Page 80 of TJ Powar Has Something to Prove

“Chandani,” Piper says sharply.

There’s a pause. TJ can’t look up from the floor. She feels like she’s choking.

When Chandani speaks again, her voice is unusually gentle. “I just don’t want to see you get hurt like that again. Think about it, okay?”

Pity? From Chandani? That’s it. “I’m going to class.” TJ’s voice sounds robotic.

She hands the phone back to Piper and brushes past them.

“TJ,” Piper says, “Are you—”

“Leave me alone!”

They go silent as TJ storms out.

The hallways are empty. At some point the last bell had rung, but TJ hadn’t noticed. She goes to her locker first. But as she opens it, she finds herself lingering on Chandani’s words.

I thought you were a debater. Shouldn’t you be looking at the facts?

Nausea roils her stomach. Well, here are the facts:

1. The last time she saw Charlie, he was furious with her.

2. He called her pathetic.

3. Said he was done with her.

4. Tossed away Amy’s pamphlet after seeing her photo on it.

5. Ignored her feeble apology text.

And yet here she is, counting thez’s in his username like a loser.

But of course. At Spring Break, she had finally ripped away the rose-coloured glasses he was seeing her through. And he could finally fully appreciate her ugliness—both outside and in. All this time, she’s been waiting for him to fail her impossible test, and he finally did. So why does it hurt so much?

You know why, a small voice whispers in her head.

Because in some twisted way, she’d started seeing Charlie as the judge in her personal debate. He certainly acted like one—listening without preconceived notions from the very beginning, open-minded when she ranted to him, logical when he evaluated her contentions. When he bought her arguments, she felt victorious. Validated. She was in the right, what she said was true, and her resolutionwouldstand.

Except now he’s clearly changed his vote. The judge she respected the most decided she was unworthy of respect.

It’s so humiliating that everyone can see that he liked that post. After theykissed. She has to hand it to him, it’s a masterful revenge.

Her vision blurs with tears. She tried everything. For months. God, how she wanted to prove her resolution. But she failed every time.

Maybe that’s because there’s no winning. Maybe she was just... wrong.

Mrs. Scott had once told the debate club that when tournament organizers brainstormed possible resolutions, they first made sure both sides had strong potential arguments. If it seemed too unethical or one-sided, they tossed it out.Not everything can be argued, she’d said.Not everythingshouldbe.

TJ looks into the mirror on her locker door. She stares at her almost-unibrow, her moustache, deep sideburns, and hairy chin, and suddenly hates them more than she’s ever hated anything in her life. She wants to scrub it all off. She wants it gone and she wants a fresh, clean slate.

She wants to forget this all ever happened.

TWENTY-TWO

***

Her dad is the only one home when she arrives, not half an hour after she left. She tells him she has a bad stomachache. He doesn’t question it, just spends the next several hours bringing mugs of saunf water to her bedroom.