Page 15 of Vying Girls (Girls of Hazelhurst #2)

Haz

Gym’s rammed. I close my eyes, killing one sense to concentrate on the grind of metal and the ache in my muscles as I pull on the bar overhead.

People have been waiting for this machine for a while, but they’ll have to wait some more. It’s my favourite, at least for this sesh, affording me a view of Tilda getting her gains across the way.

Can tell Varsity’s looming. They’re like those fuckers who only go to church on Easter and Christmas. Only worse because they smell of BO, not incense, and there’s no silent time for reflection. They don’t shut up, especially the sports girls.

Take me back to New Year when we had the place to ourselves.

Wouldn’t have minded them last year, would have feasted on it, but this year, only girl I’ve got my eye on is on the treadmill opposite. Don’t need to have my eyes open to see her tight little ass encased in those shiny black leggings.

Tilda.

I draw in a deep breath, pulling hard on the bar. My muscles scream. They’re tight as hell. Need to chill or I’ll be in a world of pain tomorrow.

Only thing that helps when I’m going out of my mind with her.

Never figured myself for a pussy, but here I am, Tilda dangling a fucking carrot every day and me pretending not to see it. Pissing us both off.

I crack my eyes open, making sure she’s still there. Yep. Off the treadmill now, fiddling with the music on her phone.

‘Hey.’

I drag my eyes to the left. Some girl stands there in a powder blue two-piece, camel toeing her to fuck.

‘Yeah?’ I grasp the bar and pull it down. ‘I’m not done yet.’

‘No, that’s cool. Not here for that.’

Okay? Spit it the fuck out then.

‘You’ve got mad muscles,’ she says. ‘Never seen that on a girl. Like, proper roidy.’

I frown. Like I’d take that shit.

‘How’d you get them like that?’

‘Definitely not standing around talking like this.’

She chuckles, a hint of awkwardness in it. Fucking fawner.

I smile when I catch eyes with Tilda. She doesn’t crack one back, but walks over instead, plonking herself right in my lap.

Like magic, the other girl disappears.

‘Hey, princess. Marking your territory?’ I circle my arms around her, pulling her tighter against me. ‘Piss on me if you like.’

Tilda scrunches her nose. ‘Something tells me you’d actually hate that.’

Playing with my hair, she looks around, something possessive in her gaze. I grin, juggling her on my knee. My little green-eyed monster. Fucking love it.

‘Good workout?’

She huffs. ‘Yeah. Until Nic showed up.’

She searches the gym again, something different in her face now.

I roll my eyes. ‘Leave your shit at the door. Gym’s not the place.’

‘I know.’ She turns back, leaving a little kiss on my nose. ‘That’s why I’m here. Keeping out of trouble.’

‘You come to me to keep out of trouble?’ I chortle. ‘Na?ve little girl.’

‘Dunno. You’ve been on your best behaviour recently.’

I nod cautiously. I know what she’s getting at. Fucking screwing me all up too. I run my hands down her hips, comforting her or me, I don’t know.

Gym’s not really the place for this, but we’re saved anyway when Elly’s ass shows up.

‘Hey, dudes.’ She peers round, fluffing out that hair of hers. ‘Packed in here today.’

I grunt. Don’t I fucking know it.

She looks cosy in joggers and a hoodie. Doesn’t even have a water bottle. Just gonna do what she usually does, I bet, spotting me or following Tilda around like a lost puppy.

Can’t lie and say I don’t appreciate the company.

Tilda stands up and kisses her. I smother a smile when I see that girl from before watching. Wonder what she thinks of that.

‘I’m getting chilly,’ Tilda says. ‘Gonna keep going.’

I watch her go, shaking my head when I catch Elly doing the same. Can literally see the love hearts haloing around our heads.

Finally had my fill of the machine, I wipe down the seat, taking my shit to a blessedly empty bench in the corner. Elly follows, flicking my towel away so she can sit.

‘You actually gonna do anything today?’

‘Dunno.’ She rests against the stone wall, spreading out her legs. ‘Haven’t decided yet.’

I shake my head as I suck down water. ‘Why do you even bother?’

‘Got FOMO, didn’t I? Was missing my pals.’

‘Missing these babies, were ya?’ I flex my aching arms. They’re looking pretty good. Like I’ve stuffed rocks in them. Veiny rocks. Roidy, like that girl said.

‘Course. You know I can’t spend an hour without them.’

She’s not even looking at them, little traitor, eyes solely on Tilda on the other side of the gym.

Nic’s over there too. For two people who hate each other so much, they sure know how to orbit each other. Except it’s not an orbit now, but an all-out collision.

They’re way too far to make out what they’re saying but Nic’s got her knickers in a twist over something. Tilda’s looking up at her, something beseeching in her gaze, but Nic’s not having any of it.

Whatever it is.

I squint my eyes, as though that might make me see the situation better. What the fuck is their deal?

Then I forget to care when Nic shoots out a hand and grabs Tilda’s wrist.

‘Nope.’ I slam my water bottle down. ‘Don’t like that.’

‘Bro, just leave them to it.’ Elly grabs my arm when I get to my feet. ‘Let them sort their shit out.’

I lower back down reluctantly. ‘Doesn’t look like they’re sorting anything. It’s like they’re having a lover’s fucking tiff.’

Elly snorts but I don’t find it funny. Pisses me off when she won’t tell me. I thought we were closer than that. Trauma dumping was how we bonded in the first place. An unbreakable type, I thought, like those contraptions that hurt if one of you tries pulling away.

Tilda’s fucking great, don’t regret bringing her onboard for a second, but I’m missing my girl. She’s been distant ever since, always with those accusing eyes like I’ve deliberately gone out my way to betray her.

I spread my palms in frustration. ‘Don’t you ever wonder?’

‘About her and Nic? Used to. But she won’t tell us, so.’

They’re back to ignoring each other now. Nic’s taken possession of a treadmill whilst Tilda’s on a rower. Not rowing though, just sat there looking lost.

‘Do you think they’ve fucked?’

Elly laughs. ‘No, pal. I don’t.’

‘Something could have happened the other night.’ Because it’s the only thing that makes any fucking sense.

‘Anarchy night?’

‘Yeah. Afterwards. Pretty sure they shared a bed.’

‘Bet that was cosy.’

‘That’s what I mean.’

‘Haz, this has all been going on a lot longer than that.’

Slamming back against the wall, I fold my arms. ‘Well, I don’t know then.’

‘That’s fine,’ Elly says serenely. ‘It’s between them, isn’t it?’

I narrow my eyes at her. ‘Thought Tilda was your girl? You’re fine with someone upsetting her?’

‘It’s not just someone, though, is it? It’s Nic. Nic’s got issues, but she’s cool. I trust her not to take it too far.’

‘Wouldn’t be saying that if you knew her for as long as I have.’ I watch her move those skinny legs on the treadmill. ‘She’s got a real self-destructive streak. Leaks to other people sometimes. Thought we’d put it to bed for a bit, but I dunno.’

‘That’s what I worry about more than this thing with Tilda. The drugs. The beating up trees until she’s legit bleeding.’

‘But that’s all because of Tilda though.’

Elly hums, conceding my point.

‘We’ll keep an eye on it,’ she says, slapping me on the leg. She keeps her hand there until I look at her. ‘Kind of wanted to talk to you about something.’

‘Ah.’ I shift away from her touch. ‘So that’s your agenda for coming here.’

She grins unrepentantly. ‘Maybe.’

‘What’s up?’

‘You. Tilda. Why won’t you fuck her?’

I sigh, briefly closing my eyes. ‘She come crying to you?’

‘She’s just confused. And frankly, so am I. I mean, it’s totally cool if you don’t want sex. No one should be pushed into sex. It’s just—well, shit—up until now, it’s been you doing the pushing. You gone off her or something?’

‘No.’ I hit my head on the wall, damning this whole thing. Literally feel my skin crawling talking about it. And here I thought Nic was the shit communicator.

‘What’s up? Talk to me, bro. Don’t be a Nic.’

I half smile at our similar thoughts. ‘It’s just—it’s Tilda, man.’ I spread my hands to emphasise. ‘Fucking Tilda.’

‘Yeah, dude, I know. I don’t want to fuck it up either.’

‘It’s not just that.’ I release a breath, trying to organise the chaotic mess in my head. ‘I liked it when it was just a game. I like games. No cheating or leading anyone on or any of that shit, but—I mean, come on, you know how I’ve always been.’

‘Sure. Fuck and chuck but as long as they’ve read the T&Cs.’

‘Well, shit, sorry for having some morals.’

‘Debatable, that.’

‘Whatever. So, Tilda comes along. Pretty. Hot. Straight as the day is long.’

‘Safe,’ Elly says, and bless her for getting what I’m trying to say right away.

‘Yeah. Safe. A fun bet. Maybe a dicking down if we’re lucky. Just to shut us up.’

‘And then you caught feelings,’ she sings, making me want to deck her one.

I fidget on the bench, anger brewing under my skin.

That’s not even half of it. Yeah, I’ve got feelings. Feelings like I want to grab tight to Tilda and never let go, that scary sensation of wanting to squeeze her so fucking tight that we both break. The constant fear that I’m going to do something to fuck it all up.

Except that’s not just it either. It’s the fear of not doing something and still fucking up. That just being with me isn’t enough. Or it’s too much, scaring her off completely.

Sex with Tilda… It wouldn’t just be a fun slapping of bodies, both of us getting our rocks off. It would be something all-consuming. Irreversible. There would be no going back.

At least not for me.

And until I’m sure she’s ready for all of that, for all that I am, I just fucking can’t.

To Elly, I simply say, ‘I just don’t think she’d like sex with me. Don’t think I could control myself.’

Elly looks at me. ‘You’d hurt her?’

‘No.’ I purse my lips. ‘Maybe. If she wanted. I more mean I just wouldn’t hold back. Couldn’t.’

‘And, what, you think she wouldn’t like that?’

‘That’s what I’m asking myself. What if, afterwards, you know? She decides she doesn’t want it. Doesn’t want me.’

Elly continues staring, chest heaving with suppressed laughter. It comes out as a raspberry she tries unsuccessfully to smother. ‘Fucking hell, Haz.’

Rolling my eyes, I push her away. ‘Piss off.’

‘Didn’t know you had it in you.’

‘Yeah.’ I sigh, wearily scrubbing my face. ‘Me neither.’

‘You know what I think? I think you’re overthinking everything.

Never thought I’d say that about you, but maybe that’s what Tilda sees in you.

She does that too. Needs some reassurance every now and then.

Which I’m happy to give. Just play it by ear, Haz.

Literally no need to rush.’ A sly smile comes to her face.

‘Besides, the buildup will be worth it. She’s so hot, man. The sounds she makes.’

‘I know what sounds she fucking makes.’

Elly’s eyes turn accusing. ‘Yeah, she told me about those pervy nights of yours. She, um, also asked about us sharing the other day.’

‘Uh-huh.’

‘Up for it if we are. At some point.’

I give a tight nod. Dangerous visual when she’s just over there, ass splayed over a bench, and my body still pulsing from my workout.

We could take her to the showers right now, force her over the bench and give her exactly what she wants from us.

I hold that image for as long as I can, pushing out the thoughts that inevitably follow.

This self-discovery shit is hard. Feel like all my former therapists are laughing at me right now. Guess the stuff they taught me went in after all.

‘I’m having her tonight,’ I say quietly.

‘But it’s Tuesday,’ Elly protests.

‘Tough shit. I’m having her.’

Elly groans. ‘But…’

‘But what?’

‘Was just looking forward to it, that’s all. She’s…well, she touches me now.’

‘About fucking time.’ I glance at her. ‘Good then?’

Elly lets out a slow breath through her nose. ‘Magic tongue, I swear. That first night—really wasn’t expecting that. Think our girl might be a secret top.’

I scoff. ‘Not on my watch.’

‘Yeah, well, be fucking stalemate with you, wouldn’t it. You never let anyone touch you.’

‘I do,’ I grouse. ‘I’d let her.’

‘So let her.’

‘Get off my back, man.’ I spring up from the bench. ‘Go jump on a machine or something. I’m sick to fuck of you.’

Elly grins, slapping me on the shoulder and wandering off to do just that.

I exit the gym before anyone else flags me down. I need some chilly spring air to cool me off—and I need to calm down before I get a certain green-eyed girl in my bed.