Page 15 of Waiting for Love (The Taverstons of Iversley #3)

O livia woke early. Although she could see drizzle through her windows, she asked Tansy for her brown riding habit.

“It is either go riding or go mad,” she said, in the face of her maid’s disapproval.

The house was eerily silent. When Olivia entered the dimly lit breakfast parlor, warm pelisse slung over her arm and hat in hand, she saw only one corner lamp burning. But the room wasn’t empty. Jasper stood beside the buffet. He held himself stiffly and sipped from a teacup. Tea, not his usual coffee. And the food on the buffet was untouched.

“How are you?” she asked in a whisper.

He made a sour face. His temples had a pinched look. She supposed he hadn’t slept.

“Will Vanessa be ready for visitors this morning?”

“I don’t think so.” He looked her up and down. “It is raining out.”

“Not hard.”

“Olivia.” Then he shook his head. “Just be careful.”

He set his cup down and walked from the room.

There was no reason to sit alone in a half-darkened room, so she took a piece of toast for her walk to the stables. When she stepped outside, into air that was misty and cold but without actual precipitation, she was surprised to see Benjamin on the path. He was trudging as if pulling a heavy sledge. Rather than follow twenty-paces behind, she called out, “Benjamin! Wait a moment.” She walked quickly to catch up.

“Lady Olivia.” He tipped his hat but didn’t remove it. “You shouldn’t be riding in this.”

“I thought Jasper was silly for reminding me to be careful, but at least he didn’t tell me not to ride.”

He set his jaw but didn’t respond. She saw the same headachey pinched appearance on his face that had been on Jasper’s. The same ashen pallor.

“Ah,” she said, with a bit of a smile. “You had a chance to speak with him last night?”

He nodded.

“Good. I’m glad. He must have needed a friend.”

He didn’t respond to that either. But when she started to walk, he fell into step alongside.

“Where are you off to?” she asked. “The cottage?”

“The village. The earl asked me to speak with Mr. Leighton.”

Olivia put her hand on his arm and halted. “Please stop that. I am still Olivia, and the earl is still Jasper. You are being ridiculous.”

“It’s only proper—”

She flung out her arm. “There is no one for miles around!”

He stiffened. “Which makes propriety even more necessary.” Then his face flushed, and he closed his mouth tight as though he regretted the words. If she were counting clues, that would be one. He didn’t trust himself alone with her. But there were a hundred alternative explanations.

She resumed walking. “Are you to arrange a funeral? Is that why you are going to see Mr. Leighton?”

“A private burial. On Chaumbers’ grounds. The earl says Lady Iversley does not want this to become publicly known. She wishes no callers or cards.”

“I can understand that. She hasn’t had time to become acquainted with anyone beyond family. She shouldn’t have to share her pain with strangers.”

His head cocked to the side as he regarded her. “That is…perceptive. I wonder… Who she could share with? Besides the earl, I mean.” He hesitated. “He is carrying his own grief.”

Oh, poor Jasper. “Fortunately, he had you. He must have needed to talk.”

Benjamin grimaced. “We drank a vat.”

“I thought you might have. What did you talk about?”

“The countess. How they met. How difficult it was when they…when they fell out.”

“You now know more than I do.”

He smiled a little ruefully. “I don’t imagine your brother’s love life was ever an appropriate topic for you.”

“No.” She thought for a moment. She was seeing Vanessa’s behavior in a different light now. Of course she hadn’t wanted to go riding. Or to fret together over how best to face the ton. “Who can Vanessa confide in? Georgiana might not be the best person just now. Vanessa’s brother came to the wedding, but I don’t think they are close.” She frowned when Benjamin just shook his head. He didn’t know either. “She has friends in Cartmel.”

“The folks in Cartmel are not…moneyed. And Cartmel is days away. They could not be sent for. They would have to be fetched. The countess would likely see it as too great an imposition.”

He was right. She sighed.

“I think she is close to Crispin. But that is no help.” She kicked a small stone in her path. “I don’t know who she can really talk to, besides Jasper.”

He made a sympathetic sound, but said nothing.

Olivia sighed again. “She and I haven’t had time to grow close. It all just happened so fast. And ladies can’t simply drink vats to become bosom friends.”

Benjamin’s lips bunched and a little laughter entered his eyes. “No. I don’t suppose you can.”

As they approached the stables, the mist changed to a light rain. Benjamin rubbed his arms, then frowned as he swung the door wide.

“You are certain you want to ride in this?”

“I’d rather ride in sunshine if you have any.”

He sniffed. “Just be careful,” he echoed Jasper.

They entered the stable. It held all of its typical winter gloom with an added helping of damp. But Olivia breathed in the scent of horse, sawdust, and straw and comfort seeped into her bones. She loved this. And she would hate London. But what a bother she would be to everyone if she were to say so.

George came hurrying to them, though he hustled slowly as though his knees hurt. “Ah! I wasn’t expecting company this day. I’ll fetch one of the lads.”

“May I have Oatmeal?” Olivia asked.

He stopped. His bushy eyebrows rose. “Oatmeal? No, miss, m’fraid not. Fergus took her.”

“Took her?” Benjamin demanded.

“Aye, he did. Mr. Taverston’s orders, see. An errand to London. I told him Fergus was our fastest and Oatmeal best for such a long ride. So.”

Benjamin shook his head with what seemed to be annoyance.

George went on, “Dandy could use a good run, miss. And Goose for you, sir?”

“Dandy will be just fine,” Olivia said. “And Goose.”

George bustled off to fetch one of the stable hands. Benjamin still frowned.

“What is wrong?” Olivia murmured.

“Jasper was adamant that Mr. Leighton be told not to let word get out. Not to even tell Reverend Brindle. I suppose I am concerned why Reg sent Fergus on an errand to London. Jasper didn’t mention it. Did Reg say anything to you?”

She shook her head. How odd. Unless…unless Georgiana’s pains had started.

“Maybe that is it,” she accidentally said aloud.

“What?”

“Well, it would be particularly unfortunate timing if Georgiana’s confinement is due, but Reg might have sent a message to her father.”

Benjamin’s eyes widened with surprise. “Is the duke supposed to come for that?”

“I don’t know.” She shrugged, feeling an unexpected pang of grief. “My father would have.”

“ Hmm .” He looked as though he wanted to say something sympathetic. Instead, he said, “The timing may not be unfortunate. Maybe everyone could use a joyous event. Besides, Jasper and Vanessa won’t begrudge—”

“No, of course not.”

She decided not to point out that, when he was not being conscientious, Benjamin reverted to everyone’s Christian names.

A clip-clop of hooves sounded on the cobblestones, and she glanced over toward the stalls to see George and a new young groom leading Dandy and Goose.

“Here you go,” George said. “Give’er a leg up there, Jim.”

“I’ll do it,” Benjamin said, stepping in.

He didn’t simply make a cradle of his hands, but lifted her by the waist the way a gentleman would. She found she had to steady herself with a heavy hand on his shoulder until she was firmly seated.

“Ha!” she laughed, embarrassed by her lack of grace. “We’ll have to practice.”

He turned to mount Goose without replying. His refusal to flirt, even the tiniest bit, was either endearing or insulting. She rode out the door, Goose close behind. She had made no decision where to go, though she had been thinking she’d head to the orchard rather than the lake. She waited to see if Benjamin might suggest they ride part of the way together.

As they emerged into the open ground before the stable, he tipped his hat once more and said, “Perhaps I will see you this evening.”

The orchard it would be.

*

Jasper circulated word that tea would take place in the parlor at four o’clock. Olivia, who had been sharing a Radcliffe novel with Alice, side-by-side on the davenport in the ladies’ sitting room, closed the book abruptly at quarter to four.

“Let’s be early for once.” This was not the time to test Mama’s patience.

Alice looked rather peaked. She wore the somber blue frock she’d worn to the wedding, which was not very flattering, but it was not only that. She seemed uncharacteristically listless. Olivia had asked her if she was feeling well, and Alice replied only that the duchess was smothering poor Georgiana. But when Olivia asked if Georgiana’s pains had begun, she’d said, “No. Why?”

Olivia didn’t mention Reg sending Fergus on an errand. Everything felt upside down and inside out.

They were the first to arrive in the parlor and took seats as solemnly as if they were in church. Hands folded in their laps, they sat in silence as maids brought in a large teapot and plates of biscuits and sandwiches. They set them on the serving table, then made brief curtsies and tiptoed from the room.

A moment later, Benjamin entered. He seemed amused to see them sitting there like statuettes. He bowed. “Ladies.” He went to the fireplace and stood with his back to the fire, hands behind his back.

He looked terribly handsome, Olivia thought. He had changed clothes since his early morning ride. His hair had a glossy sheen to it. He’d shaved. And his dark, plain jacket and trousers were almost comically correct. His neckcloth was tied very simply, more simply than even Reg’s would be, and Reg had once argued that having valets spend hours learning elaborate methods of tying cravats was an affront to good sense.

Reg, Georgiana, and the duchess were next to show. It was funny to see Georgiana lumbering, but of course, Georgiana could look graceful lumbering and was beautiful even though she appeared ready to give birth at any moment. The duchess looked dyspeptic. Poor Reg simply seemed tired. He escorted Georgiana to a chair, fussed with pillows behind her back, then retreated to stand beside Benjamin.

Jasper also arrived early. He glanced around the room and his lips curled into a smile.

“This is…rather fun.” He strode to the clock on the wall and advanced the hands by ten minutes. He turned around and faced them. “When Mother arrives, we must all look at the clock and then frown at her sternly.”

Olivia giggled. They quieted quickly and listened for footsteps. Mama entered the room and stopped abruptly, startled. Everyone obeyed Jasper’s request with the precision of trained actors. Olivia thought she’d never seen her mother so nonplussed. Jasper burst out laughing, and of course, they all did. Even the duchess. Even Mama.

Olivia’s heart swelled. She loved her family so much.

As the laughter subsided, she sneaked a glance at Benjamin, who might not quite understand the joke they’d played, turning the tables on Mama. He was smiling, but the smile looked brittle, as if a tap might shatter it to pieces.

They settled in. Mama poured. They sipped tea and ate cakes, saying meaningless things until Jasper cleared his throat. Silence fell.

“Mr. Leighton will be here tomorrow morning. We will bury my daughter in the grove on the far side of the lake.”

A daughter. Only a daughter. Benjamin returned the glance Olivia gave him, his eyes brimming with sympathy. There were nods and a few hums. Olivia recalled that the grove had been a favorite place of Jasper’s long ago. She hadn’t known he still visited it. It was a lovely, peaceful spot.

“Vanessa will not go. She isn’t…it is too painful for her. And for that reason, I think it is better that we not…that it not be something we all do that she will later regret missing.” Jasper coughed. Or perhaps choked. He clenched and unclenched his hands. His composure deserted him for a moment. Then he straightened his shoulders and continued. “I would appreciate it if Reginald, Olivia, and Mother would attend with me. I hope the rest of you understand…” He trailed off.

The room fell silent.

Until the duchess said, “That sounds eminently sensible.”

A jumble of agreement followed. Jasper looked relieved. No, more than relieved. He looked as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Oh, Jasper. On top of everything else, he hadn’t wanted to hurt anyone’s feelings.

Conversation was subdued. Jasper asked Olivia where she had ridden and Alice what she was reading. Mama said she’d had a lovely visit with Miss Jamison and asked Benjamin what he and Hannah had done. Voices were low. It seemed no one listened very carefully to anyone else’s answers. The only question that mattered, no one asked. Was Vanessa all right?

Tea dragged on. Nevertheless, they drew strength from being together and no one wanted to be the one to break the gathering apart. Twice, Benjamin threw more wood onto the fire. The teapot went cold, but there were still sandwiches to finish.

Sleet pattered against the window and the sky darkened. Footmen came in to light the lamps. Jasper cast a slow look around the room, then got to his feet.

Mama said, “Stay, Jasper. I’ll go.”

He shook his head.

And then, there was a clattering sound from outside. Swaying lights appeared in the window, then disappeared.

“Is that a carriage?” Jasper asked. “Who the devil?”

Olivia looked to Benjamin who was looking quizzically at Reg.

Jasper went to the window and peered out, but by the way he bent and turned his head, it was apparent he could see nothing. So they all simply waited.

Several minutes later, Peters came into the room.

“My lord, Viscount Haslet is here. May I bring him up?”

“Haz? Is here?”

The strangest look passed over Jasper’s face. The best Olivia could make out, it was gratefulness.

“Yes, yes. Bring him up,” Jasper said. When Peters left, Jasper turned immediately to Reg. He didn’t say anything, but Reg gave a small nod and Jasper just sighed. It was wonderful.

Hazard walked into the room. With none of his usual insouciance. Olivia was so glad to see him she jumped to her feet and started toward him. But he strode straight to Jasper, ignoring everyone else, and clasped both of his arms.

“You are all right?”

“Yes.”

“And Vanessa is safe? Not in any danger?”

“No. I mean, no danger. She’ll recover, the doctor says.”

Hazard let go of Jasper and wiped a forearm across his brow. He must have been seven straight hours in a carriage and looked it. “Thank God.” He took a step back and started to turn. “Where is she? I take it she shares your bedchamber?”

“Yes, but…” Jasper caught his shoulder. “She doesn’t want visitors. She doesn’t…she isn’t speaking much.”

Hazard’s face crumpled. “Not speaking?”

Olivia’s throat felt tight. She could not picture Vanessa, strong Vanessa, lying in bed too sorrowful to even give voice to her hurt. Dear God. How were women supposed to bear this?

Jasper shook his head. “Haz, I—” His voice broke.

“You,” Hazard said sternly, poking a finger into Jasper’s chest. “Stay here.”

“Don’t—”

“If she throws me out, she throws me out.”

He turned about and left the room.

Hazard hadn’t appeared aware of anyone’s presence but Jasper’s. Olivia had been so focused on their exchange, she didn’t even notice that Benjamin had crept up beside her.

“Hazard,” he said, his lips too close to her ear for propriety. “That is who we forgot.”