Page 21

CHAPTER 21

Billie

“ I can’t believe you did that!” I hissed as we hurried back toward his vehicle. My face was on fire and, if I was being honest, his filthy words about giving him a blow job had piqued my interest more than they should have. I couldn’t completely blame Stacy and Mike. It seemed to be impossible to resist Toxic’s charms.

The thought of giving a blowjob had never made my mouth water like it was now, damn him. In fact, it had never really appealed to me, but with him? I looked away from his knowing eyes. I didn’t need to imagine his moans of pleasure… dammit. What was it about a man groaning for you that was so sexy? I wasn’t an overly sexual woman. Normally, I was too busy to even think about sex. But ever since this biker had shown up in my life it was like my libido had woken up.

I was figuring out why his nickname was Toxic, but in all reality, he was kind and thoughtful along with wickedly sexy. How was the female population supposed to hold out against that? It wasn’t working very well for me. Even though I had personal experience with a man who liked to flirt and fuck, didn’t matter if he was in a relationship, I couldn’t completely keep my guard up.

Toxic’s words about not cheating were exactly what I wanted to hear. If they were true, then I’d be able to give into the demands of my body without remorse. And then my heart would be safe as well, but I wasn’t that trusting of a person. Not anymore. I didn’t trust him. The more I wanted to believe him the less I could. My judgement where he was concerned was compromised.

It wasn’t fair to make him pay for the mistakes of another man, but I wouldn’t be doing that if he wasn’t a huge flirt the same way that other man had been. I didn’t know how else to handle this predicament I’d found myself in. We were only in the second week of knowing one another, but I was already aware that if he broke my heart it would shatter. It would hurt far more than it had when I’d caught Will cheating.

“Sorry, I needed to get us the fuck out of there before he called security,” Toxic told me, his huge hand going to the small of my back as he guided me over to the truck.

I got in and scowled at him while he climbed in. “What does that have to do with what you said?” I asked, mortified. I’d grown up with my father and grandfather. Sex wasn’t spoken about in my home. It was a thing that was ignored because there was no way any of us would feel comfortable enough to talk about it.

“It shocked him as much as it did you,” he pointed out, pulling away from the parking spot. “Kept him from picking up that phone, didn’t it?” he shot me a grin.

An answering smile spread over my lips. I couldn’t help it, I started laughing. “Did you see the look on his face?” I snickered.

“Yeah,” he said laughing. “I wish I’d seen the look on yours.”

“You were too busy tossing me over your shoulder,” I pointed out.

“Bet you were red as a tomato.”

“You told some random man I’d offered to…blow you, Toxic. Yeah, I was red.” I was blushing now just thinking about it.

His eyes slid over to me and the smile had dropped off his face. “Yeah. Don’t say that.”

“Say what?” I asked, confused about the sudden seriousness on his face.

“Let’s not talk about you blowing me. Otherwise I’m going to find a random parking garage around here and let you.”

My pussy clenched. His voice had dropped down into that sexy growl, only this time he wasn’t acting for some woman behind a desk. I could hear the difference now in his tone, the genuine interest in his words. “You seem to be forgetting that I never offered that,” I told him, voice a little breathy. I prayed he didn’t notice, or else I might offer. All bets were off with him. He affected me in a way I didn’t think possible.

“The guys are meeting us out at the ranch in a couple hours,” he said.

The change of subject was jarring, but I just nodded and went with it. “We’re skipping over one of the fields. The one earmarked for the cattle is about a half mile from where they are now.” My skin was sensitive and on fire. I wanted to run my cold hands over it to help cool off my embarrassment and arousal.

Glancing over, I saw that Toxic was rhythmically clenching his hands on the steering wheel. I had a feeling if I did anything to encourage him right now, he’d make good on his threat to find a parking spot. As much as I’d love to let him take care of this ache between my thighs, I knew it was a bad idea.

Getting involved with a man like this was counterproductive. I wasn’t looking for a quick fling. I was twenty-nine years old, there wasn’t really any time to waste with men who didn’t want relationships. When I eventually got married, I wanted a solid, steady man. One who only had eyes for me. Who would do whatever it took to keep me happy. And I would do the same for him. We’d live on and run my ranch together. Have enough babies that our hearts would never be empty, and grow old together.

I just wanted someone who loved me. Who saw me . Understood those deep parts of myself that no one really knew. The parts that I haven’t shared with anyone. There must have been a part of me that realized that Will wasn’t the one, because I never gave him access to that true me.

My friends and family got to see bits and flashes of her, of course. I didn’t pretend with them. But I truly believed that only the person who the other half of your heart was designed for, would ever know you on that deep level. It was fanciful. Which was funny because that wasn’t a word that would usually be used to describe me, but there it was.

“Well, this afternoon is going to be entertaining, if nothing else,” Toxic said with a grin that I could only describe as feral.

“What?” We’d both been sitting in silence for long enough, I’d forgotten what we’d been talking about.

“Not one of my brothers knows how to ride a horse.” He grinned over at me. “They’re getting a crash course.”

“Are the women and children coming over?” I asked.

“Not today. I want to get this done and it’ll never happen if we’re trying to corral the hellions and the cows.”

My smile softened. “You love them.”

“Who?” he asked, eyes darting my way before flicking back to the road.

“Those little girls.”

“Oh… yeah. Sure. I love all my brothers’ kids.”

The way he said it was so relaxed, I knew it was the truth, but he didn’t seem to understand how attractive that was. There was just something about seeing a strong masculine man honestly enjoying spending time around kids that made me melt.

Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to have the families out to my ranch. I was already struggling to keep him at arm’s length. I didn’t need to see him interacting with his family any more than necessary.

“I still don’t get what this company had to do with Fission Solutions?” I asked, trying to force my thoughts away from Toxic holding a chubby cheeked baby. I didn’t know why that image popped up in my head, but it kept coming up and my heart was starting to feel…yearnings.

“It’s one of the offshoot companies that belong to Jonathan Brently. Fission Solutions is the parent company, but he has plenty of others in the nuclear sector. That one, EcoAlign, offers services to other smaller companies to bring them in compliance with the EPA.”

I shook my head as I listened to him. He and his brothers had already managed to find out so much information on these companies in such a short amount of time. No wonder Keely had sent them to help me. I was beginning to think there wasn’t anything they couldn’t do.

It was validating to know that my suspicions had been right, but the more I learned, the more nervous I got. How was I supposed to fight back against a company like this? Would Cholla Summit Ranch ever be safe with Uranium deposits underneath it? This wasn’t going to be the only company interested in my land. Even if we manage to get them to disappear, who’s to say someone else wouldn’t show up?

“Rip will look through the files we downloaded and see if there’s any kind of link between the two companies and Cholla Summit. Fission Solutions is based in Chicago. Doesn’t mean Brently couldn’t be pulling strings from there. He likely is. But someone’s doing his dirty work here and men like that don’t handle their own violence.”

I was suddenly glad that Butcher had stayed behind at the ranch while we’d driven into town. One thing was for sure, this threat was real. Toxic wasn’t dismissing it. He was taking it seriously, and so would I.

“Quit yanking on his reins like that,” I called out. Urging Hank forward, I pulled up alongside Butcher. “You’re making him go to the side,” I pointed out.

“Fucking animal won’t do what I want,” he gritted out between clenched teeth. The horse beneath him was snorting and dancing sideways.

“Because Baloo has more experience than you,” I said with a laugh. He glared over at me. “He wants to go off to the right to get that cow that’s straying.” I pointed over to where a cow was cutting off from the group. “You keep trying to force him to stay behind the main group.”

“Hate fucking riding these things,” Butcher barked out when the horse gave a violent jerk of his head.

“Give him some slack. He’s been driving cattle for most of his life. Let him take the lead.”

“Sure. Let the brain dead animal go where it wants to go,” Butcher growled, but he loosened his grip on the reins.

“Between the two of you Baloo isn’t the brain dead one!” Toxic shouted from somewhere behind us.

Butcher didn’t have a chance to respond because as soon as he gave the horse his head, Baloo was off like a shot. I couldn’t help but laugh at Butcher bellowing out threats as my horse chased down the rebellious cow. I wasn’t sure if the threats spewing out of Butcher were for me or my gelding, but I figured Baloo would get him set straight by the time we got to the new pasture.

My eyes scanned over men on horseback and I laughed out loud this time.

“What’s so funny?”

I glanced over as Toxic and Irene trotted up on my right. “Raggediest bunch of cowboys I’ve ever seen.”

Toxic chuckled as he watched his brothers trying to figure out how to ride the horses. Thankfully, my animals were well-trained and knew exactly what was expected of them. I always provided the horses for my crew, because then I knew I at least had one dependable being out there chasing my cows.

“That’s because they’re used to riding motorcycles, not horses,” Toxic replied. “I can’t believe you found a horse for Hellfire.”

We both looked over and my eyes softened. “That’s Moose.”

“Fitting,” Toxic said with a laugh. “I’ve been feeding him for almost two weeks, but I never took him for a cutting horse.”

“Right?” Moose was a draft cross and most cutting horses were quarter horses, but Moose had always had a fondness for cows. I often wondered if it was because he could almost be confused for one. His brown coat blended in with the red cows surrounding him as he and Hell moved in front of the herd. “Dad bought him for me on a whim. He’s earned his keep every year since. I usually have a couple of cowboys who are a bit too big for my quarter horses to haul around safely.”

We both glanced over as Lockout rode up. He was in complete control of Durotan. It didn’t surprise me. He had an air of authority that even horses seemed to listen to.

“Going alright, Prez?” Toxic asked.

“I see why you enjoy this,” Lock said with a chuckle. “There’s something addictive about sweating your ass off while commanding thousand pound animals to go where you want.”

“Speak for yourself,” Idaho, Lockout’s identical twin, said as he rode up. He winced. “How do I keep from crushing my fucking balls?”

I bit back a laugh. “You don’t.”

“What?” he asked me, looking at me as if I’d grown another head.

“You just get used to it,” Toxic told him.

A barked curse caught our attention. Smokehouse stood up in his stirrups and rearranged his crotch. I bit back a laugh. I’d worked around men on horseback for so long, I’d pretty much seen everything. Though I made sure that he didn’t catch me staring.

“Quit fucking playing with it,” Static told him, riding up from behind him. “You’re letting the cattle veer off.”

“This is so fucking uncomfortable. How are you just sitting there like that?” Smoke grumbled.

“Because while most of us are proud as fuck of our cocks, we don’t have a massive anaconda in our jeans,” Ricochet said as he moved Dilly into position to cut off the cows trying to get away from the riders.

I clapped a hand over my mouth, but the laughter escaped anyway. My eyes met Toxic’s and I raised a brow.

“He’s not fucking kidding,” Toxic said in a wry tone.

“Why do you all know how…big…he is?” I teased.

“When you’re slinging a log like that, you make it a point to show the world,” Lock said with a chuckle. “It’s just how it is.”

Idaho let out another curse and shifted in the saddle again. “I’m going to walk with the dog.”

We all glanced over to where Eris was trotting along, her intelligent brown eyes watching the cattle like she couldn’t wait for one to get belligerent so she could correct it. She was a cattle dog through and through. She snapped at a hoof, then darted out of the way when the cow kicked toward her, its eyes rolling in its head as it watched her.

“Keep your hands lighter on the reins,” I told Idaho, leaning over and tapping on his hand nearest me. “And stop gripping Arwen’s sides with your legs so hard. That’s why she keeps going into a trot for you.”

“Okay,” Idaho muttered, trying visibly to relax all his limbs. “Hard not to want to hold on for your fucking life.”

“What happens if you manhandle a pistol?” Toxic asked, his eyes scanning the herd.

“You throw the round off to the side away from the target,” Idaho answered.

“Same with the horse. Let her do the work,” Toxic told him. He glanced over at Lock and shook his head. “Looks like you’ve been riding your whole life, Lock.”

The man grinned then squeezed his legs against Durotan’s sides and took off like a shot toward the front of the group.

“At least he’s enjoying this,” Idaho grumbled as he shifted in the saddle, discomfort written all over his face.

“He needs a goddamn break,” Butcher said as he and Baloo merged back up with the group. The cow they’d chased back gave a hoarse bellow and integrated back in with the herd.

“He needs to get fucking laid,” Toxic muttered.

I looked over at him and rolled my eyes. “Having sex doesn’t fix everything,” I told him.

Toxic gave me a heated look and I had to look away because I could all but see the filthy thoughts happening behind those gorgeous brown eyes. I knew he was thinking about me. “Trust me, it’d fix what’s going on with him,” he finally said.

“What’s going on with him?” I challenged. The men laughed and as a group moved ahead of me without answering. Shaking my head, I urged Hank forward. Hellfire was off Moose up ahead and had opened up the gates we’d need to drive the cattle through.

My expression turned grim as I watched some of the cattle stream through the gates like they should while others shot off left and right, trying to avoid the fencing. This was the fun part. I could put away my worries for my ranch and just meld with my horse as we chased down cantankerous cows. It was pure freedom.