Page 5

CHAPTER 5

Billie

M y eyes popped open as the alarm vibrated in my pocket. It was four a.m., and I looked over at my grandfather. I’d made it back before visiting hours ended and they’d let me stay at his bedside. He’d woken up sometime in the middle of the night. The doctor had told me that was a very good sign. Gramps hadn’t been able to tell me much about the attack. It had all happened too fast for him to know what was happening or who the men were.

I needed to get back to the ranch so I could walk Toxic through the morning chores. Sneaking out of the room, I spoke quietly with the nurse outside. “I’ll be back in a few hours,” I told her.

“You should try to get some rest, Honey,” she told me, her gaze sympathetic.

“Thanks.” There wasn’t time for rest. Not when animals needed feeding. I’d gotten a couple hours of sleep last night, but it wasn’t exactly comfortable in the hospital chairs. I’d fallen asleep with my head on my grandpa’s bed, bent over and now my back was screaming at me. I was twenty-nine years old. My back shouldn’t be acting up, but that was what happened when you over exerted yourself.

I raced back to the ranch and pulled in right behind Toxic and Butcher. They were prompt. I could appreciate that. “Morning,” I called out.

Toxic’s deep brown eyes zeroed in on me. “Did you get any sleep?”

For some reason the concern in his voice made me defensive. “Of course.”

“Doesn’t look like it.”

My eyes narrowed on him. “Well, I did.”

“Okay.” He frowned at me. “Why don’t you go take a shower? We’ll handle everything out here for now. I’ll start with the birds.”

“I haven’t shown you anything yet,” I argued. I wasn’t sure why I was resisting. A shower sounded amazing. I was dusty and dirty from yesterday’s work.

“They’re chickens. All it takes is spreading some feed, checking waters, and gathering eggs,” he pointed out with a smile. He wasn’t wrong.

“At least let me show you where the feed is,” I told him.

“I found it yesterday, Billie.” His voice was deep and soothing.

Feeling like an idiot, I remembered he’d fed everyone last night. “Oh… I’m-”

“It’s okay,” he replied, stepping close and nudging me a little toward the house.

He smelled of leather and sin. And I probably stunk like the pig pen. My cheeks heated and I nodded. “Okay, if you’re sure?”

“I’m sure.”

I was still in yesterday’s clothes, my hair was greasy and he looked good enough to eat. Escaping into the house, I stripped as soon as I got into my room. I groaned as I stepped into the blistering hot shower. I’d only taken enough time to slap together a sandwich to eat on the drive back to the hospital last night, nothing else.

It had killed me to leave Gramps there alone, even though he had wonderful nurses looking after him, but when you had living beings depending on you for their meals, there was no choice. Toxic showing up really was a Godsend.

I wasn’t trying to be snippy with him, but he was so…delicious. And he was being so kind. And I was completely out of sorts. Though, to be fair, I tended to be a no nonsense kind of person anyway. Or at least that was what my crew used to tease me about. There was work to do, so I jumped in and expected everyone to just do it. I always helped. Never went to bed until the chores were finished.

Shutting off the water, I sighed, wishing I could stand there for a few more minutes, but there was too much to do. And I wanted to get back to Grandpa’s side before he woke up this morning. I dressed quickly in a pair of jeans, my usual cowboy boots, and a long sleeved checkered shirt.

I was halfway down the hallway before I remembered I hadn’t brushed my hair, or my teeth. It didn’t matter. There were animals to feed. My steps stuttered to a stop as I saw Toxic and Butcher in the house. Butcher was already tucking into a plate of pancakes. There were plates all over the small dining room table. Eggs, bacon, toast, pancakes, and Toxic was at the stove, shoving sausage links around in the frying pan.

He must have heard me approach because he looked over his shoulder, his eyes scanning me. “You look like you feel better.”

“You-” My eyes moved from him to the huge breakfast. The scent of coffee was strong in the air and I was embarrassed that my stomach rumbled loudly.

Both men stared at me with matching grins.

“Sit down,” Toxic said. “Get some food before this asshole eats it all.”

“Fucking good. Who knew you could cook, Bro?” Butcher mumbled around a forkful of food.

“You didn’t have to do this,” I said, voice weak as I sank into a chair. I was flabbergasted when he set a mug of black coffee in front of me and a clean plate and silverware.

“We need to eat, too,” he said, voice cheerful as he went back to the stove.

Jeans, boots, vest…and bacon. My God I could just melt into this man.

Based off Butcher’s statement about him cooking, I doubted that was the reason he’d made this breakfast. I didn’t know how to express my gratitude, so instead I dished up my plate. “It’s really good. Thank you.”

He smiled over at me, dumping the links onto a plate and joining us at the table. “Good. Something tells me you didn’t get much to eat last night.”

I ducked my head and filled my mouth with eggs so I wouldn’t have to reply. I wasn’t used to anyone other than my grandpa taking care of me. My dad had died when I was still in high school, so it had just been the two of us for so long. I didn’t know where my mom was. She’d taken off when I was a baby. Hadn’t wanted to be a ranch wife, so she’d bailed.

“Chickens, llamas, sheep, and all of the birds are fed,” Toxic said as he filled his own plate. “I’ll feed the pigs and horses after breakfast. What do you need me to do with the cows or around the place today?”

“The cattle are good until Saturday. That’s the day we’ll need to dump a new bale of hay in their pasture. We have cattle tanks out there in the fields for water. Really, all I need is for the other animals to be fed until then. Thank you for taking care of Hank for me last night, by the way.”

“No problem. Seems like you left out of here in a hurry. I already fed the dog,” he said, pointing over toward Eris. “She’s just acting like she’s starving in hopes of getting two meals.”

I laughed at that and snuck her a piece of bacon under the table. “That’s her goal in life, to have multiple meals.” I looked up at Toxic and found him staring at me, looking a little bewildered. I wasn’t sure why, but I liked the way he was watching me. Too much.

Focusing back on my food, I forced myself to eat. It was hard to keep my mind straight right now. Most of my attention was on Gramps. The other half was on the ranch animals, and this man. Butcher was here too, but he was staying quiet and shoveling food in his mouth so fast it was almost alarming. He wasn’t having any kind of effect on me at all. But Toxic? I couldn’t seem to get him out of my mind.

Which was stupid. Because a man like him wasn’t the kind a woman should be thinking about. He was more than just gorgeous. He had that confident air that men who were at ease with women always had. I’d learned what that meant far too late. Will had taught me all about the ways of womanizing men. And I got the same feeling about Toxic.

Not that he was even doing or saying anything inappropriate. In fact, it was completely opposite. He was being so incredibly kind and thoughtful. Making sure I got a shower, and food, as well as taking care of my responsibilities. Maybe I was wrong about him. Not that it mattered either way. Neither of us were here to flirt. “I don’t know how to thank you for this,” I finally said, breaking the quiet.

His eyebrows raised. “No need to.”

He reminded me of my father in that way. The man had always just done everything that needed to be done. No gratitude required. I looked around at the table and couldn’t help but laugh.

Toxic’s lips quirked up. “What’s so funny?”

“When I first saw how much food you’d made, I thought you were crazy.” Everything was nearly gone. “We had a cook on the crew and he always made the guys their meals out in the bunkhouse. We ate with them often, but I guess I’ve just forgotten how much men eat.”

Both of them chuckled. “Us more than most, probably,” Toxic said. “I can hit the grocery store. Stock you up.”

My jaw dropped. “Oh… Thank you, but I can-”

“Billie.”

I sucked in a breath, because the way he said my name did funny things to my insides. Not to mention the way he was looking at me, all patient but determined at the same time. If a girl could melt, then I was a puddle.

“We’re here to help. Let us.”

“ He’s here to help,” Butcher muttered, shoving another half a pancake into his mouth. “I’m here to shoot some motherfuckers if they come sniffing around. And to eat. If you want me to do the former, then I need to do the latter, so you need him to hit the grocery store.”

Now my mouth was hanging fully open. “What?” I asked him.

“Don’t pay attention to him,” Toxic said. “Like, ever.”

The way Butcher cursed under his breath gave me the distinct impression that Toxic had kicked him under the table. My gaze landed on Toxic again.

“I’ll pick you up enough to get you through the next few days. There’s not much in here.”

“I don’t know how long Gramps will be in the hospital,” I hedged.

“That’s fine. We’ll figure it out in a couple more days. You don’t even have to come home. Though you should, so you can get a shower and some sleep.”

“I slept last night.”

He arched a brow. “Sleeping in those hospital chairs isn’t rest. You look like you’re exhausted. In fact, why don’t you go lay down for a couple of hours?”

The way he said that told me he’d spent his share of nights in hospitals, though right now I didn’t dare to ask why. “Oh, I couldn’t. There’s so much to do.” I told him, shaking my head. The weight of the responsibilities of this ranch was something I was so used to, I didn’t even feel it anymore. That never ending to-do list was just always there in my mind.

“That’s what I’m here for, remember? And most hospital visiting hours don’t open again until eight or nine. It’s only six. Go lay down.”

“I should do the dishes…”

“That’s Butcher’s job.”

I stifled a laugh when Butcher scowled at Toxic. “Knew there was a price to pay for the meal.” But he stood and started bringing plates over to the sink without another word.

“Billie.”

I really needed him to stop saying my name that way. It was bad enough I was losing myself in his eyes, but I was a goner for that voice. I was probably just hallucinating from being so tired.

“I’ll wake you up in a couple hours,” he promised. “But you need to get some sleep.” He stood up and when he held his hard, calloused palm out to me, I took it. He led me down the hallway and paused at my door. “Need me to tuck you in?” he asked in a low voice. There was a sinful smile on his face.

“No,” I said a little too quickly. “Thanks… I’m…”

“You’re not used to someone taking care of you,” he said, finishing my sentence. “I can tell.”

I was used to doing the taking care of. Had been doing it for so long now. Even when Dad was alive, I did my best to take as much off his plate as I could. I nodded.

“Get some sleep,” he repeated, nudging me into my bedroom, then closing the door.

I walked over to the bed on auto-pilot, kicked off my boots and laid down fully dressed. I was out as soon as my head hit the pillow.