Page 19 of Two Guys One Puck (Gods Versus Monsters Hockey #2)

NINETEEN

SEABORN

A m I?

I’m not sure I know up from down. I thought I knew everything about who I was and laying here with this dick, I don’t have any post orgasm clarity. I want him to stay.

“I think it means we like to get each other off. Does it need to be more?” Does he really not feel anything? I know he’s cool with it and doesn’t do regrets but this is clearly not a convenience thing at camp. We keep doing this.

“I think it does.”

“Are you having an identity crisis over there?” Ktytor trails his fingers up my arm.

“Maybe.” I glare at him when I see the little smirk he’s wearing. “How can you always fucking tell?”

He circles a finger at my face. “You wear it. You wouldn’t last two weeks in Ukraine. They’d eat you alive.”

I hate it, but I won’t admit it. I don’t like that he can keep his feelings to himself, but I can’t. I want equal footing, especially with him. I’ve worked my ass off to get there on the ice.

“Don’t take it so hard.” Ktytor rolls to his side, and I swear he only has two modes: snarky and sexual. Maybe that’s why this is easier for him.

“I’m not taking it hard. I’m trying to figure out why this keeps happening.”

“Because I’m hot and give great head? I don’t know.”

“There are lots of hot people actively trying to sleep with me,” I throw back, sure that can’t be it.

“Is because you have to work for it, isn’t it? Women are too easy.”

I shoot him a flat look. “I prefer easy.”

“Do you?” He doesn’t sound convinced.

“Maybe not, but I’m sure I didn’t need to switch sexes and fuck a dude I hate.” I pull a pillow over my face, not even sure why I’m having this conversation with him of all people. I need to talk to a friend, but I can’t because they are all teammates, so I guess I need a therapist.

“You’re allowed to have experiments in college. It doesn’t have to be so… What do you call it? Maybe something under the ocean?”

I take the pillow off my face looking at him for a moment. “Deep?”

He pats my cheek. “Yes. Maybe be less deep, and you’ll enjoy life more.”

“I don’t know how you can be so nonplussed about all of this.”

“What is this?”

I close one eye, trying to come up with another word. “Unbothered.”

“I try not to ruin my orgasms with my brain. That’s silly.” He has a point, but I don’t need to let him have any unnecessary wins. “I need to shower. You didn’t clean me up like a good boy.”

“You could have cleaned yourself up.”

We climb out of bed, and I make sure my roommates aren’t home before we go to the bathroom. Archangel has the ensuite because his family owns the building, thus saving mine and Wolfe’s ass on rent, so we share and don’t complain.

“This is a nice place. Why can’t you afford a hotel?” He leans against the counter.

“My roommate’s family owns the place.” I turn on the water and wait for it to get warm.

“They just have a second house in the city?”

“They are southern and rich. They bought it when he started going to school here. Said it was a good investment.” I feel the water again. “Want to go first or want me to?”

“You rich people with your wasting water. We showered together before and you had my dick in your mouth. I think we can do it without it being more gay.”

I flip him off but don’t stop him as he gets in the shower behind me. I pass him a washcloth and douse mine in soap because I’m already a little sticky, which doesn’t bother me as much as I thought it would. Fully lathered, I step under the spray again and turn to find Ktytor staring.

“What?”

“You’re making me want to suck your dick again,” he says so calmly, I almost think I misunderstood.

“Why?” I glance down, getting a little hard.

“You’re hot, Ronan. Surely you know it?”

My name on his lips again catches me totally off guard but I like it. I want him to keep saying it. It’s so much more personal than what everyone calls me. “I thought you weren’t into guys.”

“Can you not recognize when another man is hot? Surely you aren’t so insecure you can’t.” He wears a little smirk, like he’s trying to bait me.

“I can admit it, but this is different. You said I look hot enough you want to blow me again?” I barely believe it as I say the words.

He doesn’t deny them. “Okay? I watched you in the shower at camp, too. You didn’t seem to mind.”

“So you are into guys.”

“I don’t care. I like this, yes?”

I nod.

“Stop over complicating it and let me suck your dick again.”

“In here?” My cock is way ahead of my brain on the whole not caring thing.

“I don’t see the problem.” He lazily drags the washcloth over his chest, then down his abs.

“I’m not stopping you.”

He finishes soaping himself, then joins me in the water, mouth finding mine. I grab his jaw, keeping him there. Maybe this is fine, or maybe it’s just him. All I know is it feels good, and I don’t want it to stop.

“What’s your name?” I ask when we break apart to breathe.

“You don’t know?” he says, clearly amused.

“No. How do you know mine?”

“I used Google. You should try it.”

I give him a flat look. “I’m in the shower. Just tell me.”

“Leontiy.”

“Lee-on-ty,” I repeat, seeing how it tastes.

“Better than most Americans.”

“I like it.” I drag him forward so I can kiss him again.

“Seaborn! Where the fuck are you hiding!” Wolfe’s voice booms through the house.

“Fuck.” I break the kiss. “I’m going to have to handle them.”

“You live with your goalie?”

“Yeah? Why?”

“I’m sorry. That’s a terrible lot in life. Even if it is a nice place,” Ktytor laughs.

“It’s not that bad. Except that he’s nosy and always in my business and never leaves me alone.” It sounds bad when I say it out loud.

Ktytor gives me a knowing look. “I feel bad for you. Truly.”

“Why are you in the shower?!” Wolfe says from right outside the door.

I put my finger to my lips. Ktytor rolls his eyes but nods.

“Because I needed to shower. What do you want?” I call.

“You said you were coming out with the team!” Wolfe yells back.

Had I? I think back to the locker room, but there’s no way I had. I’d wanted to see Ktytor. “I told you maybe.”

“And then you blew us off!” Wolfe sounds hurt.

“What he means is we are worried that asshat got in your head, and we don’t want you to be alone.”

Ktytor claps a hand over his mouth, fighting a laugh.

I glare while answering, “I’m good.”

“You don’t sound good.” Wolfe isn’t going to believe me. He’s drunk. I can hear it in his tone, and when he gets on something, he’s like a dog with a damn bone. He never drops it.

“I’m honestly good. But I’m not getting out of the shower.”

“Don’t make me come in there! I am not afraid to see your balls.” Wolfe pounds on the door to let me know he’s serious.

Ktytor lifts an amused brow.

“Don’t you fucking dare. For fuck’s sake.” I step out of the shower and grab a towel, wrapping it around my waist. I make sure the curtain is fully closed before opening the door enough so he can see me. “See? I am fine. Can I get back in my nice shower now?”

Wolfe narrows his eyes. “Who the fuck do you have in there with you?!”

“What?” I ask, panicking. How does he fucking know?

“There are two pairs of sweats on the vanity,” Wolfe points out.

“What?” Archangel says from behind Wolfe. He shoves himself under Wolfe’s arm to get a better look. “Are those men’s?!”

Both of them stare at me.

“It’s none of your fucking business!” I say and try to close the door, but Wolfe puts his big ass goalie foot there, and there’s no fighting him. Not at his size.

“Are you gay?” Archangel whispers like he’s seeing me in a new light. “Those are men’s sweats.”

Fuuuuuuck.

“No!” I protest, stomach in my throat.

Archangel raises both brows. “I’ve been out to you since our freshmen fucking year, and you didn’t tell me?!” Hurt seeps into his tone.

“It’s just a fucking thing that happened, and I don’t fucking know what it means. I don’t want to fucking talk about it.” My tone makes them back off a little.

“You don’t have to explain yourself.” Wolfe puts his hand on my arm. “And you don’t need a label.”

Archangel side eyes him but nods. “He’s right. Sexuality is fluid. It doesn’t have to mean anything if you don’t want it to.”

I look at the ceiling. “I don’t want to do this right now. Can I go back to my fucking shower?”

“You’re not going to tell us who the lucky guy is?” Archangel lifts up on his toes like he’ll be able to spot something behind me.

“I’d rather not, thanks.” I close the door, and this time, they let me.

They start whispering behind it, but I’ve got another issue to deal with as Ktytor is standing there with the curtain pulled back, smirking at me.

“Don’t you fucking dare,” I whisper.

“You don’t want me to meet your friends?” Ktytor asks playing innocent.

“No.”

“You won’t be able to sneak him out of here!” Wolfe calls. “And the walls are paper thin, so I can hear everything you say!”

“I’m going to put a bag over his face,” I shout back.

“Are you that ashamed?” Ktytor isn’t offended. He’s amused.

“Is that an accent?” Wolfe asks, probably with his ear to the goddamn door.

“You weren’t wrong about him being nosy. Christ.” Ktytor isn’t even trying to be quiet.

I lean against the counter and put my face in my hands, trying to figure out what the fuck I’m going to do.

“Maybe we should just rip off the plaster.”

“The what?”

“The plaster… Band-Aid?”

I blink. “You can’t be serious.”

“Why not?”

“Do you want this to get out?” I ask, sure he’s lost his damn mind.

“You trust your friends, right?” He shrugs like this isn’t a possibly career-ending big deal.

I throw a towel at him and then open the door. “Happy?”

Wolfe’s mouth drops open and he gasps.

“What?” Archangel asks and then looks around the frame of the door. “Holy fucking damn.”

“Are you in danger?” Wolfe asks.

I roll my eyes and shove past him. “Fuck off.”

“So you treat everyone this way? Should I be flattered?” Ktytor says from behind me.

“Don’t you fucking start.”

We get in my room, and I close the door and lock it, then turn to press my back to it for extra fucking protection.

“Are you staying or going?”

Ktytor cocks his head. “You want me to stay?”

My heart is still in my throat and I realize I do. “You said you don’t have to be back until morning…and you did say you were going to blow me again.”

“Is that before or after you put the bag over my face?” he says with attitude.

“Before.” I drop my towel.

“What about them?” He lifts his chin, referring to my roommates, while flicking his tongue over his teeth.

“They can listen to you gagging on my cock if they want.”