Page 21 of Volatile King (The Kings of Wayward Academy #6)

R en

It felt incredible to smile and to sit with those who had become my family.

Ella hadn’t just welcomed me into her home—she’d turned it into a celebration.

The house buzzed with warmth and laughter, and I sat curled between Theo and Liam while Myles played a game on the floor with Lip.

Nash lingered off to the side, smiling at the group, while Blake helped Ella in the kitchen.

I nodded or signed a few answers that I knew, but mostly remained silent.

I’d never struggled, not like this. Even in this safe space, surrounded by people who loved me, I was terrified to speak.

Words scattered like pieces of broken glass in my head, and I never knew which sharp edge to avoid if I reached for one.

Liam’s fingers drew slow circles on my shoulder. I leaned into him, craving his calm.

“Myles, that is not how the game is played,” Lip said as I wiped away a tear, but not fast enough for Liam not to notice.

“What’s going on, Little Rabbit?” I shook my head. “Look at me,” he said, his voice soft, but firm.

I met his eyes. He didn’t push me, just searched my face like he could piece together the chaos inside.

“You’re going to get better,” he said.

Glancing back at Lip, I shrugged. He was seven going on eight and could speak more clearly than I could. Liam gently touched under my chin, drawing my gaze back.

“That wasn’t a suggestion or a question. I’m telling you. You will. But you can’t keep beating yourself up or drowning in what-ifs.”

“I…know,” I managed.

“Do you,” he asked. “Because I’ve watched you all night. You’re so focused on what you can’t do that you’re missing what you still have. Something terrible happened, yeah. But you’re alive. And every single person in this room loves you. No matter what.”

My bottom lip trembled. “Scared,” I said and rubbed my hand over my chest. “So…fear. So…fear.” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to relax before trying again. “So much fear.”

When I opened them again, Liam’s whiskey-colored gaze was the only thing that anchored me.

“You would be foolish not to be scared. Any of us would be if roles were reversed. But let me remind you what would happen if it were me, Myles, or anyone else who woke up like this. The first thing you would do would be to make sure that we knew we were loved.” Liam held up his finger as if counting items. “Then you’d give any doctor within earshot a mouthful about us getting the best care.

Then you would find a way to get the best specialists.

Lastly, you’d reassure us every day that you weren’t going anywhere. ”

Liam gripped my chin between his fingers, and the tears flowed freely. There was no holding them back now.

He’d struck a chord. It was easy to be sure of my love. But I kept bracing for the fallout…for the unraveling. Like I was just one more breath away from losing everything again, and I wasn’t sure I’d survive it. My heart had wrapped itself around all of them.

“We aren’t going anywhere,” Liam whispered, and yet I heard him loud and clear.

Covering my mouth, I tried to hold back the tide as my emotions were shaken up. Liam stood and lifted me in his arms. I buried my face, embarrassed that I was falling apart in front of everyone.

“Ren’s had enough for tonight. Which room is hers?”

“I’ll take you,” Theo answered.

My grip around Liam’s neck tightened as he carried me through the house. I kept my eyes closed like that would somehow block it all out. As if that could keep the dark void at bay…the one where memories should’ve been—the one filled with words I no longer knew how to use.

But darkness followed anyway. There was no hiding or running from this monster.

I heard the soft click of a door as Liam stopped walking.

“We’re alone,” he said.

Liam eased me to my feet, but I collapsed to the ground and crawled toward the bed.

Tears and whole-body shakes had taken over, like the pain was trying to escape through my skin.

The sound that came out of me was the same agonizing wail that I’d made when I learned my mother was gone.

It felt like a piece of me was dying, and I needed to go through it.

I couldn’t stop it. Couldn’t fight it. I had to feel every sharp cut, every broken memory, every word I couldn’t say.

I had to drown in it before I had any hope of breathing again.

Reaching the footboard, I leaned back and hugged my knees while I rocked myself. Liam sat down beside me, not touching me and not saying anything. His quiet presence of surety and stability was exactly what I needed when it felt like everything was crumbling around me.

As my sobs began to subside, he held out a box of tissues. I wiped my face, blew my nose, and stared at the wall.

“I’m…mess.”

“You are,” he said. I smirked and then laughed.

“Lie…me…can.”

“No, I can’t lie to you. It would be totally off-brand, and we just can’t have that, Little Rabbit,” he said, nudging my shoulder.

Dabbing at my eyes, I looked at him and sighed.

“I know. I see it all in you, but I promise that you’re going to get through this.

” He picked up my hand, linking our fingers.

“On a scale of all the other shit you’ve been through so far, this is actually tame. ”

I snorted and glared at him, but he had a point.

We stayed on the floor, Liam allowing me to take the lead on what I needed, which was so like him.

He didn’t try to put me back together, didn’t sugarcoat anything, but still managed to give me the confidence to get back up from the punch that had knocked me to the ground.

“Dad,” I said.

“What about him,” Liam asked.

Touching my heart, I tried to get the words out. “Need…find…Dad.”

“Why do you need to find him?”

I shrugged. “Feel…must…find.”

“Who is your father?”

I slumped against the bed and frowned. That should’ve been an easy question, but the longer I sat with it, the more uncertain I became.

“Don’t…know.” I licked my lips. “Neal…Chris…Christov…”

Rubbing my eyes, I felt the pull of the dark void that liked to rise whenever a memory touched on the night this happened to me. There was something I was missing…someone, maybe? Ugh…this was so frustrating.

“Once you figure out who you want me to find, I will. But for tonight, I think you need to get some sleep.”

I nodded, feeling exhausted.

Liam helped me up, and for the first time, I looked around the room.

Ella had thought of everything. The walls were lined with blown-up photos of Canada, Wayward, and other memories.

A beautiful desk faced the window with a computer waiting.

Shelves of my favorite books and containing some titles I hadn’t read yet, waited for me.

Liam led me into the closet. One side was filled with my clothes, while the other side was filled with menswear.

“Nash’s stuff,” Liam said when I pointed.

“My stuff’s in Theo’s room. Myles took part of Blake’s closet. Nash…needed space when he’s here.”

I crossed my arms.

Liam chuckled. “Yeah, he just claimed that side. Pushy, right?”

The scene was clear in my mind. Nash barging in like he owned the place. But I also remembered how sweet he’d been earlier. Maybe I’d forgiven him. Maybe I hadn’t. I honestly couldn’t remember.

After locating clothes to sleep in, I let Liam lead me into the ensuite that was the size of another bedroom.

“I’ll be out here when you’re done, unless you want me to leave?” I shook my head. “Okay.”

Liam closed the door, and I was left to stare at myself in the mirror. My hair spilled around my shoulders when I removed the clip holding it in place. I ran my fingers through the long strands that were a constant reminder that I’d already died once and somehow managed to stay breathing.

I needed to remember that even when I didn’t feel it, even when my heart hurt so badly that all I craved was peace, that I had survived and would again.

It wouldn’t be unscathed, because each trial I had endured in my short life had left its mark, but I would prevail.