Page 14 of Too Sexy for My Hooves (Inn or Out #2)

By the time Farley came to dinner, Prince Robyn had returned to his centaur form.

He’d gone to the stable, and Peace had gone to her room.

Neither had wanted dinner, but I was making trays for them despite their protests.

It was a telling sign of what I would be like as a mother, but that was a worry I’d indulge another day.

“Any luck cracking the spy yet?” Farley asked.

“No, but to be fair, I’ve been intentionally giving her a low-level headache with every meal. She’s emerged from her room once or twice, but hasn’t managed to harass Prince Robin or Peace yet. I truly hate politics and sneaking around, but Jezel’s suggestion to afflict her was a good one.”

“Too bad the fairy queen wasn’t willing to come here herself. If she saw Robin and Peace together, I’m sure she’d step aside and let them work things out on their own. A blind person could see they’re into each other.”

I smiled at him. “Just like I am definitely into you. I wish you were into me in more than the metaphorical sense.”

Farley growled, stood, and leaned over the kitchen counter to kiss me. “I have never hated a metaphor so much. When are your guests leaving?”

My laughter was soft, and my heart was light. “I don’t know, but it can’t be too soon for me.”

I rose to carry our empty plates to the sink.

My regular clothes disappeared as the new innkeeper’s outfit appeared.

My involuntary wardrobe change coincided with the doorbell ringing, as it always did.

While Farley watched me with great interest, I reached under the weighted skirt to rescue the inn’s wand from the back of my underwear.

I made yet another mental note to speak to Jezel about not leaving the wand in that same place every time.

“Nice outfit, babe. You look really good,” Farley said. “Do you want me to answer the door?”

“No,” I said with a sigh. “I’d better deal with whoever it is, since I might have to use Jezel to protect the prince.”

Wand in hand, I headed for the door. Caution. An army awaits you, Jezel announced in my head .

“Army?” I repeated aloud, smirking at the thought. How could I possibly provide rooms for an entire army? Was I supposed to rent them the entire yard so they could put up tents? This wasn’t a campground.

I opened the door and stared into the cold eyes of an irritated fairy fully dressed in battle armor.

He gave me a once-over and came to an entire set of conclusions.

I watched as his assumptions passed through his gaze before he spoke.

I suddenly could see the value of the horrific innkeeper outfit.

It was so ugly that it naturally disrupted normal thoughts.

“I assume you are the innkeeper of this place,” the fairy leader said without bothering to greet me. His tone couldn’t have been more condescending. He sounded like Lord Alfred when we first met.

I narrowed my eyes. “That’s awfully presumptuous. Perhaps I just like to dress up for dinner, which you are rudely interrupting.”

“I’m not here to jest with you, woman. I’m here with a purpose.”

“If you’re not here as a guest or here to harm my guests, your purposes don’t concern me. Be on your way.”

My stony stare and terse dismissal made him blink. I’d been practicing in the mirror in case Ethan returned. One thing I had to admit about this gig was that not a single day here was boring.

I tapped the wand on my palm, waved a hand at him. He slid back far enough on the porch for me to open the door and exit the house.

Once outside, I blocked the door with my body and crossed my arms. The wand sparked in my hand. It was the only warning I would give him.

“I have no vacancies tonight and clearly not enough room for you and your people to become my guests. So why are you here?”

“I have not come to stay, Innkeeper. I have come to rescue someone.”

While I stood there absorbing his threat, the army leader waved a hand, and twenty archers raised their bows. He waved at the archers and sneered at me. “See? This is me not jesting about why I’m here.”

I raised one eyebrow, pointed my wand, and their weapons disappeared from their hands. Soldiers turned to each other and exclaimed in shock.

I turned to glare at their leader. “And that was me showing you that you have no power here. Guests are protected by the inn. Your rudeness, Commander, makes me want to dig out my well. Now answer my questions before I get angry. Who are you, and why are you and your army here?”

He straightened to glare back at me. “I am Prince William of Locksley. I don’t know why you are holding my youngest brother hostage, but I demand you release him immediately.”

Oh, Good Goddess ... I chuckled and uncrossed my arms. “Prince Robin of Locksley and Lord Alfred are here, but they are my guests. Their stay was arranged by Princess Peace and Harmony, who is also staying here. Who told you Prince Robin was here as a hostage?”

Prince William blinked at me in surprise. “Are you certain my brother is here as a guest?”

I pointed the wand at myself. “I’m an innkeeper, and this is an inn. The only person being held hostage in this place is me. Don’t ask why, though, it’s too long a story to tell. Just accept that your brother is here to seek a reprieve from his cursed life. I will allow no harm to come to him.”

Prince William looked back at his people. There were so many that they barely all fit in the yard. “Where is the informant? Bring him forward.”

Two soldiers made their way through the crowd, carrying a whining, resistant Ethan between them.

Watching him getting dragged forward felt like some surreal scene in a fantasy movie.

It was incredibly satisfying to see him being manhandled.

I was beyond ready to sacrifice my ex and let the gods deal with him.

“Ethan. Ethan. What mischief are you up to now?”

The soldiers tossed him at the bottom of the stairs, where Prince William and I could stare down at him. Ethan bounced in the dirt, and then just as quickly bounced up to his feet. “I came here to right a wrong.”

“What did you hope to gain by lying to Prince William about his brother?” I asked.

Ethan glared for all he was worth. “I did not lie to him. His brother is here.”

“What were you hoping to achieve, Ethan? The inn’s guests are none of your concern.”

“And why I’m here is none of yours,” Ethan said snidely, throwing my words back at me with a grin.

I turned away to look at Prince William. “What did Ethan ask of you in exchange for his information about your brother’s whereabouts?”

“He asked us to kill you.” A frowning Prince William looked between me and Ethan. He raised a finger and pointed at Ethan. “How do you know him?”

“I’m ashamed to admit that Ethan is a former boyfriend. We broke up a long time ago, yet he’s been causing me problems ever since.”

The entire fairy army groaned and threw up their hands in disgust over having wasted their time. I deserved an acting award for not laughing at the look of shock on Ethan’s face.

“Nothing is amusing about this situation. She’s an evil witch,” Ethan yelled at them.

When they smirked at him, he became angrier.

“The woman is crazy too. She talks to a ghost and wields the power of this haunted house—more power than any fairy can ever hope to possess. Even your queen is not as powerful as she is. This place is a magical threat and should be burned to the ground.”

I blew out a breath and rolled my eyes so high they nearly touched the brim of my witch’s hat. “Yes, and don’t forget to tell them the part about me getting your mother put in prison for trying to steal the fairy queen’s crystal. That’s my favorite.”

I diplomatically omitted the seduction game Ethan had played with Peace. I feared one of the fairies would impale him to prevent him from bragging about their beloved princess.

To my utter delight, the entire fairy army groaned again and threw up their hands once more.

It was a very Monty Python moment, and I grinned widely at Ethan for making it possible.

“Whatever you’re doing, it’s not going to work.

The truth will always remain the truth, no matter how many lies you tell. ”

I felt Farley step out of the door behind me.

His clothes smoothly changed from jeans and a t-shirt into a version of what I had dressed Robin in earlier.

Being almost seven feet tall, the entire army gasped when Farley roared at them in welcome.

Then they cheered and clapped at the magic that had transformed him.

Some probably clapped at how amazing he looked in his new outfit because he looked just as princely as Prince Robin.

Forgetting that we had an audience, I stepped toward him and smiled up at him. “Nice outfit,” I whispered.

Farley stared down into my eyes until his fangs appeared. His head was descending toward me before I snapped free of the spell his presence always wove around me.

Prince William straightened and cleared his throat. “Who is the bear?”

I smiled at Farley as I answered. “This bear is the new male in my life. Ethan refuses to believe I’ve moved on. Are you seeing the entire picture yet, Prince William?”

“I am,” the irritated prince said before he turned to glare at Ethan. “You, sir, are a liar. Bind him. Perhaps a month in our kingdom’s prison will be enough to teach the man not to lie to a fairy prince.”

“No! You promised me a reward if I led you to her,” Ethan said as two of Prince William’s men bound his wrists. “You won’t get away with this, Selene. I’m going to keep coming back until I get my way.”

“If you keep returning, I will eventually have to kill you, Ethan. You’re trying my patience.”

Prince William turned back, glanced at Farley, and then brought his full attention to me. “I apologize for my behavior earlier. Is my brother well? Is Princess Peace with him?”