Page 45 of TJ Powar Has Something to Prove

TJ recoils—away from Charlie, and away from the thought. She can’t—can’t—go through that again.

She shakes her hair free of his hand and scoots to the end of the couch, breathless, heart still thundering, skin still burning. Finally, she looks up at him.

Charlie looks like a mess for possibly the first time in his life. His brown hair is disheveled and his tie loosened by her grip. His amber eyes are liquid dark. His hands, still half-outstretched from where she pulled away, flex as though he wants to touch her again. But he doesn’t. He just speaks, voice raspy.

“Nowit’s a theory.”

TWELVE

***

“So tell me,” Simran says. “At what point during this makeout session did you start regretting it?”

“I didn’t say I regret it.” TJ frowns. She’s not even done telling the story.

“No, but you only tell me stuff about your love life when you wish you hadn’t done it.”

TJ’s jaw drops. “I do not!”

Simran stops playing her harmonium to give her a look. TJ sighs and fiddles with her scarf, which is hiding a little souvenir Charlie left on her throat. It’s Sunday evening, and they’re back in Kelowna, at Simran’s house.

The whole thing is all kinds of embarrassing. After breaking off the kiss with Charlie, TJ had fled, muttering some excuse about needing to pack. She went straight back to her and Simran’s hotel room, texted Ameera that she wasn’t feeling well, and burrowed under the blankets. Nate messaged her later, wondering why she wasn’t at his little after-party, but she ignored it. She couldn’t risk seeing Charlie again. Then, the next morning, she kept her nose buried in magazines the whole bus ride home to avoid catching his eye.

At least they won’t cross paths anymore. In any case, TJ had been bursting to tell someone what happened. Not Piper, who’d just get excited and wouldn’t understand why TJ ran away. Ithad to be Simran. Someone who’d be able to give a calm and logical perspective on things and not judge her.

But apparently she’s just going to get roasted. “You’re just good at seeing angles I don’t consider,” TJ tries.

Simran gives her another look that makes it clear the attempt at flattery was obvious. “On what? It’s pretty obvious what happened. You wouldn’t even look at him at breakfast.”

“Maybe he just wasn’t looking at me.”

“Oh, he was. He kept trying to catch your eye.” Simran shakes her head. “Now I know why.”

A bit of guilt curls in TJ’s stomach, but she brushes it off. It’s done, it’s over. “Well, anyway,” she says, pushing away from the door she’d been leaning against, “we were getting pretty into it, and then I stopped and basically ran away.”

Simran plays a long sequence of keys on her harmonium. “Why? Was it a bad kiss?”

No. That’s the problem. She can’t stop thinking about it. She also can’t stop thinking about how it was a perfectly PG-13 kiss until she tried to crawlinto his lap. Cringing at the memory, TJ pushes aside Simran’s not-yet-unpacked suitcase to sit cross-legged on the carpet next to her. There’s not much free space elsewhere. “I just realized it couldn’t go anywhere. And I couldn’t stand being looked at like I was ugly and gross for being hairy.”

Simran stops playing again. “Did he look at you like you were ugly and gross?”

“No!”

“Then why—?”

“I didn’t want to wait around until he did, okay?” she snaps.

Simran’s unmoved. “So, what happened to you proving something by being hairy?”

“That’s just it.” TJ glares at the wall. “I couldn’t prove it. I can’t.”

She lost her debate against herself. Hairy TJ doesn’t really believe she’s beautiful enough to be desired. Because truthfully, she isn’t, and Liam already proved that. She just couldn’t bear to have it proven again with Charlie.

Simran’s quiet for a long second. “For what it’s worth, the right person wouldn’t reject you for being hairy.”

TJ snorts. “Do you believe that?” When Simran nods, TJ changes her question. “Do you really believe that,for yourself?” Simran lowers her eyes. “Exactly.”

“In a perfect world—”