Page 23

23

LOGAN

T he hockey season started in ten days. Preston and Quentin worked out more, had twice as many practices, and were home less and less.

I was excited to watch them play and actually go to games in person this year, but the dread of knowing our fling would be over hung over me. When we were together, our relationship felt real. We said things that seemed genuine. But we still stuck to the timeline.

“No fucking way.” Jordan kicked my foot under the table. We were at the student union, sitting outside at one of the wooden tables since the weather had become perfect outside. We could sit here and study for hours, people-watch, and work on homework.

“What is it?”

“Rebecca is walking toward us right now.”

I sucked in a breath. “Is she alone?”

“Yup. She is staring right at me too. Damn, I don’t want to do this right now.” Jordan pursed her lips before whispering, “Don’t let me punch her, okay?”

I snorted despite my stomach tightening. It was weird to not want closure with Rebecca while at the same time wanting this entire saga to end. She was exhausting. “Maybe this is due time, Dan. This can be our final conversation.”

“We’ll see.” Jordan crossed her arms right as Rebecca walked up to our table. “What do you want?”

Rebecca opened her mouth, closed it, and sighed. Her gaze jumped from Jordan to me, her cheeks pinkening.

It did bring me a little joy to see her struggle.

“I wanted to talk to you both.”

“Why?” Jordan asked, her tone sharp and jagged. Jordan wasn’t someone you wanted to piss off.

“To apologize. To clear the air. To get over this tension. I see you guys all the time, and I’m miserable. I miss our friendship, and I know I messed up, but?—”

“You fucked her boyfriend.” Jordan shook her head. “Messing up is forgetting plans or a birthday or saying something hurtful. Those you learn from and move on. Fucking someone’s boyfriend isn’t messing up, Rebecca.”

“I was jealous, okay?” she practically shouted.

“Excuse me?” I asked, my tone a whisper. “You were jealous of what, exactly?”

“You!” Rebecca’s hands twisted against her middle. “You had this super-hot football boyfriend and an amazing best friend who loved you, and you didn’t even go here. It didn’t make sense! Why are you so fucking special? I wanted that. Gage told me I was cute once, and no one has ever told me that, and I wanted to feel what it felt like.”

She knocked the wind out of me with her statements. Her hatred and cruelty toward me.

“Hope you enjoyed it because you lost our friendship over a taste of Gage.” Jordan’s cheeks were also red. “By the way, you hurt me when you made your choice, and Logan is way nicer and more forgiving than me. If you’re looking for forgiveness, you won’t get it. If you want to feel better about yourself, find new friends.”

Rebecca’s eyes watered. “There’s nothing I can do?”

“No.” I stared her down, my adrenaline coursing and my heart beating so hard against my ribcage it actually hurt. This was a showdown. The thing I’d been dreading all these months. All those moments I couldn’t speak or use my voice replayed in my mind. I was done being afraid of speaking up. Done.

I took a deep breath and said, “You just told me I don’t deserve to have a best friend or a boyfriend. Why would we want to spend time with anyone so cruel?”

Rebecca stared at Jordan. “We could still be friends.”

“It’s time you left.” Jordan clicked her tongue. “Leave us alone. Figure your shit out.”

“I wish I could take it back,” Rebecca mumbled. “I wish things were how they used to be. I really regret it.”

“Do you?” I asked, picturing how she was at that dinner. “I don’t think you do. Which, that’s okay. You made your choice. Probably a good thing to stick with it. Enjoy Gage.”

“He’s not really with me, Logan.” Rebecca’s words were short and sharp. “He’s pining after you. ”

“Mm, see the thing is, you made your intentions real clear here. You thought you could get Gage to yourself. But you were just his mistake, the side chick. When he said he didn’t want you, you figured you could come back and be friends with us. Nah, that ain’t gonna work, Becs. Let’s pretend we don’t know each other. That’ll be easiest for us. You can walk away now.”

Rebecca let out a strangled cry before she walked away, and while she’d showed her true colors, it still felt crappy to be a bad guy. My hand trembled as I grabbed my water bottle, the adrenaline still there. I met Jordan’s steely gaze and almost laughed. “You look murderous.”

“I’m feeling that way.” She chugged her bottle of water and exhaled so long I was surprised she could still breathe. “Fuck, dude. That was painful.”

“I’m not feeling great.” I chewed my lip, replaying every cruel word. “She hated me the whole time. We hung out together, shared our dreams… I feel used and betrayed even more?”

“Yeah, I’m so pissed right now. I usually have a great BS meter, and I liked her a lot! I also trusted her.” Jordan’s jaw tightened. “I’m so sorry, Logan. You deserve all the happiness in the world and are the best person I know. There is nothing she said that matters or has value, you know this, right?”

I swallowed back the wedge of emotion. “You’re the best friend ever.”

“So are you. But I’m serious. I know you. You did nothing fucking wrong, and you don’t get to feel guilt for her actions. I won’t let you.”

“Don’t think emotions work that way.” I sniffed, more sensitive than I thought. “But thank you.”

“All this is a reflection of her, not you. Same with Gage. Sure, he fucked up. I think he knows he did and hates himself for it, but Rebecca was the one who was a dick.” She scrubbed her face with her hand. “I don’t want to head to class right now while you’re feeling this way.”

“I’ll be okay, Dan. You’re too good of a friend. Go to class.” I held up my headphones. “You know I have a playlist already for feeling a little guilty and a lot shitty. ”

Her lips twitched. “I don’t know if you’re kidding, but I actually want that playlist made.”

“You have no reason to feel guilt.”

“Eh, there were two red flags with Rebecca when we started hanging out that I ignored. Thought she was nervous and really wanted to make friends. She’s not a girl’s girl like we are, she’s a pick me. I saw the signs and should’ve cut her out then. For that, I’m sorry.”

“You apologize for her choices one more time, and I’ll tackle your ass to the ground.”

She smiled. “I’d like to see your skinny ass try.”

She yanked me into a hug and kissed the top of my head before she left for class, and emotions raged in my heart. Gratitude for Jordan, so proud and appreciative for having her in my life. But then the yucky feeling of being exposed, used, played. Rebecca had manipulated me and our friendship, and that was a betraying sort of feeling. While it felt good to finally speak my mind to her, to let my true thoughts come out, the overall sensation of being played weighed more.

I didn’t feel like sitting in the fall sun now. I packed up and walked home, the feeling hanging over me more than I liked. I thought about every time we’d hung out, the times Gage was there, and it was all tainted. She wanted Gage for herself, and now all the conversations were viewed in a different light. Every moment of our friendship had been fake.

I’d get over this, I knew it, but it still put me in a funk. My music blared in my ears, and I dragged my feet up the stairs and to my room, tossing my bag on the floor and falling face down onto my bed. I needed a little pout.

We had a rule in my house where we could pout for an hour. We had our feelings and did what we needed to, but then the pout had to end, and you moved on. Some pouts were longer—like Gage breaking my heart—but the friend betrayal hurt a different part of my soul.

Something soft landed on my calf, and I spun around, finding Quentin frowning at me and gently squeezing my leg. I moved the headphones to the side, waiting for him to speak.

“Have you been crying?”

I nodded.

He blinked, his grip on my leg tightening. “Is it because of Gage?”

I shook my head.

He seemed to relax but only for a second. “Let me help.”

“Weird way of asking what’s wrong.”

“Your eyes are red, and I really dislike seeing pain on your face.” His cheek twitched. “What do you need?”

“I don’t know. I’m having a little pout.”

His lips curved up on one side. “I can see that. You’re cute even when you’re face down in the middle of the day sniffling.” He ran his hand up my thigh, over my ass and back, patting me gently. “Tell me. Why are you having a little pout, Logan?”

“Because.”

“Oh, wow.” He flipped me onto my back and took the headphones off my neck. “Are you intentionally being a brat right now?”

“A little bit.”

He narrowed his eyes and assessed my face. “It wasn’t…I didn’t cause these tears, right?”

“Oh, Quentin, no.” That snapped me out of it. I didn’t want him feeling any sorta way about this. “Not at all.”

He sighed in relief. “Then who has my girl crying?”

My girl.

My temporary girl, he should’ve said.

My throat swelled as tears threatened again. I hung my head, but he tilted my chin to face him, his strong fingers gentle yet firm. “Rat Queen came up to me and Jordan today and uh,” I swallowed. It was mortifying to learn the truth. “She basically told me she was jealous of me being friends with Jordan and dating Gage, that I didn’t deserve to have them in my life.”

Quentin’s entire body turned to stone. “That’s fucking bullshit.”

“Jordan went off on her, like scary Jordan.”

“As she fucking should.”

I placed my hand over his, his anger on my behalf soothing me in a way I wasn’t prepared for. “Now that Gage doesn’t want her, because she was truly just the other woman, she was trying to become friends with Jordan again. Not me…she hated me, Quentin. I don’t get it either. I thought we were friends…”

“Hey. Hey. ” Quentin cupped my face, holding my gaze as he said, “You are amazing, Logan. The best friend, the best person to be around. The world has shitty people in it, and I hate that she made you feel this way. You deserve all the best things in the world.”

My tears slipped out again, and Quentin bent down to kiss them. He kissed both sides of my cheeks, the gentleness of his touch making me cry more.

“Shh, let me take care of you. Show you how incredible you are.” He kissed down my neck, whispering how good my heart was. “Their choices are a reflection of them, not you, baby.”

I shuddered when he slid his hand up my shirt, teasing my nipples as he nibbled my collarbone. My heightened emotions made every touch feel more intense, more special. He slid my shirt off and undid my bra, his gaze never leaving my face as he quickly removed his shirt as well.

“I can’t get enough of you, Logan.” He crawled over me, caging my face between his arms as he stared down at me. His eyes were so intense, so serious. His erection dug into my core, but he made no moves to grind against me. He was delicate. “You are the brightest light, the strongest soul.”

His words were healing. My chest swelled, and he kissed my mouth in the sweetest, most heartbreaking kiss. I’d never forget this kiss, the words he spoke, and how he held me like I mattered so much. He kissed down my chest, sucking one pert nipple into his mouth until I arched my back and moaned.

“Perfect.” He switched to the other nipple, then flattened his tongue and licked down my stomach. “Can’t get over how you react to me, how responsive you are to me. It’s like this body was made for me.”

I shuddered as he removed my pants and underwear, his gaze soft and hungry. “Quentin?”

“Yes, baby?” He stared at my face, his pupils dilated with lust but his focus all on me.

“You’re being too sweet right now.” I pushed up onto my elbows, then sat up. “I don’t want gentle. I don’t want to be treated fragile. I want you to lose control and ravish me. Help me forget these horrible feelings.”

“Hm,” he said, his chest heaving as he swallowed. “You…what?”

I crawled up to him, cupping his face. “I’d never felt comfortable enough with anyone to ask this before. I want it… rough.”

“Even though all I want to do is take care of you right now?”

I nodded. “This is taking care of me. I’m voicing what I want. Something I never used to do.”

Sweat pooled on my forehead, my pulse racing. My stomach twisted with unease, worried that I was being too demanding, expressing my opinion too much. He could tell me no, that I was stupid, and he could completely shoot me down. But I was done remaining silent and wanted to speak my mind.

“I love hearing you ask for what you want, Logan.” His voice thickened with need. “You tell me if you need anything to change, yeah?”

I nodded, my stomach swooping as Quentin’s gaze smoldered. His words validated the part of me that had been shattered for so long. My opinion did matter, my voice was important. My throat swelled. “I will, I will, I promise.”

“So eager for my cock.” He reached between my legs, parting me as he hissed. “So fucking wet for me.”

“I am. I am, Quentin.”

His teeth came down on his bottom lip as he fingered me slowly, in and out, his thumb grazing my clit as he held my stare. “I’m going to get you so close to coming, then stop. I’m going to do it so many times you’ll be out of control for me. Then, when I slide my cock into you from the back, you’re going to scream out my name.”

“Holy shit.” I trembled with want, with need, with how much I trusted him. “Yes, yes. ”

“Such a greedy good girl.” He grinned as he swirled my clit. “I can feel your muscles tensing. Are you already close to coming?”

“A little, yeah.” I was breathless. “The way you look at me…it makes me wild.”

“How do I look at you?” He slid another finger into me, his voice totally normal, like he wasn’t finger fucking me at all.

“Like I’m the sexiest thing ever.”

“You are. Now, lay back.”

He pushed me down to the bed, his fingers never leaving me as he bent down and sucked my clit into his mouth. I moaned as pleasure zapped along my skin. “Quentin,” I gasped.

“No, you don’t come yet.” He pulled out of me, continuing to suck my clit until my thighs trembled. I pulled his hair, needing to grab onto something as he growled into me. “Fuck, I like that.”

“This?” I pulled his hair again, and he sucked me faster. “Oh god, I’m so wet.”

“It’s all over my face, and you haven’t even come yet. So filthy, Logan.” He grinned up at me and yanked my legs to the end of the bed. “Do you have any toys, baby?”

“T-toys?”

“I’ve been dreaming about you getting off at night, thinking about me.” He pinched my clit, causing me to moan again. “Do you have any toys?”

“Y-yes.” I nodded at the drawer with my stuff. “In there.”

He kissed my pussy once before he crawled toward the drawer and pulled out my vibrator. “Fuck yes.”

“Holy shit. I’ve never…”

“Used toys with a partner? Oh, baby.” He laughed softly as he undid his pants and pulled out his cock. “You’re going to suck me until I hit the back of your throat while this is inside you. But you’re not allowed to come.”

“Oh my god.”

I had never been so turned on in my entire life. Everything was on fire. My skin, my nipples, my core. I slid onto my knees and took his cock in my hands, but he stilled me.

“Put this inside you.”

I swallowed hard, not feeling an ounce of nerves or shyness as I slid the vibrator inside me. “Oh my god,” I moaned, unable to remain straight up. The deep sensation had me squirming, moaning even louder as the pleasure overtook me. “I can’t…”

“Suck me, Logan and do not come.”

I took him in my mouth, the sensations overwhelming. The vibrating caused an explosion of pleasure, the orgasm right there. I held back. I focused on the feel of his cock, the thickness and smoothness of it. He groaned hard when I took him all the way back, and he dug his hands into my hair.

“Your mouth is filthy for such a sweet girl.” He pumped into me. “God, you’re taking me so deep. I can’t wait to feel your tight pussy around me.”

I moaned, leaning into the vibrator at the right angle. “I’m going to?—”

“No.” He pulled out of my mouth and grabbed the vibrator. “Not yet.”

He pulled it out, and I almost cried with need. I wanted to get off. I needed it more than breathing. “Please, Quentin.”

“Almost, baby. You’re doing so well. Not crawl on the bed with your ass up.”

I’d do anything he asked at this point. I was a mess of pleasure and need and desperation. “What are you?—”

He smacked my ass with one hand, then kissed it with a little nibble. “Been wanting to do that for a while. Was that what you wanted?”

“Yes, yes it was.” I buried my face in the sheets, moaning so loudly I had to sound like a wild animal. “Quentin, I need you to fuck me. I won’t survive this.”

“You will.” He leaned over my back, teasing my nipples with his fingers as his erection dug into my ass. “God, your body is insane. My perfect girl.”

I trembled, reaching between my legs to ease the burning. He stopped my hand. “Naughty girl. Do you need me that badly?”

“Yes, yes, yes I do.”

He rubbed the tip of his cock against my entrance, the urge to rock back against him so overwhelming I saw stars. “So fucking perfect, baby. You can come now.”

He slid into me from the back, and I screamed. The pleasure hit me so hard and so fast I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t see or hear, just felt him as he fucked me hard. “Oh my god, oh my god!”

Sweat pooled between our bodies, and with each thrust, I gripped the sheets harder. He deep grunts and the sounds of us having sex filled the air, our scents combining with the smell of sweat, and I trembled with need. He put his weight on my back, gripping my ass as he thrust harder and harder. “Yes, Logan, you’re taking me so well.”

“More,” I panted, arching my hips up. “More of you.”

“God, you’re perfect.” He bit down on my neck, a content growl coming from his chest as he did what I asked. He fucked me hard and fast, each penetration hitting my G-spot to the point I saw stars behind my eyes. I could only feel him, his body on mine, his breath on my neck, his cock filling me up.

“Come on me,” he demanded, right as my body seized.

And I came. I came the hardest I ever had in my entire life, the orgasm going on and on as I bucked and thrashed on my bed. He held my hip and was relentless, not letting me catch my breath for a second as the orgasm stopped.

“Such a good fucking girl, I can’t last with how your pussy clenched around me.” He smacked my ass and thrust a few more times before he groaned my name. “Goddamn it, Logan, yes, baby.”

When he stilled, he rested his forehead on my back, the sounds of our heavy breathing filling the air.

I had never felt more satisfied in my entire life. My eyes watered for a different reason this time—he was perfect for me.

“Are you okay? Holy shit, Logan.” He laughed as he pulled out of me, kissing my back again. “Tell me you’re okay.”

“My soul left my body.” I remained faced down, unable to move. “Best orgasm of my entire existence.”

“Same, baby.” He rolled me over and stared at me with so much awe, his green eyes glowing. “You are amazing.”

“Uh, so are you.” I blushed from his attention, and his smile softened. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Being exactly what I needed.” I kissed his cheek, my stomach filling with butterflies as the truth was right there. I think I love you.

He smiled, kissed my nose, and then rolled off the bed. “I’ll clean you up, then we’re having mush.”

Yeah. I was in love with a guy who’d never be with me.