Page 17 of Trapped (Sheppard & Sons Investigations #6)

Ashley

D uring breakfast Friday morning, Gran droned on about how nice Jack was and how I needed to find a hot—she said handsome, but who says that anymore?—protective man like him. I agreed. I wanted a man like Jack, but didn’t think it’d happen. There weren’t many single men like Jack left in the world.

It didn’t help that I wanted a man like Jack, but chased men like Nathan. I wanted the gentleman but craved the bad boy.

Finn was neither. I meant for him to be nothing more than a short fling, but our fling turned into dating. He wasn’t exactly a gentleman, but he was nice.

Typical of the guys I’d dated, his nice demeanor faded after we agreed to be monogamous. And Finn definitely wasn’t the bad-boy type. It turned out he was a spoiled, self-centered egomaniac.

The sex wasn’t even that good. It didn’t suck, but I’d had much better.

Do not think about AJ . To kill those thoughts, I pictured Nathan.

The guy who’d looked like a bad boy and acted like a gentleman.

Then disappeared like Casper the Fucking Ghost. Knowing he was working undercover didn’t make it better.

He should’ve walked away when I hit on him, not lied to me and led me on. That’s what hurt the most.

I could forgive him for something bad happening, causing him to stand me up. But the lying, the games, the pain. I couldn’t forgive that so easily.

Needing to work on my proposal, I said. “Why don’t you two go watch TV or knit while I work?”

“Okay dear. Come on, Prince, let’s give Ashley her space.”

Prince meow-yelled at me before following my grandmother to her favorite chair.

I tried working, but couldn’t concentrate. My period was late enough to elevate my concern from nervous to worried, and now that I’d accepted the possibility I couldn’t stop thinking about it, making it damn near impossible to work on my proposal.

“Gran, I’m going shopping after I meet with Emily. Do you need anything?”

“How about some tuna?” she asked, sounding innocent but looking anything but as she rubbed Prince between his cute, fuzzy black ears.

“Prince has plenty of food. You don’t want him to get fat, do you?”

She didn’t answer, but he did. I interpreted his long, loud meow to mean he wanted tuna.

“It’s okay. She didn’t mean it. You’re perfect just the way you are.” Apparently, Gran thought his meow was because he felt insulted.

I shook my head and laughed. Gran bonded with that cat faster than crazy glue dries on a finger.

Was she really that lonely? Guilt washed over me. I should’ve visited more.

When I left to meet Emily, I glanced in the rearview mirror far more often than necessary. I didn’t notice anyone following me, but that didn’t stop me from looking around before getting out of my car.

Nothing stood out. Thank God . I had enough on my plate and didn’t need to add Finn stalking me to it. My sigh was too loud, even in the busy parking lot.

Settled in at Grannie’s, Emily showed me her website designs for the Wyatt Foundation. Ideas started flowing about how I could tie the social media accounts to the new site. Together, we’d create the perfect brand for the foundation.

“Did you redesign the logo?” I asked.

“I did. Do you like it?”

I ignored my phone vibrating in my back pocket.

“It’s great. It fits the future vision of the foundation,” I answered.

Emily was great at her job and always went above and beyond for her clients.

Sometimes, to the detriment of her health.

Like when she’d get so focused on a project she’d forget to eat.

No wonder Jamie wanted her to take extra time off.

“Once they approve it, can you send me the graphics?”

“Of course.”

I told her my ideas for the socials, and she loved them.

They still needed refining, but I was off to a good start.

My goal was to finish the proposal early and have Emily critique it for me, so I could put my best foot forward.

I didn’t want to abuse my friendship with the board members by turning in less than perfect work.

“Em, can I tell you something that you can’t tell anyone?” She’d tell Jamie, but he’d keep the secret.

“Of course, is everything okay?” she asked. Her concern was palpable as it took up space between us.

“I’m two months late.”

“For what?” Her eyes widened in shock as it clicked. “Oh!”

“Yeah.”

“Have you taken a test?”

“No, I’m buying one on the way home.”

“Finn?”

“Unfortunately. And before you ask, yes, we used protection.”

“Does he know?”

“Hell no. I’m not giving him a reason to come back here.”

“You’ll have to tell him.” She sounded as unhappy about it as I felt.

“I know, and I will. But not until I know for sure.” There was no point in telling him until I had taken the test. If it were positive, I’d verify the results with a doctor. Then I’d tell him.

“Are you okay?” I knew she meant with the idea of being pregnant.

“Do I have a choice?” I did. There were ways to change the outcome, but I couldn’t bring myself to consider them.

Emily hugged me for a good long time, letting her love and support flow into me. I allowed myself a moment to feel the fear and let the tears fall.

“Thank you.” No matter what, she’d have my back. She kissed my cheek when she pulled away.

“I love you, Ash, and I’ll be here for whatever you need.”

“Love you too, Em. And thanks. God knows I’ll need help if I get a positive.” I’d need a shoulder to cry on, but no point dwelling on that yet.

Having told Emily, I was eager to take a pregnancy test. So eager that I walked back to my car without worrying about being followed.

Before I buckled my seatbelt, my phone vibrating again reminded me to check my messages. They weren’t that different from the last string he’d sent.

Hey baby. I miss you.

I know you miss me too, so why aren’t you answering me?

Don’t you want your old job back? I know you’re still unemployed.

When did you get a cat? You know I’m allergic.

What the fuck. How does he know about Prince? I made a mental note to tell Jamie and Jack about Finn’s messages. After I take my pregnancy test.

I peed on the stupid stick, washed my hands and set a timer on my phone. Then I hid the stick in case Gran needed the bathroom before my timer went off. I couldn’t wait in the bathroom with nothing to do but stare at the stupid tiny display window.

I wore a path in the beige carpet in the bedroom I grew up in, biting at my thumbnail as I waited. Because I was working so hard on not thinking about the test, my alarm scared me when it went off.

Practically running, I went to the bathroom and locked the door. I stood there with my hand on the cabinet handle, staring in the mirror. I needed to know, but I didn’t want to know. Which wasn’t entirely true. If I weren’t, I wanted to know.

Praying for a dash, not a plus sign, I opened the door and grabbed the stick.

[ + ]

Fuck. I’m pregnant .

Fuck! Tears rolled down my cheeks as I sank to the cold linoleum floor.

This has to be a nightmare. I pinched myself, hoping I’d wake up in Dallas and my old life. What did I do to deserve this? I wasn’t perfect, but I was a good person. How had I earned such bad karma?

Then, the other set of questions started.

How would I pay for all this? Where would I live? I was single, unemployed, had no insurance, and currently lived with my grandmother. What kind of mother would I be?

A bad one.

After throwing myself a pity party, I picked myself up off the floor, wrapped the test stick in tissue and threw it away.

Just to be extra safe, I tied off the trash bag and replaced it with a new one.

No point in taking chances . Gran deserved to be told, not to find out be finding a dirty test stick.

But not yet . I’d tell Gran when I was ready.

I washed my face in cold water to help reduce the red puffiness.

I barely remembered making dinner, but I must have because we ate. Somehow, I got through dinner without my grandmother picking up on my stress. Nah, Gran knew me too well; she chose not to say anything, trusting that I’d talk to her when I was ready.

After cleaning up, I messaged Emily.

Can I come over?

Of course. Want dinner?

No, I ate with Gran. Thanks.

ETA?

I’m leaving now.

Emily took one look at me when she answered the door and understood. Pulling me into a hug, she said, “I’m so sorry, Ashley. I know this isn’t what you want.” One hand rubbed my back while the other held me tight, providing the comfort I needed.

“I want it, just not with Finn, and not when I’m unemployed, single, and living with my grandmother.” My laugh sounded manic.

“You have the Wyatt job.”

“You know what I mean. Contract work is fine, but it won’t pay for an apartment or doctor’s visits.” Or the expenses of raising a child. I groaned at the thought.

“Come sit. Jamie’s making us tea.”

“Did you tell him?”

“No, I figured this was a secret he’d be okay with me keeping.”

I hugged her. “Thanks. Now that I know for sure, I guess you can tell him.”

“At least we’ll have our babies together.” Emily tried to add a positive perspective.

“That’s the only positive part. Our kids will grow up like brothers.”

“Your what?” Jamie asked, shock evident in his voice.

My eyes rounded. So did Emily’s. “I, um, turns out I’m pregnant too,” I stuttered.

“Is this a congrats or an I’m sorry kind of announcement?” Typical Jamie, wanting to give me what I needed, despite looking lost and confused.

Definitely a sympathy announcement. “I didn’t plan it, and it’s Finn’s.” Just the thought of having his baby made my stomach turn.

“How about I give you a supportive hug and not say anything?” Jamie asked.

I stood and let him hug me.

“We’ll do whatever we can to help,” he whispered before breaking the hug.

“Thanks.”

“Did you tell Gran?” Emily asked.

“Don’t make me think about it.” She wasn’t a prude or overly judgmental, but she’d worry about me.

“You’ll tell her when you’re ready,” Emily said.

“Is there anything I can do right now to help?” Jamie asked.

When I shook my head no, he left us alone.

“He won’t tell anyone,” Emily said, wrapping her arm around my shoulders.

“I know. This is just... It’s too much.”

For the second time, I broke down and cried.

When I was all cried out, I used half a box of tissues to clean tears and snot off my face.

Thankfully, the lemon tea tasted almost as good cold as it would have hot. I didn’t have the energy to warm it up, and with my luck my trembling hands would spill it when I tried to take a sip, and I’d get burned.

“Thanks.” A million problems occupied my mind, but I was too exhausted to sort through the clutter.

“Of course,” she said. “How far along are you? Has morning sickness started yet?”

“About six weeks, maybe. And no, thank God.” Emily’s morning sickness wasn’t too bad, but poor Meg had it morning, noon, and night. Jack was beyond sweet, taking care of her and making sure she had what she needed. Jamie would take care of Emily the same way, if she needed it.

Who’ll take care of me?

Certainly not Finn. I’d have to do this alone. My hand instinctively went to my belly, ready to protect the new life growing inside me.