Page 61
Story: Volcano of Pain
59
THERE'S A FIRST TIME FOR EVERYTHING BUT THIS IS NOT ONE
T he Next Day
He’s in jail. Jail . It feels surreal, like I’ve been dropped into someone else’s life. I’ve never had a partner in jail before. I don’t think I’ve known anyone who’s been in jail, actually. And because Timmy has been glued to my side since I arrived in Sunset Cay—my only real connection here—his absence is deafening. It’s as if the air has been sucked out of the apartment, leaving behind only a hollow silence.
The charges are domestic violence and ‘terroristic threats’, a fancy legal term for ‘he told me he was going to kill me’.
I sit on the mattress, surrounded by the wreckage of what was supposed to be my fresh start, trying to piece together how things escalated to this point. How we went from sharing laughs, dreams, and late-night movies to him wielding a hammer and smashing everything in sight, threatening to slit my throat.
The top of the toilet tank is shattered, porcelain shards scattered across the bathroom floor like jagged teeth. I step carefully over them, the absurdity of it all sinking in. Who smashes a toilet? What message was he sending, and to whom?
Out on the balcony, I find the remains of the potted plant—the one he insisted was special, sacred, even—the gift from Darren’s now-deceased mom, something he cherished. And yet, here it lies in pieces, dirt spilled across the tiles, the pot obliterated by the same hammer he held over my head, the one he promised to use to end my life.
I notice the pink-handled hammer resting on the floor, and the sight of it makes me shiver. It looks so innocent—something you’d pick up at a craft store, not intended for use as a murder weapon.
But now it’s tainted, just like everything else in this place.
It holds the weight of everything that happened last night, a symbol of what he could have done. What he almost did.
The second deer antler—the one he didn’t use as a weapon—lies on the floor, discarded. The sight of it turns my stomach, and I wrap it in a plastic trash bag with trembling hands. Carrying it down the hallway to the trash chute, I fight the urge to vomit. It feels radioactive, like it’s still buzzing with the malice he injected into it.
When I return, I glance around the wreckage and wonder how this became my life. I moved to this Cay for peace, for creativity, to write books and live quietly. Not to be threatened, attacked, and left in the ruins of a brand-new apartment.
The police took the other antler, and apparently his bone necklace, too.
“We thought it was a human spine at first,” one officer said when taking my statement, shaking his head. A human spine , just like Paulo joked about when I shared Timmy’s Tinder profile. I shiver again. What kind of person collects such things? It sounds like something ripped from a horror movie, the same kind Timmy loves.
And now he’s in jail. Charged. Arrested. Gone . But not for long, apparently. The officers were clear about that—he’ll likely be released in a few days. I try to wrap my head around what that means. What happens when he gets out? Will he come back, angrier than before? Will I have to move again? Will I need to watch my back every time I leave the building?
The cops warned me when they came back this morning to deliver some more paperwork, including a stay-away notice that prevents him from coming back here. “He’s banned from this building,” one of the officers explained. “If he comes back, even through the service elevator, we’ll know. There are cameras everywhere. He can’t come within 100 yards of the building or contact you for 72 hours after his release. Not by phone, not by email—nothing.”
I nod, clutching the papers. “Okay,” I whisper.
“And listen,” he’d added gently. “That doesn’t mean you should contact him once the 72 hours are up. I know there’s been physical injuries as well as property damage here, but it’s the emotional scars that leave the deepest wounds. Don’t let him back in. And,” he adds, “don’t be tempted to try to sneak him up in the elevators via the marketplace downstairs. There are tons of cameras here, and we’ll know.”
It’s odd, receiving therapy advice from a cop, but I know he’s right.
Yet part of me still wonders if I’m making a big deal out of this.
Maybe I overreacted. Maybe it wasn’t as bad as I thought. Maybe…
But then I remember the hammer, the antlers, the promises to kill me. I remember how his face twisted with rage, how his voice dropped into something terrifying and unrecognizable.
No. I didn’t overreact. This was real.
I sit on the mattress, staring at the little yellow card with domestic violence resources printed on it. I can’t bring myself to throw it away, but I also can’t bring myself to call any of the numbers. Instead, I leave it on the kitchen counter, in plain sight, as a reminder. Every time I glance at it, a wave of shame rolls over me. I want to shove it deep inside a drawer, pretend this never happened, but I need it there. I need to see it. To remind myself that what happened was real, and that I’m not crazy.
I still don’t know what to do next. Should I move? Should I tell someone? How do I even begin to explain this to the people back home? Hey, just wanted to let you know my fiancé tried to kill me with a deer antler and a pink-handled hammer. But I’m okay now, thanks for asking .
It feels too big, too strange, too surreal to say out loud. And so I sit with it, letting the weight of it settle into my bones.
I grab my phone, scrolling aimlessly, and then fixating on the latest text from his boss.
His boss:
He’s not going to change. He’s done this before.
The words rattle around in my brain, making everything feel heavier. He’s done this before . And I thought I was special. I thought I was the one who could fix him, who could be his safe place. But I was wrong, although to be fair, I had no idea what he was capable of.
I pour myself a glass of whiskey, the amber liquid burning as it slides down my throat. I follow it with the hard seltzer, hoping the buzz will numb the tangled mess of emotions inside me. But nothing can dull the gnawing fear in my gut—the fear of what happens next.
Will he call me when he gets out? Will I answer? Will I want to?
I sit on the mattress, the wreckage of my life scattered around me, and let the silence wrap around me like a suffocating blanket. For now, I am alone. For now, I am safe. But I know the clock is ticking.
And I have no idea what tomorrow will bring.
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 44
- Page 45
- Page 46
- Page 47
- Page 48
- Page 49
- Page 50
- Page 51
- Page 52
- Page 53
- Page 54
- Page 55
- Page 56
- Page 57
- Page 58
- Page 59
- Page 60
- Page 61 (Reading here)
- Page 62
- Page 63
- Page 64
- Page 65
- Page 66
- Page 67
- Page 68
- Page 69
- Page 70
- Page 71
- Page 72
- Page 73
- Page 74
- Page 75
- Page 76
- Page 77
- Page 78
- Page 79
- Page 80
- Page 81
- Page 82
- Page 83
- Page 84
- Page 85
- Page 86
- Page 87
- Page 88
- Page 89
- Page 90
- Page 91
- Page 92
- Page 93
- Page 94
- Page 95
- Page 96
- Page 97
- Page 98
- Page 99
- Page 100
- Page 101
- Page 102
- Page 103
- Page 104
- Page 105
- Page 106
- Page 107
- Page 108
- Page 109
- Page 110
- Page 111
- Page 112
- Page 113
- Page 114
- Page 115
- Page 116
- Page 117
- Page 118
- Page 119
- Page 120
- Page 121
- Page 122
- Page 123
- Page 124
- Page 125
- Page 126
- Page 127