Page 28 of Two Guys One Puck (Gods Versus Monsters Hockey #2)
TWENTY-EIGHT
KTYTOR
December
“ Y ou’ve had a lot of losses this season.” My mother’s tone is harsh, and that’s the way she means it.
“Compared to last year, yes. The team is adjusting to the new coach. It happens.”
She wouldn’t take excuses. She doesn’t believe in them. “It’s not the team I’m talking about. You’re being shut down.”
“Not often.”
“You should be beating the Gods.”
“I know.” My words are stiff.
“Not many draftees even play in the NHL their first year. You have to be the top.”
“I am.” I’d sent her the article about Seaborn and me to give her hope, but his name angered her.
“What if that guy gets drafted before you?”
“Seaborn won’t. He’s a defender and enforcer. Those types are never drafted first. The center is.” It’s the reason I play this position.
We’ve always had a plan. As soon as I started showing promise my parents pushed for it.
“That’s not what the papers say.”
I rub my forehead. “This stuff is sensationalized here.”
“Your brother is taking odd jobs.”
That liar!
“He promised me he wouldn’t do that. I’ll speak to him.”
“Inflation is killing us with the war. Everything is expensive and rent keeps going up, and it helps. He’s young. No one wants to hire an old woman.”
“He said you got a second job?”
“No. I’ve tried.” She frowns. “I can’t find anything else. He’s young. It’s fine.”
“He hasn’t dropped out of school, right? He’s too smart to be doing that.”
“He’s not. He’s fine. It’s only a little time.”
“I’ll check with my agent again on that new contract.” I don’t know what else to do. I feel fucking helpless and even guilty because I’m not there with them. I’m here playing hockey, and it’s easier, and I know that. I’m not waking up to air sirens or alarms anymore.
“Good. I think it would be helpful.”
We finish up talking, and I want to sink into a hole by the time we are through. I hate that money could solve our issues, and I have a future within my grasp, but I can’t access it yet. The stress is going to eat me alive.
I keep going over what else I could be doing, but there is only one thing I come back to.
Him.
Seaborn.
Is my relationship with him making me less?
I don’t believe it. I’d never let myself be less on the ice. For anyone.
“Were you talking to your mother?” Happy asks, poking his head into my room.
“Yes.” I put on a face for him. I didn’t need to get into it. I don’t want any of my teammates concerned about my motivations or playing.
“Is it weird to switch back and forth between languages?”
“No, is nice to remember mine. Is a little like going home.” I closed my eyes, trying to hold on to the feeling.
“What are you doing for the break?”
“Taking a lot of naps.” I laugh because that is the part I’m looking most forward to. “And training harder.”
“You sure you don’t want to fly home with me?” Happy is sweet, but I don’t want to tell him I can’t afford a ticket. Most of the kids who go to Myth League schools come from a lot of money. They don’t even begin to understand the privilege.
“I’m sure. How else will I train more than the rest of you so when you get back, all of you will feel lazy and slow?”
Happy grins. “At least I don’t have to play against you.”
“You are lucky for that.” I pat his cheek. “Enjoy your holiday.”
Happy finishes packing, Sleepy left early this morning, and soon, I’m all alone to think about the conversation with my mother, but dwelling on it is giving me a headache.
I haven’t seen Seaborn in weeks, but we’ve talked daily since the weekend he went home. We FaceTime, too. More than I expected.
Ktytor: You make it home yet?
Seaborn: Not until tomorrow. We have a game tonight.
Ktytor: you got stuck with a Sunday game? That sucks.
Seaborn: It’s not bad. Only one day later and I don’t have far to go like other guys.
Ktytor: I guess so.
Ktytor: What plans do you have for your break?
Is it weird to ask? Sometimes I feel like we’re friends and other times I don’t know what we are. Maybe overthinking is my problem.
Seaborn: Going home. I’m going to work as much as possible to get some extra money and it helps my uncle out. And training of course.
Seaborn: I don’t know how some guys don’t train at all during the break.
Ktytor: They have their priorities wrong.
Seaborn: No kidding. But my break will be pretty boring. What about you?
I regret asking. It hadn’t come up before that I stay here, and now, I get to deal with his pity.
Ktytor: I stay at school.
Seaborn: what? You don’t fly home?
Ktytor: Even if I could afford a ticket there are no flights.
Seaborn: Are you serious?
Ktytor: It’s dangerous to fly into a war zone.Airlines won’t do it.
Ktytor: Since businesses like money, they don’t do dangerous things.
Seaborn: Right. I’m an idiot.
Ktytor: At least you’re an adorable idiot. Is okay.
Seaborn: I’m going to be so used to your insults by the time we play again you won’t be able to get under my skin.
I roll my eyes but smile against my will.
Ktytor: You misjudge my ability to find new ways to piss you off.
Seaborn: Okay, that’s the fucking truth.But I’m choosing to see them as terms of endearment.
I bark out a laugh.
Ktytor: So you’ve decided to live in delusion?
Seaborn: You don’t seem to mind my delusions when we’re having FaceTime sex.
Ktytor: My cock overrules everything else.
Seaborn: I’m glad your cock likes me.
Ktytor: Do I get to watch you come again tonight?
Seaborn: We’re in a hotel, but I’ll be home tomorrow.
Ktytor: This is sad. How will I sleep without enjoying your cock?
Seaborn: I’ll send you a picture to keep you company.
Ktytor: really?
He’s avoided sending a lot of pictures, so nothing gets leaked. If one of our phones were to get hacked, it would be bad so this is big for him.
Seaborn: I trust you.
Ktytor: We know you’re stupid. Is okay. I’ll take the benefit.
Seaborn: If you don’t want it.
Ktytor: You already promised.
I adjust myself. I love and hate how much my body responds to him.
Seaborn: I don’t remember promising…
Ktytor: If you don’t send it the consequences are on you.
It takes him a long time to reply. Maybe I went too far. But he’s got to know my humor at this point, right?
Seaborn: Why don’t you come stay with me for like a week?
He can’t be serious, right? My lungs stop working. I want to, but I know I can’t.
Ktytor: Don’t you have to work.
Seaborn: You can come with.
Seaborn: If you want. No pressure. I’m sure my uncle won’t balk at the extra help. He’s begging for it.
Ktytor: How would we explain this to your family? You don’t think it would make them suspicious?
There is no way he’s out to them. Not with how much he’s been in his own head about it.
Seaborn: I’ll tell them you’re a friend with nowhere to go for the holiday. They’ll want you to come. No one should spend break alone.
I can’t take the hospitality. Guilt stirs in my chest. What would my mother think?
Ktytor: Train tickets have got to be expensive with everyone traveling.
An image comes through of a train early the next morning.
Ktytor: It’s only cheap because it’s at five in the morning. Christ.
Seaborn: Should I buy it?
Ktytor: I can’t let you do that.
Seaborn: I have a little cash left over from a deal I got. I don’t mind.
Ktytor: I really don’t think that’s a good idea.
He shouldn’t be spending his money on me.
Seaborn: I want to.
Seaborn: I want to see you. This is for me.
The asshole does know me.
Seaborn: You can pay me back after you pick up a couple of shifts with my uncle.
A little extra money would be nice, even if it’s just a bit to send to my mother for Christmas, but she wouldn’t like me taking charity.
Especially from the guy I’m competing against to be drafted.
Our teams are already in place to be the top two contenders for the Frozen Four. I’d have to lie to her about it.
I’m about to tell him yes when an email notification pops up, and it’s the train ticket.
Ktytor: You didn’t even wait for me to say yes.
Seaborn: I’m selfish. I miss your lips around my cock.
Ktytor: How much do you miss my mouth?
Seaborn: I guess you’ll have to get on the train in the morning to see for yourself.
Ktytor: Fuck you.
Seaborn: I miss you too.