Page 71 of Unexpectedly You

There’s no doubt about the word love. I’ve never felt like this about anyone else, and there’s no doubt he fits perfectly inside my arms, in my heart, and in my life.

It’s even worse than what happened to my sister. I felt guilty for surviving her, so I’ve lived part of the guilt and the pain Jay went through.

His sobs and tears, and the overwhelming weight he must have carried, so similar to mine, and yet so different.

I had Arianna to take care of, so I didn’t have the time to fold myself inward hoping for the storm to pass.

Where are the people Jay should have relied on?

Should I ask or would prying create more pain?

The way he fell asleep in my arms has undone me, and made me realise how important Jay is to me. And how important it is for me to protect what he considers important.

I look at him still resting in my arms, his hand gripping my shirt as if he doesn’t want to let go, or as if he’s afraid I won’t be here when he wakes up. As if I could let him go now after all this.

His face has relaxed in sleep, but his eyelashes are still wet from his tears, and I want to kiss them until they’re dry and Jay is awake again and happy.

I glance at the clock and then at the monitor, just to make sure Arianna is still sleeping. She’s sleeping more now that she’s moved to solid food, but she still has a bottle at night.

I stand with Jay still in my arms. He’s gained weight but not enough to be too heavy for me. He rubs his face against my shirt, his eyes blink, and then those crystalline blues focus on me and his lips lift into a smile that I’m quick to reciprocate.

“Hi.”

“Hi, Angel.” I love how the smile gets bigger, and his eyes sparkle.

“I love when you call me Angel. It makes me believe that there is something good in me.”

“Eveything is good in you.”

“Maybe.”

I hate the doubt, but I understand why he feels like that. It’ll take time, but one day he’ll see what I see. A kind and wonderful young man who deserves love and everything that’s good in life.

“One day you’ll see what I see. In the meantime I’ll have to repeat it to you every day.”

“Every day?

“Every single one of them.”

The grip on my shirt gets tighter, and the way he buries his face into it tells me how emotional he still is, and my need to protect him grows in spades.

“I like that.”

“I like it too.”

“Let me down,” Jay asks, and I carefully put him down, but I don’t let go until he’s stable on his feet. His body rubs against mine on the way down, and every part that connects with him burns with its own fire.

He doesn’t pull away. Instead he leans into me, and my hands find his waist as if drawn there by the need to protect andpossess. Jay rises onto his toes and his fingers curl into the fabric of my shirt again. I love how with small gestures he claims me.

One of his arms goes around my neck, while the other slides up, stops for a moment to play with the hair on my chest, and then keeps going until it reaches the other one around my neck.

Slowly he lifts his leg, and his upper body falls back a little, looking as if he’s offering himself to me. I slide one arm around his waist to support him, while with the other I follow the motion of his leg. My palm traces the curve of his arse, lingering there for a second and then moving along his leg, a gentle caress that sends a shiver through our bodies. My touch is tender, because I want to savour the moment, savour the effect touching him has on me, and my touch has on him.

When my hand reaches the bend of his knee, Jay pushes against me, rubbing against my now very interested cock, until he’s resting on my chest with his head pushed back and those beautiful eyes focused on my lips.

I pull him closer, and slide my other hand down the curve of his arse, gently caressing his cheek, but without stopping until I reach the point where it meets his leg. I grab him there and haul him up until his lips meet mine.

“Put your legs around me.”