Page 14 of Totally Played (Love In Play #5)
“No problem, here,” Ash says, pulling a card out of his wallet. “My mobile is on there. Let me know when and where, I’d be happy to beat you all over again.”
“I’m sure I’m not the only thing you’d like to beat,” Duckie mutters.
“What?” Ash asks, and Duckie smiles widely.
“Nothing. I’ll text you.”
“We should go,” I say, giving Rachel and Mom a hug, then turning to Ash. “See you after,” I say, and he puts his large hand on my shoulder, heat flooding under his touch.
“Have a great game.”
“Thanks,” I reply, and then I pull Duckie out of there.
“What are you doing after?” Duckie asks on our way back to the field.
“Dinner with the parents at Riverside.”
“Oh, right, I forgot you do that. And Ashley is going, too?”
“Yeah, he and Tony might be going out after.”
“Might be?”
“Tony invited him to a club, then double-booked with a woman he matched with on an app.”
“Not cool, so he’s what? Going to do both?”
I shrug. “Maybe.”
“And you’re fine with that?”
“I’m his brother, not his keeper.”
“No, I mean about him and Ashley.”
I turn, my heart pounding a million miles an hour.
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Just seemed like you two really hit it off.”
“We did. He’s a cool guy, we’re friends.”
“Are you sure that’s all you are?”
“Why?” What did he see? What does he know? Is it totally obvious to everyone that I’m crushing on this guy?
“It just seemed like he was really into you, so I wondered if maybe you might be… You know.”
“I’m straight,” I say, and even saying it out loud sounds wrong now.
“Sure. Okay. It was just a thought,” Duckie says, hands raised, palms out like he’s calming a wild animal. “You know it’s okay if you’re not sure, though, too.”
“Not sure about what?”
“About how straight the path you’re walking is. Some of the best ones have a little bend in them, you know.”
My heart is racing. The noise around us is like a static ringing in my ears.
“And you think I… That me… It’s not… I mean… I just…”
He offers me a knowing smile, and I crumble, my shoulders slumping in defeat.
“Is it that obvious?” I ask, glancing around us to be sure no one else is nearby.
He shakes his head. “I think I just saw it because a few years ago I was you.”
“But who is that? I mean, it’s weird. Like, I liked him right away, we just…clicked. And at first, I figured it was just a bro thing. A fast friendship.”
“And now?”
I shrug. “Now, I hate the thought of him dating my brother, or anyone.”
“But do you want to date him?”
I glance back up to the stands where Ash is laughing alongside my sister. He looks my way, that wide smile growing even bigger when our eyes meet, and my stomach flutters and my heart beats just a little faster.
“I don’t know what I want,” I tell him, forcing myself to turn my back on Ash.
“Talk to Tony. I’m sure he can help you figure it all out.”
“Tell my twin brother that I have a thing for the guy he’s dating?”
“What’s the worst that could happen?”
“He hates me.”
“You two are closer than any brothers I’ve ever known. No way is it going down like that. What do you call each other again? Oh, right, your ride or die. He’ll never hate you.”
“I guess I’ll have to find out.”
“After the game. Right now, we need to focus.” I nod and move into position.
Duckie is right. Tony and I have had each other’s backs since birth, hell, before even then.
I know I already sort of brought up the queer subject a few nights ago, but I didn’t tell Tony why I was asking.
I didn’t explain that meeting Ash changed something inside me or awakened something that was always there.
I don’t want to push down those feelings or forget that Ash brought them out of me.
I want the opposite. To be near him, to see what other desires he ignites.
The ball flies my way, and I’m pulled from my wandering thoughts just in time to raise my glove. The ball smacks hard, sending a sting through my palm. The crowd cheers. My gaze moves to Ash, he’s on his feet, a wide smile on his lips, and he’s cheering for me.
I toss the ball back to Ryan.
Okay. I have to tell Tony that I have feelings for a guy.
His guy. Tony steps out onto the field, next up to bat, glancing behind him to the stands, a frown spreads on his lips.
I follow his stare and see that Ash isn’t watching Tony.
His gaze is still firmly on me, and a moment later, so is Tony’s, only his frown is replaced by a raised brow and a knowing smile.
***
The second the game is over, I pull Tony aside.
“So Ash is the reason you were asking me all those questions the other night?” Tony asks as I pull him through the first door I see. Unfortunately, that is the door to a janitor’s closet and the metal mop bucket clangs as his foot connects. “Why you were asking how I knew I was bi?”
“You were no help, by the way.”
“I’m always helpful.”
“You started a debate about who in the Marvel universe was hotter.”
He shrugs and checks the shelf behind him before leaning back. The light in here is an old orange bulb that makes the room resemble one of those old photo processing labs back in high school.
“So who do you think is hotter, Scarlet Witch or Captain America?”
“Scarlet Witch, hands down,” I reply, and he frowns.
“Are you sure you’re not straight?”
I shrug. “I seriously have no idea what I am.”
“Okay, new question. Who’s hotter, Scarlet Witch, or Ash?”
I bite my lower lip as the image of Ash enters my mind.
“Okay, no one who looks like that when thinking about a guy is straight. Wow, so you like Ash?”
“I do. I mean, fuck, do you hate me?”
He makes a face like I’ve just shoved a pair of dirty socks under his nose.
“No way. Did you think I would?”
Butterflies swarm in my gut. “Not really. Maybe. I mean, we’ve never been into the same person before, and I wasn’t even sure I was into him, it just… He just…”
“It’s the corsets, right? So hot.”
I laugh. “It’s not the corsets.” He raises a brow.
“Okay, it’s not only the corsets. It’s… I don’t know. Different. Easy, but scary at the same time.”
“Sounds like love, brother.”
“I have no idea what it is, but I was sort of hoping to find out. If you and he didn’t hit it off. I mean, if you did, that’s cool. It sucks, but I get it. You were supposed to date him first.”
He shakes his head and wraps one arm over my shoulder. “He likes arcade games and plum sauce; I’ll be fine, little brother.”
“I’m older than you.”
“Are not.”
“Am, too.”
“Whatever. Can we go shower now? I’m starting to feel lightheaded with your pong surrounding us.”
“It’s you that stinks,” I say, shoving open the door. Coach Miles is walking past at the exact moment and shakes his head with a disapproving scowl.
“What? You ain’t never seen twins come out of the closet?” Tony laughs, and my cheeks burn, but Coach just waves it off and keeps on moving back toward the field.
“Seriously though, bro. You could have just told me you were into him,” Tony says, and I shrug.
“I meant what I said. I wasn’t sure I was into him. I’ve never even considered that I might not be straight.”
“I always said our parents know how to make ’em queer.”
“Please don’t say that at dinner.”
“Ha, no way, brother. You get to tell them when and if you ever want to. I’m not going to force you into that conversation, but just so you know,” he says, draping one arm over my shoulders and pulling me to his side. “They didn’t even blink when I told them about me.”
“Thanks, but I think I should figure out what I even am before I tell them anything at all. What are we…”
“Going to do about my date tonight?” he asks, and my stomach churns at the thought of him out with Ash again.
“Yeah, that.”
“Considering he talked about you most of our last date, I’m pretty sure he won’t mind if I cancel.”
“Did he really?” I ask, a smile immediately spreading across my face.
Tony laughs. “Yeah, it was super annoying, almost as annoying as the noises he makes when he eats.”
I chuckle. “I thought that might be an issue.”
“And you didn’t warn me? I feel betrayed.”
“You don’t, though, right? Not really?” I ask, and he shakes his head.
“Never. You’re my ride or die, remember.”
“Ride or die, always.”
“Now let’s get dinner over with so we can take you two dancing.”