Page 10

CHAPTER 10

Toxic

I glanced over as the door swung open. The guys had left a few hours earlier when we’d knocked off for the day. The barn was a quarter of the way painted. I was fucking glad that Billie had the ladders we needed in order to hit all the high points, because those bitches were expensive.

Not that I didn’t have enough money to pay for some ladders. I had more than I’d ever need, but it was just the principle of the thing. I had ladders back in Wyoming that could do the job. Shouldn’t have to buy more. It didn’t matter that I was in Arizona, not Wyoming. They were still mine.

The guys had spent the entire time asking questions about Billie and giving me endless amounts of shit. Every one of them was now convinced that I was in love with her. Which meant all of their old ladies would be thinking the same. I hadn’t seen any of the women because I’d been here, sleeping in what had to be the guest room, and taking care of Billie. But I knew I wasn’t going to be able to avoid them for much longer.

This was karma for all the hell I’d put my brothers through over the years as they found and fell in love with their women. I’d been happy for them, but I’d given them copious amounts of shit.

My woman walked through the door, smiling, and I damn near dropped the pan of chicken in my hand. Her beautiful brown eyes dropped to the roasting pan. “That smells so good.”

I cleared my throat and set the pan on the stove. “Roasted buttered chicken,” I told her. Glancing over, I arched a brow. “How’s he doing?”

Her eyes softened. Fuck I loved when she looked at me like that. The look in her eyes was sort of a mix of surprise and appreciation that I’d asked something personal of her. I knew with how much she loved her grandfather he had to care for her just as much. Did nobody else ask this woman about herself?

“So much better,” she said, sounding relieved. “The doctor thinks he’ll actually be able to come home either tomorrow or the next day.”

“Have a seat,” I said, jerking my head toward the table. I continued to work on putting dinner together. “That’s good,” I said, responding to her news. “I bet he can’t wait to get back into his own damn bed. No one sleeps well in a hospital. Not with the nurses coming in and out all hours of the night.”

“You sound like you have a lot of experiences with hospitals,” she said.

I heard the question in her voice. Nodding, I brought plates of food over to the table. “My mom was hit by a drunk driver when I was younger. Was in the hospital for a couple weeks while they tried to keep her alive. Eventually, the doctor’s told us there was no hope and that they were just keeping her body alive. Everything else that made her her was gone.”

“I’m so sorry, Toxic,” she said, voice soft. There was silence while I brought everything else and then sat down. “I lost my dad, too.”

“What happened?” I asked, taking her plate and dishing up enough for three meals before setting it back down in front of her.

She gave me a wry smile. “I can’t eat all this.”

“Try.”

She shook her head, but picked up her fork. “He didn’t come back from one of the fields for lunch. He never missed lunch time,” she explained. “I went out to find him. I knew which fences he was riding that day.”

I leaned an arm on the table and watched the regret and sadness flash over her face. She was so expressive. “You found him?”

She nodded, staring down at her plate. “We think a rattlesnake spooked his horse. Threw him.”

I gave her a sympathetic look. “Damn. How old were you?”

“Seventeen, still in high school. Normally that wouldn’t be a big deal, but his head hit a rock. Doctor said it was one in a million odds but it was enough to kill him instantly.”

“Sorry, Billie. That sucks.”

We both ate for a few moments in silence before she blew out a breath. “Do you have any siblings?”

It was my turn for a wry smile. “One brother. He was killed in action.”

She shook her head. “I’m sorry. I’m just not going to ask any more questions.”

I chuckled. “It was a long time ago. It’s alright. My dad’s alive and kicking.”

“That’s good,” she said with a small awkward laugh. “My mom is too, I think. She took off when I was a kid.”

“So you were raised by two men on a ranch?” I asked with a grin.

She laughed. “And now you can see why I am the way I am,” she joked.

Tilting my head, I studied her. “I haven’t known you very long, but I haven’t seen anything bad yet.”

She gave me a droll look. “Just wait. I’ve been told I’m…unique.”

“I like unique. Who the fuck wants to be like everyone else?” I asked.

She went quiet, staring at me, then her eyes darted back to her food. “This is so good.”

I let her change the subject. I got the distinct feeling she wasn’t used to being complimented. Or appreciated by men. Maybe her father and grandfather, but anyone else? It didn’t seem like it. “Thanks.”

She sighed and set her fork down. “If Gramps is able to come home soon, you’ll be off the hook.” She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “I’d still love to have the women and kids come out.”

“Billie, you’re still going to need help for a while,” I pointed out. “You’re going to be busy taking care of your grandfather.”

“Oh, well, of course, but you wouldn’t need to keep coming out.”

“I’m not leaving you here to handle both your grandfather and the farm,” I told her in a no nonsense tone. “Not to mention there’s still Fission Solutions to deal with.”

“Oh yeah.” She shook her head. “I swear I’m not normally so absent minded.”

“You have a lot going on,” I told her. “And until things calm down, I’m not going anywhere.”

There was that look again. It made me want to drag her into my lap and kiss her. I’d taken the seat right next to her, instead of across the table, so she was within reach. Maybe she’d be receptive to it, maybe not, but I didn’t want to push her too fast, so I kept my damn hands to myself, even though it killed me to do it.

“I don’t even know how I’m going to repay you for all of this.” She sounded so small and lost. Just a woman alone in the world, unused to people surrounding her with help and love.

I wanted to teach her what it meant to have a family. One like mine. Who would do whatever was fucking necessary to help any of those who belonged to us. I knew she would reject the idea outright if I tried anything like that now. My plan was to introduce her to my family slowly. Draw her in. Make her feel loved and secure. Then make her mine.

When you had a mare that spooked easily, you had to approach her slowly. To earn her trust. I knew Billie was going to be exactly the same. One day at a time, I was luring her further into my trap. Only I wasn’t going to do anything devious once I had her there. Unless you counted what I planned to do to her in bed. That was pretty fucking depraved.

But I didn’t want to send the girl running and screaming from me yet. So I’d keep myself locked down and under control until she trusted me.

“You don’t need to repay me for anything,” I told her. Reaching over, I picked up her fork and put it back into her hand. “You need to eat more. I don’t want you getting sick again.”

She placed a bite of food in her mouth and chewed. Once she’d swallowed she looked over at me again. “I at least need to pay you back for the food and the paint. Can you please make me a list of any supplies you’ve bought, and prices? And how many hours you’re working? At the end, I’ll cut you a check.” She hesitated. “Unless you need the money sooner. I can pay you now if you want.”

“No, at the end is fine,” I told her, nudging her hand so she resumed eating. This was why her body had shut down on her. She had so many responsibilities weighing down on her, she didn’t even think about her own health or needs.

I had zero intention of making a list. Or taking any money from her. That wasn’t why I was doing all this. But I wasn’t going to bring that up now. It would just start an argument. And arguing was the last thing I wanted to do with her.

“My VP Riptide is looking into Fission Solutions,” I said, changing the subject before she decided she needed to pay me now.

“VP?”

“The vice president of my club,” I explained with a grin. “He gave me an update earlier today. It’s a company that deals in nuclear energy.”

She frowned. “Why would they be interested in a cattle ranch if they’re involved with nuclear energy?”

I shrugged my shoulders, taking a drink of the cold beer in front of me. Priest had picked me up a couple of cases. A man couldn’t go from drinking most hours of the day to stopping cold turkey without some serious repercussions. Though, I never drank much while doing ranch work. I was having just enough that I wasn’t a useless waste of space who was dealing with withdrawals.

“That’s what he’s looking into. Don’t worry, we’ll figure it out.”

She nodded and continued eating. “It’s amazing,” she told me. “But I know you guys will figure it out.” Her laugh was full of disbelief.

I grinned at her because I knew she was shocked by that. She wasn’t the kind of woman who let people in easily. And she was used to being in charge. Giving over control to a bunch of men she’d never met must be difficult, but she was managing. I liked hearing that she trusted me enough to let me fix this for her.

“We won’t let anyone fuck around with your place again,” I promised.

“There’s no way for me to put a price on that. To repay you,” she said with a shake of her head. “It’s priceless to me.”

I didn’t take offense. If she was officially my woman and had said that to me I would have been furious. When she became mine, she’d have to give up this idea that she needed to pay me back for the things I did for her. It was my duty, my pleasure, to take care of my old lady. But she wasn’t mine yet. Or didn’t know it anyway. And money was the most important bargaining chip in the ranching world.

She was just doing what she knew. In her world, men didn’t work for free. They expected compensation for every ‘favor’. For every minute of work. Cowboys were hard workers, but they required payment for services rendered. I understood this world just as well as she did. So I didn’t take her words to heart.

She didn’t know yet that I would take offense to such things. I’d let her know when the time was right that I would always take care of her. And it never needed to be tit for tat. It was the way that I showed my love.

“You finished?” I asked, realizing we’d fallen quiet while we finished eating.

“Yeah. It was really good, but I can’t…finish,” she looked down at her still full plate.

“No problem,” I told her. “Why don’t you go take a shower and I’ll clean up in here.”

She stood up, then paused and looked over at me as I got up as well. “Toxic…”

“Yeah?”

She searched my gaze, then shook her head. “Never mind.”

“What?” I pressed.

She opened her mouth, then shook her head again. “Nothing.”

She didn’t give up her vulnerability easily. I could see that clear as day. It would be simple to let her run away to her room, but I’d been touching her, taking care of her for three days now, and my patience snapped.

Crossing the room, I caught her arm before she made it to the hallway that led back to her bedroom. My mouth was on hers the same moment her back hit the wall.

Her gasp of pleasure was all I needed to sweep my tongue into her mouth and invade. My hands dove into her hair, keeping her still while I pressed my body to hers and deepened the kiss. I’d been wanting to do this since that first day when she held a shotgun leveled at my nuts.

She moaned and it took all my self-control not to toss her over my shoulder and bring her back to her bedroom. My dick was throbbing and I wanted to fuck her more than I wanted to take my next breath. But again, I didn’t want to push her away.

Her hands went to my chest and her nails dug into my skin through my t-shirt as she flexed her fingers. Then she was pushing me away. “I’m- I’m sorry. I-” Her eyes were wide, her cheeks flushed and those sexy lips were a little swollen from my kisses.

I hadn’t gotten nearly enough, but she was already running away from me. It wasn’t going to be long before I ran after her. Not tonight. But soon.