Page 3 of Total Assist (For Puck’s Sake #13)

DASAN

I have imagined fucking Shively like this a few times, but never in my wildest dreams did I think he’d sound so damn good.

You can always hope that the person you’re fucking is as into it as you are, but sometimes, they’re just not.

Regardless of gender. Sometimes, your needs and theirs just don’t line up.

It’s clear with every deep thrust into him that he’s enjoying it.

“You’re so good,” I grunt.

Shively whimpers. This big, elegant man whimpers for me.

“So tight and hot,” I moan. “Look how well you fit my dick, Shiv. You like that? Like my dick inside you?”

“So big,” he whimpers. “God, I need to come.”

I pull his hand from his cock and keep it in mine. His whine gets louder, more desperate. “I’m going to come inside you,” I gasp. It’s right there. Just out of reach. I don’t have the breath to assure him that I’m wearing a condom, but I think he knows I put one on.

“Want me to come inside you, Shiv?”

“Yes,” he gasps. “My hole makes you feel good.”

I tuck my face into his neck and squeeze him a little tighter. “You can come on my dick as soon as I come. Understand?”

Shively nods wildly. “Come, Dasan. Please. Come in my hole.”

I do. It’s abrupt and intense. I gasp, then my eyes cross as his body tightens around my dick in the middle of my orgasm. It’s so damn good I have tears in my eyes when it’s over.

I’m left gasping. Shively trembles in my arms, his hole still rhythmically tightening around me. I grin when I realize I still have his hand trapped in mine which means he came hands free. Yep, I love that a whole fucking lot.

“You feel good?” Shively asks.

“Yes. Very. How do you feel?”

“I’ve never felt anything like that,” he says, voice incredibly quiet. “Is it you or… ass stuff?”

I laugh and kiss his shoulder. “Maybe it’s both.”

He sighs, and his trembling stops. Begrudgingly, I pull my cock from his body and roll away to discard the condom. On my way back to the bed, I eye the box in my bag. Maybe it’s presumptuous, but I bring it to the bed and climb back on behind him.

“You think you’re up for another round tonight?”

Shively looks at me over his shoulders. “Are you commenting on my age?”

I grin. “No. Your stamina.”

He huffs.

Laughing, I kiss his jaw. “Actually, I’m asking how sore you are.”

“If you want to?—”

“What I want is for you to tell me what you want, Shiv. I want you to stop turning it back on what I want.”

His eyebrows knit together, and I feel tension begin to stiffen his shoulders. “I…”

Submissive , a voice in my head reminds me. Maybe he’s not entirely aware why he’s struggling to answer. I roll Shively over and climb on top of him, so I can look into his eyes. “You want me to feel good. Don’t you?”

He nods immediately.

“You keep implying that your pleasure and needs are secondary. Are you doing that intentionally?”

His eyebrows knit together. “I didn’t… No, I guess I’m not.”

“Now that you know that you are, when I ask you if you want to have sex again tonight, what’s your answer?”

His smile is amused and small. “It’s not any different. If you don’t want to, then okay. If you want to, then okay.”

I sigh. “You’re frustrating.”

That’s the wrong thing to say. His entire body goes rigid.

“Woah, okay.” I kiss his lips. “Sorry. I take that back.” I kiss him all over until he begins relaxing. “I didn’t mean it like you’re taking it.”

“There are only so many ways to take it,” he says quietly.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. You’re trying to communicate, and I’m not respecting your answers. I’m very sorry, Shiv.”

He sighs.

“Let’s try again. Can you think of a different way to answer my question?”

“I like the way I feel when you’re fucking me,” he says. There’s shyness in his voice. Recognizing that he’s trying to hide in my neck, I don’t pick my face up to look at him, continuing to give him that safe space. “It feels good, but… I want you to feel good… first?”

“I think our breakdown is that you’re not entirely sure what you’re trying to say. Is that accurate?”

This time, his sigh is one of relief. “Yes. I’m not trying to be frustrating.”

Fuck. I’m an asshole.

“I will never say something like that to you again, Shiv. I never want you to feel bad when you’re trying to tell me something and I don’t understand.”

He nods. “Okay.”

“Do you forgive me? A no is perfectly acceptable.”

“I forgive you. I don’t think you were trying to make me feel bad.”

It’s interesting knowing that this man is my coach, someone who yells at us all to get our shit together on a daily basis during the season. Right now, he’s basically split open and sharing his vulnerability with me.

“Let’s try something.” I adjust so my knees bend under his and I’m resting on my forearms. “I’m going to tell you what I want to do, then you tell me how you feel about it. Excited, nervous, scared, uninterested, happy, horny—whatever. Okay?”

He looks far more relaxed now. “Yes.”

“I want to fuck you again. Maybe a little harder now that I know you like it. I want to make sure you feel the power of my piercing as it drags over places you didn’t know could feel good.

I want to come inside you—with a condom—and feel you come on my cock again.

I want you to take me however I feel like fucking you and for however long I want to fuck.

Maybe I want to fuck you for a third time before the sun comes up.

I want you to sleep in here, so if I’m horny in the night, I can wake you up and fuck you again.

I also want you to only come hands free on me for the night. Now. Tell me how that makes you feel?”

Shively licks his lips. “Horny. Excited. Nervous. Anxious.” He pauses. “Ready.”

“Do all those things add up to you wanting that too, or do you have any reservations? Did anything I said make you uncomfortable?”

“Will you wake me up before we have sex?” he asks.

“Absolutely. You will be fully conscious before I touch you sexually at all. Every single time. I promise.”

He was nervous about that. I can hear it in the way his breath sounds a little shaky, so I go one step further.

“Everything we do requires your consent at all times, Shiv. When I ask you if you want something, I need you to think about the permission you’re granting me when you answer.

It’s not only about who wants what. This is your body.

You always have control over your body.”

“This sounds like…” Shively shakes his head. “I can’t think of the words.”

“It’s the way sex and body autonomy is supposed to be. This is what we’re supposed to be taught. Regardless of anything else that might transpire in a relationship, consent should be first and foremost, and it can be revoked at any time.”

His smile is soft. “Thank you,” he says, and for a minute, there’s a shift inside him.

Like he’s a combination of our refined coach and the man who unraveled for me a short time ago.

“I admit that I was really nervous coming in here. Not just because of who you are to me but because I haven’t been with a man.

You did everything right, so thank you for taking away my fear and leaving me with nothing but a positive experience. ”

“There’s a lot about you and me that I think we’d have a ton of fun exploring,” I tell him.

“As you pointed out, our professional relationship kind of puts a wrench into it. I want you to know that whatever happens after we leave this hotel is between us. We can lie to each other and say this doesn’t change anything because it can’t, yet I think we both know that’s a lie. It does change things. Doesn’t it?”

There it is. The first sign of discomfort and fear.

“You’re not listening,” I say, bringing his eyes to mine.

“You’re reading between the lines and finding disastrous results.

That’s not what’s going to happen. Everything hockey related is unchanged.

You are my coach, and I will always do as you say as my coach.

That doesn’t change and never will. I will always respect you as my coach. ”

Shively sags in relief.

“But that doesn’t mean something hasn’t shifted between us, does it?”

“No,” he agrees.

“I’m not saying it’s a good idea that we pursue something. As much as I dislike the words and the idea, it’s probably a better idea that we don’t. But maybe if we have a mutual itch we want to scratch from time to time, I’m down for that.”

Shively is not quite convinced. I can see the struggle in his eyes.

I touch his face gently, running my fingers along the barely there stubble on his jaw. It’s like petting a cat. He practically purrs. “No pressure, Shiv,” I assure him. “I’m telling you that if you need something, if you want something, I’m not going to tell you no.”

This kind of forces him to acknowledge and act upon when he wants something, which I’m more or less relieving him of tonight.

“Okay,” he answers at last.

“I’m also very glad this has been a positive experience for you. I hope you take nothing but good feelings away from here when we leave.”

He smiles, and it’s a little shy. There’s something about a shy Shively that makes my chest tight. I’m reminded that he’s not just trusting me with his body tonight. There are things he’s opened up about that he’s also trusting me with.

“What do you think? More fucking?”

The shyness in his smile vanishes as he grins. “Yes, please.”

I know the moment I open my eyes that the calm, excited, and horny man I had in bed last night has given way to an anxious, nervous, and somewhat fearful Shively. As soon as I look into his eyes, I see that he’s on the verge of freaking out.

While I’m barely awake, I adjust so I can take his face in my hands and pull him close, rubbing my thumbs soothingly over his cheeks. “Shh,” I murmur. “What happened, Shiv? Why did you wake up panicked?”

“You’re my player. I’m your coach. I’m going to get fired,” he says, voice much higher than it usually is.

“No one is going to know. This is our dirty little secret.”

I mean for the tease to ease his mind, but the wildness in his eyes isn’t fading.

“They’re going to find out,” he insists.

“No one will find out. You’re going to walk out of here as if this was your room, then you’re going to go to your room as if nothing happened. I won’t leave until later. No one will know. No one will even think to question us.”

“What if someone asks?”

“Do you really think that someone is going to come up to you and ask, ‘Hey, Shively. How was fucking Dasan last night?’ I don’t.”

“No, not that question. But they’re going to ask about the benefit. Someone will know you were there. Someone will have seen us together.”

“I’m with you all the time. You’re my coach. Besides, neither of us knew anyone. It’s not at all unreasonable that we hung around a familiar face.”

“But someone might?—”

“Hush,” I say, placing my thumb over his lips. He needs something. I search his eyes, trying to figure out what I can do to ease his mind.

Submissive , I remind myself. Maybe I need to see if treating him a little more as such might ease his mind.

“Get up,” I tell him. “Off the bed.”

Shively takes a deep breath and does as he’s told. I scoot to the edge so I can swing my legs over the side. The pillow from last night is right where we left it.

“Bring the pillow here and put it at my feet. Good. Kneel in front of me.” I scooch a bit closer to him until my semi bobs in front of his face. “Put me in your mouth, Shiv.”

He does. Eagerly. His eyes close. I mean to tell him to suck, but his mouth moves over me in a way that’s not entirely sexual. Ah. Maybe this man has an oral fixation.

I silently watch as he gently suckles me. It takes him several minutes, but the tension in his shoulders begins to relax. After some time, I softly stroke his hair. His eyes flutter open and his mouth pauses, though it doesn’t appear as if he sees me.

“Continue,” I tell him.

Shively swallows. It takes him another minute to figure out what he’d been doing. While he suckles, I pet his face and stroke his hair.

“Listen to me,” I say gently, and his eyes meet mine while he continues to suck on me like I’m a pacifier.

Slowly, his pupils shrink back to a more normal size, and he’s looking at me.

He’s seeing me. “I promise you that everything is going to be fine when we leave here. I won’t let anything happen to you.

We’re going to be coach and player just as we’ve always been.

I’m going to flirt with you, and you’re going to roll your eyes at me.

Nothing at all will get in the way of that. Okay?”

He nods.

“And when you’re feeling stressed and want to suck on my cock, you can.”

Now he rolls his eyes, but he’s not ready to let me go, so he doesn’t. I smirk.

“I meant what I said last night. Hockey is hockey. That’s something completely separate—a different reality if you want to think of it that way. Nothing we ever do will interfere because we’re not going to let it. Right?”

Shively nods again.

“Good. Now be a good boy and suck me until you’re feeling calm.

Then you can be an even better boy and suck me until I get off.

When I’m finished with my orgasm, we’re going to take a shower and get cleaned up.

You’ll walk out of this room as if it’s yours, and no one is going to pay you any attention at all.

You’ll go to your room and carry on with your day. Am I clear?”

He nods for a third time.

“Do you feel good about that plan?”

I’m pleased when he doesn’t hesitate to nod his agreement. I continue to pet him.

“Good. I do too. Take what you need from me, Shiv. Take whatever comfort you need until you feel confident enough to do just what I said we’d do. We’ll go from there.”

Shively suckles me for quite some time, and honestly, once you get used to the hints of arousal continuously trickling through your body, it is surprisingly soothing.

As I watch him and gently smooth my fingers through his hair, it takes me a while to realize that maybe this is a precursor to him finding subspace.