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WELL THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY

“ I want to take you to the botanical gardens,” Timmy announces. “You’re going to love it! It’s very Jurassic Park-like, with the mountains in the background. And there’s this beautiful lake.”

“That sounds amazing!” I enjoy how excited Timmy gets around plants.

“Yeah, I love it there. I think you’ll enjoy it, too. It’s filled with all of my favorite native plants, and there are birds and stuff as well. I can show you all the wild ginger and palm trees I’ve been talking about. Succulents and so on. I can’t wait to take you! We can have a picnic!”

When we show up, it’s stunning, just like he promised. Lush vegetation sprinkled with vibrant, tropical flowers. The unique mountain-scape looms in the background. I really do feel like I’m in a scene from Jurassic Park. There are more common plants like giant monsteras and plumeria, and other exotic ones I’ve never seen before.

“I’m going to call my dad,” he suddenly says. “I want you two to meet. He’s really important to me.”

His dad, being a retired, decorated general in the army, is somehow a comfort to me, a bit like his friendship with Steve .

Someone who got to where he did in his military career, and his impressive corporate career following his military service as a VP for a pharmaceutical company, indicates there’s something genetic in his makeup that makes Timmy also capable of being a productive human.

Sure, he has one sister and one brother, both with significant drug and anger management issues, but he also has a brother who has his shit together, too. So it’s a theoretical possibility that he could ‘turn out well,’ I guess you could say.

Wow, this is feeling serious. An introduction to the parents already.

“Hello son,” says an older man’s voice on speakerphone.

“Hey dad,” Timmy smiles. “I want you to meet someone. Margaux, this is my dad. Dad, this is my girlfriend, Margaux.”

“Hi, Timmy’s dad,” I say, feeling nervous. “Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too,” says the voice. “Now son, girlfriend, you say?”

“Yes! We just met recently and we’ve fallen in love. Margaux is from New Zealand, and we have so much in common. And she takes care of me.” He’s bubbling with excitement, and I feel myself blushing.

“Well, son, you certainly need that,” his father replies. “Someone to take care of you.” There’s no humor in his voice.

The comment unsettles me a little. Timmy's about to turn forty, and I’m his girlfriend, not his babysitter.

“And guess what? She writes, dad! She’s a professional writer, and she writes dark romance, but I tease her and call it pornography. I’m in love with a pornographer!”

“Oh my god—” I feel my face burn beet red.

“Oh, haha, that’s nice, son. What are the books called?”

“Oh my god,” I say again, putting a hand over my face. This is just what I need, unexpectedly meeting my boyfriend’s father over the phone, and him telling him all about my smutty dark romance books. Oy !

We hang up after a few more minutes of chatting, and find a cute spot down by the water, a little bench in front of the lake.

Timmy suddenly gets super excited, even more than normal. He’s just about bouncing on his toes. “I’m going to propose to you to create a scene, okay? Everyone will be looking!”

“Huh? What do you mean?” I’m beyond confused.

“Just trust me. I’m going to get down on one knee and ask you to marry me. And everyone around us is going to be like ‘ooooh aaaah’ and it’s going to be so fun. They might even take pictures of us and put them online.”

I quirk a brow at him.

“Just for fun,” he says casually. “Nothing serious.”

I crack up laughing. “You’re quite ridiculous, but okay.”

He does as he promised. Drops to one knee and asks me to marry him. “The thing is, Margaux,” he adds, “I’m not joking. I’ve never met anybody I love more. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I really do believe you’re my soulmate, and I’ve thought so from the moment I first saw you, and even from the moment we first spoke. I’ve never met anyone like you. It’s like you were made for me. So please do me the honor of marrying me. Please say yes. I’ll protect you and keep you safe, and we’ll build our dream life together. You’re an incredible human being. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. I’ve never proposed to anyone before. But you’re so special—you’re beautiful, you’re funny, you’re creative, you’re sexy, you’re extremely smart. You write pornography! And I want to be with you forever. Nobody else. Just you and me, together. You make me into a better person, the best version of myself I’ve ever been. I’m a changed man, and you’ve tamed the dragon that nobody else has ever been able to do. I want to travel the world with you. I want to take the world by storm with our companies. I want to eat your pussy every day for the rest of my life. I promise you I’ll do it every single day.” He glances over at the two mongooses who are watching us and nibbling on the sausage he threw to them just before. “And with these mongooses as my witness, I am asking you, the love of my life, will you please do me the honor of marrying me? ”

“Um… wow,” I say, a tear falling down my cheek. I’m crying and laughing at the same time. “Are you serious, or is this part of the act? Because that was quite the speech.” I’m so thrown. I don’t know what is happening.

“Oh, I’m very serious,” he says, his face reflecting his earnestness. “Deadly. I really want us to be together. Why do you think I called my dad just a little bit ago? I wanted him to hear your voice before I asked you. Kind of like getting his blessing to make it official. That’s how important you are to me. I never want to hurt you, Marg. I want us—you and me—forever.”

“Wow,” I whisper, touched and also shocked. This is all happening very fast, but sometimes you just know when things feel right. And I’m feeling all the butterflies, and I’m a little lightheaded and tingly.

I take a deep breath, and he looks at me expectantly. “Well, in that case… my time with you has been amazing so far. So… yes.”

I’m swept away by the emotions. I still can’t even tell if he’s joking. But I feel like it would be rude to say no. I can go along with it now, and we’ll figure things out later.

We both glance at each other, and it’s as if he’s trying to decide if I’m joking or for real, too.

“You mean it?” he asks. “You really want to marry me?”

“Did you mean to ask me for real?” I ask. “Or was it a joke, a stunt, like you originally said it would be?”

“Yes,” he laughs, tears in his eyes. “Margaux, I know it hasn’t been long, but I love you so much. We’re connected at a soul level, and there’s nobody else I want to spend the rest of my time on this earth with. You’re it for me. I’ll never find anyone like you again.”

“Okay, then I’m serious, too. I love you,” I smile at him.

He leans down to kiss me. “I love you so much, too, my soulmate. My fiancée.”

He turns around. There are a couple of people sitting nearby on a bench, and he waves at them. “She said yes!” They wave back, smiling .

A park ranger happens by and he tells them the same thing. “Congratulations,” he nods and smiles.

He turns to the mongooses. “We did it! She said yes.”

I laugh, so confused by what just happened, although I think… we just got engaged.

After about a week of knowing each other.

It’s very quick, but everything has been going so well, so quickly. How could I possibly say anything but yes?