Page 101 of Unexpectedly You

Once done, I lean again on the door frame to watch this known surprise unfold.

For a moment everything freezes, Jay’s grip on the door so tight that it makes his fingers white, and his face.

“Hi Mum. Hi Dad,” Jay says when he opens the door.

Margareth’s voice and then Phil’s, just murmured words that I’m not close enough to hear.

Jay moves to the side of the door to let his parents in. As soon as they’re inside the house, they’re in each other’s arms. Jay and his mother are crying, while his father looks at them with wet eyes.

“Oh, my baby,” Margareth cries. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“I’ve missed you too, Mum. I’m sorry.”

“My baby, you have nothing to be sorry for,” she says, pulling him closer to her chest. These are the same words she repeats to him every time Jay says I’m sorry. There’s no doubt in Margareth that Jay was never at fault.

I admire her strength, that of a mother who wants to love and help the only child she has left. Even my eyes get teary whenJay relaxes against her, eyes brimming with tears, but they look brighter than before.

That haunted look he had every time that horrible night was mentioned is just a tiny spot. He would probably never forgive himself, but maybe with his parents here he can come to terms with it.

The whispered I love yous are beautiful to witness. Just like me, Jay’s father Phil is trying to stay strong, but I catch him drying a tear from his cheek.

This is family.

Even if I cut them off, I wish I could say I don’t think about my parents anymore, but that’d be a lie. In the heart of the boy I once was there is still that tiny dot of hope. Even if the older me knows differently, and can’t ever forget.

I’m working on forgiving, because if I don’t let go of the past, I can never really embrace the future.

And there’s nothing more important than my future with Jay and Arianna.

Jay and I are seeing someone separately, because we both need to heal. But when we’re at home, while we sit together on the sofa with Jay on my lap like we usually do, we share everything. We believe that sharing our struggles, our victories, small or big, is a step towards putting everything in the past.

Since Dick was arrested, Jay has been battling nightmares, anxiety, memories of the accident, and shame. Some days are better and others are worse, but since we reached out to Jay’s parents, things have been improving.

I’m sure one day we’ll be only living the present and dreaming of the future, while the past will be left in the past.

Their love and understanding about Jay’s feelings, his guilt and shame, has made all the difference.

I’m glad I reached out to them after what we went through with my parents and Dick. I didn’t ask Jay’s permission, because I wasn’t sure he would want me to. Instead I asked Shine once again for his help.

Once I had their number, I called them, knowing I would hang up the phone if they blamed Jay. Instead, I found two people devastated by the pain of losing both of their kids, even if one was still alive. We talked for a few weeks before I trusted them enough to tell Jay.

I’ve never seen him so upset, so scared since those days we were close to losing each other, and he was so in need to believe they loved him still. I could live with him being upset if it meant he was healing, if it meant he had his family back, a family that still loved him with all their heart.

In the beginning things were uncomfortable, because Jay’s brain was still telling him he was guilty. Until they found a middle ground—Arianna. Talking about her helped them to get closeragain, and step by step, Jay took the opportunity to open up and share what he went through when Will died and after. Since then, they’ve been talking on the phone basically every day, especially Jay and his mum. They love sharing recipes, and everything about Arianna.

I go back inside the kitchen and pick Arianna up. It’s time to meet the grandparents. Because even if it’s not official, I consider Jay Arianna’s dad as much as I am.

He lives for her and for me, reminding us both how lucky we are to have found each other.

“Gaga,” she says to me, and I melt in a puddle of happiness, because she’s the cutest thing I’ve ever met.

I’m convinced she’s calling me, and that word means Dada.

While Jay is convinced she’s calling him.

I approach the three of them, still close in a tight hug.

They let go and turn to us, smiling faces despite the tears still filling their eyes. As soon as I’m close Jay takes Arianna from my arms and I place one around his shoulder to pull him closer.