Page 23 of Totally Played (Love In Play #5)

Fuck. I haven’t been this strung out over a guy in forever. But this is all new to him, and I really don’t want to scare him away. I spot Red grabbing a coffee downstairs at the coffee cart across the road and head his way.

“Hey, are we ready with that video yet?” I ask before placing my order with the barista.

Red shrugs. “It hasn’t crossed my desk yet, but he can’t be too far off. How was last night?” he asks, and I know he isn’t asking about specifics, but my reply is clearly not what he’s expecting because when I say, “We had sex and then I woke up alone this morning,” he spits out his sip of coffee.

“Umm, not what I meant, but okay. We can talk about that,” he replies, grabbing a napkin from the counter as the barista smirks and makes a start on my coffee.

I couldn’t care less if she heard me. She’s probably had the same thing happen to her in the past. It’s not a new thing to wake up alone after a hookup, but I didn’t think last night was just a hookup.

What is between Calvin and me is so much more than that.

I saw that last night. I felt it. I am totally and completely in love with him.

“So, you… Did the thing and then he left before you woke up,” Red repeats slowly, like he’s trying to make sure he says it right.

“Yeah, he had to get to the field to meet the team.”

“Well, then that’s not just running away, he had to get to the field. If he was late, the coaches would tear into him, right?”

“I guess. But he could have woken me up. I sleep pretty light; he would have had to really creep out to not wake me.”

His brow furrows, and it’s like I can see the cogs turning in his head.

“He probably thought you looked too peaceful to wake. You should ask him. Did you message him this morning?”

“Yeah, but not about that. I mean, I don’t want to really just say hey, did you run away this morning because you regretted last night?”

“Why not?”

“Because you don’t just ask a guy that.”

“Why not?”

The barista passes over my takeaway cup with a soft smile.

“I agree with your friend here. Just ask him. It’s better to know now before you are too deep into it.”

I give her a smile and nod as a reply, tipping her my change, which was probably way too much. I think I handed her a twenty. Oh well.

Red and I make a start toward the office doors.

“I think it’s too late,” I say, sipping the hot drink, the creamy milk coating my mouth and warming my chest.

“You can call him,” Red offers, but I shake my head.

“Not about that. I think it’s too late to know before getting too deep. I think I might love this guy.”

Red stops in the doorway and turns to face me.

“You love him?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“That’s awesome, man.”

I groan.

“Okay, it’s not awesome,” he says, letting the door close and moving to the side to let others pass.

“It is, but I want to tell him that, and in person, but we’re not going to be in the same city for weeks.”

“Who says?”

“He’s on his way to New York, and I’m flying out to Montana.”

“Then fly to New York first and tell him.”

“Huh?”

“Look, Ash, I’ve never seen you this happy, so if you need to tell him how you feel, then go. I’ll have Patricia rebook your tickets. You can surprise him and tell him how you feel and then fly out to meet Jennifer a few days later.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“What if he doesn’t want…”

“You?”

I nod, because even thinking the words feels like my heart is at risk of being ripped from my chest.

“Then I’ll be there to help you pick up the pieces.”

“You’d come to New York?”

“You’re my best friend. I’ll be there for you whenever you need me, wherever you are. That’s what best friends do.”

“Thanks, Red.”

“No problem. Now, get off home and pack. I’ll have Patricia send off the new tickets and itinerary as soon as she has it all booked.”

“You’re the best. I’ll be sure to get that baseball signed by as many players as you want if this goes well.”

He shakes his head.

“I already gave it to Tony; he’s taking care of it for me.”

“Really?” I reply with a smirk.

“Don’t look at me like that. We’re just friends.”

“I didn’t look at you like anything.” I laugh, and he shoves my shoulder.

“Go already before I have her book you in economy.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“I really would, now go.”

I jog toward home, a nervous excitement building inside me all the while packing and making my way to the airport.

Patricia got me on the next flight out, so I’ll get in about an hour and a half to two hours after him.

I’m grateful for the business class seat.

Though I don’t mind flying economy, it can get tight with my long legs, so the extra leg room is nice.

Once I’m connected to the flight’s Wi-Fi, I start searching for places we could go to chat.

I mean, sure, we could talk at the hotel, but he might think I’m just there for a hookup, and that is not what this is about.

I want to tell him how I feel. I want him to know this is more than sex for me, and I hope that last night didn’t freak him out.

He seemed to be really into it at the time.

But again, that was sex. This is so much more.

Duckie had mentioned the hotel they’d be staying at when we were at dinner last, so I zoom in on the map and do a search of the area for sports bars.

Maybe setting the scene like the first night we met will show him my intentions are to make sure he’s okay, and that we’re okay.

That he knows where I stand. He’s always been honest with me, even from that first night, telling me who he was, when he could have pretended to be his brother, I mean, I would have known the second they swapped back if he had, Tony doesn’t bring that rush of electricity through my body, and he doesn’t have that cute-as-fuck tiny heart freckle under his eye either.

I click on a bar called McNabbins and scroll through the photos, and the second I spot the candy bar claw machine in the background of one, I know I’ve found the right place.

How long is this flight again?