Page 52 of Vying Girls (Girls of Hazelhurst #2)

Elly

Half an hour later, we’re sat on plush chairs outside a nondescript classroom, the echo of students sounding in the foyer below. It’s a long drop and I had to prise Haz from the edge after she spent a suspicious amount of time peering over the stone balustrade.

She sits restlessly beside me, idly watching our course mate enter the room, both legs jiggling where she leans her elbows.

‘Nervous?’

She squints across at me. ‘What?’

‘For the presentation.’

‘Oh.’ She gives a curt headshake. ‘No.’

Thinking about Tilda then. Same as me, the vision of her curled-up, crying body lancing my heart with the acutest feeling of guilt I’ve ever felt. Should have gone to her. Should have held her, kissed her, brushed away her tears, instead of stewing in my own betrayal. Some girlfriend I am.

‘Think she’s alright?’ I say quietly.

Haz frowns. ‘No.’ She sighs, slamming back in her chair. ‘What’s taking so fucking long? I should be nearly done by now.’

I shake my head, wishing we were done too.

It’s been a crappy day all round, to be honest. I woke up to a call from Nan saying Grandad’s having issues with his colostomy bag again.

The pain, the constipation. It was only after hunting the house up and down, seeking out Tilda for a little selfish comfort, did it sink in that she was gone.

The lodge was locked, so I assumed no one had absconded with her in the night.

Nic was at her tent, as per, leaving only Haz who isn’t the best person to deal with in an emergency, especially where her girl’s involved.

Too angsty, too angry. She’d been about to contact campus security when Nic finally rocked up with her dirty laundry.

It was too much. Between Grandad and Tilda running off and preparing for this fucking presentation.

When Nic brought her back home, the relief had been paralysing.

I heard her come upstairs and enter Haz’s room, but I remained stuck at my desk, eyes refusing to focus on my last-minute presentation research.

She was safe. She’d left me, duped me, but she was safe.

But now…I close my eyes when they start to sting, releasing a sigh through my nose. I hadn’t gone to her. She’d been sobbing, bleeding, and I just stood there, rooted by my own confusion and sadness. The urge to run back to her now is overpowering.

Leaning forward again, Haz twists the serpent ring on her finger. ‘You saw that right? What she did. You know that I didn’t…’

‘I know you didn’t hit her. Not on purpose.’

‘She kept asking me to.’ Haz scoffs, shaking her head. ‘She’s fucked up, man.’

It’s a relief, honestly. I know what I saw but I can’t help but worry what the two of them get up to without me.

Haz has a way of getting carried away, especially in bed, and with Tilda and her innate self-reproach, it wouldn’t take too much to go too far.

I’m glad Haz knows when to say no. That punch was still a shock though, the meaty impact of it still ringing in my ears.

‘She’s going to be cutting herself right now,’ I say, my jaw clenched against the truth of that. I stare at the classroom door, willing it to open so we can get this over with.

‘I know.’ Yanking her ring off, Haz launches it over the edge. ‘Motherfucking thing.’

I wince, hoping no one’s walking below. ‘So, you’re saying this is all Nic’s fault?’

‘According to Tilda. We gotta put our foot down, man. This is all getting too fucked.’ Haz slams a fist on her thigh. ‘We’re getting it out of her. Tonight. And we’re sorting it for good.’

I nod, attention drawn back to the door when it opens.

Haz jumps up. ‘Fucking finally.’

‘Good luck, dude.’

She snorts quietly as she makes her way over. ‘Yeah. Don’t wait up.’

Nic

The house is silent but I know she’s here. I feel her presence like an ominous spirit, the dense energy hanging right over my head in Haz’s room. Hope she felt better after that fuck, glad I was alone to endure it. For once I felt nothing, not even a tingle.

I’ve been pacing down here ever since, hovering by the front door, not quite trusting her not to bolt again. It’s clear she’s impulsive when in a state and I can’t have her fucking off again. I doubt Damien’s skulking around here, not if he was sighted in Tilda’s town, but better not to chance it.

I just want my tent. I feel too much here.

You hurt me too.

Why was that so jarring to hear? Of course I hurt her. I’ve done it on purpose. I’ve wanted to. Is it because this time had consequences? Or is it something else, something softer?

Well, anyway. Here I am, doing my bit in keeping her safe like I promised Haz. She might as well have had me held at gunpoint with how her eyes had been spitting, all but threatening me to keep an eye on her girl. That hadn’t been necessary. I would have done it anyway.

I crane my head to the ceiling. Suppose I should go check on her. Haz and Elly have been gone a while.

Body heavy, I heave up the stairs. It really is like there’s a demon in Haz’s room. I stand outside in the dim corridor, imagining exorcisms and how Tilda would probably get off on them.

I knock and twist the handle, spotting Tilda on the bed. I snap my eyes away at the sight of her bare ass facing me, the place between her legs shadowy with her knees pulled to her chest.

‘Tilda.’ My voice is hoarse. I force myself to look, remembering that we’ve practically fucked twice. There are stark red lines on her thigh. New ones. I swallow against the unreasonable rage they conjure.

She murmurs in response, remaining as still as a corpse.

Damn. Must have been a good fucking.

Releasing my grip on the door handle, I cross over to the other side of the bed.

‘You good?’

Tilda nods. Then she moves her hand away from her face to answer aloud. ‘Yeah. I’m good.’

I frown, peering closer. It’s dark in here; Haz can rarely be fucked to open her curtains. ‘What’s on your mouth?’

‘Nothing.’

‘Tilda.’ I pull her hand away, exposing the cut on her mouth. Her lip’s swollen, blood crusted there. ‘Did Haz do that?’

Tilda hesitates. It’s obvious someone’s hit her. After a couple go arounds with Blakely, I know what a punch in the mouth looks like.

‘Was she wearing her fucking ring?’ My voice rises, unable to conceal my anger.

Hypocrite. That’s what she’d call me. What’s a split lip compared to all I’ve done? But I’m not rational right now. I’m fucking furious.

‘Answer me, Jesus.’

There are tears in Tilda’s voice as she replies, ‘Kind of, but—’

I hear the front door open. I flee the room, knowing all I need to.

‘Nic, wait—’

I bump into Elly coming out the kitchen, pushing past her to get to Haz.

‘You fucking hit her?’

That she doesn’t deny it straight away is answer enough. She opens her mouth but I’ve got her up against the wall, not giving a shit what she has to say.

Tilda’s not—she’s not— dammit, I know she’s not mine but fuck .

And fuck Haz too. Not when she was like how she was earlier.

They weren’t there. They didn’t see that wildness in her eyes, the one that made her want to run, run, run.

The one I put there. She’s like me, Tilda.

Using pain to punish herself. How can Haz not see that? How had she done that?

‘Hitting girls now, is that it?’

Haz looks back at me with fire in her eyes, refusing to reply.

‘Dude, get off her.’ Elly pulls at me, trying to get between us. ‘Tilda did that. I was there. I saw it. Haz didn’t do a thing.’

I scoff, a smile pulling at my lips. ‘Right. She split her own lip. Sure.’

‘Seriously,’ she insists.

Haz has yet to say anything, just staring me down with resentful eyes.

‘Is that true?’

‘Looks like you’ve made up your mind,’ she spits, pushing me off her. ‘Fuck you, Nic. Fucking hypocrite.’

Her too. I almost laugh.

‘Don’t be caring about Tilda’s wellbeing now. You’ve been out to get her since day fucking one. You’re the reason she’s in this state! Why she ran away. If she got hurt today, Nic, that’s on you and only you.’

Like I don’t know that. I glance up, hearing movement in Haz’s room. When I move to push past Elly, she pushes me right back. I don’t recognise the steel in her blue eyes.

Looking between the two of them, I let out a snort. ‘Right, I get it. Fucking pussy whipped, the both of you.’

‘Just back off, Nic. Fuck. I’m not doing this shit for the rest of the year.’ Haz glares at me. It’s not a look I’ve not seen before but something about it chills me. Something between us is changing. ‘You’re the reason she cuts, you know. Every time she hurts herself, it’s because of you.’

She jabs a finger at me, almost making me step back. I stare at her, my body humming, a roar rushing to my head.

Those cuts, the ones on her legs now, had she been thinking about me whilst she’d done them? It makes me want to scream, to do the same to myself until there’s nothing left to cut. Just dust, the same as Dad, together where we belong. Just two brain-sick fucks out to hurt the same person.

This time I do push past Elly, taking the stairs two at a time. Haz’s room is empty, the door open. I force my way into Tilda’s, barely acknowledging her wide-eyed look of surprise as I set about ransacking her room.

‘What the hell are you doing? Nic?’

I ignore her. She’s dressed now, her room smelling of baby wipes, cleansed of what she and Haz had done.

‘Nic!’

I unearth a clear, plastic washbag in a drawer and unzip it, the sound of makeup brushes and hairclips clattering as I rummage around. I find a pair of nail scissors, heart pounding with satisfaction as I straddle her on the bed, scissors held aloft.

She cowers back, trapped between the clamp of my knees. ‘What are you doing?’

I grab one of her hands, grunting when she yanks it back. Grasping more firmly, I pull it towards me. ‘Stay still or I’ll cut you.’

She’s poised to bolt, watching with flitting eyes as I cut the first nail.

‘Nic, no, I’ve just grown them out!’

I snort. Is she fucking serious right now? I clutch her hand hard, preparing for her to fight.