Page 18 of Trapped (Sheppard & Sons Investigations #6)

Nathan

U nable to sleep, I relieved Jack early Saturday morning.

I’d just finished a protein bar when Jamie called to tell me I’d have the afternoon off because he, Jack, and AJ would be at Ashley’s.

Along with their girls, as they liked to call their significant others.

Certain he’d chosen video chat to watch my reactions, I put extra effort into maintaining a neutral expression.

Jamie volunteered the reason when I didn’t ask; Ashley was hosting a small gathering. I wasn’t invited. Was that why she’d visited them, to plan the party?

No, she’d looked upset when she left. Enough so that she didn’t see me when she walked to the car or notice me following her.

“Is Ashley okay?” I asked. “She looked upset driving to your house last night.” Ashley had spent several hours at Jamie’s. Which I only knew because I’d parked outside until she left.

He raised an eyebrow.

“What, did you think I’d let her drive around without protection?”

“No, but your assignment is to watch the house.”

“My priority is Ashley.” My tone was rough; my expression, rougher. My actions weren’t earning me any brownie points.

“Good,” he said, with a nod. Or maybe they are . “Ashley came to visit Emily. I wasn’t privy to their conversation.”

“Did she seem upset when she arrived?” I asked, hoping he’d share at least a little, knowing I wanted to keep her safe.

Jamie leaned forward, rested his elbows on his desk, and clasped his hands together. “Nathan, Ashley’s a friend, and I won’t betray her trust.”

I nodded. I appreciated his loyalty but was frustrated by the lack of information.

“We have a quick job for you this afternoon.”

Hating the idea of leaving Ashley, I ground my back teeth together before asking for the details.

The job was an easy security detail, assisting another company, which was low on manpower.

I’d be filling in for Eric, who got called into work.

Like the other part-time employees at the company, he was a local cop.

He’d recently been promoted, and this was his last week at SSI.

“I need to know you can stay focused.”

That hurt. I was a US Navy SEAL; getting the job done, no matter what, was part of who I was. Losing focus wasn’t an option. Quitting wasn’t an option. Failing wasn’t an option.

Except I’d lost focus in Vegas and failed. No, even if I hadn’t met Ashley, my fate was sealed when the undercover agent ratted me out.

Squaring my shoulders, I answered the only way I could. “Yes, sir.”

“Good. I’ll text the details.”

“Call me when you leave Ashley’s,” I ordered. Then I added “please” so I wouldn’t sound like a total jerk.

I’m really not a bad guy . A little rough around the edges maybe, but I wasn’t usually an asshole.

He shook his head. “Only because you said please.” Jamie paused, his hazel eyes honing in on mine.

I forced my tone to be less confrontational when I asked, “What?”

“Figure your shit out. It’s obvious you care about Ashley, but we won’t tolerate your attitude.”

I had a feeling the only reason they hadn’t fired me was because my attitude stemmed from my feelings for Ashley.

“Yes, sir.”

So much for my fresh start.

Get your head on straight, Blaze

Blaze was the man I’d worked my ass off to be. The man I wanted to be again. The man I’d lost touch with in Vegas.

The man I can be again.

My job was to guard the entrance to a swanky party and make sure no one without proper identification entered the venue.

The hardest part was ignoring the picture-perfect people in their expensive three-piece suits and floor-length gowns, staring at my scar and whispering behind their hands.

I wondered if I’d ever get used to that reaction.

The four-hour detail was uneventful; always a good outcome in our line of work.

Not bothering to wait for Jamie’s call, I parked outside Ashley’s. Something about the flower situation felt hinky, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Finn struck me as the type to harass someone because he felt entitled to their attention, but playing games didn’t seem like his style.

I figured him to be the type of guy who’d want credit for his deeds.

Unless the black roses were a message only Ashley would understand.

No, she would’ve told Jack, and we’d all feel more confident in our assumption that Finn had sent them.

Was Finn unhinged enough to hire someone to terrorize her? Was his plan to scare her, then swoop in and play the hero?

Not knowing his motive made me nervous. Because I trusted my gut, I refused to ignore it. Consequences be damned.

Her ex could escalate without warning, and while I trusted the Sheppards to protect Ashley, I still needed to be here. How much trouble could I get into? I was off the clock. Besides, it couldn’t hurt to have an extra layer of protection.

Good thing too, I thought, staring at the black sedan with dark tinted windows parked down the street. The tint on the windows prevented me from seeing any identifying features.

Except for the license plate, which I wrote down and sent to Doug, asking him to look it up when he had a chance.

When I rolled down my window, I heard laughter from the backyard, just before a chorus of voices yelled, “Gran!” followed by more laughter.

Once again, an emotion that felt a lot like jealousy flowed through my system.

Knowing it was a bad idea to call attention to my presence, but wanting to warn the guys, I texted Jamie, Jack, and AJ.

They must’ve held a mini-meeting because it took forever for me to get a response. A response in the form of Jack walking to my truck two minutes after the suspicious sedan drove off.

Jack put his hand on the roof and casually glanced around. “Where is it?”

I nodded my head in the direction the car had been. “It’s gone.”

“Any reason to suspect it’s a foe, not a friend?”

“My gut.” He smiled but didn’t say anything. “The same car was here when Finn was. The dark tinted windows made it stand out.”

He nodded. “You get the license plate?”

Holding back my wiseass remark about knowing how to do my job, I said, “Yes.”

“Any chance you’re going back to the office to run it?”

“No. I sent it to Doug.” I hated knowing I might not hear back until morning, but I couldn’t justify pulling him away from his family.

“You know you don’t need to stay, right?”

“I know.” How could I explain my need to Jack when I couldn’t explain it to myself?

Liar . You know why; you just won’t let yourself accept it because you know you can’t act on it.

He looked around again. “If you insist on staying, you might as well join us.”

“That’s not a good idea. Ashley doesn’t know I’m here.”

He raised an eyebrow, the same expression I’d seen on Jamie’s face.

“She knows.”

Of course, they’d told her. “Right. It doesn’t change the fact that she doesn’t want me here.”

“But you’re not leaving?”

“No, I’ll cover the front. Go, have fun.”

He shook his head, clearly confused by my actions. Or maybe not. Given his fierce protectiveness of Meg, he’d understand my desire to protect Ashley.

Just because she didn’t trust me didn’t negate my feelings. Keeping Ashley safe, even if she wouldn’t acknowledge the threat, was the least I could do.

“Suit yourself. You know where we are if you change your mind.”

Jack wasn’t gone more than a few minutes before Ashley walked out the front door and marched over to my truck.

“What the fuck, Casper. You just going to sit here staring at the house like a fucking creeper?” The sexy flush on her cheeks had me thinking with the wrong head.

“I’m not staring.” Lame response, Blaze .

She rolled her eyes so hard her lashes created a breeze.

“Look, I don’t want you here, but Jack said you won’t leave.”

Once again, I appreciated their loyalty to Ashley but hated that it was at the expense of their loyalty to me.

Who am I kidding? They have no loyalty to me . I’m an employee. And a pain-in-the-ass one at that.

“I’m here to make sure you’re safe.” In addition to the three armed, trained professionals in her backyard.

“Like you care.” She huffed as she crossed her arms over her perfect sun-kissed chest.

For two heartbeats, the world ceased to exist as we stared at each other. Pain and frustration were evident in her eyes. Desire and determination in mine. At least that’s what I felt.

I wanted to tell her I cared, that I couldn’t stop thinking about her. But I didn’t know how to do it without creating a bigger mess.

I couldn’t, at least not here.

Wanting to give her the staring contest win, I looked down.

Long seconds passed as I sensed her staring at me. When I finally looked back up, I caught her staring at my scar and confirmed my suspicions.

Sympathy had replaced the pain and frustration in her eyes.

Fuck that. I didn’t want or need her sympathy. Before I could say anything, someone called Ashley’s name.

An older woman using a walker for support walked out the door.

“I’ll be right there, Gran,” Ashley called over her shoulder.

Her grandmother kept right on walking.

“Gran, you can wait—”

Her grandmother cut her off. “Nonsense. I’ll be right there.”

Ashley sighed. “Just go. Please,” she begged before walking away.

Her pained, pleading voice almost destroyed me, but I didn’t have time to act.

“Ashley Nicole York, you walk right back over there and introduce me to the young man everyone’s talking about.”

Great .

As Gran, as Ashley called her, walked towards my truck, I couldn’t help but notice how much she and Ashley looked alike. It was like getting a glimpse of the future. A future I’d never see.

I’d crossed too many lines; my time here was limited. Sorry Kroupa . His reference wouldn’t mean shit at SSI after I crashed and burned. He’d given me a glowing recommendation, and I wasn’t living up to it.

But I could. I just needed to stop fucking up and clear things up with Ashley. I’d have to settle for polite acquaintanceship, or maybe friendship, if I wanted to stay in Weatherford.

I’d have to decide whether staying here would be worth the pain of seeing Ashley knowing I could never have her.

I looked in the mirror and adjusted my ball cap before stepping out of my truck. There was only one way to meet the elder York—with respect. Respect I couldn’t give sitting behind the wheel.

“My, my, aren’t you a tall one?” Gran said as she stopped in front of me.

I chuckled as I removed my cap. “I’m Nathan. It’s nice to meet you, ma’am.”

“Oh, don’t give me any of that ma’am crap.”

“Yes, ma’am, Mrs…” Was she a York too?

“Violet York. Ashley’s daddy was my son.”

I remembered Ashley telling me her parents had died when she was young, and how her grandmother raised her.

“It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. York,” I said, holding out my hand.

She shook it. “Everyone calls me Gran.”

I nodded. No way in hell would I incur the wrath of Ashley by calling her grandmother, Gran. Looking over Gran’s shoulder, Ashley’s scowl confirmed I’d made the right call.

“Come join us. We have beer and plenty of food,” Gran offered.

“Thank you, but I’m work—”

She cut me off. “Working? Here? Why?” She might be using a walker, but her mind was sharp. Her stare felt like she was trying to penetrate my mind with her eyes.

Shit. I’d dealt with a lot of unexpected situations in my life, many of them dangerous, but none had felt as dangerous as this conversation.

“He needed to report in after finishing a job, right, Nathan?”

“Right.” I nodded, grateful for Ashley’s quick thinking because I felt like a deer in the headlights under her grandmother’s watchful eyes.

Terrorists with rifles in the Middle East, no problem.

Little old lady using a walker in Weatherford, scared stupid.

“Well, you can just march your handsome self to the backyard and report to the boys in person.” It was easy to see where Ashley got her feisty attitude.

I couldn’t very well say no to Mrs. York, but accepting meant pissing off Ashley. It was a lose-lose situation for me.

Fuck my life. I erred on the side of not pissing off Ashley’s grandmother.

“Yes, ma’am, Mrs. York,” I corrected myself.

All sass disappeared once I agreed. “Ashley, be a dear and go inside and fetch me more iced tea.”

If she’d had the ability, Ashley would have shot daggers out of her eyes and shredded me to pieces. “Yes, Gran,” she said before walking away.

“Now, Nathan, be a gentleman and help an old lady cross the street.”

Wanting to keep all my body parts, I didn’t remind her that she hadn’t needed my help the first time she’d crossed.

“Look, everyone,” Mrs. York announced as we walked through the gate to the backyard. “Nathan decided to join us.” She said it as if I’d had a choice.

Surprised faces turned to see me holding the fence gate for Ashley’s grandmother. I took my time making sure it latched as I closed it.

“Glad you could join us, Blaszek,” Jack said, a shit-eating grin on his face.

AJ raised his beer. “Welcome to the party.”

Jamie handed me an open, cold bottle of beer. “Sorry, she overheard me telling Ashley.”

“Don’t worry about it.” I couldn’t blame him for telling Ashley, or for her grandmother overhearing. I tapped my bottle against his. “Thanks.”

“She’s a force to be reckoned with,” Jamie said.

That she was. Watching Ashley’s grandmother in action was like getting a glimpse of the future Ashley. A future I was disappointed I wouldn’t get to witness.

“If you’re hungry, we have burgers, hot dogs, Meg’s bacon mac and cheese, salad, and snacks.”

Too unsettled to eat, I passed.

As we sat around the backyard talking, I kept to myself. Observing the people I worked with, and their families, as the conversation flowed. I envied the easygoing relationship they shared. Even Blake, the newest member of the group, seemed to fit in.

Not like me. They didn’t exclude me from the conversation, but that didn’t mean I felt like part of the group.

My eyes refused to stray from Ashley for longer than a few minutes. Even as I listened to the others, I found myself turning back to watch her.

A neon sign flashing over my head would have been more subtle.

There was sadness in her eyes, easily overlooked as she played the perfect hostess. She joked and laughed at the right times and added her own sassy or sarcastic comments often enough that no one seemed to notice.

Except me.

But I couldn’t say anything. I’m part of the problem . I still had a lingering feeling there was more to her sadness, but if I brought it up, it’d cause a scene, piss her off, and ruin the evening.