Page 62 of Volatile King (The Kings of Wayward Academy #6)

“I’ll put this the same way it was told to me years ago.

It is not having darkness inside of you that defines who you are.

It’s how you embrace it. What you need to understand is that we are not all good and we are not all evil.

Your desire to crush a threat, regardless of the circumstances, is possessiveness and self-preservation.

But you chose not to act on those emotions and not to abuse the power others easily would have…

now that is real strength. You may yet have to order her removal, but you are benevolent enough to know that last night was not the time.

You are fair and understanding, even when tested. ”

The guys walked into view, standing just off the deck, waiting for the final women’s medley to finish. I’d only really watched them compete all day. I was aware of the other races, but my mind was elsewhere, deep in thought.

Nash looked up at me, and he seemed dejected. Like he wasn’t just carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, it was crushing him.

Giving him a little smile, I signed. You’ve got this . He stood up straighter, and his eyes hardened with resolve.

“And once more you prove me right.” I looked up at Eddie and so badly wanted to call him Dad all the time. But it still felt wrong with Neal missing. Like I was betraying who he had been to me for years.

“Nash has a child with another woman. Many would’ve marched out the door and not looked back. But here you are giving him strength when he needs it.”

Doesn’t that make me weak?

“Why? Do you think Nash did this to hurt you?” I shook my head no. “Then tell me, why would you punish him?”

I wouldn’t. I’m not.

“I know, that’s what I mean. You’ll be tested, and each situation will require a different response. There will always be many factors to consider. Let me put it another way. What is the difference between me and Lawrence, or Christov, or even the late Owen?”

You’re not insane.

He laughed hard and wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

“Okay, that’s also true, but…they choose to roll around like pigs in slop with sin, where I prefer to stand at the fence, watching and not letting my darkness out to play unless it’s needed.”

There was so much warmth when he looked at me that I felt tears pricking at my eyes. He had more kindness and compassion in his baby finger than others had in their whole bodies, and yet he would still order someone’s death. It astounded me.

“Break down all that Lawrence has done, and you will see that he has fallen into the same trap as millions before him, and millions yet to come. I strived to be the best, to be wealthy, to be powerful. Would you say that makes me greedy?” I shook my head.

“Why? Lawrence wants all the same things. We are similar in that way. In fact, he wants what I have, just as I wanted what my father and the Don of Dons before me had. So, tell me, what is the difference?”

I really thought about them and separated the wants and needs from their actions. That was what made them different.

Lawrence wants the power to cause pain and push others down.

To step on them as he continues to rise.

He wants others to do his bidding, like a king, and punishes them for pleasure because their pain makes him feel strong.

I don’t see anything like that in you. Not with all these men, not with the generosity you have shown Nash, not in how you dealt with Mum and me.

“You’re right. It’s not the sin that is the issue. It’s how we embrace and exert it. You feel envy and wrath toward a threat…it’s understandable. Choosing not to act…choosing to wait and see who and what Mya really is…shows character. Understand?”

Yes, I think I do.

“They’re coming out, they’re coming out,” Ivy squealed from beside me as she bounced up and down. She looked like she had an invisible ball attached to her butt. Every time she landed, I was tossed in the air, my ass smacking hard on the metal bleachers when I came back down.

She was so excited that I couldn’t help but smile at her enthusiasm, but there was no way I was rooting for Sabastian.

Nash said he couldn’t be trusted. I remembered that now, and I believed him.

I wanted to tell Ivy to stay away from him if he was bad news, but Liam was adamant that I not say a word.

He’d said love made us do crazy things, and she was very obviously in love with Sabastian.

I couldn’t argue with that logic. It made me wonder what crazy things I might be capable of doing.

God, they were sexy. I was really starting to appreciate this sport.

They seemed serious and focused on their task as they rotated their arms in circles to warm up.

Theo was back as the anchor instead of Liam.

He bounced on the balls of his feet, my eyes drawn to every square inch of his muscled body.

Theo caught my eye and smirked. Heat flushed my body, knowing that I’d been caught staring.

I cleared my throat and prayed that my dad hadn’t seen that.

Blake, Nash, and Theo stepped up to their lane while Myles got into the pool. Nash looked to his left, and Sabastian glared back at him. Even from the stands, I could feel the animosity rolling off them.

The crowd went deathly silent as the guys prepped themselves and waited for the buzzer.

I held my breath, my heart racing like I was the one about to dive into the water.

I inched closer to the edge of the metal, and when the buzzer sounded, everyone jumped as one, cheering like we’d collectively lost our minds.

Myles and the guy racing from Hawking Shores were in sync.

It was almost like they were purposely staying right beside one another.

I lost sight of them as they did their flip turn at the other end of the pool, but screamed when Myles surfaced.

The rest of the swimmers were just reaching the wall, while Myles and the Hawking Shores guy charged backward through the water, their arms flexing with every graceful stroke.

Ivy grabbed my arm as she cheered, and I gave in and jumped up and down with her. The two of us laughed as we each hoped our man, or men in my case, won.

They reached the wall at the same time, and Blake pushed off the block. He looked so incredibly graceful as he dove in and started his breaststroke. Once again, it was too close as they came back the other way, and just like that, Nash was off.

He and Sabastian sliced through the water, their arms looked like they were carving it away from their bodies rather than swimming.

The way Nash moved amazed me. I could hardly hold my head above the water.

The way he rose and both arms flexed as he surged forward was impressive before you added in the speed and coordination of the complicated stroke.

There was no competition other than Wayward and Hawking Shores. Nash and Sabastian were a full body length ahead, which at one time I thought wasn’t much, but I had since learned that was a huge gap. The tension was getting to me, and I wiped away the sweat beading on my brow.

Halfway on the way back, Nash managed to pull ahead by the length of his hand. It wasn’t much, but it was something. I really wanted them to win. Nash had already lost the individual today, and after last night…after everything, he needed a win.

Theo dove in just before Trey, who I remembered from last year. He’d almost drowned, and Liam saved him. Theo’s arms cut through the water like a man possessed, and maybe he was.

“Go! Go! Go!” Cupping my mouth, I screamed at the top of my lungs. Theo was officially half an arm’s length ahead. The boys screamed for him at the end of the pool, and as his hand touched just before Trey, we all went crazy.

Jumping, I raised my arms into the air. Then the room started to spin, and I stumbled sideways. I looked up at Eddie.

“Dad.”

He grabbed me as I started to fall, and everything went dark.