Page 30 of Trees Take the Long View

"Are you holding off tonight to be a gentlemen and not hurt me? Because I see us as mates and you...aren't sure yet?"

"Um."

"Weareboyfriends. I do like you. Yes, I'm hoping to make it permanent, but I'm willing to start here."

He gnawed at his lip, expression torn. Finally he said, "It would be cruel, to have sex when it means something to you that it doesn't mean to me."

"Doesn't it, though? Are you a rough and reckless playboy who only wants me for my body?" I batted my eyelashes at him, trying to make it just a tad less serious. Even though really, it was the most serious thing in the world.

He considered this, as if worried it might be possible. "I guess not. But I'm still not sure if I can do forever—"

"Okay. You don't have to be sure. But I already know you don't see me as just a sex object or I wouldn't be the one asking for this."

He laughed, soft and slightly breathless, looking excited as he realized we might be going to have sex after all. I hadn't realized I'd have to talk him into it...and that he wanted me to. Here I'd thought I was being a gentleman, and he'd thought he was.Screwed over by manners.

"Okay, well," I said slowly, holding him by the hips, close to me. "I would very much like to sleep with you. I'm hoping it will turn into forever."

Not just hoping, but betting the farm on it. I thought I had a pretty good idea of how he felt about me by now. But to be honest, it wasn't going to hurt any less if he walked away without sleeping with me first. Not that I really thought either of us could just walk away without seeing where this went.

"And if it doesn't?" he said. "What about then?"

"We'll cross that bridge if we come to it. I'm sure I'll survive."

I could see him thinking about it, wanting to agree, wanting to have me...and I could see the moment he decided "no."

He drew away from me gently, regret in his eyes. "I'm sorry. I think we really should focus on this case before we, well, do anything to distract ourselves."

That was an excuse, but I let him have it. I concentrated on my breathing: even, calm.

My dad says the mark of a man is how he handles blue balls.

I supposed I was going to find out what kind of man I was.

"Okay. Yeah." I tried to work on my breathing.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I'm sorry." He looked like he was going to go away and hide in wretched shame, which I couldn't allow.

"Hey. Don't be. It's your call." I really hoped he made it soon, but nobody had died yet of wanting sex and not getting it. I took another deep, steadying breath and willed myself to think non-sexy thoughts. I could survive this. I could survive the wait. "We'll solve your tiger case before I ask again."

I really hoped I wasn't promising more than I could fulfill.

I was the one to walk away, slowly, calmly, and shut myself in the bathroom. I bit my fist hard, holding back a whimper, and then took a very long shower.

#

I think he was still feeling guilty about it later, so I did my best to be upbeat and not act like I was bothered at all. No way did I want to guilt or nag him into sex before he was ready. But man, did I wish he was ready soon.

Maybe he never would be and had a good reason for holding out. Maybe he really was being a gentleman because, despite my certainty and hope, he didn't intend to ever be my mate, and felt it would be cruel to let me get too attached to him.

Well, joke was on him, then: I was already attached.

At any rate, we had a perfectly nice meal together, although I couldn't tell you a minute after we left the restaurant what I'd actually eaten. I know there was food, and I was hungry when I got there and full when I left, but everything else was a blank...everything but him. He filled my consciousness, and it was getting bloody distracting.

We drove out in his current rental car to talk to the first "victim." By which I mean, the woman who'd bought a rare tiger and then had it disappear on her, possibly because it was a shifter, possibly not.

Its being a shifter, and able to open a cage that a tiger couldn't have, was the current working theory for why a white tiger had been sold three times in this area, to three different wealthy animal collectors, and never once stayed more than three nights without escaping. There were also no suspicious animal sightings in the street that would normally go along with an actual big cat escape.

Either the big cat seller was selling the same animal multiple times and somehow stealing it back each time without leaving a hint as to how, or a big cat shifter was involved.