Hazard were still at odds.

While the musicians retuned their instruments, Olivia leaned against the table rather than taking a seat, and tried not to look at Benjamin. Would he pretend he didn’t remember he was supposed to partner her?

“Good evening, Iversley. I had not known you would be here.” The Duke of Lythe strode up.

“Your Grace,” Jasper replied. “On such a pleasant evening, we thought we should bring Lady Olivia.”

“Indeed.” He smiled. “Lady Olivia, I hope you will join me.” He gestured to the platform. “We have not yet had an opportunity to waltz.”

She shot a frantic glance at Jasper, whose face had gone white.

Vanessa said, “Your Grace, that is very kind of you, but we wanted to give Lady Olivia a reprieve from the whirlwind. Tonight is just for family.”

He peered down his nose at her, then at their party which very clearly did not consist entirely of family. He did not deign to speak to Vanessa but turned to Hazard.

“I am sure Viscount Haslet will yield his dance to me. He won’t appreciate so pretty a partner.”

Even Olivia recognized the implied insult, with its dangerous challenge. No one said anything. So she did. “Your Grace, I have become quite accustomed to you stealing other men’s dances.”

As she moved to take his arm, she saw gratitude on Jasper’s face, relief on Hazard’s. The cowards.

The music was beginning, so they hurried onto the dance platform. The duke took her into his arms. He did not dance as well as Ebersom, but he behaved correctly. She didn’t know why he worried her. He was pushy, but he was entitled to be so.

After a few minutes of questions about her first visit to Vauxhall, the duke said, “There was another man in your party. I don’t know him.”

“That is Mr. Carroll.”

“Who is?”

“He is the steward at Chaumbers.”

The duke snorted. “Iversley’s penchant for the underclasses is getting absurd. Bad enough he felt it necessary to marry his tart, but to—”

“Lady Iversley is my sister-in-law. I will not hear ill spoken of her.”

“But you certainly should not speak well of her! Your family confounds me. Your mother thought, rightly I might add, that I should not take you riding in the early hours. But she allows Iversley to bring you to this hedonistic place with his”—he harrumphed—“wife and his steward ? Your dear father must be spinning in his grave.”

Olivia took a purposeful misstep and stomped her boot down on his foot. His leg started to fold.

“Good God! Are you wearing horseshoes ?”

“I beg your pardon. I didn’t see…” She jumped back and swiped her hand across her eyes as if wiping tears. Tears would unsettle him. “But it is unkind of you to use my father’s name to insult us.” She turned around and began walking briskly away.

He chased her. Limping. He caught her arm, and she shook it off.

“You must let me apologize. My dear, you must.”

She stood still, forcing other dancers to swerve to avoid them. She was making a scene. Jasper would not be pleased.

“Dear girl, I am sorry.” He rubbed his fingertips nervously against his jacket. “I am something of a relic, I know. In my day we did not…but you are an innocent, and I should not have vented my spleen upon you. Your brother’s irregular friendships do not, at least, I do not believe, reflect badly upon you.”

“Nor upon him.”

“Your loyalty is endearing. But we will have to agree to disagree.”

There was no getting rid of this man. She pursed her lips and nodded.

“Now.” He gave her a thin smile. “You must let me make it up to you. I will take you riding tomorrow in my carriage. Here is what we will do. We will go to Hyde Park late in the morning. Your mother will have no cause to fuss.”

Olivia wondered how that was making it up to her .

“I will have one of my grooms wait with Cassieopia and my Brutus by the east bridle path and we can escape the carriage and ride horseback. Will that do?”

It would if she could ride the horse without him.

“You needn’t bribe me, Your Grace. You have apologized and I accept.”

“But wouldn’t you like to ride Cassieopia?”

“Well, yes, I would but…”

He sighed. “But not with an old relic like me.”

“It is not that! I assure you.” She had no excuse to make. None.

“Come, let us get off the platform. We are in everyone’s way.” He brought her back to the table.

“What happened?” Jasper demanded.

Everyone had been watching.

“I’m afraid I don’t waltz as well as I thought.” She wouldn’t draw attention to the boots.

“It is nothing,” the duke said. “A minor misstep. But I am going home now to soak my bunions.” He smiled as if he’d made a joke, then bowed to Olivia.

After he was out of earshot, Jasper said, “What really happened?”

“He was rude about Vanessa, so I stomped him.” She didn’t mention that he was rude about Benjamin too, or remind them he had made incriminating insinuations about Hazard.

“The devil, Olivia.” Jasper rubbed his face with his palm. “In that case, you tell me and let me deal with it. You cannot go about stomping dukes.”

“I disagree,” Alice said. “Perhaps they should be stomped more often.”