Page 60 of Vying Girls (Girls of Hazelhurst #2)

‘I’m so tired of fighting her,’ I whisper. ‘She just feels so far away from me. Like I’ll never get her back.’

‘I have hope. She’s seemed different lately. With you. And like, haven’t you two kissed?’

‘Bit more than that.’

‘Oh, really?’ Elly leans away, an uncertain smile on her face. ‘That’s kind of mega.’

I nod slowly. ‘Is that okay?’

She raises her eyebrows. ‘Yeah. I mean…yeah. Isn’t that good?’

‘Dunno. Is it?’

She lets out a laugh. ‘Well, I’m confused now. It’s all good with me anyway. I’d rather her fucking you than fighting you.’

‘Oh my god, me too.’ I wrap my arms around her, squeezing her hard. ‘I am sooooooo done with the fighting.’

She chuckles, pressing a few kisses to my head. ‘It’ll all be okay. I’ve got a vibe about all this.’

‘Yeah. Elly’s got a vibe?’

She nods firmly. ‘Just give it time. Might have to invest in a bigger bed though. Can’t all fit into mine.’

‘Hmm, something tells me Nic isn’t the bed sharing type.’

‘Tough. If we’re sharing the girl, we’re sharing the bed.’

‘We need a bed roster. Like with chores.’

She snorts, disentangling from me. ‘I’ll leave that to you. When the time comes. In the meantime, do you fancy putting a film on downstairs or something? Just to chill out for a bit.’

‘How about up here?’ Rising onto my tiptoes, I peck her lips. ‘In your bed.’

Elly grins. ‘Deal.’

Elly

It’s hard to keep my mind on the film with Tilda fidgeting beside me, her restlessness manifesting as sighs and shifts and the odd frustrated huff.

She’s on her phone constantly, a little furrow in her brow, fingers flying a hundred miles an hour.

Even when I made a joke about how quick her fingers are, they never slowed for a second, only a tiny smile showing she heard me.

I just carry on what I’m doing—offering her a body to cuddle into, with forehead kisses when she wants them.

Since dinner’s postponed, we’ve got a few light snacks fanned around us. I shove in a handful of crisps just as Tilda lets out a disgruntled snort.

‘I just found Skylar and asked her why she told Haz. She said ‘Fucker was ignoring my messages’ . Like, what the hell? She’s such a shit friend.’

‘Don’t think Nic keeps her around for friendship.’

Tilda shakes her head in disgust. ‘And you’ve slept with her.’

‘Hey, that was one time. And without sounding like a massive pig, she makes a better lay than friend.’

‘Clearly,’ Tilda snaps.

I don’t take her snappishness personally. Her anger isn’t aimed at me. Truthfully, I’m a little angry with Skylar too. According to Tilda, it was her stuff Nic was on. And it was probably her stuff Nic was on the last time.

‘Haz is on her way home,’ Tilda says glumly. ‘She didn’t find her.’

‘Well, shit. Now what?’

‘Now nothing, I guess.’ She tosses her phone away. ‘Just have to wait for her to calm down and come back on her own.’

‘Like a sick cat,’ I supply. Probably really unhelpfully.

I glance at Tilda. She’s staring at the laptop screen, but her eyes are totally unfocussed. She looks knackered. End of her rope. It sucks to see.

‘Hey.’ I give her a nudge. ‘Shall I make us some hot choccies?’

A smile comes to her face, her eyes lighting up for the first time all evening. ‘Do we have marshmallows?’

‘Bet we do.’ I slide off the bed. ‘Back of the cupboard somewhere, probably years out of date.’

‘Perfect. My favourite type.’

I flick on the light in the kitchen, the evening darkening quickly. Bloody miserable weather for this time of year, but at least the rain seems to have stopped.

It’s only with the white noise of the kettle boiling, down here away from anyone, that I’m able to think over this whole thing with Nic and Tilda.

I meant what I said, that fucking is way more preferable than fighting. I’m seeing the toll it’s taken on Tilda, pretty much since day one of moving in here. She’s the type to get upset when she knows she’s upsetting someone else, even if she’s not done anything wrong to cause it.

What’s worse is that she’s also the type to believe she’s the problem. It’s like she hunts for the blame, using it to make her feel bad about herself. Dunno, maybe it’s a fucked-up form of mental self-harm for her.

And knowing what I do now, it’s hard not to be even more pissed at Nic.

I’m not as bad as Haz, I can’t dig deep enough for that kind of anger, but it wears on me too.

I hate picking sides, and maybe I’m just biased because Tilda’s my world, but this whole time, I’m pretty sure Nic’s been the one in the wrong.

So yeah, fucking over fighting any day.

Might change things though. I dump some hot chocolate powder into mugs, a teaspoon more than the instructions ask for, and stir them absentmindedly.

It’s also been me and Haz in this whole thing.

Me, Haz and Tilda. I’ve never shared a girl before, didn’t think I had it in me to be honest, but Tilda seems to slot in perfectly between us.

Will Nic unbalance that? I give a snort to that question, because I suppose she already has. I know what me and Haz bring to Tilda. She tells us often enough what we both do for her. But what does Nic do for her?

It could be more than the two of us put together, more than I can ever imagine. I know dribs and drabs of their history, mostly the bad stuff, but it obviously runs deep. You can’t hate as much as Nic does without once loving just as much. Maybe she’s just the final piece to Tilda’s puzzle.

Happy enough with that conclusion, I lick off the teaspoon before lobbing it into the sink. Above me, Tilda shouts my name.

‘Yeah?’ I call, tipping my head towards the ceiling.

‘Your Nan’s ringing you!’

‘Oh. Could you answer it?’

I don’t hear her reply over the opening of the front door. Haz comes in, her exposed skin dewy with rain. She doesn’t look happy.

‘Didn’t find her then?’

She shakes her head with a disgusted sigh.

‘Nope.’ She pulls her sodden tank hoodie over her head, leaving her in a sports bra. ‘Couldn’t find her tent. But whatever. Let her have another heart attack with no one around.’

I pull the hot chocolates towards me. ‘I mean, you could have spoken to her before going to her hockey coach. Did you want her to get kicked of Varsity? You know she’s obsessed with it.’

Haz sighs again, this one sounding more defeated. ‘Yeah. Maybe I fucked up. But shit, Elly! We’re back fucking here again.’

‘I know. It sucks.’ I shift the mugs in my hands. ‘I gotta run these upstairs. We’re just in my room.’

I leave her to strip off the rest of her wet clothes. Tilda looks up when I return, something in her expression giving me pause.

‘Yeah, she’s just here.’ She hands over the phone.

I press it to my ear with a frown. ‘Hey.’

‘Hiya, love,’ comes Nan’s weary voice, ‘You okay? Look, I’m just up the hospital with your grandad.’

I lower onto the edge of the bed, that familiar sinking feeling pummelling me.

Because it’s always something bad. Always.

‘His bag’s clogged again and they’re saying he’s incredibly dehydrated, since he’s not being drinking with all his incontinence.’

‘But I sent him those hydration jelly things.’

‘I know you did, love. It’s just got that bad. But it’s causing issues with the blockage.’

She stops talking, something in the silence telling me that this isn’t going to be a quick fix like all the other times.

I shift on the bed, feeling Tilda’s arms creep around me, holding all the panic in. ‘So, what’s the plan?’

‘To get him hydrated, to see if that unblocks his bowel. He’s on this ward. Oh, Elly. It’s so busy, no privacy. It’s a general surgery ward but they’re saying he’s too fragile for surgery. They’ve got him on fluids and a tube since he can’t eat.’

‘Shit. Bet he hates that. How’s he doing? How’s he taking it? Is he, you know, alert and stuff?’

‘He’s fed up,’ Nan answers after a pause. I can tell she’s holding something back and not hearing it is worse than whatever it might be.

I glance at the clock, not really seeing it as I say, ‘I’ll jump on the ferry. Might take me a while but I’ll come home as quickly as I can. Are there visiting hours?’

‘Yeah, but they’re making an exception for us.’

I don’t ask why. I don’t want to hear it.

‘Okay,’ I say quietly. ‘Quick as I can, okay?’

I wait for her to hang up, my eyes falling closed with the exhaustion of it all, the break that never seems to last long enough for everything inside to recover.

Tilda tightens her arms, not saying anything, just giving me a minute.

I toss my phone onto the bed with a sigh. ‘Well, shit.’

‘They’re closing the ferry tonight,’ Tilda murmurs.

‘What?’

‘Because of the weather.’

‘Shit.’ I retrieve my phone. Tilda sits beside me, head on my shoulder, as I find the app that provides ferry updates.

‘Yeah. Last one today in about half an hour. Except for emergencies.’ I tug at my hair mindlessly, staring at the blinking ferry icon on the screen. ‘Would this count as an emergency?’

Tilda stands up. ‘We can make it. Come on.’

‘No, babe. You don’t have to.’

She just folds her arms, staring at me in silence. I feel my nose stinging at the memory of another time she did this, offering her support so unwaveringly.

I stand up sluggishly. ‘Alright. What about Nic?’

‘Haz can deal with her. Her mess.’ She glances at the door just as Haz walks in. ‘We’re getting the ferry in a mo. Elly’s grandad…’ She trails off, looking at me.

‘He’s in hospital,’ I supply. ‘Kinda bad but hopefully it’ll be fine. But we gotta go now.’

Haz nods. ‘Fine. Sorry, man, that sucks. But yeah, I’ll deal with Nic. I’ll keep trying her phone. Fuck going out again.’ She pulls Tilda in, giving her a kiss, then claps me on the shoulder. ‘Go on. I’ll hold down the fort.’