Page 15 of TJ Powar Has Something to Prove

“Never,” he says at once. “Am I forgiven?”

Instead of answering, she leans forward to kiss him—briefly, because Coach barks “PDA!” after two seconds—and then sets the bouquet down carefully on the bench. Some of her teammates send her envious looks. Yeah, she’s pretty lucky.

Her phone buzzes. It’s Chandani. TJ gives her a sidelong glance; she’s literally on the other end of the bench. Sending her Instagram links without any explanation. TJ sighs and clicks on the first.

The meme pops up on her screen. Her and Simran’s faces again, except the caption is different.Before and After Puberty.

“What’s that?” Liam peeks over her shoulder. She doesn’t answer, just clicks the next link. Simran’s picture, with the captionwhen ya girl gets too comfortable in the relationship.

Liam sighs. “Just ignore it. Chandani, stop stirring shit up.” He presses the sleep button on the side of her phone, leaving TJ staring at her own furious reflection. “It’ll die down.”

She takes a deep breath. Yes, it will. She just has to get through it until then.

∗

Waiting for the meme to die down turns out to be a challenge. The next day only brings a fresh wave of posts, which TJ knows because she obsessively checks several social media feeds. Even though she’s always the one framed positively, every new iteration stings. She’s addicted to that sting. It’s like pinching herself to make another injury less painful in comparison.

Simran, however, seems unbothered every time TJ sees her, calmly walking through the halls as if the giggles and whispers aren’t happening. How can she be so okay? And why is TJ sonotokay?

The meme finally hits a peak on Thursday when someone manages to hack the school TV slideshow and insert it between the announcement for the Spring Break senior retreat and the latest school council fundraiser. TJ even hears that the meme has reached other schools in the city, including Whitewater. Charlie and Nate must be pissing themselves.

However, the slideshow hack makes the schooladministration take notice. There must’ve been an emergency lunchtime staff meeting, because for the rest of the day and Friday, the teachers give five-minute condescending lectures about bullying. The secondhand embarrassment is almost as bad as the meme itself.

It’s a relief when Friday afternoon finally rolls around, and Winter Break is upon them at last. Immediately after the last bell, TJ hightails it to Lulu’s beauty parlour for her appointment. She changes into the usual terry-cloth robe and waits in a spa room for Lulu, tea in hand, riffling through magazines. The lo-fi instrumental music playing in the background does nothing to soothe her.

The door opens. Lulu pokes her head in, her black-lipstick-stained mouth widening into a smile. “I’ll be with you in a few minutes, darling. Would you like more tea?”

“No, thanks, Lulu.”

“Well, lemon tarts are waiting for you when we’re done! Just remember that.” She winks and, in a blur of platinum-blonde curls, is gone again.

After the door swings shut, TJ’s knee begins to bounce.

Liam’s invited her over tomorrow because his parents aren’t home this weekend, and TJ’s are attending a work dinner, a rare coincidence on both their ends. Making it the perfect opportunity to get it on.

She runs through a mental checklist. She’s been on birth control for years for heavy periods. Liam has a stash of condoms. They’ve both got clean bills of health. With all that taken care of, there’s just one thing left to do: this Brazilian.

She still remembers her first. She was so nervous she called Piper while in the waiting room and told her to talk her down from leaving.

“What if I, like, pee all over the table?” she’d asked.

Piper had laughed. “Just go to the bathroom right before. Don’t worry.”

“What if I”—she lowered her voice despite being alone—“orgasm? Didn’t that happen to Tiffany Presser last year?” It had been the talk of the school; Tiffany had told the story in confidence to some questionable people, and it had gotten out. That was a trauma TJ wasn’t keen on.

“Hmm. Then I guess you like it rough.”

“Ha, ha. What if they think my butthole is weird? Or too hairy?”

“Buttholesareweird. It does hurt, but it’s not like there’s really much hair around there anyway.”

TJ had sort of deflated at that. She called Chandani next.

When she told her what Piper had said, Chandani had ugly laughed, which was exactly what TJ had needed to hear. “Piper’s so white!” she’d declared, and she sounded both amused and envious.

TJ’s phone buzzes with a text, pulling her from her memories.

It’s Ameera, who she hasn’t spoken much to since the last debate:You around? Mr. York got a professor to come to Whitewater today to talk about the science of the Provincials resolution with us. We’re invited, meeting at four.