Page 7 of Tis the Season for Tentacles (Tinsel and Tentacles 2.0)

Chapter Seven

“Tentacles and Torment: Body Swapped” by FeliXFiles

Fandom: “The Tentacular Tales of Captain Starblade” by KirklovesSpock4eva

Tags: Lord Vardox, Captain Starblade, body swap, tentacles, 18+

Part 4.5 of Tentacles and Torment

Starblade didn’t know what the hell he was doing, but his—or rather, Vardox’s—tentacles sure did.

The unruly appendages extended toward Starblade’s naked body on the bed, as if eager to touch his flesh once more.

Starblade was still experiencing a disorienting kind of vertigo as his mind tried to adjust to the fact that he and Vardox had somehow swapped bodies.

“Come now, darling. A lovely orgasm or five will help you relieve that pent-up stress,” Vardox drawled at him, still fingering himself in preparation for sex.

Starblade gulped, feeling his cock harden beneath his cloak.

That did make him wonder. Was Vardox experiencing the same kind of need?

The notion made Starblade feel faint. His real body wouldn’t be able to conceal how much it yearned for Vardox and the pleasures that only he could give Starblade.

“Fuck,” he whispered.

Vardox licked his lips and purred. “That’s the idea, my sweet captain.”

FELIX

I don’t know what Luna is scheming, but she clearly has something planned because she and the others beat a hasty retreat, leaving me and Najar alone in the second carriage.

Yeah, this won’t be awkward at all…

I was shocked when Najar helped me climb into the contraption. It resembles a cross between an enormous snow sled and a horse-drawn carriage, although this one is pulled by a most unusual creature I can only assume is indigenous to the planet.

Once we start moving, I clear my throat to break the awkward silence and dart a quick glance at my no doubt unwilling companion.

“Sorry you got stuck with me,” I say with a wince. “Not sure what Luna was trying with that move. I had nothing to do with it.”

Najar shifts uncomfortably. “Uh… that…”

Just looking at him, I have to bite my lip so I don’t laugh. These snowsuits—or thermal suits —as they call them, are utterly ridiculous. They keep us plenty warm, which is necessary on this planet. However, the normally imposing Najar looks so goofy in his.

Honestly? It’s kind of cute and helps me relax a little.

“The thing is—” he starts to say.

I interrupt him. “So what kind of animal is pulling this contraption?” I keep my tone bright in an attempt to evade whatever uncomfortable conversational direction Najar was heading in.

He blinks for several moments. “Oh. It is a Frosthorned Snowdeer. Native to this world, they are capable of withstanding the harsh climate.”

I study the majestic creature from my vantage point in the carriage. It reminds me a little of a caribou in terms of its coffee-and-cream color coat, only larger and hairier—well, and possessing six legs. The animal is easily the size of a moose with an enormous, deadly looking horn in the center of its forehead.

Not exactly the unicorn of fairy tales, that’s for certain.

The thick, shaggy pelt covering its hide is no doubt why it survives in these frosty temperatures.

As we glide through the snow, I peer out at the winter landscape around us. I can’t help but marvel at this strange and fascinating world. As far as I can determine, rather than being a powdery, soft accumulation, the snow on the ground appears to be comprised of thicker, crystalline flakes that glitter in the sunlight in an almost blinding fashion. The deep layer of white all around us looks pristine and nearly untouched.

As we pass through a canopy of trees that resemble Douglas firs, only much larger and tinted an unusual blue color, I gasp at the appearance of an enormous glacier in the distance.

Najar follows my gaze. “From what I understand, there are quite a number of ice caves and tunnels within the glaciers on this world. Some of them are safe for exploration.” He shifts in his seat. “That is, if you’d like to see them.”

I shiver and shake my head. “That certainly sounds amazing, but I tried spelunking once and that was more than enough for me. I discovered caves tend to make me claustrophobic.”

“I see,” Najar says before lapsing into silence.

Awwwkkkkwwwwaaarrrddd.

I’m adult enough to admit that part of this is my fault. I’ve been the one avoiding Najar on the ship.

Did he deserve it? Yes.

Was it a bit childish on my part? Probably.

I sigh. No doubt Luna arranged this situation so that we could spend some time together and get over our bullshit.

I take a fortifying breath and decide to act like an adult who can communicate with others. “Listen, I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you lately.”

Najar’s eyes widen. “There is no need for you to apologize. I am the one who should be apologizing to you.”

“You already did. I just… didn’t want to see you after all that went down, so I was being an idiot and avoiding you.”

“Luna told me that you were probably… afraid of me.” Najar’s voice trembles. “I’m sorry if I frightened you. The idea of it makes me deeply ashamed.”

His tentacles droop in his thermal suit and the miserable expression on his face looks full of remorse. Part of me wants to comfort him, but I shut that down fast. No way am I making a fool of myself yet again.

“The prospect of having my memories altered against my will is terrifying. It would be for just about anyone. But I also understand why you thought that was the most logical course of action.”

Hope blossoms in his colorful eyes. “You understand?”

I steel my resolve. “I do. However, that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt my feelings or scare me.”

His face falls.

“Sometimes, in life, the logical course of action isn’t the best one, let alone the most humane. As a veterinarian, I’ve learned that we can’t let reason allow us to lose sight of critical empathy.”

Najar studies his lap. “I… have never been… very good with…”

“What?”

He looks up at me, and my heart clenches.

“On my world, if you are born with the warrior’s mark”—Najar points to his cheek—“you are trained as a warrior. We are taught to protect and defend our world, with extreme force when needed.” He looks away. “When dealing with a potential threat, warriors are conditioned from childhood to set aside emotions and prioritize logic and reasoning.”

My heart stutters. “From childhood?”

Najar nods. “We start training from an early age. My parents were both warriors, but they died in battle when I was quite young.”

Orphaned and forced to become a child soldier? That’s a real stab to the heart.

“As a result, when you first joined us, I was simply operating on ingrained instinct. I hope we can move beyond this and get along for the next few weeks.”

My traitorous heart gives a hopeful thump. “Are you really okay with me tagging along with you guys and promising to take this secret to my grave?”

His golden cheeks flush. “That’s right.”

Najar seems like he’s going to say something more but then the driver interrupts us. He resembles the mythical Yeti creature of legend on Earth but he seems like a super friendly guy.

His words come out in a garbled tongue that makes no sense to me at first but then the aural translator earpiece Khephren gave me when we landed interprets what was said and speaks in a computerized voice, “We’re almost there. That’s Glaciala Village up ahead.” He points a thick, hairy arm toward what appears to be a small town in the distance, one that keeps getting closer as our carriage moves along.

I lower my voice and whisper. “This device Khephren gave me is fabulous.” I point to my ear for emphasis.

“The device is quite effective,” Najar agrees. “However, for long-term use, a neuro-linguistic adapter grafted in the brain is much better. It enables the recipient to be fluent in most languages, both in terms of comprehension and speaking.” His eyes widen and he hastens to assure me, saying, “Don’t worry. We would never perform such an invasive procedure on a guest from another world. The earpiece is a good alternative for short-term use.”

Having anyone mess around inside my head does not sound remotely appealing, even if it could give me the ability to understand and speak other languages. These aliens are way too quick to want to tinker with folks’ brains, if you ask me.

I give him a nervous smile. “Yeah, I’ll stick with the earpiece, thanks.”

As we glide over the shimmering white snow, I try to take in everything I’m seeing.

Never in my life did I imagine I would get to travel the universe and visit other planets like this. I want to make the most of this entire experience, and that means letting bygones be bygones with Najar.

Luna will get some big thanks from me later for forcing us together to confront our crap and move past it like adults.

I made the mistake of thinking there was a whisper of attraction between me and Najar when we met, but it’s not the first time I’ve misread a situation. No doubt I was seeing what I wanted to see. I mean, who wouldn’t want a hunky alien with a hot bod and eight tempting tentacles to show some interest in them?

Well, let’s just say I’m confident every fan of The Tentacular Tales of Captain Starblade would be right at the front of the line to get in on that action—me included.

Najar’s still an annoyingly handsome man, and my libido has not lost an iota of its initial interest in him. But I’m not going to embarrass myself with any more humiliating overtures of interest. From here on out, I’ll just focus on us being platonic acquaintances traveling together.

Maybe, if I’m lucky, we might even make it to tentative friends by the end of my journey with the crew of the Sleigh Belle.

When we finally arrive at our destination, I eagerly clamor out of the carriage, not waiting for anyone to assist me. No more Najar hand-holding temptation for me.

I hurry over to thank the driver, pressing the button on the earpiece and holding it down when I get closer to him, just like Khephren showed me. “Hi, there. I didn’t get to introduce myself properly earlier. I’m Felix Taylor and I’m from Earth.”

The earpiece relays a computerized voice in the driver’s language, and his eyes flash with understanding. He says something and the device translates, “Nice to meet you, Felix of Earth. I’m Mecknos Garpabalous.”

I extend a free hand and hold down the earpiece button again. “On my world, we often shake hands as a form of greeting. Would that be welcome?”

At a good seven feet tall, Mecknos towers over me, but when the translation comes through, he grins around the shaggy white hair that covers most of his face and would put Santa Claus to shame.

He reaches out an enormous, furry paw of a hand with three large fingers, and we shake.

“Thank you for the ride, Mecknos. If it wouldn’t be too much trouble, could you introduce me to your beautiful companion?” I say, gesturing toward the Frosthorned Snowdeer.

His eyes widen and his smile grows even larger, revealing some scary-looking fangs.

My earpiece translates his next words. “Of course! Let me introduced you to my pride and joy, Helgula. She is the best beast in my herd.” He leads me over to the amazing creature, and I marvel at her heavily muscled legs and powerful body. I’ve spent years around exotic animals, but it never gets old. And right now, I feel like I’m back to the very start of my rotation days, full of wonder and awe.

“May I pet her?” I ask.

Mecknos nods his head. “She loves a good chin scratch.”

I remove my glove and hold out my hand, palm down and fingers slightly apart so that she can sniff me.

Studying me with curious, dark eyes, Helgula hovers her head near my hand, her large nostrils inhaling my scent, and then huffs out warm breath on my tender skin. It tickles and I chuckle.

Seemingly deemed acceptable, I carefully begin to rub under her chin. She makes a nickering sound of contentment.

“You’re a beautiful, strong girl, aren’t you?” I coo at her, using my other hand to stroke her neck. “Thank you for ferrying us to our destination.”

She leans her head closer and nudges my ear, making me laugh out loud when she nearly knocks me down.

I turn to Mecknos. “She’s amazing. Thank you.”

He puffs out his big chest in obvious pride. “You’re welcome. Enjoy the festival.”

We say our goodbyes, and a quiet Najar follows me as we begin to walk toward our friends, who are already waiting for us across from the town’s Welcome Center.

Luna comes bouncing over to us—which I’m not quite sure how she manages in her bulky thermal suit, but somehow she does. “How did it go? What did you think? Wasn’t that ride into town amazing?”

I grin at her. “It really was.” I arch an eyebrow. “And Najar and I cleared the air. We appreciate your meddling.”

Najar grunts.

Luna throws her hands in the air in a solo version of the wave. “Thank the freaking galactic gods! It’s about time you two quit acting like idiotic men.”

“Touché,” I say, then rub at my chilled nose. “Enough gabbing though. I don’t know about all of you, but I think I need a hot beverage.”

Her eyes sparkle merrily. “I like how you think, Felix! Follow me. They have a fun holiday market up ahead, and there are loads of vendors selling food and beverages. Let’s all get something to warm up.”

We follow as she leads the way.

Khephren may be the captain of the ship in name, but I’m beginning to suspect Luna is the real shadow captain. Oddly enough, she reminds me a bit of my sister. They’re both feisty and independent, full of a take-no-shit type of confidence that I truly admire.

I can’t wait to tell Gemma all about this planet. She’s going to be so jealous. My sister has always wanted to travel the world but hasn’t had the time or the money to make it happen. An alien planet would be just as cool to her, I have no doubt.

As we stroll down the main street, I try to take it all in. The town itself is oddly reminiscent of a quaint European village decked out for the holidays, although the one celebrated here is not Christmas. Instead, the decorations adorning buildings appear to celebrate snow and ice.

But I suppose that makes sense on a world that only has one season—perpetual winter.

The residents here are distinctly alien—no pun intended—to me. I see a number of beings who share the same appearance as our sled-carriage driver, but there are others as well. Most of them appear to be from species that have a lot of natural hair or fur covering their bodies, which also makes complete sense for the environment of the planet.

In fact, we are clearly the oddballs here in our thermal suits, but Sasha and I, the lone humans, stand out even more. We get quite a few stares, which isn’t surprising.

I must admit, I’m grateful to have Sasha around. He’s been helping me adjust to life aboard the Sleigh Belle quite a bit. The tales of his travels have been astonishing to hear, but I find myself most envious of his relationship with Khephren. Their bond is full of affection and respect for one another and is beautiful to see. It reminds me a bit of my grandparents, whose relationship was unshakeable. Together, they could weather any storm and conquer any challenge that came their way. I’ve dreamed of finding that kind of connection with someone.

But it hasn’t happened yet, and I’m not sure if it ever will.

Shaking off my moodier thoughts, I follow my companions to the town square, where we find a dizzying array of booths lining the square. Vendors are selling everything from food to clothing, and the scene is lively with the smiling and laughing townsfolk filling the square.

“So aliens have Christmas markets too,” I murmur to myself.

I’m startled when I realize Najar has stealthily moved to my side. “Many extraterrestrial species are not all that radically different from humans. Most sentient beings value community, culture, and traditions. Or so I have found.”

I nod thoughtfully. “I’m sure a fair number of human anthropologists would sell their souls for an opportunity to study extraterrestrial peoples and their ways of life.”

He gives me a wry smile. “Although I doubt most species would welcome such observation. Humans tend to consider themselves the superior beings in the universe. They do not realize they are very young and far less advanced than other beings out here.”

“That’s very true. But we do have a lot of stories that imagine what other folks in the universe might be like. The sheer number of sci-fi movies and TV programs dealing with that subject is astonishing. Although, what I’ve seen so far suggests Star Trek and its various spin-offs were a lot closer to the truth than most other franchises.”

Najar lowers his voice. “For the love of Thekmis, please do not say anything like that to Sasha. Otherwise, he’ll talk your ear off about human movies.”

I laugh. “Duly noted.”

Luna leads us to a booth selling some kind of hot spiced cider that tastes like a cross between apple and pear flavors. It’s sweet and a little bit tart, with a nice tang from the spices. While we take a little break, we savor the warm beverage and I’m relieved when I feel my nose and cheeks warm up.

After we resume our wandering, I spot something that immediately has me interested.

“Ooh! Can we go over there?” I ask everyone, pointing to my goal.

Sasha grins and reaches over to fist-bump me. “Right on, man! I used to do that all the time back in Chicago when I was a kid.”

“What exactly are they doing over there with those strange objects on their feet?” Najar asks.

I grin at him. “Ice skating.”