Page 29 of Trapped (Sheppard & Sons Investigations #6)

Nathan

W hen I’d made breakfast earlier that morning, I’d made a pot of decaf but realized I couldn’t tell Ashley. Keeping quiet was killing me, and I worried I’d slip up.

Lucky for me, Lady Luck was on my side. Overhearing Ashley mention her baby to Emily at Grannie’s solved all my problems.

Well, one of them .

I’d felt bad for startling her, but I couldn’t let the opportunity pass, so I’d asked “You’re pregnant?”.

Then we had a moment. An intense, rock me to my core, turn my world upside down, emotionally charged moment.

So intense that everything around us disappeared.

Until Jamie’s badly timed interruption.

Part of me wanted to kick his ass for killing the moment. The other part wanted to thank him for reminding me I was there for Ashley’s safety, not my feelings.

Escorting Ashley to my truck, I placed my right hand on her lower back, a choice that was professional and personal. I scanned for any signs of suspicious activity as we walked.

Seconds after I closed my door, Ashley said, “I’m sorry.” Her voice was barely loud enough to hear over the country music playing on the radio.

I turned it off. “For what?” There was literally nothing for her to apologize for. Not even for keeping the secret of her pregnancy, which was literally none of my business.

E x cept I want it to be my business . I wanted everything about her to be my business.

“For not telling you the truth.”

She didn’t owe me an apology, but I appreciated it.

I nodded. “It’s Finn’s?” I asked, knowing the answer. Ashley acted as though she played fast and loose, but I knew better.

In a raw moment during our first night in Vegas, Ashley admitted to feeling lonely and wanting what her friends had. I’d felt the same way.

I thought it’d be hard finding a woman to connect with on a deeper level. Until I responded to the cheesiest pickup line and came face-to-face with the most gorgeous woman I’d ever met. One smile, one laugh, one touch, and I was hooked.

If only I hadn’t needed to lie.

If only I hadn’t been undercover.

If only things hadn’t gone so life-threateningly wrong. I gripped the steering wheel as the familiar signs of panic set in and forced myself to focus on Ashley.

Ashley nodded. A tear made a slow trek down her perfect face.

“I don’t want his baby,” she whispered. “I never want to see him again.”

It’d be a nightmare trying to keep Finn away from her and her child, but she had a team of trained professionals who’d protect them, including me.

“Hey, it’ll be okay. We’ll find a way to make everything okay.” I was already talking as if we were a team. A couple.

“How can you say that with everything going on?”

“Because you’re tough, Slick. You’ll rise above his bullshit. And I won’t let him hurt you.” I promised, glancing at her still-flat belly. “Either of you.”

Instead of thanking me, she cried some more.

“Talk to me,” I said, reaching over to put my hand on her shoulder. I wanted to hold her hand, but she was wringing it in her lap. “Tell me what’s going through that beautiful head of yours.”

She choked out a laugh, clearly doubting my sincerity.

“I’m not beautiful, I’m puffy.” She wiped the tears off her face.

“You can be both.”

“I’m sorry. I wanted to say yes. To give you a second chance.” She sniffed. “But how could I?”

Sensing she had more to say, I waited.

“What man wants to date a pregnant woman?”

Me . Becoming a father wasn’t on my radar, but I wasn’t opposed to it.

A big, loving family was something I’d never had, but wanted.

It wouldn’t matter if the kids were mine by DNA or adoption.

I’d love them, provide for them, and keep them safe.

The way I always imagined my parents would’ve done, had they lived.

And I want it with Ashley .

We hadn’t even gone on a proper date, so how could I admit my feelings without sounding crazy?

Calmly. Honestly. Carefully.

Later .

“Ashley, you’re not dumb. I’d still like a second chance, despite how different it looks.”

“You want to date someone who’s unemployed, lives with her grandmother, and oh, that’s right, is pregnant with another man’s baby?” The laugh that escaped her lips was a little scary. “Are you insane?”

None of that mattered. I could easily support her. And would, if our relationship turned into more. If she’ll let me . But that wasn’t what she needed to hear. “You’ll find another job, and you’re taking care of your grandmother.”

I felt her staring at me, waiting for me to address the third part of her question.

Taking the time to find the right words proved useless; when I opened my mouth, the blunt truth came out. “You’re fucking amazing, Ashley, so, yes, I still want to date you.”

She mumbled something, but instead of asking her to repeat it, I asked, “Do you still want to be seen with me despite the huge scar running down my face?” It was a stupid question, since she hadn’t shied away from it, but I asked to prove a point.

“What kind of stupid question is that?” she shot at me.

I laughed. “Ashley, how I feel about you doesn’t change because of a minor hiccup.”

“A minor hiccup?” She laughed so hard she snorted, reminding me of our nights in her hotel room. “A minor hiccup? That’s what we’re calling pregnancy now?”

“What do you call it?”

“Under the circumstances, a life sentence.”

I assumed the life sentence was about Finn, not about being a mom.

“You don’t have to go through it alone. Give me a second chance. Let me prove I can be here for you.”

She sighed. “Is it really a second chance if you didn’t actually do anything wrong?” A soft smile played across her lips.

“In this case, yes. I need a second chance to take you out. To wine and dine you.” She laughed. “Okay, just dine you.” It was my turn to laugh. “You know what I mean.”

“I do.” She turned to face me. “Are you sure?”

“I am. But we have to talk. Make sure we’re on the same page and set some ground rules.”

“Ground rules?” she asked.

“For starters, no more secrets.” I set the same rule she had the last time we talked. Now that the big ones were out in the open, I didn’t think it’d be a problem. I longed for our return to easy, flowing conversations.

Which meant I needed to find the courage to share more than I had. More than I feel capable of.

One step at a time , my therapist’s voice whispered in my head.

“Okay. What else?”

“You’re not allowed to insult my girl anymore.”

“Your girl?”

Yeah, because I already knew I wouldn’t give her up now that I had her.

“Is that a problem?”

Her shy smile brought out more of my caveman characteristics as one word flashed through my mind. Mine .

“No.”

“Anything you want to add?”

“Yes, but can we get lunch first?” Her stomach growled.

I’d forgotten she and Emily had planned on having lunch at Grannie’s, but my interruption cut their lunch date short.

“Of course. What do you want?”

She hummed as she thought about it. “Pizza.”

“Pizza it is. What toppings should we get?” I didn’t get to finish before she answered. Hawaiian.

That had to be the hormones talking. Pineapple on pizza was disgusting.

“Now I’m rethinking things.” I squeezed her leg, so she’d know it was a joke.

“What? Pineapple on pizza is delicious.”

“It’s a crime.”

“What do you put on yours? No, let me guess. All the meats.” She said meats like it was a bad thing.

“I’ll have you know I like sausage, peppers, and onions on my pizza.”

“Ew, gross.”

“Which part?”

“Sausage. It doesn’t belong on a pizza.”

“Says the girl who wants pineapple.”

Ashley typed the address of her favorite pizza place into my phone.

“I think I’ll get wings, too.”

There was something infinitely sexy about a woman who wasn’t afraid to eat. The image of her devouring the cheese fries we were supposed to share the night we met flashed through my mind. It’d taken every ounce of control I’d possessed not to lick the cheese off her lips or suck it off her fingers.

We rode in comfortable silence until I ruined it. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure,” she answered, sounding slightly hesitant.

“Do you think Finn’s the type of guy who’d hurt a child?” If she said yes, I’d do everything in my power to keep him out of their lives.

“Not physically, but he’s so self-centered I don’t think he’d hesitate to use our child as a pawn to get what he wants.”

“That’s not any better.” I’d seen too many kids have their childhoods destroyed because one or both parents treated them as weapons to hurt the other.

“I know.” She paused, fiddling with her phone. “I need to show you something, but you can’t get upset.”

Which pretty much guaranteed I would. “I can’t promise that.”

“Please?” I nodded. “Finn’s been texting and calling me.” A low growl formed in my throat. Before I could plot his demise, she said, “I meant to tell Jamie, but I kept forgetting because other things kept happening.”

She promised to show me the texts later, when I wasn’t driving. As predicted, I was upset, but it was directed at Finn, not Ashley.

Upset wasn’t quite accurate. I wanted to rip him from limb to limb.

Ashley said, “I have an appointment with Dr. Greenfield on Wednesday.” From the way she said the doc’s name, I assumed he or she was the family doctor.

“Pregnancy test?” I asked.

She nodded. “Is it bad that I’m desperately hoping I’m not?”

“No.” I’d feel the same way in her shoes. “Are false positives common?” I wasn’t trying to be an ass, but I knew nothing about home pregnancy tests and couldn’t ask the internet while driving.

“No.” More tears tracked down her perfect but pale face as she turned away.

“Ashley.” I squeezed her thigh. “It’s okay to be scared.”

She nodded but didn’t look back.

I reached over and turned her head so she was facing me. “Please don’t hide from me, okay?”

She wiped away her tears. “Okay. Sorry.”

“And don’t apologize. I can only imagine how overwhelmed you feel.”

I insisted on paying when she ordered a large Hawaiian pizza, claiming Gran liked it too, and two dozen chicken wings.

“Did you seriously just order a diet drink?”

“What? I don’t want to get fat.”

My eyes trailed down her body, taking in every detail. She wasn’t fat. She was gorgeous, fit, and…

Ashley cleared her throat.

“Nathan, stop staring and tell me what kind of dipping sauce you want.”

“Does that mean you’ll share your wings?”

“Maybe.” She grinned and tossed her hair over her shoulder with enough sass to make the girl behind the counter giggle.

“Ranch is fine.” I said before adding my small pizza to the order.

Lunch with Ashley and Gran was an exercise in patience and control.

Ashley was back to her feisty self, and Violet was even less subtle than before in her attempts to hook us up.

Little did Violet know, we were halfway there.

If I had my way about it, I’d be kissing Ashley before the night was over.