Page 22 of Volatile King (The Kings of Wayward Academy #6)

N ash

The water glistened and rippled even though no one was swimming. It was hypnotic and always had been.

Leaning back on the bleachers, I took a swig of the bottle I’d swiped from the O’Brien house when I left. I hadn’t even bothered to see what it was. It tasted like shit and burned like the Devil was fucking my throat. But I didn’t care.

When Liam had carried Ren upstairs, I followed. But then, Theo stopped me and closed the door, effectively locking me out.

“Let Liam talk to her. He has a way.” I mumbled Theo’s words before he’d gripped my shoulder and going back down to rejoin the others.

As I’d stood there staring at the door, I was tempted to ignore him, but then decided to listen. The bone-crushing sobs that had come through the wood had torn at my heart. My hands had tightened on the door frame as I hung my head and let Ren’s raw pain do its worst.

I deserved it. I deserved it and so much more.

I’d failed Mya and now Ren. Who would be the third? My guys? Mr. Genovese? Myself?

Three years, and Mya’s ghost still clung to me like blood I couldn’t wash off because I let her get too close. Now, Ren carried memories that would haunt her because I let her get too close. A pattern had developed, and you didn’t need Theo’s IQ to see it.

And the Curators…I realized now that they had their finger on the pulse of everything.

It didn’t matter what it was, and I still had no idea how they did it, but the wheels in my head turned on overdrive.

They most likely knew about the abuse that Myles had suffered, and were aware of what my father had done to me and the others that I watched him rape and murder.

But worst of all, it meant there was a good chance they knew that my father planned on killing Mya and did nothing. Did that mean they were as much to blame for the fucked-up slip and slide of trauma in my head?

They watched. Fucking watched everything. They had to have known. They had the power to stop it—to interfere—but they didn’t. They chose to let all of that and a million other things around the world happen.

I’d heard the stories about how neutrality was their religion. Balance above blood. Code above conscience, unless…unless you broke one of their rules. Stupid fucking rules.

If they had stepped in, Mya might still be alive.

If they’d stepped in this time, maybe Ren wouldn’t be suffering.

I focused on the pool, trying to find my footing, or hell, maybe lose myself.

But the peace that was born in the silence that always came from this room wasn’t what I needed to drown out the noise.

“Fucking cowards,” I growled.

“Do you always talk to the water?”

My head shot up at the sound of his voice. Dean Henry stood not ten feet away like he had just magically appeared out of thin air. He looked at me and then the water.

“Or is this a special occasion?”

“Leave me alone, Henry.”

“Not, Dean Henry?”

“With the mood I’m in, you’re lucky I didn’t just tell you to fuck off.”

“The pool seems to be tired of your whining. So tell me what is bothering you instead.”

He climbed up and sat down on the bench beside me. The vibration through the metal reminded my numb ass just how long I’d been perched here.

The bottle dangled from my fingers. “Did you just come to lecture me? Tell me to meditate or breathe through it.”

“No lectures and no meditation, but yoga is quite relaxing. You should try it sometime,” he said, the corner of his mouth lifting just enough to know he was poking fun at me. “No, I am simply here to remind you that self-destruction is rarely poetic and never effective.”

I scoffed. “Don’t pretend that you care.”

“If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t have let you and your friends off the hook for killing Axel. I also wouldn’t have put your name forward with the Curators as a leader to keep an eye on…in a good way, of course. I certainly wouldn’t have sent you to Italy.”

That made me pause, and I clenched my jaw.

“So let me get this straight. You didn’t do your job, and the guards here were too incompetent to stop an assault.

My friends and I took care of the problem, and you want me to say thank you.

” I knew that I was skating on thin ice, but that was one benefit of good booze—you really didn’t give a fuck about anything.

“You say that you put my name forward to the Curators, but I really don’t know what that’s supposed to mean.

The way things have been handled so far leaves much to be desired, so I’m not sure I want to know.

And lastly, you want me to be thankful that you sent me to Italy, but you didn’t know what was going to happen.

Edmundo could’ve gutted me. So why did you send me? ”

Henry shook his head like he was disappointed, and that annoyed the shit out of me. I would’ve preferred if he had just yelled. I was used to yelling. This was just…irritating.

“You still don’t get it. After everything, you’re still wandering around wearing blinders.”

“Fuck…don’t do that. Don’t answer shit with statements that say nothing,” I growled and took another sip of the liquid fire.

“You needed to understand the weight of the game you were playing, and you needed allies. It was time you understood how the ripples work and…I trusted you to handle it. Something I thought you’d appreciate.

From what I’ve seen, you’ve done very well for yourself with the opportunities that have come from that arrangement. ”

“Weight? Ripples? Bullshit,” I snapped, and he glared at me.

“Mind yourself, Nash, I’m not one of your friends.”

“Yeah, you’ve made that pretty clear. I’m more worried that you’re an enemy,” I said. “You and the entire Curator organization, whoever the fuck they are. You sit back and hide behind your rules and let people die…for what?” I growled.

“Tell me something, Nash. When you jump into a pool, what happens?”

Henry had lost his mind. I glanced at the pool before answering.

“I get wet…”

He stood and buttoned his suit jacket.

“If you aren’t going to take this seriously, then I’ll leave. Try not to drown, that may traumatize Ren further,” he said and started to walk away.

“Fuck,” I swore softly. “Wait.” He turned and looked at me. “It creates a wave.”

“Not a wave, Nash. A ripple.” Dean Henry sat down again.

“I understand your anger, but every move played always has an equal and opposite reaction. Good or bad, there is always something. Let’s take Mya for a moment.

” My teeth clenched. “You blame the Curators for not saving her. Let’s pretend that is true, and we can take a time machine back, tell me how that plays out. ”

Blinking back my frustration, I responded, “She and my child live. I don’t carry around their deaths my whole life.”

“That is very nearsighted of you, Nash. I thought you played chess, maybe it has only been checkers.”

“Funny.”

“Until you learn to see all the moves in the world’s multi-dimensional game, you will be destined only to find pain.”

Setting the bottle down, I rubbed my eyes.

“My head already hurts, and it’s steeping in alcohol. This may not be the best time to ask me deep questions. Just a thought.”

“And yet your mouth works just fine, it’s a miracle,” Henry said.

“Tell me this. I’ll stick with Mya as an example.

Does she move in with you? Do you move in with her?

Do you two run off and start your family away from your father?

Does Lawrence hunt you down? What happens then?

What happens to Liam, Theo, Myles, and Blake?

What if you stay here and still fight, but now your father uses Mya and your child to control you, and you end up just like him? ”

My mind spun in circles as I tried to find a logical answer to even one of those questions.

“No answers? Okay, how about this…what about Ren? How do you see her fitting into the picture now? You certainly wouldn’t have Mr. Genovese’s support, and you probably would’ve helped your father uncover her identity.

Does that mean Lawrence marries her? Does she leave here, and someone else pieces it together?

What if she is kidnapped and forced to marry someone else, someone horrible? Can you answer any of those questions?”

I looked down, unable to process his scenarios.

“And that, Nash, all stems from one moment in time. One decision. When the Curators were created to protect this school and its students, rules were put in place for a reason. The founders agreed that interfering can have unforeseen consequences, and that wasn’t to be the Curators’ role.

They know they are not gods, and thinking otherwise, choosing to act like one, can lead you down a very dangerous road. ”

“I can’t answer any of that, but knowing their reasons doesn’t erase the pain caused by Mya’s death.”

“True, but it helped make you the man you are today. The one who doesn’t ever want to walk the same path as his father. Can you say with certainty that if Mya had lived and you didn’t suffer that horrible sacrifice that you would still be as resolved to bring Lawrence to his knees?”

“That may all be true. But you can’t deny that you used me.

The Curators have helped me since that day.

What makes one interference more acceptable than another?

You have the situation dressed up in riddles, responsibility, and worst-case scenarios.

But at the end of the day, using me to destroy my father helps them.

Don’t bother lying to me, I know that’s their endgame. So how is that any better?”

“See it however you like, that is your right. But maybe one day you’ll understand that some risks can be taken. I gave you an opportunity,” he countered. “One you wouldn’t have had if I hadn’t pointed you in the right direction. I could’ve remained silent, would that have been better?”

Fuck, I hated how calm he was—like nothing I said could shake him.

“God, you are so…fucking frustrating. Why can’t you just tell me the whole truth?”