Page 2

CHAPTER 2

Toxic

R esting back against the headboard of my bed, I flipped the page of the book I was reading. It was the newest book by Joel Salatin, a world renowned farmer, and I’d been meaning to get to it for a while. Things had finally calmed down enough for me to do some reading.

Of course, if the guys knew I read they’d give me endless amounts of shit for it. I was pretty sure most of them didn’t think I could even read. Though, I ran my family’s ranch in Sentinel Wyoming from here. At least the paperwork portion of it. My cousin, Cynic’s older brother, ran the day to day operation since I wasn’t there. He also ran herd on my dad most days—a full time job in itself.

It was mid-August and it had been quiet since our showdown in the White Mountains. That was giving me a lot of extra time. And I was beginning to feel…itchy. I didn’t know why.

It made me happy as hell to see my brothers settled down with their old ladies and their kids. Butcher and Isla were like a pair of psychotic peas in a warped little pod. I was glad he was able to find someone.

I grew up seeing my dad and mom and the way their marriage was. The way they loved each other was just short of epic. It was why I hadn’t gotten married. I kept everything light with women because lightning had never struck.

Once when I was younger, I’d asked Dad how he knew Mom was the one. He’d told me it was like being hit by lightning the moment he saw her. He couldn’t move. Couldn’t speak. And he just knew he was going to marry her.

I’d been waiting for that. I wasn’t some cheesy fucking douchebag who believed in the stars aligning and all that bullshit, but when you saw, really saw, two people who were meant to be together, loving each other every day, it was impossible to deny it. I saw it all around me now. With my brothers and their women. I just didn’t know if there was anyone out there for me.

So I had fun. I drank. I slept around. I drank. I drank more. I should probably look into that. Most of my brothers had been shocked to meet my dad and learn that I’d grown up on a ranch. They still probably didn’t realize that the ranch was mine. That it was a multi-million dollar business that I kept running in peak condition, thanks to my cousin and a crew of men I’d been working with for years.

Lockout knew. That man knew everything. And Butcher knew, but I was sure the others didn’t. They saw me as the partier, the player, because—let’s face it—I partied as hard as I worked. I put that out there for the world to see because it was easy to meet those expectations. But those who knew that side of me? They’d be shocked to realize I had a reputation for being solid and steady. For being hardworking and successful.

It wasn’t that I didn’t want my brothers knowing about that responsible half of myself. It was that I only let my brothers see the real me under the partier. And my father, though he probably wished I’d show him less of the real me. The rest of the world got a fake version of myself. I was free here with my chosen family. I could do and be anything I wanted. And if my brothers needed me I’d move heaven and Earth to make sure it happened. But the rest of the time? I did whatever felt good. Mostly because, deep down, I knew what I was missing.

I was forty-two years old now. And I was getting really sick of being alone. It was why I slept around. Why I drank so fucking much. I had a fear that I’d never voiced to another person before. That I was never going to find my old lady. I was going to live out my life and never know the love I’d grown up around. And I really didn’t want that.

A knock on the door made me look up, and I slid the book under my pillow. “Come in.”

“Not sure I want to,” Lock called out.

“I’m alone,” I said with a chuckle.

He swung open the door and looked around. “Well, it doesn’t look like a sex dungeon in here, yet.”

I snorted and arched a brow. They always joked about my place being a dungeon, yet I was more vanilla than not. I might have sex a lot but it wasn’t super kinky sex. I was just a regular fucking guy.

“Need something, Prez?” The way Lockout had looked at me when he said that made me wonder if he somehow knew what I was doing. That my fear of living my life alone was the reason I surrounded myself with women. Nah. He couldn’t possibly know that…right? That wasn’t something obvious.

“I have a favor to ask.”

“Anything,” I replied, sitting up a bit straighter.

“This isn’t technically considered club business,” he cautioned.

“So?” I crossed my arms over my chest. “What do you need, Lock?”

“A…friend…called. She has another friend who needs some help with her ranch. Something about losing some ranch hands and her grandfather being attacked.”

“A…friend?” I asked, a smile forming. “Does this friend happen to be a lawyer? With a sister? A sister who lives here with-”

“It’s Keely,” he barked, scowling at me.

“Knew it,” I said with a shit-eating grin. “Just say that next time.”

“I was trying to avoid…” He rubbed his temple. “She’s at the hospital with her grandfather and has no one to take care of the animals for the next couple of days. Would you be able to head out to Red Rock and give her a hand?”

Frowning, I shrugged. “Yeah, no problem.”

“Take Butcher with you. Keely said this lady seems to think someone is out to get her. That they beat the shit out of her grandfather. Until I get to the bottom of it, I don’t want you going out there alone.”

I chuckled. “No problem on my end, but Butcher’s going to be pissed.”

“Why?”

“I assume there’s horses at this ranch?”

“I guess,” he said, sounding curious.

“He has a thing about horses.”

“What thing?” he asked, bewildered.

“Hates the animals now.” When Lock shook his head in confusion and disbelief, I shrugged. “There was this time on a mission where we had to ride camels,” I explained. “Well, to save time, let’s just say it didn’t go well for Butcher.” I paused. “Or the camel. He doesn’t like anything that's taller or smarter than he is.”

“He doesn’t have to get near the horses,” Lock sighed. “He just needs to watch your six.”

“Got it, Prez,” I told him. “We’ll head out there in a few minutes.”

“Thanks, Toxic.”

“Happy to help,” I replied.

He gave me a penetrating look. “I know. Doesn’t seem to matter what I ask of you, you’re always down for it.”

I looked away from his gaze. “All of us are, Lock. It’s what we do for each other.”

“Yeah,” he said. “I know. Let me know if you need more help. I’m more than happy to send more of the men out to give you a hand.”

“Nah, most of them would just get in the way.” I paused. “Though I might want to take Hellfire out. Get him to ride a bull.” I chuckled.

“A bull?”

“Well, what horse could lug his huge ass around?”

Lockout shook his head and started to turn.

“Hey, Boss?”

He paused, then looked over his shoulder. “Yeah?”

The grin grew slowly over my face. “How’s Keely doing?”

His eyes narrowed. “She’s fine.”

“Yeah? How fine? Like, fine, fine?” I got up off the bed and rubbed my hands down my sides and shimmied a little.

“Fuck off, Toxic.”

Shaking my head as he left, I chuckled to myself. “He’s going to end up snapping like a rubber band if he doesn’t do something about that soon.”

“Talking to yourself?”

I glanced up as I dug my boots out of my closet and stuffed my feet into them. “You ready to take a ride?” I asked.

Butcher was leaning on the doorframe, arms crossed as he stared at me. “Yeah, but Lock didn’t say where we were going. Just that you needed help.”

This was going to be fun. I smacked his shoulder as I walked past. “Let’s go.”

“Hell no! There’s horses out there,” Butcher barked, pointing toward the pasture that had a handful of grazing horses.

“I’m sure there are some in the barn, too,” I told him as I looked around. This was a nice piece of land. The house was an old farm style house and it had a lot of outbuildings, but everything seemed old and worn. It needed some care. The house needed a new coat of paint. So did the barn. The harsh Arizona sun wore that shit off fast as hell.

One of the sliding doors on the barn was off its track, leaving the insides open to the elements. A horse poked his head over a stall door as I went inside, ignoring Butcher’s bitching. “Hey there,” I said, in a soothing voice. Had to be a gelding because the horse’s ears were up and there was a friendly look in his eyes. The mares were never as nice. I had a love for the cantankerous females of the horse world. They were so much damn fun with their moods.

I patted the horse’s muzzle and refilled his hay and checked that he had water. There was sweat dried onto his dark coat, so I grabbed a brush. “Just go keep a lookout outside,” I told Butcher, knowing he was going to get antsy staying inside the barn. I’d caught him up with everything I knew after we parked the truck and took a stroll around.

“I’m not touching these damn animals,” he said.

“You don’t need to,” I said with a laugh. “That’s my job.”

He hesitated, looking like he was going to offer to help anyway. I didn’t want to hear his bitching though. “I’d rather have you out there watching for trouble.”

Nodding, he left the barn and I watched as a small heeler trotted in past him. The dog paused, head turning as she watched Butcher walk away.

“You bite him and he might bite back,” I cautioned her.

The dog looked over at me, ears up, a considering look in her eyes. She must have abandoned her plan because she followed me into the horse’s stall. I patted the gelding’s flank, then started brushing him.

Shit. There were times when I missed this. I loved growing up on the ranch. When I left for the Army, I missed it so damn much. But after I got out of the military, I needed my brothers here. As much as I loved my Pops, and our family ranch, I needed the men I considered family. They grounded me.

And it wasn’t that the Berserker’s Rage MC crew wasn’t like family, they were, but after my brother died… I just couldn’t stay. I needed something new. That was why I’d come to Tucson. Why I switched clubs and became a part of the Viking’s Rampage. It was new. It was mine. Not something I shared with my brother. He’d been a Berserker too, back in the day.

Cypher had understood and he’d let me go. Which was why we still had a good relationship. Why we worked so well with his club now. I loved those men as brothers, but I needed out. They understood and let me go. Hush had done the same when he’d lost his first wife, Lockout’s sister.

I’d been the one to explain to Lock that he needed to let Hush go. Otherwise he’d lose him forever. If he let him go, there was a chance we’d get him back. And we had. But this was my place and my former brothers understood that. So did my dad. I wasn’t going anywhere.

I’d been trying to get Pops to move down here, near me, but he didn’t think he could leave his ranch. Our ranch. I planned to change his mind. One day.

The unmistakable sound of a shotgun racking back made my asshole clench. Dropping the brush in my hand, I slowly turned and found the barrel touching my nose.

The woman standing there had long dark wavy hair and a fiery look in her gorgeous brown eyes. And wouldn’t you fucking know it? Lightning struck.