Page 33 of Unexpectedly You

Jay follows my movements. His attention moves from my mouth to my eyes, and for a moment everything stops. His eyes, which always seem so clear, are now cloudy, as if they’re reflecting the same emotions clouding mine.

The step forward I take brings me closer to Jay, and I place my arm gently around his waist. Once again it strikes me how bony his body is, and I promise myself to cook more for him, and make sure he’s healthy and safe. That thought disappears from my mind when Jay’s hand comes to rest on the right side of my neck, melting my brain into a puddle of desire and want, and once again focusing all my attention on the need to taste his lips.

There is noresisting.

I lean in and place a gentle kiss on Jay’s lips, and time freezes. The sensations I felt when his fingers touched my lips are hundred times more powerful. I pull back to check if he’s fine, and I like how his turned-up face, with closed eyes and lips slightly parted, looks.

It’s like an invite to take more, and…I do.

I lean in, and cover his lips with mine once again. I kiss him again, tasting his flavour with my tongue when he opens under the pressure, and becoming addicted to it.

Jay tastes like strawberries, summer, and long sweaty nights. With every touch, he takes away the winters I have in me…melting all those parts that have been in a long deep sleep and giving them new life.

I hold on to him because I don’t want to lose these feelings, but also because I’m afraid of what they would do to me if I’m not anchored to something.

His whimper of pain has me releasing him at once.

“Fuck.” The word leaves my lips as guilt overwhelms me, annihilating every single bit of pleasure I got from the kiss. I’m too surprised by the hurricane his touch has woken in me to stop him from moving half a room away from me before my brain is back to functioning.

“Sorry.” His gaze is a mix of desire and fear.

“It’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong.” I fucking did. I shouldn’t have touched him, not when my house and I are the only safe place for him.

“Let’s get that stuff put away.” It’s just a way to bring clarity after letting our senses be clouded by passion, but also to make sure he knows I’m not upset, and above all that I want him here with me.

“Yeah, okay,” he says after a moment, but only when he walks toward the kitchen do I believe it.

I let him do the minimum, but enough to feel like he’s helping. I understand how he must feel because it was the same for me when Henry offered me a place to stay. I wasn’t injured, not physically. Emotionally… that’s a Pandora’s box I don’t want to open.

We don’t talk about the kiss, we pretend it never happened. But even I, the man who’s usually blind to his surroundings, can sense how charged by emotions the room is.

Guilt, though, is gnawing at me. My inability to keep away has made his injuries worse. I’ll have to keep my lips to myself, but how can I when his lips are begging me to take them?

Through putting the shopping away and making dinner, I’m unable to ignore how his lips felt against mine. The kiss ended abruptly, but the feeling of it still lingers inside me.

Why did I kiss him?

It’s not like I’m not used to depriving myself of what I desire, so why couldn’t I resist leaning in and taking his mouth as if my life depended on tasting him in that second?

So, why did I kiss him?

My question goes beyond the fact that he’s gorgeous, kind, and that his touch makes me vibrate with need.

What pulls me to Jay is how strong he is. Despite what happened, what that bastard did to him, he’s still standing and his first thought is for others.

While I move around the kitchen, I’m hyperaware of him, even if he’s just sitting there. His gaze, his laugh, the way he says my name, they take up so much space inside my head that there’s barely room for anything else. It’s ridiculous.

Even in those quiet moments between us, it’s like we’re still talking, connecting, and sharing.

How can my whole mind be filled with him? Why is it filled with him?

I set a plate in front of him and then take my place at the table. We eat in silence, but my attention is all on him.

His stolen glances don’t go amiss, nor does the way he licks his lips. Those same lips that were under mine not so long ago.

I follow his tongue with my eyes… with my whole being if the reactions of my body are a sign of how conscious I am of Jay.

Right and left, and my dick raises to half-mast.