Page 1 of Unexpectedly You

CHAPTER 1

Haden

Iwatch the coffin in front of me, its form all blurry. I blink a couple of times to clear my vision from the tears swimming in my eyes. Focusing on anything is impossible with the thundering question absorbing all my thoughts. Why am I not the one lying in there?

Instead, the sight of my beautiful little sister hits me like a knife in the guts. She had so much to live for.

I, on the other hand, was the one born wrong, born abnormal. Or at least that’s what my family thinks. Were any of these wordsmine? Yes, once they lived rent free in my head, deep inside, and they chewed my guts like a starving wolf eats its prey.

Now, they’re not important, and I squash the never-ending hope of being accepted. I’m aware it’ll never happen, and yet…

It would be a lie if I said I didn’t hate myself. I do.

But not my sister. She always loved me for who I was.Who I am.

How could she leave me behind?

It should have been me.

I should be the one lying inside the coffin, resting against the white cushion. No one would have cried if it were me lying there. It would have been a weight off their shoulders, a secret that, if revealed, wasn’t going to shame them any longer.

I squeeze my eyes shut, wishing with all my being that when I open them, I’ll no longer be here and she’ll still be with me.

Her face is so pale, resembling the pillow she’s resting on. Eyes closed, and mouth deprived of all the light that her smile would bring to her face, just like her body is deprived of all the warmth.

I touch her hand, because even if my eyes are telling me she’s no longer part of this world, I still can’t believe it. I still need to feel her here with me.

Her cold skin under my fingers creates a cage of ice around my heart. I won’t ever hear her beautiful giggles, so contagious people would turn around and look at her as if in rapture. I want to hear Halia laughing, the sound so infectious that even my hardened heart could be penetrated by her joy. Like it was every time we saw each other.

She could illuminate a room with her smile and her personality. She loved me with all her heart, even when no one else did.

I never thought I’d survive her, my beautiful little sister. I never thought she’d be dead at twenty-four.

Now who’s going to love me?

Alone.The word resonates inside my head and makes me hollow. I’malone.

Dizziness spreads inside me at the thought, just like it did when my mother called and told me Halia was gone. That day, though, my legs didn’t support my weight and I crashed to the floor like a broken doll. The pieces are still scattered there and I’m sure I’m never going to be whole again.

Today, in front of these people who judged and rejected me because of who I love, I’m going to stand tall. I’ll never give them the satisfaction of seeing me broken.

“Darling, I’m so sorry. I’m going to miss you like crazy. Please look after us from above. You’ll be with us, always. I promise—“ My voice breaks, and I swallow to make space for the words tocome out. “I promise I’ll do my damn best.” I should walk away and leave space for other people to say goodbye, but I can’t leave her. She’s going to be as alone as I am now if I let go of her hand.

My mum’s drilling holes in my back with her gaze. It’s a living thing that makes my skin crawl and fills me with the need to run, but I can’t leave my sister alone.

“Haden.”

My mind reacts to her voice by making my skin taut on my bones, as if it’s trying to remove itself from her presence. My legs twitch with the need to leave, but my hand grips my sister’s even harder.

“Mother.”

“You need to move along.” Her tone is hushed, because she doesn’t want to make a scene. Even the open casket, not so common here, is all for show. Displaying us was always what made my mother happy, even more than controlling us.

Today, I’m glad she did this, though, because I can see my sister one last time.

I failed many times to stay in the box she placed me in, and I hate that she’s trying with all her being to put me back in.

“I need another minute and then I’ll go.” I don’t look at her, but I stand in front of the coffin, immovable.