Page 7

CHAPTER 7

Billie

M y brain was all foggy. That was the reason I was giving myself for why I was letting Toxic just take control of the situation. I stared at the road, watching the dust billow out from around the tires as we went. Blinking seemed to be too much of an effort. Which meant he was probably right to be driving me. It wouldn’t help anyone if I got into an accident on the way.

“Thank you,” I said again. I wasn’t sure how many times I’d said those two words to him over the last day, but it didn’t seem adequate enough. He was saving my bacon. Knowing he was there during the day while I was gone was a relief. No one was going to come snooping around while I was at the hospital with him and Butcher watching over the place.

If someone did something crazy to my animals, or set the place on fire or something, I wouldn’t know what to do. The idea made nausea roll through my stomach. I swallowed hard.

“You okay?” he asked, concern heavy in his voice. “You just turned a bit green.” Without me needing to respond, he pulled the truck over on the dirt road.

I pushed open the door and stumbled away from the vehicle, gulping in fresh air. What was wrong with me? I held up my hand as he came into my peripheral vision. “Don’t.”

It was bad enough that he was seeing me all out of sorts and dazed, I didn’t want him watching me throw up, too. There were some humiliations a woman just couldn’t handle.

Just like the other times, he completely ignored me. A strong hand slid through my hair and lifted it away from my face. His other was rubbing circles on my back. “Just puke if it’ll make you feel better,” he said, as I tried to hold back the retching.

Easy for him to say. He wasn’t the one bent over on the side of the road about to lose the few bites of breakfast that’d gone down. I swallowed hard, breathing in deeply.

“Better?” he asked after a few moments when my willpower won out over my rioting stomach.

I nodded, straightening up. My breath caught as his hand slid from my hair and gripped the back of my neck. His skin was warm and his grip was comforting. “I’m okay. Sorry.”

“No need to be sorry. We can hang out here as long as you need.” His deep brown eyes were searching my face and I was worried that he was going to see too much.

That was the last thing I needed. I kept men at a distance for a reason. Most were easy. They didn’t care to get to know me on a personal level. No more than I wanted to know them. That wasn’t the case with Toxic. I’d nearly swallowed my tongue when I’d come into the kitchen and found him there, shirtless, talking with his friends.

Those tattoos on his arms went up and over his shoulders, onto his chest, and across his back. His jeans rode low on his hips and the V of muscle that disappeared underneath them was well defined and the thing dreams were made of. The man had muscle stacked on muscle and it’d been hard to keep my hands to myself. Now we were standing here with his hands on me and I wanted to just…lean into him. Let him take some of the pressure and worry from me. But that wasn’t his job. It wasn’t his duty to do anything for me. He was here because Keely asked him to help me.

A thought occurred to me and made the nausea tighten my belly again. What if he and Keely were a thing? Oh my God. Had I been having inappropriate thoughts about my best friend’s man? I jerked away from Toxic, stumbling a little as I went. “Sorry. We should go,” I said. Toxic frowned, his hands reaching out to steady me, but I jumped away from him and bee-lined it for the truck.

He didn’t say anything when he got inside, but I caught the confused look he shot my way. I was all over the place and now I was worried about my friend as well. Not that there was anything between Toxic and I, but I would never want there to seem like it to Keely. And she’d already mentioned something once. Had I missed a clue from her somehow?

“If you need to stop, just let me know,” he told me.

“Okay,” I whispered, staring straight ahead to try to combat the queasy feeling.

The drive was quiet, but Toxic didn’t force conversation. He seemed to realize I needed to focus on not throwing up. It’d just been too much over the last couple of days. I’d be fine once I wasn’t in a rolling vehicle.

He dropped me off at the entrance. He took my phone and tapped at the buttons, then showed me his contact information with his number. Leaning over so he could hold my gaze as I got out, he said, “Just give me a call if you need anything. Otherwise, I’ll be here at four to pick you back up later.”

“Okay. Thanks, Toxic.” I gave him a weak smile. He probably thought I was insane. Maybe I was. I wasn’t exactly acting normal right now.

As soon as the truck pulled away, I was on the phone. “Are you in love with Toxic?” I blurted out as soon as my best friend answered the phone.

“...what?” she squeaked.

“Is that why you mentioned that I liked him?” I continued, trying to hold myself together. It wasn’t going well because my voice was getting higher pitched with each word. I was nearly panicking with the thought. “Because he’s…like…really helping me out. More than I expected. And if he’s yours that’s so beyond inappropriate. I mean, nothing’s happened. I swear to you nothing has, but he-”

“Billie!”

I bit the insides of my lips to hold back the rest of my rant.

“Take a breath.”

I was breathing. “Mmmhhhmmm.”

“I’m not in love with Toxic.”

It was like a horse kicked me in the gut. My breath whooshed out. Guess I’d been holding it after all.

“Are you?”

“Keels, I’ve known the man for a few hours. Of course I’m not in love with him,” I hissed as I walked through the hospital halls.

“Uh huh. The last time I remember you being this way was-”

“Don’t even say his name.”

“Will,” she said at the same time.

I groaned. “Don’t say the name, Keely!”

She laughed. “It’s not going to summon him, Billie.”

“It might,” I muttered, looking around. I didn’t need that asshole appearing around any corners. That would make a shitty situation even worse.

“For someone so practical, you sure are superstitious.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know.”

“Why were you freaking out?” she asked.

I covered my face with my hand and leaned against the wall. Frowning, I pressed it to my cheek. Was my hand that cold? Or was my face too warm? Ignoring that, I sighed. “I don’t know. I’m so confused, Keely. I almost threw up, and he was holding my hair back. And…there was just a minute there where I sort of wanted-”

“Wanted what?” she breathed as though she was hanging on every word.

“I don’t know. Look, you’re sure?”

“I don’t want Toxic,” she said in that way that I knew she was crossing her heart and hoping to die. It was something we’d done since we were younger.

“Okay,” I said in relief. Though I wasn’t sure why, because it wasn’t like I could let anything happen between us. It would be irresponsible and I didn’t have the luxury of extra time to devote to someone else anyway.

“Billie, it’s okay to get involved with someone again.”

My eyes narrowed. “Since when did you start reading minds?”

“Only yours,” she said with a laugh. “Will was an asshole. That doesn’t mean they all are.”

“Just the really pretty ones,” I countered. Her hesitation was loud over the phone. “Is Toxic an asshole?” I gasped.

“No,” she insisted. “But…”

“But what?” I demanded.

“He’s a bit of a player.”

“Oh, I figured that. He’s too beautiful not to be,” I said with a roll of my eyes.

She chuckled. “I’m sure Toxic would be thrilled to hear you calling him beautiful.” Her tone said that he wouldn’t care for it much. Probably too pretty of a word for his overly masculine self. “Well, I’ve always gotten the impression that he’s just been…having fun…until he met the right woman. Toxic is actually a really good guy.”

“Hmmm,” I said in answer. When she started to speak, I cut her off. “No, I can see that though. He didn’t have to come help me out. Or make me breakfast. Or insist I shower and sleep. I just-”

“He what?” she asked, sounding shocked.

“He’s just been helping,” I told her.

“Honey. That’s not helping. Helping is feeding the pigs. He’s taking care of you.”

I knew it, but wasn’t ready to face that reality. “Because you asked him to. Which was why I thought maybe you and him were-”

“We’re not,” she said, cutting me off. “That’s him doing all that. I had nothing to do with it.”

“Why do you sound…smug?” I asked, suspicion coloring my tone.

“Because I think Toxic may have found his old lady,” she said, now sounding gleeful.

“I don’t even know what that means.”

“I know,” she said with a little laugh. “But you will. And something tells me it’ll be soon.”

“ You could just tell me instead of speaking in riddles.”

“Hmmmm, no. I don’t think I will. He’s got this under control.”

“Keels-”

“I love you. Good luck. Give Gramps a kiss from me.”

I stared down at the phone as she disconnected the call. “What the-”

“Oh, you’re back!”

I looked up at the smiling nurse. She was the same one who’d been working this morning when I left to head home. “Yeah. How’s he doing?”

She frowned at me. “He’s resting. Hasn’t woken up again, but the doctor said that’s to be expected. Ummm…Honey?”

“Yes?” I asked. She was so sweet. I’d heard her calling everyone honey as she spoke to them.

“You’re not looking so good.”

I patted my hair. I hadn’t thrown up so I knew there wasn’t anything in it. “What do you mean?”

“You’re really pale and looking a bit green around the gills,” she told me in an unnaturally happy tone as she grabbed my arm and led me into a room. “Hop on up there.”

I climbed up onto the bed, listening to the paper crinkle as I twisted to follow her around the room with my gaze. “What are you doing?”

She popped a thermometer into my mouth before I could close it. “Just checking you out.” There was a little clip on the end of my forefinger and a blood pressure cuff on my upper arm before her words were processed. “Oh, Sweetie,” she said as she pulled the thermometer out of my mouth. “You’re running a fever.”

No. That wasn’t possible. I didn’t get sick. Like…ever. “What?” I whispered.

“I’m going to have to send you home.”

“But my grandpa…”

“Being next to him while you’re sick is too dangerous in the condition he’s in, Honey.” Her blue eyes were warm and full of sympathy.

I swallowed back the tears, but nodded. I’d never forgive myself if something happened to him because of me.

“Do you have someone you can call?”

“I do,” I told her. “Can I have a friend sit with him?”

“During visiting hours, yes,” she told me. “But only family can stay overnight.”

“Okay.” Misery settled in my gut. This was not happening. I needed to be here with him.

She patted my knee. “I’ll step out and let you make that call.”

My hands shook as I pulled out my cell phone. I didn’t want to make this call, but I forced myself to hit the number.

“Billie?”

“Toxic,” I choked out, hating myself for how weak I was being, but this was just another damn thing that was piling on. I was just so tired. “I’m sick. They…they won’t let me stay with Gramps.”

There was silence for a moment before he spoke. “I’ll turn around. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of everything.”

“I don’t want him to be alone,” I told him.

“I know. I’ll handle it, Billie.”

Hanging up the phone, I gave the nurse a wavering smile as I walked out of the room. “My friend is coming back to pick me up. Someone will be here to sit with my grandpa.”

“We’ll just need their name and a signature from you.”

“Okay. As soon as he gets here, I’ll fill that out.”

“You can wait over there,” she said, pointing toward a little waiting room. She handed me a mask that I put on. I understood, people staying in here couldn’t afford to get sick on top of whatever else they had going on. I was hoping I was just a bit run down and that I’d recover quickly enough to be back tomorrow.

“Thank you.” I sat down, dropping my head into my hands. How was this all happening right now? I was a boring girl. With a boring life. Who minded her own damn business. And now I had people after me and my ranch. My grandpa was injured. I was sick. And a gorgeous biker was taking over everything. And secretly? I sort of loved that he was. I wasn’t about to say that quiet part out loud, though. To anyone.