Page 45 of Trees Take the Long View

I stood naked and free in the cool air, and then shifted. Once again entirely wolf, I sniffed the currents of air, orienting myself by scent and awareness. There was no one nearby, and I had been informed this was a safe place, but that natural wariness still filled me, the knowledge that I was on someone else's territory without really having their permission.

I didn't know which marking scent would belong to Mr. Ralstead, either, so I would just have to be careful not to accidentally mark over any older scent just in case it was his. That would be a very rude thing to do. At last my itchy paws got the best of me and I headed out, trotting softly and silently among the trees, pathways, and jagged edges of miniature cliffs and rocky areas.

The land was clearly well-loved, but aside from a few paths, and a statistically unlikely low number of prickly plants and poison ivy, it had been allowed to remain almost totally wild.

A few hearty souls lived here and there, as well: rabbits, chipmunks, squirrels, wild mice and voles, a groundhog family. They had to know wolves lived here, but they'd found their niches somehow, anyway. As I trotted down a path, I thought about what Freddie had said that time, "Afraid of you? Don't make me laugh."

Maybe I wasn't as big and bad as I thought I was, but still. I was pretty badass.

I explored from the darkness, tentative at first, into the early rays of dawn and the birdsong that greeted it. I wandered and sniffed the air and ran and leaped and nosed around and generally had an extremely pleasant time. I hadn't been able to be a wolf as much as I wanted to lately, and mostly it was a relief to really let down my hair—or fur, I suppose. Underneath it all there were things I could be thinking about, different perspectives on life, but none of them mattered just then. The most important thing was letting myself be fully wolf and live in the moment, and experience this glorious new landscape.

No other wolves greeted me during this time, although I smelled some recent trails from more than one. When I got a bit tired, I found a fallen tree limb and stretched out on top of it for a doze, listening with all my heart to the sounds of life around me, the leaves moving softly in currents of air, the birds and creatures going about their small, busy lives. I was alone, and not alone; I slept.

Dreams slid in and out of me, flashes of moments and times and feelings about the future. Laughing together with my mate. The sorrow of a mission beyond our hope to salve. Long drives and christened hotel rooms, busy days and dragging flights, the companionship that grew with age and experience and of always being a team of two, reliant and connected. The way our hair would turn gray, ahead of others our age, and that he would be annoyed about his, I would be vain about mine. I suppose graying hair means different things, among wolves and non-wolves.

It was a good life ahead of us. But there was something I'd let slip, tried to forget, and pushed to the side, so I could concentrate on this good life, before it was really my due.

I needed to talk to him about it soon. I would need his help in that, as in all else.

Most of all I could feel the settling comfort and ease together that would come with time, age, and experience. It was a true thing. We already cared for one another, but there were parts of us that didn't trust each other: me, with this thing I'd held back. And him, that our being together was actually a good thing, and not a mistake because he travelled too much.

He knew he couldn't settle down for anyone, even me, if settling down meant doing something else and not being on the move anymore. He'd be miserable. But it made him feel almost less than human, knowing he couldn't change, even for love.

There had been someone once—

I woke up before I could get more of that. Perhaps it was for the best. I didn't want to spy on him, even in my dreams.

I thought about that, yawning and stretching, my claws scrabbling against the fallen log's bark. Dreams like this, and my occasional gut instinct hunches, told the truth. It wasn't as though I always or even often knew things, yet there were impressions I'd learned to trust.

Certainly I didn't have warning, help, or insight into most of my life's big moments. I wished I'd had some warning not to work with the cops, for instance. But when I had a dream like this, I believed it. I rested in this feeling of what the future held, of me and Dean, together, saving the day whenever we could, saving the world one small action or leap of faith at a time.

He was good, and beautiful, and not broken for being who he was. I would have to make sure I told him that, showed him that, in every way I could till he believed it.

My beautiful Dean.

Footsteps. I knew in my bones it was him. He couldn't stay away for long, either. I got in another delicious yawn, then rose to greet my mate.

He was carrying my folded clothes, and a smile touched his face when he saw me. "Hello, gorgeous."

Hello yourself.I greeted him with a long stretch like a bow, surprisingly formal this morning. It was fully day. I must've been out here for hours. Before he'd spotted me, his face had looked worried or sad. I looked up at his eyes. Yes, there was still something weary in them, weary and doubtful and sad.

I wished I knew how to comfort him, or even what was wrong. Someday he'd believe that he could tell me these things, but maybe today wasn't the day. It didn't feel like it would be any help to prance around him or lick him or get him to scratch my ears, so I just shifted back. He held out my clothes piece by piece as I dressed, silently, in the forest. The birds had gone quiet, no doubt keeping an eye on us. A sleeping wolf was one thing, two awake men was quite another.

"Ready to go back?" He studied my face.

"Sure." I hooked an arm through his and we started back. I couldn't help giving him a couple of soft little smiles as we went, proud and content that this was the man I'd spend my life with. The dream had left me certain, not that I hadn't been mostly certain before. And if it was just a dream, and not a true glimpse of things to come, well, I could choose to believe it anyway. And then work to make it true.

"You're very quiet," said Dean. It felt companionable to walk beside him, just right. Things were as they should be. "You need more forest time as a wolf, don't you?"

"Yes. I'd like it best if you could come with me sometimes when we're on the move. But I know you don't always have time. Just...sometimes. So I can shift."

"Of course. There's no reason we can't make time for that, if it's important. Or even if it's just enjoyable. Do you need me for backup, so you're safe in unfamiliar areas?"

I nodded, and leaned against him a little, glad he understood. He didn't seem to think I was weak for needing him.

It felt so good to have a mate. He was what I'd always wanted, I think. He hadn't changed who I was—curbed my restlessness, changed my itchy paws—no, but he ran with me.

We paused for a kiss in the forest. Birds had begun to sing again. It was a kind of paradise here, in the shade on what was shaping up to be another hot day.