Page 34

CHAPTER 34

Billie

I smoothed my hand over the black and chrome body of Toxic’s bike. “It’s so pretty.”

“She,” he corrected.

Rolling my eyes, I shook my head with a laugh. “Okay. She.”

“Think of her like a horse,” he suggested. He straddled the bike and the bike purred as she started up.

I climbed on behind him and wrapped my arms around his chest. I’d been waiting weeks now to get to ride her. He still refused to let me drive, but this was second best.

He pulled out onto the road and I gave a surprised laugh as he poured on the speed, taking turns that eventually spit us out onto I-10. I was wearing a helmet, he wasn’t, so the wind whipping by was a little muffled at least.

It was like riding a horse. Except where there would have been muscle and warm flesh beneath me was metal. But the feeling of flying was the same. The freedom was there. My laugh echoed in my helmet as Toxic had us roaring down the highway.

After a while, he took an exit and I recognized that we were headed to Sabino Canyon. It was one of the easiest hiking spots in Tucson. If you went all the way up, you’d end up at a waterfall. We parked and I left the helmet sitting on the seat of the bike as we walked.

“Figured you’d want to get away for a bit,” Toxic said, smiling over at me.

It was a beautiful day, hot, but perfect for the easy stroll we were on. There was plenty of scenery on the ranch, but with Warrant and Daryl staying with us there wasn’t as much privacy anymore. Both men were pitching in with the chores though, which gave us more free time together.

“Thanks,” I told him. “I’m usually so busy I don’t have a lot of free time. You’ve given me more of a break than I’ve had in years.”

He nodded, face troubled, though I didn’t know why. Was he upset that I worked so hard? I loved it so I didn’t mind. Or was he thinking about all the trouble that had come stampeding into my life recently? He’d come right along with that trouble so I wasn’t sure I minded that either. “What’s wrong?”

He nodded over to where there were some boulders off to the side of the path and helped me scramble up one. “We should talk.”

My heart leapt in my throat before I had the chance to chide myself for the reaction. He’d already promised me he wasn’t going to cheat on me, or leave me. There was no reason for my mind to go to the worst case scenario when he said that dreaded phrase. “Let’s agree to never start out a conversation with, ‘We should talk,” I said with an uncomfortable laugh.

He chuckled and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “Deal. I want to know about whatever asshole hurt you.”

Well, I had sort of opened the way for him to stop beating around the bush, but jeez. I let out a huff of a laugh. “What?”

“The fucker who cheated on you,” he said, his deep brown eyes narrowed.

“I really don’t want to talk about him.”

“Billie.”

There he went, saying my name in that patient but demanding way of his. It made me melt. It wasn’t fair that he had this kind of effect on me.

“Toxic,” I repeated.

“I need to know.”

“Why? It happened. It’s done,” I said with a sigh.

“Because you’re now worried that I’m going to do the same thing to you.”

He had me there. I had been worried about that.

“We’ll talk about it. Agree that it’s not going to happen that way for us, then we don’t ever have to say the fucker’s name again,” he said, his voice deepening by the end. There was murder in his eyes.

“Okay.”

“Who was he?”

“His name is Will.”

“Will what?”

I gave him an amused look. “I’m not giving you his last name. I have a feeling you’ll feel the same way as Isla.”

The anger on Toxic’s face cleared and he grinned at me. “Did she offer to kill him?”

“Offer, threaten, promise, I’m not really sure,” I admitted.

He chuckled. “I love that woman.”

My brows rose, but I was smiling at him.

“As a friend,” he added.

“She’s your best friend’s girlfriend,” I pointed out. “I know you’re not into her.”

He made a face. “I’m over forty years old. Can we agree not to say girlfriend?”

“What am I to you then?” I teased.

“My old lady.”

It was my turn to make a face. I wrinkled my nose. “That makes me sound old.”

“It’s our term.”

“Then I’ll learn to love it.”

He grinned at me. “It’s the equivalent of a wife for us.”

My eyes widened. “Jesus, Toxic. Seriously?”

“The girls haven’t told you that?” he asked.

“No! I think I’m going to have to have a talk with Dani. She failed to mention that when she was giving me motorcycle club lessons.”

“Probably didn’t want to scare you off since you were already being so skittish,” he pointed out.

“Humph,” I huffed, crossing my arms. I was just playing. He was actually a lot of fun. I didn’t miss the way the women in the groups of hikers were staring at him as they walked past, but he was only focusing on me.

That was a huge difference between him and Will. So was the way he was dragging me over the rock to sit in his lap. He was constantly doing little things that made me feel so secure with him. He didn’t eyeball other women, other than the one time when he was trying to get information. He didn’t laugh at their jokes and find ways to always touch them the way Will had. Of course, I’d really mostly only seen Toxic with his family. But he was proving today that my hunch was correct, he wasn’t going to do those things, ever.

I settled back against his chest and looked out over the desert landscape. I loved it here. “We were young,” I said, getting back to the story I was supposed to be telling. “I should have seen it, but I was too blinded by infatuation. In fact, Gramps tried to warn me, but I wouldn’t listen.”

“What happened?”

His voice rumbled through me, comforting me. “He was always flirting, anytime we went anywhere. But he always said I was being insecure.”

The silence coming from behind me was heavy. Like it had a life of its own, and I knew Toxic was trying to behave himself and not interrupt me by cursing out some guy he didn’t know.

“One day I walked in on him with some woman inside the bunkhouse.”

Now he did swear. “Fucking asshole. What did you do then?”

“I threw them both off the ranch naked and burned their clothes,” I admitted.

Toxic’s laugh burst out of him. “That’s my Lightning!”

“That’s made me a bit…hesitant to trust,” I told him.

“Understandable,” he said. “That little shit had no idea what he had.”

I sighed. “I don’t know-”

“It wasn’t your fault,” he said, cutting me off. “He just knew jack shit about loyalty.”

I turned in his arms and stared up at him. “You’ve already answered this… And you’re already proving that you’re nothing like him, but-”

“I’ll never cheat on you,” he promised again. He didn’t seem the least bit irritated about having to repeat himself. “I’ll dump you before I do that. You have my fucking word.”

I frowned. “I don’t think I want you to dump me either,” I admitted.

His grin was all teeth. “That’s not happening, Sweet Girl. You belong to me. And I’m yours.”

I shook my head, a smile of wonder spreading over my face. “We haven’t even known each other that long…”

“So?” he asked. “What the fuck does time have to do with it?”

“It just seems like it shouldn’t be possible to…” I stopped, eyes widening.

He grinned at me. There was knowledge there in his gaze. He knew what I was about to say. His next words proved it. “Possible to what, Billie?”

I pursed my lips together and shook my head.

“Say it.”

“You’re so bossy.”

He shrugged. “Get used to it. And don’t change the subject.”

I sighed, a bit dramatically because I was back to teasing him. “Fine. It doesn’t seem like it should be possible to love you in such a short amount of time.”

“And do you?”

I rolled my eyes and lightly hit him in the chest. “You know I do. I’ve already told you before that I do.”

“Then tell me again. I want to hear you say it every day.”

All the joking around died away, seriousness settling in its place. “I love you, Toxic.” I paused. “Or should I call you Boone?”

“No. Toxic is better,” he said. “I love you, too.”

I searched his expression. He was completely serious. I almost couldn’t believe it. Not that I didn’t think I was deserving of love. Or of a man like him. It was just that it had been so long since anyone had shown interest I’d sort of thought no one ever would.

He was kissing me before I could think of what to say next. Melting into him, I enjoyed the way it felt to be held by him. “I’ll do my best not to let my baggage get between us,” I told him when our lips separated.

He chuckled. “Don’t worry. I won’t let you sabotage this.”

“I’m not going to,” I insisted. “I just might test your patience sometimes.”

“I expect nothing less, Lightning.”

It was a relief to have the truth out in the open. I knew I could ask him anything about his past and he’d tell me, but I wasn’t sure I was ready to know. Maybe one day, but for now we’d leave it at ‘I knew he was a partier and slept around, but didn’t care as long as he didn’t do that going forward’.

I settled back into his arms and we watched a woodpecker land on a saguaro cactus and start hammering at it. It almost seemed too good to be true. I had my ranch and now I had Toxic. But there was still Fission Solutions and Jonathan Brently to deal with. I knew something was coming, but not today. Not right now. I didn’t want to borrow trouble. I just wanted to enjoy Toxic and this day.