Page 8 of Too Sexy for My Hooves (Inn or Out #2)

I tied a cloth over my face to reduce the smell while I located the rake and wheelbarrow. Honestly, this work was no worse for me than composting my herb gardens back home. I was shoveling centaur manure like a madwoman when Jezel showed up uninvited.

“Good Goddess, Selene, what in the seven hells are you doing?”

My answer got muffled by the cloth over my mouth. “What’s it look like? I’m cleaning the centaur’s room,” I said, pointing to the dwindling pile of poop. “It wasn’t going to remove itself.”

Jezel snorted. “I understand the task, but why are you not using the inn’s magic to get rid of it?

If you had an entire house full of guests, you’d never get all the chores done manually.

Pull out the inn’s wand, witch. That’s why I gave it to you.

Even using your weaker normal wand would be better than shoveling the excrement yourself. ”

Ignoring my translucent tormentor, I pushed the now full wheelbarrow to the end of the stables and set it just outside the door. Upon returning to the area, I gathered the breakfast dishes into a tub I’d brought with me and piled the trash on top of them.

“I thought I would start a compost pile on the edge of the inn’s grounds. In a few months, the real innkeeper will be able to use the decomposed materials to grow vegetables. They can call me if they want me to help. I wouldn’t mind that.”

Jezel rolled her eyes. “Good Goddess... not this nonsense, again.”

I stopped tugging on the fresh hay bale and stared at her. “What are you complaining about now?”

Jezel grunted indignantly. “ You are the real innkeeper .”

Snorting, I went back to tugging hay out of the bale.

“It is not nonsense... and no, I am not the real innkeeper. When my incarceration period is done, I will be leaving this place. Until then, I’m willing to do the job to keep busy because it beats doing nothing.

Also, I like the idea of making the inn’s owner owe me. ”

Jezel crossed her transparent arms. “Your foolish views on your presence here don’t explain why you are not using the inn’s magic to do guest chores. That’s a no-brainer as you people like to say.”

“Because I tried to use the inn’s magic to soundproof my bedroom, and the wand wouldn’t obey me.

Also, you wouldn’t come when I called. Neither you nor your wand will control my power with your magical threats, bribes, or withholding.

My bare minimum requirement for this Goddess-forsaken place is to be truly alone in the room where I fall unconscious every night.

You need to wake up and smell today’s reality, Jezel.

You’re determined to sell me your ancient shit and I don’t need more that.

I have a wheelbarrow full just outside the stable. ”

Agitated, Jezel crossed and uncrossed her arms. “Your focus should be more on your work here and less on the progression of your relationship with the bear. There will time for him later if you absolutely must have him.”

I stopped spreading hay to glare at her.

“Farley is the only thing that makes being here tolerable. No matter what you think, being an innkeeper is not my real work. The inn comes with an ugly uniform and a bossy ghost guardian who thinks I don’t use magic well.

What witch in her right mind would accept such a situation? I’m going to be your witch robot.”

Jezel threw up her hands. “While I still lived in my mortal form, I spelled the inn to find a proper keeper whenever it needed one. The selection process it uses has worked for centuries. The last innkeeper was a darling widow. She wanted nothing more than to care for the guests.”

“If I’m correct about the last time this place was alive, your darling innkeeper would have worked in the early 1900s.

Good luck finding a modern witch willing to give up her entire life for this place.

I have physical needs and career plans, Jezel.

Those plans do not include staying at this place like some country bumpkin old maid. ”

Jezel watched me spread fresh straw in the stall. “I thought your bear said he would spread that for you.”

“He did, but Farley’s also helping Paul with the front porch.

I’m trying to keep this place from falling apart.

Yet, as I already said, you need to leave Farley out of this.

Farley is a genius inventor, a weapons maker, and the creator of things I can’t even begin to explain.

His father is a renowned scientist, and his brothers are extraordinary too.

If you’re thinking of leveraging the bear shifter to keep me here at the inn, that’s not going to happen, either.

Farley comes and goes from the Assjacket area just like his brothers.

No bear in that amazing family is going to stick around an old inn wearing a silly pilgrim costume and cleaning up after centaurs. ”

“You can’t answer for him. The bear adores you. He would walk through fire to be with you. Few witches find that sort of devotion, Selene.”

“Yes, I am well aware of Farley’s good points,” I said, glaring at her as I closed the stall door.

The ghostly guardian of the inn needed a reality check, and I was the right person to give her one.

“You and the inn hibernated during the last century while the magical world underwent a significant evolution.”

“Life is cyclical. Things don’t truly change. They just repeat.”

I chuckled. “That’s true, but also short-sighted. Are you aware that dragons live and flourish out in the open now? That came about because the previous witch protectress turned into one.”

“I remember her well, but I prefer the newest one. The Baba Yaga is not as quick to make a rash decision.”

I laughed. “If you think that, you don’t know Carol very well. Putting me in this place to satisfy a councilwoman trying to stab her in the back seems pretty rash to me.”

“You are rash by nature. I’m surprised you would notice.”

“I hate it here,” I said, finishing the stall.

I turned to look at her. “The witch protectress operates as a free agent, rather than being a contract slave to the Council of Witches. She acts as she pleases. Don’t even get me started on the brazenness of evildoers these days.

You saw what Ethan and his wanker mother did while trying to steal the fairy’s power.

Every action ripples, Jezel. The centaur is only here because the fairy queen cursed her potential son-in-law to torment her royal daughter.

The inn is currently serving as nothing more than a respite for stressed paranormals needing time away from their manipulative families. ”

“Yes, I overheard your morning conversation with the fairy princess.”

I huffed. “That doesn’t surprise me since I have no privacy. You can add your spying and eavesdropping to the list of reasons I’m not interested in being your full-time lackey.”

Jezel lifted a hand. “You had the inn’s wand in your pocket. It was impossible not to overhear.”

“You’ve been speaking to me in my head since your first appearance. You could have warned me you were listening, but you didn’t bother. What kind of conclusions do you expect me to draw from your silence?”

“I was keeping silent to be polite.”

I let my eye roll speak as loudly as my words because Jezel was pretending to be obtuse as well as innocent. Neither was true.

When I left the stable, I could feel her floating behind me. I heard hammering out front and moved through the yard to the back door. Once inside the kitchen once more, I took the wand out of my back pocket and smacked it down on the beautiful counter.

“If I leave this here, do you have to stay with it? Because I definitely don’t want you trailing me to the bathroom and watching me clean up.”

Jezel sighed without answering me. She might be from another era, but sarcasm was timeless.

I turned and went to my room. A quick wash and a change of shoes made me feel better.

Jezel was right that it would be tough if I had to do that kind of cleaning manually every day.

I had no idea how long Lord Alfred and Prince Robin would be staying.

They could be here for weeks, and the thought didn't make me happy.

Needing more tea to even think about it, I put the kettle on to boil. Jezel’s presence seemed to be gone. I tucked the wand in my back pocket, but I didn’t bother calling her back because it wouldn’t change anything.

Her idea of an innkeeper was a docile witch who used her magic only under duress. Carol often asked me to help her track down rogue magicals because I didn’t mind confrontations or doing whatever was necessary to bring someone in.

Jezel should have discussed it with Carol before raising her hopes about me. I didn’t run away weeping when I caught Ethan being unfaithful. Instead, I punished him. And despite my unfair incarceration, I still had zero regrets about my actions and would do the same again.

Life came with consequences. People who didn’t think so were lying to themselves. I’d long ago decided that I’d rather live on my terms and deal with what came from my decisions, rather than cower in fear and never take a risk.

Docile was not a word that would ever describe me—not if I could help it.

And it wasn’t my fault that the inn made a mistake in choosing me.