Page 63 of Vying Girls (Girls of Hazelhurst #2)

‘Yeah. I mean, I will. After all this. It’s just…yeah, no other option.’

Nic nods understandingly, then says, ‘There is though. That’s why I’m here. I want to talk to you about it.’

‘O-kay. Shoot.’

‘So—’ She does something on her phone, then spins it to face me. There’s a photo of some woman on the screen. ‘This is Angelica.’

‘Okay. New bird?’

She huffs out a laugh. ‘No. A nurse. Cum babysitter. Cum dogwalker.’

I frown, pulling the phone closer with a finger. ‘Huh?’

‘I spoke to her yesterday. She’s local. To you. She can start whenever.’

‘Start what?’ I look up at Nic. ‘I’m confused.’

‘Here. Helping. Anything your nan wants.’ She taps the table with a finger. ‘Whilst you’re getting on at uni.’

I look back down at the woman, touching the screen when it begins to darken. She’s got light eyes, a bland smile. Maybe ten or so years older than us.

‘All on me,’ Nic says quietly. ‘Let me, Elly.’

I shake my head, looking up as Tilda comes back in and takes the seat beside me. The energy in the room turns weird but I’m too confused to care much.

‘That would cost, like, a shit-tonne of money.’

Nic nods easily. ‘Mm-hm. Which I have.’ She glances at Tilda briefly. ‘Believe me, it’s better going on this than other shit.’

When I still don’t say anything, she leans forward.

‘Look. Get your nan down here. It’s her I should be persuading anyway.

It’s just for a year, Elly.’ She regards me with a protective intensity.

‘Not letting you throw your future away if there’s something to be done about it.

And there is. Because you’ve got two rich as shit friends with a weird aversion to spending. ’

I snort at the truth of that. Out of the three of us, it’s me spending my loans on useless crap the most.

I pick up a slice of pizza, plopping it on a plate for Tilda. ‘Can we eat first? My brain’s mush and I can’t think right.’

Nic nods, that determination dimming in the face of a meal with me and Tilda. ‘Course. No rush.’

Nic

Two hours later, I’m still at Elly’s, growing twitchier by the second. Pizza turned into ice lollies which turned into some multiplayer game thing. Only her mum stays upstairs, hiding away in her nan’s bedroom.

They’re a funny bunch, I can see how Elly fits in. I can also tell it’s a forced sort of cheer, more a release of energy than anything else. There’s no escaping that their loved one is dying. The sadness of it seeps from the walls.

Truthfully, I’m more aware of the other odd one out. It’s like there’s some kind of cord, attaching me and Tilda no matter where we’re sitting. It’s awkward. There’s just not the space here to talk.

I note the time. If I leave soon, I can get back to the ferry before it gets too late.

My skin tingles when Tilda gets up from the sofa, making an arc around where I sit, and enters the kitchen.

‘Go talk to her,’ Elly says. ‘I know she’s dying to.’

With a hesitant nod, I get up.

Tilda’s by the window, looking out into the garden. She turns her head when I enter.

‘Hey,’ I say.

‘Hey,’ she whispers, her voice so uncertain, so fearful of my constant attacks that suddenly this small kindness for Elly and her family feels like nothing.

Because Tilda’s still hurting, because I’m still hurting her.

‘Did Haz tell you that it wasn’t me who told coach?’ she asks quietly, turning to me fully, agitating her own fingers for comfort.

I nod, attempting a small, alleviating smile. ‘Yeah. She did.’

The change in Tilda is immediate. Her energy lightens, her smile turning her eyes into glowing emeralds, and suddenly I can’t fucking breathe.

I try to draw in air around this swelling in my heart.

She’s so beautiful. So pretty it hurts, backlit by the evening sunlight.

But the hurting’s the good type. I feel alive.

Real. A human capable of feeling. Like I’ve gained consciousness in all of a second.

The air puffs from my lungs when she launches herself at me. I stiffen in her arms before cautiously holding her back. My palms tingle, wildfire erupting along my skin.

‘That was so kind,’ she whispers into my chest. ‘Thank you so much for doing that. I know Elly’s chuffed deep down.’

I nod, unable to speak. Jesus, maybe this is what a heart attack feels like. Maybe it’s all too late for me. My arms tighten reflexively, the thought that I’ve run out of time dousing me like glacier water.

‘I’m sorry,’ I mumble, so quiet I’m not sure she can even hear.

She must do though, her arms giving me a squeeze before she pulls back.

Smiling shyly, she asks, ‘So, what now? Are you sticking around?’

I hesitate. ‘Better not. Can’t leave Haz alone for too long.’

Tilda grins. ‘True. Bet she’s being crawling the walls alone.’

I huff at the accuracy of that, making my way back into the lounge to say my goodbyes.

Elly’s nan hugs me for a long time, rocking me side to side until a chuckle escapes me. She’s not said yes yet, but just the offer seems to be enough for now.

After I’ve said bye to the rest of them, I take a breath and turn to Tilda. ‘Can I talk to you outside a sec?’

She nods, following me as I put on my shoes and leave through the door. I’m more than just tingling with awareness now. There’s this desperation inside, making me want to claw to her. I don’t want to leave like this. There’s too much I need to say—to do. There’s just too much.

She closes the door behind us. ‘Hey, are you okay—?’

Cupping her cheeks, I crush our lips together. Not even a surprised gasp escapes her as she threads her arms around me, almost like she’s been waiting for this this whole time.

And I suppose she has. After that night in my room, all the other times before then. She’s always wanted this. And judging by this lava in my veins, so have I.

She moves back, pressing herself to the door and taking me with her. This close, she’s so small, so delicate in my hands. It makes me want to weep for how cruel I’ve been.

Despite the ticking time, the faces that could be pressed against the windows, I don’t draw back.

Reality has no place in this weird in between.

This isn’t our world. We’re both just visitors, thrown out of our usual orbits.

It’s not now that matters, but when we’re back on Hazelhurst. That’s when the real work begins.

Tilda holds me just as desperately, taking everything like a dying man in a desert. There’s a stark distrust in her actions. She doesn’t know the promises I’ve made. To her, this could be the last nice thing I give her.

After an eternity, I draw away, pressing my forehead to hers. ‘Yeah,’ I breathe. ‘I’m okay.’

Tilda lets out a gust of laughter. ‘That was, um, literally the last thing I expected.’

I smile thinly. ‘But not unwanted?’

‘Not on my end. Never know with yours though.’

I raise my eyebrows. ‘You weren’t sure about that?’

Tilda rolls her eyes. ‘You know what I mean. Up until now…’

‘Yeah. I know.’ I open my mouth, wanting to say more, but close it again when I hear Taylor shrieking in the house. This isn’t the place for this.

Tilda smiles gently, seeming to understand. It makes something flare inside me because God knows I don’t deserve it.

She takes hold of my fingers and squeezes. ‘Chat for another day, yeah?’

‘Yeah.’ I step away, sliding my hands into my pockets. ‘Gotta go. Train is soon.’

‘Okay. See you soon then. And thanks again, you literal hero.’

I leave her standing on the doorstep, one of those giddy, trembling smiles on her lips. There’s no smile on mine but my whole body feels shaky, like I can run all the way back to Hazelhurst without breaking a sweat.

By the time I reach the train station, it’s dampened a bit. I know a kiss means nothing, not even a start of making things up to her.

I’m still not sure there’s anything I can do for that.