Page 23 of Total Assist (For Puck’s Sake #13)

DASAN

The whistle blows just as I’m skating with the puck to Washington’s defensive zone. My shoulders tense. This isn’t Matt, the ref who fucked with our last game against Washington, on the ice tonight. Still, I think my entire team is a little tense.

Not that it was their fault. Not at all. Washington was entirely innocent in the bullshit that went down a week and a half ago.

I stand straight and let myself glide along the ice as I wait for the call. The refs confer, then one skates in front of the camera to make his call.

“Number eighteen, Winnipeg. Tripping. Two minutes.”

I roll my eyes and head for the sin bin. Once seated, I squirt water into my mouth from the bottle there, my eyes flickering up to the time. There are three minutes left in the game, and while I mean to just look at the clock, I end up watching the replay.

My stick hits Washington number nine, and I turn to go after the puck. My stick remains with nine, and yep, there it is. Hits his skate.

Huh. Well, fine. He totally tripped over my stick. I didn’t intentionally trip him, but this is one of those moments when I should have been more aware of where my stick was. That’s on me. And a legitimate call.

I look at my team. Coach is watching me, so I try to give him an “oops” expression.

He shakes his head, but I’m pretty sure he’s smiling as he turns away.

I sit in my time-out as I watch the game.

We’re going to lose this one. It’s 1-4 and incredibly unlikely that we’re going to catch up in the last three minutes.

We generally do pretty well against Washington, but I think the last game with them really fucked us up. We’re simply waiting for shit calls now, and I think it’s making us overly careful. Far too cautious.

The puck goes back and forth while I’m in the sin bin.

When I’m released back onto the ice, I skate to the bench and take a seat, allowing Wiley to head to the ice instead.

Coach’s hand rests on my shoulder. I hope that means he understands I didn’t mean to do that.

That was definitely my bad for not paying enough attention.

No more goals are made on either side for the rest of the game. I’m glad that they didn’t beat us by more than three but frustrated that they beat us at all.

My team is quiet as we head to the locker room. This time, it’s because we know our loss is totally on our heads. We messed up tonight. We were so busy waiting for something stupid to be called on us that we didn’t play at our best performance.

There’s a lot to be said about our mental states.

Sighing, I strip out of my pads and stuff them in my bag. Naked, I pad down through the visitors’ locker room toward the showers and step under the spray of cold water. A shiver runs through me. It doesn’t take long for the water to heat since others are using hot water too.

With my eyes closed, I bow my head and let the water penetrate my hair until it’s soaking my scalp. Then I take a few minutes and let the halo braid out so my long hair falls around me like a soggy curtain.

“Dasan?”

I pick my head up to look at Felton’s shadow outside the curtain. “Yeah?”

“You okay?”

I frown. Why does everyone keep asking me that? It feels like I’m asked every hour, though maybe I’m just exaggerating the frequency. Maybe I feel defensive about the question because something is bothering me.

“Yeah, Fel. I’m fine. Are you?”

“Oh. Yeah, I’m good. Just a dumb luck game tonight.”

I snort. It was more than dumb luck.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

Frowning, I step out from under the water and pull the curtain back a little to meet his eyes. “Yeah, man. Why aren’t you convinced?”

Felton stares at me and shakes his head. “I don’t know. You feel… off.”

Yep, apparently my mojo is showing, and it’s not in a good way. “I’m just tired, Fel, and this game blew.”

He nods.

“Get in the shower beside mine, and we’ll talk through the wall like we’re kids.”

As I was expecting, a big smile splits his face. “Okay.”

I watch him dip into the stall beside mine and close my curtain. His water turns on just before I step back under mine.

“Can you hear me?” Felton calls.

Before I answer, Marion does. “Yes. Hear you.”

Felton laughs. “Not you, boo. My shower neighbor.”

Marion snorts. “I can be neighbor. We will talk.”

“Okay, cool. Dasan, Marion is joining the chat.”

“Noted. Thanks.”

We spend the next several minutes talking about nothing over the water, and honestly, it helps ease my tension. By the time we head back to the cubbies to get dressed, we’re not the only three feeling a little lighter.

Felton has that effect on people. He’s such a boisterous personality that you not only feel it when he’s down, like a punch to the gut, but you can also feel his good energy seep into your body. As if he gives off radio waves, but they’re the good kinds.

His good mood carries us through the bus ride to the hotel, and I keep it even as I get off on Shively’s floor. I’m sure he’s not here yet since I left him in the lobby.

However, the silence of the hall seeps in, and with it comes the quiet frustration to once more simmer beneath my skin.

I’m not only frustrated with my own performance tonight but ours as a team.

I’m glad I’m not a coach. Watching my team work their asses off and still not do what they're supposed to would be too much for me.

I couldn't handle that frustration without losing my shit.

It’s not long that I’m sitting in the chair in the dark of the hotel room with nothing but the bathroom light on when I hear the door beep and open. It closes almost silently, followed by the snap of the lock and the pull out of the extra security stopper.

Shively comes around the corner. He’s silent as he strips down until he’s completely naked.

His tall, lean frame walks across the room, being swallowed by shadows, to grab a pillow from the bed.

He drops it on the floor in front of me and gets to his knees, his hands behind his back, his eyes rising to meet mine.

“Beautiful,” I murmur. “Such a beautiful omega.”

He sighs, and I can visibly see his shoulders relax.

“Rough night,” I say. “Wasn’t it?”

Shively nods. “My team was trapped in their heads, Alpha.”

“And some of us made some stupid, amateur mistakes like forgetting where our damn stick is.”

The corner of his mouth rises. “It happens.”

I sigh. “Come here and take my clothes off.”

Shively gets to his feet. I don’t make his work easy, and he gives me a dubious look when I don’t readily help him get my pants off. Eventually, he manages to get me naked and retakes his position on his knees.

“Suckle my dick. I need to feel you on me.”

He pushes his pillow closer to me and rests his head on my thigh, taking my hard cock in his mouth. A shiver of pleasure runs through me as he sucks. It’s gentle. Weird to say, but it’s soothing as well.

I watch him, running my fingers through his hair. His eyes begin to drift closed. “Have you been telling me when you need this, or have you been letting me guess?”

His eyes open again and shift to look into mine. Shively swallows. “You’ve been making me guess, haven’t you?”

I appreciate his honesty. He nods, though it’s subtle.

“Might be time to discuss punishment, hm?”

Shively’s shoulders tense. His mouth stops moving as he looks at me. There’s a tremor of fear in his eyes.

“Are you scared?”

He nods, a little more intentional this time.

“Why? What are you scared of?”

His mouth releases me, though his hand grips my dick in absence of his mouth. “I don’t want to be punished. I want to be good for you.”

“It gives you anxiety when you’re not,” I note.

“Yes,” Shively says, bowing his head. “I’m sorry, Alpha.”

“During our vacation, we’ll work on punishments. So far, we have two somewhat minor disobediences. Correct?”

“Yes, Alpha.”

I don’t miss the way his shoulders tense again. My gut twists with my next words. “Do you not want to go on vacation?”

His eyes meet mine. “I do. More than anything.”

“Then why did you physically react that way?”

Shively takes a deep breath and blows it out, his cheeks puffing. This is something he doesn’t want to discuss. I am learning all his little tells, but it’s slow going when he’s not good about telling me himself.

“I’m… concerned with meeting this group of people. Together. As… this,” he answers.

“Are you familiar with the Isle of Kala, Shiv?” He shakes his head.

“It’s a gay resort that spans several islands, and it’s entirely technology free.

Everyone who steps foot on the resort must sign NDAs.

I admit that the residents, which are who we’re meeting with, do have access to personal technology, but honey, they’ve lived an NDA life, treating everyone they come into contact with as anonymous strangers the entire time they’ve lived there.

For some of them, that means their entire life. ”

Shively’s staring at me, questions rolling in his eyes.

“What are you thinking?”

“It’s a gay resort? We’re going to a gay resort?”

I laugh. “Yes. I assure you there are the occasional heteros dropping in on their action for the anonymity it offers, but it’s probably booked 99% of the time by members of the LGBTQIA+ community. There’s no place like it in the world as far as that’s concerned.”

“But… are we allowed there? Do they really want straight people there?”

I wait for him to hear the words he’s saying. It takes him several minutes of me watching him with amusement before he realizes.

Shively huffs. “Guess neither of us is straight, huh?”

“I can tell you that I’ve never been straight, though I haven’t exactly embraced my bisexuality either.”

Shively sighs. “And this isn’t a straight relationship, either.”

“It’s not,” I agree.

“So… it’s safe.”

“It’s safe. I promise.”

Shively chews his lip then nods. “Okay.”

“Do you feel better about it now?”

He nods. “Yeah.”

“I’ll tell you what. When we get home, you have some homework. You’re going to research the fuck out of the Isle of Kala. I want a report when you’re finished. A written report. Three pages.”

He looks horrified, and I laugh. “Looks like we found a punishment that you’re not thrilled about, didn’t we?”

“I hated school,” he says sadly.

“Come here. Back on my dick. Let me think about the second punishment. Or maybe you need three since this one is really in response to you not trusting your alpha to protect you and keeping that to yourself.”

His mouth is already back on me, but I can see his face scrunch. I smile, brushing my fingers through his hair. My smile softens as minutes tick by and I continue to admire my boy.

“I’m going to take care of you, Shiv. I really, really want you to trust me with that. With your privacy. With your safety. With your needs. With your peace.”

Once more, Shively pulls his mouth from me. “I trust you.”

“I need your actions to prove that as well.”

Shively bows his head and takes my dick back in his mouth. I watch for a long time as he suckles. He’s wide awake for a while, but eventually, his eyelids begin to droop. The thing is, I’m not convinced he’s actually sleeping.

While I don’t know much about subspace—something I need to work on learning about—what I think is going on in these moments is Shively losing himself in that state. Or the beginning of it. Maybe he’s not fully reaching it yet.

There’s a lot about this lifestyle that I don’t know. Up until I met Shively… That’s inaccurate. Up until I got involved with Shively, I’d been content with the extent of my education. I was sure I’d be ready if someone presented me with the right opportunity to be their dom.

And maybe I’d have been fine with this exact arrangement with someone else. Part of me thought I’d do a few scenes here and there and call it a day. Dabble as a dom.

This is different. I know some necessary conversations haven’t been had. I’m not comfortable promising things I don’t fully understand, so I’ve put the conversations off. That’s why I want some guidance. That’s why I want to talk to another dom. That’s what I’m hoping to get out of this trip.

I also don’t want Shively to feel uncomfortable.

The cottage I booked us is completely private.

There are no others around for quite a ways.

It’s been built on one of their new islands, one that snakes through the others and provides the exact kind of landscape to allow private cottages within a resort like this.

We’ll have our privacy, and we’ll have the means to meet some other kinksters. Some other doms and their subs, anyway. I’m still a little fuzzy if we would call ourselves kinksters or not.

We’ll have a week to just be together. Learn together. To explore this relationship in a way that hockey hasn’t allowed us. I’m looking forward to complete privacy where there’s no chance of interruption.

In that time, maybe we’ll be able to determine if this is simply something we’re trying on or something we want to grow into something serious. In my heart, I think I want something serious. I want Shively Myers to remain in my life, just like this.

The thought makes me grin. Okay, maybe not just like this. He doesn’t need to suck my dick all the time. But like this—intimate. Trusting. Comfortable.

Maybe I’m making a mistake by bringing him there.

Maybe this will be the thing that tries his trust in me a little too much.

But if we’re going to grow as a couple, especially if we want to continue this dom/sub relationship outside of the bedroom like we’ve been dabbling in, I need someone to learn from. I need a mentor.

It wouldn’t hurt Shively to make some connections with other submissives, either. I know he’s scared that this trip is going to out us, but I think it’ll help us grow more than anything. We won’t be outed—not our sexuality and not our relationship.

We’re going to be okay. With any luck, we’re going to leave Kala at the end of the week much, much closer than we arrived.