Page 11 of Totally Played (Love In Play #5)

Chapter eleven

Calvin

When I get home, Tony is waiting, and while he looks a lot better than he has in days, there is still that hint that something’s off. At least the apartment is warm, so his fever must have broken.

“You’re up late,” I say, hanging my jacket and dropping my keys into the upside-down hockey helmet we use for a key bowl.

It was a housewarming gift from Cosmo. We’re sure he forgot to get us something, and that was all he had in his car at the time, other than dirty gym clothes.

I guess I should be thankful he didn’t give us those.

“Technically, I’m up extra early. I’ve been asleep for about twenty hours now, but I think I’ve finally kicked this flu or whatever it was. How was the game against the OGs?”

“That was yesterday, and we lost. But I got a point, and Ryan struck out Yoyo Leigh.”

“Wow, I have to see that. Want to watch the replay with me?”

“Absolutely.”

I’ve missed hanging out with Tony, but I was determined not to catch whatever bug he picked up, so I limited my interactions these last few days to bringing him food and spraying all the surfaces in our apartment with disinfectant while he slept.

“Have you eaten?” I ask as he stretches out on the couch.

“Nope. I might have some of those soup things left, but I’m kind of over soup. Maybe we could order in?” he asks, finally loading the game and hitting play.

“I brought some food from Tim’s, just in case you were feeling better,” I say, holding up the take-home container Lion packed for me.

He jumps up and leaps over the back of the couch.

“Oh my god, you are the best brother in the whole world,” he says, rushing toward me.

I hold out the container with one hand and cover my mouth with the other, and he laughs.

“I’m fine now, I swear.”

“You’re still probably carrying whatever thing you had. Take the food and get back on the couch. I’ll sit on the bean bag.”

“Yes, Mom.”

“If I were Mom, you’d be in bed with broth, not about to dig into barbeque ribs and wings.”

“So true. Remember when we both caught strep throat and she had us restricted to chicken soup and Jello for days. I still can’t eat strawberry Jello.”

“That’s because you decided to prove you could swallow a whole bowl of it in ten seconds.”

“It came out of my nose and everything. Yuck. Anyway, how were the guys? Did you smash them on game night?”

“They’re all great, I came second, and we invited Fort over, too, and Rachel.”

“Wow, she’s been angling for an invite since forever. Who’s Fort?”

I grab two waters from the fridge and plonk into the bean bag.

“Beau in our team, you know, the new guy?”

“Why are you calling him Fort then?”

“Because Lion’s friend Beau was there, too, and Ash thought it would be easier to use a nickname for one of them, and it turned out his name is actually Beaufort, so Ash came up with Fort.”

“Ash,” he says, pausing the replay of the game to turn his attention fully to me.

My face grows warmer, and I pop the cap on one of the bottles and guzzle it down.

“You know, Ashley, the guy you had me go on a date with,” I say between gulps.

“You went out again?”

“No. I mean, yes. But it’s not like that.”

Tony grabs his phone and swipes the screen a few times. “I knew something was off. He scored me really high after your date, but then I hit him up for another date this week and he rain-checked me.”

“Yeah, he’s going out of town,” I say, finishing off the water and opening the second bottle that I had originally grabbed for Tony, but my mouth is so dry.

He rolls his eyes.

“That’s just what a guy says when he’s not interested anymore. I knew I should have taken the hit and asked to reschedule.”

“No, he’s seriously going out of town, and hey. You said he rated you good, didn’t you? Why would he lie about going out of town if he scored my date high?”

He shrugs. “Maybe you’re a dud lay.” He laughs, and I reach over and toss a cushion at him. It hits him square in the face and falls into his lap on top of the container of wings.

“You’re washing that,” he says, peeling it up and flinging it over his head toward the bathroom. “Don’t throw things at your sick brother.”

“You said you’re better now.”

“I said I was feeling better. You said I was still all germy, so that means I’m still sick, and you can’t be mean to me if I’m sick.”

I shake my head.

“You are a big sook when you are sick, you know that?”

“We’re twins, so that means you are, too,” he replies, sticking out his tongue like a toddler.

“It doesn’t work that way. We might look alike, but your personality is all yours, baby brother.”

“Hey, you are like three minutes older.”

“Still older.”

“Shut up so I can watch you lose already.”

“Harsh.”

“Yeah, sorry,” he says, and I wiggle my butt forward a little so that I can lean back more in the bean bag. “You really think he’s going out of town?”

“Yeah, I do. He said he’s off to Belgium for work. He doesn’t know when he’ll be back, but he’s keen to come to another game when we play at home again.”

“So he’s a Banana Ball guy, nice.”

“Actually, he’s only recently…discovered Banana Ball. He’s more of a hockey guy.”

“Urgh. I guess I can let that slide. He’s so fit. I keep checking his profile to see if he’s uploaded more photos. He’s tall, right? He looks tall. Was he wearing a corset when he met you for his date?”

“Yeah, he was. He is tall too, about a head taller than us. You’ll see for yourself, if you just hit play on the remote.”

“What do you mean?”

“He came to the game, sat with Mom, Dad, and Rachel.”

“How many dates have you two had? I’m going to need all the details if we are going to switch back for the future ones. I need to know everything you said. Everything you did.”

“Don’t worry about that, he knows I’m not you.”

He turns in his seat, staring at me, mouth wide open.

“He what now?”

“He knows I’m me and you’re you.”

“Now see, that’s why he rain-checked me, isn’t it? You took him to game night and the guys spoiled it,” he says, and I’m a little disappointed he’d think that I was the reason he got a rain check on a date.

“No, I told him right at the start I wasn’t you.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. It just didn’t seem right. But we had a few drinks at the bar, and it turns out he’s a really cool guy.”

“So you’re now what? Friends with him?”

“Yeah. Is that okay?”

His face lights up in a giant smile.

“My ride or die is friends with the guy I want to date. It’s perfect. Now, if Ashley and I become a thing, I won’t have to worry about him getting along with you.”

Is that what Ash and I are? Friends. I guess we have to be.

I can do that. I mean, I already am doing that.

Sure, a pang of jealousy hit my chest when Tony requested that date, which isn’t fair, because he is his date.

I was never really dating Ash. We agreed to be friends.

But why is it that all I can think about is how great he looks in those corsets and how his smile widens and crinkles at the corners of his eyes when he looks at me?

Maybe he’s thinking of Tony, and finally getting past the fill-in brother to the real thing?

Urgh, why does that thought make me want to hurl?

I should be happy a guy Tony is dating is a decent person.

It’s true Tony’s always made sure the people he dated, at least long term, were nice enough to me.

A girl he dated for about three months in college was great at pretending to be nice in front of Tony.

Then, as soon as she got the chance, she’d make it very clear to me that she didn’t like having to share her boyfriend.

Like bitch please, we shared a womb, ain’t no chick going to ever top that.

I didn’t want to say anything to him because he seemed to be really happy, but he got to see the real her soon enough.

He wore one of my “boring” shirts to class one day, his were all in need of a wash.

He sat beside her, and before he could say anything, she told him to find another seat because she didn’t sit with loser wannabes.

He told her he didn’t date fake-ass bitches and moved to sit up the back with me.

“I’m not sure you two actually have all that much in common,” I say, trying to sound blasé about the whole thing.

“If he likes you, he’ll love me, because I’m just you, but younger, hotter, and queerer.”

“Sure,” I say, and I nod toward the television. “Hit play already, younger, cooler me, before I fall asleep.

We watch the game, the commentary around my hit is surprisingly good, except for when they call me B-one.

I really wish they’d come up with a better nickname.

Other than that, I can’t help but think about what it might mean for me if Tony and Ash really do hit it off.

If these feelings really are just because of our fast friendship, then him dating my brother won’t be an issue, but even the thought of seeing them together turns my stomach.

Is it jealousy? Do I just want to keep Ash for myself because I’ve always shared everything with my brother, and for once, I had something that was all mine?

Except he isn’t mine. He’s a friend who has every right to date whoever the hell he wants.

So why is it that the idea of him dating my brother makes me feel all twisted inside?

How do I figure out if these feelings are more than just a fast friendship?

“Hey, Tony.”

“Yeah?” he asks before laughing at Yoyo walking back to the dugout, an animated goose sulking across the screen to signify him being struck out.

“How did you know you were bi?”

He presses pause on the television and turns toward me; one eyebrow cocked. I hate that he can do that. I never figured out how and end up looking like I’m having a seizure when I try.

“Oh yes, I’ve been waiting for the day you came to your senses.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Mom and Dad know how to make some sexy queers, that’s all. I mean Cosmo is as gay as they get, Brent is, too, and I’m bi, Rachel swears she’s straight, but she had that thing in college with her TA. You were the holdout.”

“Forget I asked.”

“No, no, come on. Sorry. I’m hopped up on cold medicine. Ask me again. I promise not to make it weird.”

He’s practically bouncing in his seat, and I consider just going to bed, but I sigh and ask it again.

“How did you know you were bi?”

“Our sixth-grade teacher, Mr. Wellington.”

“You kissed our teacher?”

“No. I had my first wet dream to our teacher. Do you remember him?”

“Not really, was he tall?”

“Tony rolls his eyes and clutches a cushion to his chest.

“He was all sorts of gorgeous. A total Chris Hemsworth type.”

“If you say so. So you knew since then?”

“No. I knew I wasn’t straight since then, the bi thing I sort of figured out in college when I still liked both chicks and guys.”

“So you feel the same way toward all of them?”

“No, I mean, it’s like…I am attracted to some people and those people just happen to be both men and women.

” I should give him points for not saying chicks again.

This is not helping. I can’t tell him that I’ve started to have feelings for Ash.

How do you explain to your brother that the guy he asked you to keep warm for him has been making you warm in so many new ways?

Fuck, this was a mistake.

“I think I just like recognized a guy as being attractive. That’s not anything, right?”

He shrugs. “It could be. But don’t get caught up on trying to define it now. Just go with it. Let it be what it will be.”

“Thanks,” I say, and he turns back to the game with a proud grin on his lips like he’s actually been helpful, when really I am even more confused than I was before.