Page 95 of TJ Powar Has Something to Prove

“I mean you can be attracted to someone’s personality before their looks.”

His eyes are piercing. TJ frowns. But that’s all they have time for, because the applause fades away, and Jenna is called up to speak.

“In life, in school, in your job, success depends on your own hard work. Good looks will only get you so far. We acknowledge that outer beauty often has a part to play”—she puts a hand up as if to ward off the questions that TJ and Charlie are about to stand up with—“and certainly, there are jobs where that’s important. But for the large majority of things in life, you can’t just be a pretty face. You have to be intelligent, and hardworking, and detail-oriented. Not just with healthy childbearing hips,” she drawls, earning a few laughs from the audience. TJ crosses her arms. She should not feel this irrationally angry that Jenna’s twisting their arguments. That’s the whole game. But it’sJenna, and she’s a massive hypocrite, and it’s justsounfair that they get to argue that side.

Charlie touches her wrist, drawing her attention to his notepad, where he’s scribbled some notes to use in her rebuttal. Right. She’s the last person to speak in this debate. The last effort to sway the judges. Jenna’s already trying to do that, now talking earnestly about how beauty and fashion trends are fickle, while a good personality will always be appealing.

Both TJ and Charlie get up to ask questions during her speech, but she answers them strongly. Then she wraps up by summarizing the Side Proposition case.

TJ’s turn is announced by the Speaker.

She stands as if in a dream. Her hands are sweaty. The room seems unnaturally bright, and she swears she can hear the scuff of every boot, the clink of every spoon, everybreathin the room. Her heart thunders.

This. This is the part she loves, right here.

She inhales.

“Honourable judges, worthy opponents, and assembled guests,” she begins, “why are we so preoccupied with our favourite actors? They play different characters with different personalities. But it’s what they present on the outside that draws us to them, makes us watch every movie they do, love every character. We of Side Opposition believe we should not underestimate the importance of outer beauty. To prove this, I will wrap up our case with one more contention: in our society, you have to be beautiful to get ahead.”

She feels Charlie jerk in slight surprise; she’s going off-script. But she had a burst of inspiration, born from his own words earlier. They don’t have to be arguingin favour ofouter beauty at all. All they have to do is prove that it’s more important—for better or for worse.

And itisimportant. Damn it, this year taught her at least that.

“You can’t show up in pajamas and bedhead to a job interview. Once you’re hired, you still can’t show up like that if you want to be promoted. Same for debate. If I came here wearing a T-shirt and jeans, no one would take me seriously. On our own honourable judges’ scoresheets they’re using right now, there’s a score for etiquette, and that includes dress.”

As she speaks, she sees Jenna and Isaac whispering to each other out of the corner of her eye. They’re cooking something up. She refocuses.

“Your intelligence, kindness, and hard work don’t matter if you don’t look a certain way. Any person of colour applying fora job will tell you that! Far less people will even consider their internal qualities, because based on theirexternalqualities, they’ve already decided who you are. And let’s not forget trans and nonbinary folks,” she adds, remembering Lulu’s words, “who can actually face violence because of their gender, if people think they should look a certain way that they don’t. To assume who you are on the inside will be respected from the get-go is a privilege not everyone has. Would Side Proposition not agree?” she shoots to Isaac, because he’s stood up.

Isaac scoffs. “No, we would not. Besides, external qualities, and what makes them appealing, are often subjective. Whereas inner qualities like intelligence are more objective, and therefore hold more weight. Wouldn’tyouagree?”

Ah. The good ol’ objectivity argument. “No. Like my partner alluded to earlier, we can’t read minds, so internal qualities canonlybe measured by how they present on the outside. That can lead to plenty of misunderstandings.” TJ pauses, because although she’s spinning this out of thin air, it actually applies strangely well to her life. She thinks of Simran. “Say a person is having an internal feeling of guilt. How that manifests in your body language is what actually matters because that’s what is going to be interpreted by other people. And they might see it as anger, for example, instead of guilt.” TJ thinks of Charlie. “And another person’s anxiety might come across through their appearance as incompetence to someone else. Although that’s obviously not true.

“The point is, outer beautyas definedby Side Proposition is more important than inner beauty, because the outer beauty iswhat people are reacting to and judging you on, not what you’re actually feeling on the inside. Now, moving back to my speech.” She’s spent a while on Isaac’s question and has to take a second to remind herself what she was even talking about. “As I was saying, you have to be beautiful to get ahead. People who arenotconsidered beautiful are placed at a disadvantage.”

Jenna practically jumps up, and TJ waves her on, because she might as well get her two questions in now. “What is Side Opposition saying? Are they implying that not everyone is beautiful, in their own special way?”

Jenna’s voice is all indignant, the picture of the feel-good argument trying to paint TJ as shallow. The entire room seems even more silent now, waiting for TJ’s answer.

TJ could deny it. She’s expected to. She could say,Of course everyone is beautiful in their own way to someone, but...and make it an empty rebuttal. It would still get her points. Or...

She hesitates, hovering on the precipice of saying nothing, and saying somethingrisky.

Screw it.

“That’s exactly what I’m saying,” she says savagely. One of the judges sits back in her seat in surprise, but that’s not stopping TJ now.

Amy’s meaninglessEVERY BODY IS BEAUTIFULpamphlets float through her head. The unfairness of Yara beingnot good enoughto be a model. How it was so—sopick and choose.

TJ tosses her cards behind her. “People will try to make you feel good by saying everyone is beautiful, but what they really mean is written into all those empty beauty campaigns wherethey only ever show people who still fit the standard or are just a tiny bit deviant from it—just enough to still be acceptable. Maybe they’ve got body hair, but it’s only some peach fuzz and a bit of stubble under their arms. Maybe they’re plus-sized, but they still have the correct chest-to-waist-to-hips ratio. Maybe they’re going makeup-free, but their skin only has a few small imperfections to begin with. Then everybody pats themselves on the back because they’re so inclusive, wow, everyoneisbeautiful. That wasn’t so hard, was it? Let’s all go home.”

Rajan’s staring at her, and she’s fairly sure he’s forgotten to put up herTWO MINUTES LEFTwarning. She keeps going.

“But here’s the thing. You never see the girls with tufts of armpit hair and moustaches in the ads. Or the ones with fat rolls and cellulite. Or the ones with acne and psoriasis all over their bodies. Or the ones with all three, and more. That’s because society can’t find a way to frame them in the beauty standards that already exist. So they don’t show them at all. Because what they really mean is you can be hairy, but nottoohairy.You can be fat, but onlythisfat. You can have flawed skin, but only bythismuch. Et cetera. And we call that revolutionary, but we’re still comparing everyone to the exact same ideals, only looser.”

She pauses to catch her breath. It occurs to her that she hasn’t roasted the Turners in a while, so she gestures to their table. “And you know what? Not only is this resolution false, but it’s also poorly worded. I mean, whatisinner beauty even? Side Proposition defined it as ‘the inner qualities of a person’s character.’ But why do we have to call it beauty, then? That sounds more like the definition for ‘a personality.’ ” That earnsher a few snickers. Nice. “Listen. I don’t look at a muscular weight lifter and say they’ve got outer intelligence. I don’t feel the need to say everyone in the world is funny in their own special way. Why do we do that with the wordbeautiful? I’ll tell you why. It’s because we’ve been told the only way we can feel good about ourselves is if we are somehow beautiful.” Her voice catches. “We don’t talk about it, but we all know deep down that being beautiful is more important than anything else in the entire world.”

She’s so far from the point now but she doesn’t care, except Rajan has thrown up hisONE MINUTE LEFTsign. She scrambles to conclude. “In conclusion, the idea that inner beauty is more important than outer beauty is simply false. As my partner said earlier, to pretend otherwise is to live in a delusion. And to be clear,” she adds, in one last bid to win over the judges, “wewishSide Proposition were right that inner beauty is more important. But they’re not. And if we never acknowledge the truth, we’ll never get there. There has to be some self-awareness first. We have to learn to see our value without it being tied to whether society would deem us attractive. You can be ugly and a lovable person at the same time, I promise. I hope that will count for more one day in the eyes of society, but it can count in yours. Being beautiful is nice, but it’s not something to pin your self-worth on. And your worth is definitelynotdebatable.”