Page 5

5

LOGAN

D ad: Sunday dinner, mandatory.

Dad: I’m making Grandma’s salad.

Mom: I’m making cinnamon rolls for dessert.

Logan: Enough bribes, I’ll be there.

Mom: I want to hear everything!!!

Yeah, wasn’t much to tell. Classes had barely started. Gage’s ex was in my classes. Oh, and the hockey guy that they were slightly worried about was gonna pretend to date me to keep Gage away. I still had no idea how to cook. The usual.

Logan: It’s been so great!

I forced a smile as I stared down at my phone. The bench outside the library was gifted from the class of 1992. A small group of library science majors pitched in to purchase a bench to look like a stack of books, and I loved it. This spot was my favorite because of the history but also because it was in the shade and near the library. I tried checking out two books a week to read and record, and I’d always read the first chapter here. I’d picked up the latest from Abby Jimenez and prepared myself to cry in the best way, right as someone cleared their throat.

Annoyance ate at me. Wasn’t it a universal sign that when someone opened a book, you didn’t interrupt them? We needed a marketing push to make that more of a social norm.

“Logan, do you have a minute?”

Rat Queen.

I’d managed to avoid her all week despite being in the same class. Quentin and I hadn’t made our big fake debut yet, which I now regretted. He said the welcome back party this weekend would be the perfect—which sounded great.

If I didn’t look up from my book, maybe she’d get the hint.

“Please. I need a few minutes.” She tried again, her voice holding a whine that grated at me. “Logan. I’ve been polite about this but?—”

“Have you?” I snapped the book shut with a loud pop. I rarely yelled. It was one of my faults that I never spoke up. It wasn’t in my nature. I got angry, had big feelings, but yelling wasn’t ever something I did. This tempted me though. “Because respecting my boundaries and my choice about not wanting to speak to you would be polite. Instead, you’ve assumed you deserve my time.”

Rebecca Right was a tall, beautiful girl with long black hair and pretty blue eyes. Everything about her was right, and she was the girl Gage warned me never to worry about. They were childhood friends. Nothing more. She’d weaseled her way into being friends with Jordan and me. We’d all three hung out on numerous occasions. Her and Jordan had even grown pretty close the last few years. I liked her.

So the betrayal hit twice as hard. And not only to me. Jordan too.

She blinked, her eyes filling with moisture as her mouth opened and closed. I hated seeing her be sad when I was the victim in this. I’d done nothing wrong, yet I was made to feel like the bad person.

I hugged the book to my chest and stood, staring her down. “We have nothing to discuss.”

The day I walked in on Gage and her would be carved into my heart forever. I’d like to think I’d move on, obviously, but the feeling of utter heartbreak wasn’t something I’d forget. My parents always said heartbreak was a part of life and that it showed you what you really wanted out of a partner. Yeah, that was true, I guess, but how long would bitter feelings remain? Why did seeing Gage make me question myself?

My eyes watered as I walked back to the house, the cloud of the breakup persistent around me. It was three months ago. I was over this shit, so why did it keep coming back up?

Quentin.

I needed to do a hard fake launch with him. Tonight. Then she’d leave me alone, Gage would get the hint, and I could go back to healing, finding my voice, and enjoying being on my own with Jordan. I didn’t know who I was sometimes, and this breakup made that obvious. I was just Gage’s girlfriend for a while and then Jordan’s quieter best friend. I was the only daughter for so long, then became the oldest. I didn’t quite know who I was, and it was hard. Impostor syndrome hit me often, my secret thoughts pushing out the others. Did I deserve to be living in this house? What if they wished I’d never moved in?

Jordan would never say that, and I knew it, but the thought was still there. Seeing Rebecca brought back all the insecurities, and I hated feeling this way. I was the girl who was heartbroken over a guy who made me feel bad about myself. It was messed up, and I vowed to speak up more. Maybe that started with this deal with Quentin. Being around him made me more confident somehow.

My pulse raced as the internal struggle waged on, and the first step in quieting it was a distraction.

There had to be a party tonight.

I slammed the front door shut, immediately shouting, “Jordan! Quentin! Are you two here?”

“Jordan is out doing something wild, and Q is probably around. What’s wrong?” Preston set his controller down and paused his game. “You’re sweating. You never sweat. Log, what is it?”

“I need to party.”

He chuckled. “Uh, I mean, I’ve been ready to introduce you to the wild side of this place, but may I ask why? Wait, Jordan would die if you went wild without her. I kinda wanna do it just to see her reaction.”

I waved him off. “Quentin, you here?” I shouted up the stairs.

The bastard walked out of his room in low hanging gray shorts and nothing else. It took less than half a second for my body to heat and my mouth to dry up. His bare chest was thick, strong, and wet—like he’d just showered. He was toned. Chiseled. Ripped.

Gage was all muscle but not definition, where Quentin was detailed. The lines of his abs glistened from moisture as he neared me. I couldn’t even pretend to focus on his face with his body this close to my face.

“Uh—”

“Sorry, I just showered. I can put on a shirt.”

“No. No, no.” I swallowed, somehow, which earned an award of some sort. “You’re…fine.”

“By that blush, not sure fine is the word you were searching for, Log.”

“Shut up.” I closed my eyes, shaking my head, but that didn’t do anything to rid the image of him shirtless. Focus on his face. Do it. With the might of a legion of men, I met his gaze as I asked, “Can we hard launch tonight?”

“Hard launch, huh? This sounds interesting.”

“Please. You know what I mean. I just…can we go to a party and I smack your ass or something?”

He snorted. “Sounds like a great night. But yeah. We can head to a party together.” He ran a hand over his jaw, and I didn’t acknowledge the way his bicep bulged at the motion. “Did something happen today?”

“No. Well, yes. But not with Gage. With Rat Queen.”

Quentin studied me, his tongue wetting the side of his lip in a scandalous, delicious way. He didn’t mean it that way, but I felt the attraction hard and fast.

In a strange way, it felt good to be attracted to someone else. It meant I wasn’t broken. Gage hadn’t ruined all of me, just my little ole heart.

“Do you want to go somewhere where Gage will be or just somewhere that people will talk about it?”

“Solid question.” Images of Gage’s face falling brought me a little joy, but then I dismissed it. I wasn’t cruel. I didn’t want to hurt him. I wanted him to leave me alone. “Somewhere that it’ll get back to him, but I don’t want to see him.”

Quentin nodded, a sparkle entering his eyes. “I know the place. It’s rowdy, but I’ll be with you.”

“Okay, cool. Great. Awesome.” Nerves exploded like fireworks, shooting off in every direction. I rocked on my heels and held onto my backpack straps like they prevented me from spiraling. “See you later then, bro.”

His dimples popped as he nodded. “Bro,” he repeated, a slow smile growing on his face that held way too much mischief. “Let’s head out at eight.”

“Sure thing.” I then made the worst choice of all time. Foolishly, like a total capital D dork, I finger gunned him. Both hands, two finger guns. We both stared at my hands as all my dignity left through the tips of my pointer fingers. “Whoa, I should put these bad boys away.”

I holstered them and walked backwards, out of sight from Quentin Hawthorne and preferably into a big gaping hole where Earth would deservingly swallow me up. My pulse raced as my skin turned blazing red. That was mortifying.

“Jesus Christ, Lo. What was that?” Preston covered his mouth as he barked out his car-alarm laugh. “Finger guns? Hard launch? Who even are you?”

“Do not mention the finger guns,” I scolded. “When I’m eighty and someone asks me if I have any regrets in life, I will remember the last three minutes as one of the top, no, the absolute top worst regret.”

Preston laughed harder as he went back to his game. “You’re a riot. Not sure I understand why you and Q need to go to a party together, but good for both of you. Tell Jordan or she’ll punch me for knowing something before she did.”

“Sure thing, boss.” I sighed and scrubbed my hands over my face, stomping to my room and shutting the door before I could do anything else embarrassing. I blamed Quentin’s chest. It was so distracting my brain cells forgot how to work. That was it.

The nerves had nothing to do with what he had planned for me or what Gage would say or how Jordan would react to this plan. She loved chaos, so it was definitely up her alley.

Logan: JoJo, it’s a level ten Mississippi mayhem

I used our childhood codename for when it was urgent-urgent. Like the time she lost her cat or I accidentally broke my mom’s favorite vase. It set the right tone.

Jordan: 10-4, Log. What’s the situation?

Logan: I’m gonna fake date Quentin and go out to party with him tonight. Long story—but I need help getting ready. And to tell me I shouldn’t do this.

Jordan: …I have questions. Be back in twenty minutes.

Jordan: I’m never gonna talk you out of a fake dating scheme or a party for what its worth

Jordan: Quentin… interesting…okay, fuck it. Leaving now.

It didn’t take long before Jordan walked into my bedroom, her narrowed eyes scanning my closet. “Skin.”

“I’m sorry, what?” I chuckled as I pushed up on my bed. Scrolling through social media was a great waste of time, but it rarely made me feel better.

“You need to wear something tonight that shows skin.” She clicked her tongue as she pulled out jean shorts that went high above my waist. “I have the best top. Hold please.”

Like a breeze, she was in and out, leaving her familiar perfume in the air. Jordan was the best friend in the world, and once I moved past the whole Gage thing, I’d appreciate even more how cool it was that her and I lived together. I wanted to focus on the positive, and that was it.

“This. Take off your shirt.” She held a dark green strap that couldn’t possibly be a shirt.

Her telling me to strip wasn’t new. I took off the thin shirt and tossed it to the basket. I already had a full thing of laundry to do, but that was tomorrow’s problem.

“You won’t be able to wear a bra with this, but hear me out.” She nudged the shirt into my hand. “This is tight and will show off your figure. You have cute little boobs, so any nipple teasing won’t be too much.”

“Jordan…” I swallowed a ball of nerves. On instinct, I said, “Gage hated when I wore anything?—”

“Do not finish that sentence.” Her eyes flashed with anger. “This is another reason why I am so down for you to do this. Gage fucked with your trust and body image, and I refuse to let any of his opinions matter to you. He hated when you wore clothes that showed off your body? Fuck that. It’s your body. And you are beautiful.”

A massive ball of emotion formed in my throat, making it ache, but I swallowed it down. “Gage keeps trying to talk to me. I keep running into him. I want to move past this, but it’s hard when he’s there.”

She nodded, understanding on her face. “That’s part of the fake dating thing then. To get him off your back. Damn, never took Quentin for a stand-up guy like that, but points to him.”

“He’s been kind about it all. We, uh, were grabbing food for the house and ran into Gage. Quentin saw firsthand how he is and how I respond.” My face heated with shame. “I don’t know why Gage has this power over me still. I don’t want to care about him or miss him. I really don’t.”

“Hey.” Her voice softened. “There’s no timeline on heartbreak. Healing is a process of ups and downs, and that’s okay. Surrounding yourself with people who love and support you and giving yourself grace is all you can do.”

“That was really wise of you.”

“I know. I’m honestly impressing myself.”

That made me laugh, and I threw my arms around her in a hug. “You’re the best. Love you.”

“You too, Log. Forever and ever.” She squeezed me for a good minute before she patted my butt. “Now, let’s figure this outfit out.”

Over the next few hours, we made a playlist Lolo (Logan only lives once) while we dissected all the ways tonight would be great.

It’d get Gage off my back, giving me more time to heal.

It’d be a new experience.

It could be fun.

It’d be out of my comfort zone.

There was just one thing I needed to discuss with Quentin—touching. Did we do it? I joked about smacking his ass, but should I?

“You look hot.” Jordan slow-clapped and whistled. “I mean, it’s all you, but I do good work. It’s like eighty you, twenty me.”

I felt good. Slightly nervous because I had never worn something like this. I’d seen girls wear crop tops that hung off shoulders. I admired them. But I’d never thought to wear one myself because I’d hate to disappoint Gage. I couldn’t wear a bra, and that felt scandalous, but I loved how the fabric felt over my skin.

My thighs were shaved and lotioned.

My hair was in braids, but we curled the baby strands that escaped, and it looked amazing. It didn’t matter that Gage would comment on my stomach showing or my shoulders or my boobs. You show that to me, not to anyone else. Put on a bigger shirt.

Chewing my lip, Jordan opened my bedroom door and shouted. “Quentin, come here for a minute.”

“What?” I spun around, heart rate spiking. “What are you doing? ”

She waved me off as our roommate slowly walked toward the door frame. He leaned on it, arms crossed, as his gaze met mine.

I couldn’t even tell you what he wore or what my name was. Not when Quentin Hawthorne eyed me up and down, slowly dragging that green gaze from my legs all the way up to my chest, lingering before he met my gaze. I swore his eyes heated, twinkled even.

“Damn, Log, you look incredible.”

“She does, doesn’t she?” Jordan said. “I feel like a proud mother. Those legs and boobs need to be showed off, not hidden.”

“Jordan!” I covered my face with my hands, wanting to slightly kill her. “Can you not?”

“She’s right though. You look hot.”

I snuck a glance through my fingers, my entire body buzzing at Quentin calling me hot. I wasn’t someone who ever thought about myself that way. Cute, maybe. Pretty? Sometimes if I really tried. But hot? Damn.

If anyone was hot, it was Quentin. He wore a black shirt and jeans, the material clinging in all the right places but also hanging off his body in an effortlessly cool way. A gold chain was around his neck, half hidden under the shirt, and that peek of bling was also hot.

Could I really pretend to date this smokeshow?

“I wanted to discuss a few ground rules with you, Quentin. Our girl here is special and needs care.”

“Jordan, what are you?—”

“First off, you never leave her alone. I’ve dragged her to a few small parties but nothing like a hockey party. Since I’m not going to be there with her, you have to follow girl code.”

“I’ll take care of her,” he said to Jordan but stared at me. “I’ll always make sure you’re safe.”

I nodded, a little breathless.

“Good.” Jordan snapped her fingers. “Look at me, not her. I’m the one whose wrath you will have to deal with if she comes back in tears.”

Quentin’s lips quirked, but he nodded, urging her to continue.

“Bring her back by midnight.”

“Alright.”

“Third, not sure what you two negotiated for this or what your intentions are, but her ex did a number on her?—”

My anxiety spiked, needles poking skin.

“Jordan, enough.” I grabbed her forearm, tugging a bit. “I love your crazy ass, but no more. Quentin knows.”

“Mm, okay.” Jordan chewed her lip, her attention moving back and forth between the two of us before sighing. “Well, I did my pep talk. You both have fun. Be safe. Don’t die.”

“H.F.B.S.D.D,” I repeated our acronym, pulling her in a half hug. “Be proud of me, Dan the Man, I’m doing something wild.”

“I’m always proud of you. Now, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

And that was a scary warning. Because fake dating Quentin was already too wild for me.