Page 6 of Tis the Season for Tentacles (Tinsel and Tentacles 2.0)

Chapter Six

Chronicles of Chaos: An Informal Record of Life Aboard the Sleigh Belle

Stardate: 78389.0

Origin: Euphorian Star System

Destination: Glacius Major

I’m forced to admit that I’ve made a bit of a monumental fuckup.

In my defense, I had our crew’s best interests at heart. My suggestion that we return the human we panic-abducted back to Earth and wipe his brief memories of us was the smartest course of action. I still stand by that assessment.

However, in retrospect, I should have known that my crewmates were never going to agree to that plan. So vocalizing it in front of everyone, including Felix, just made me the biggest asshole on the ship.

At present, things are beyond awkward, and Felix is avoiding me.

I understand why. I get it. But it bothers me more than I would wish.

Now I’m restless and frustrated—and stuck on this ship with a human who probably loathes me for the next few weeks.

Once again, fuck… my… life.

—Najar Mezdel, First Lieutenant and Voice of Reason on the Sleigh Belle

NAJAR

L una was right. I fucked up.

Felix is avoiding me.

And it fucking sucks, as Sasha would say.

I do understand why he’s acting this way toward me. But I don’t like it.

He’s not overtly rude or even antagonistic. Perhaps if he were, I wouldn’t feel so wretched.

Instead, whenever he sees me, he gets this awful wounded look in his eyes and does everything in his power to flee whenever we happen to run into each other. Nothing has ever made me feel so shitty.

It’s already been a couple of days since my ill-conceived suggestion was overruled and we agreed to trust Felix and take him with us on our holiday tour of several planets. He seems to be having a good time with the others, but I only catch glimpses of him from afar.

If the last few days are any indicator, the next couple of weeks are going to be rough.

Sighing, I sit down at our communal table with my breakfast and a large mug of steaming kavga. There’s no one to blame but myself.

But that doesn’t make me feel any better.

I’m sipping my morning brew when a sleepy-eyed Felix, with tousled hair and clad in the too-big pajamas I left him, appears in the doorway of the ship’s canteen.

He freezes in place, staring at me wide-eyed.

I force an awkward smile. “Good morning.”

He whirls around and disappears. My shoulders slump. Even making simple pleasantries seems a no-go.

Seconds later, Luna peeks her head into the room, and upon seeing me, shakes it. Her green pigtails bob disappointedly. “Should have known I’d find your sorry ass in here,” she says as she strolls into the room, heading straight for the food generator, with Rambo gliding along at her side.

I scowl. “Excuse me.”

She arches an eyebrow at me. “Felix came hightailing it down the hallway like he was being chased by a pack of Ingarian wild wolves. I invited him to join me for breakfast, but he said he was going to eat in his room instead.” She looks me up and down knowingly. “Now I understand why.”

I set down my kavga and cross my arms over my chest, settling my face into its sternest expression. “I don’t have any control over what Felix does or doesn’t want to do.”

Rambo chooses that moment to comment. “I wish I knew how to quit you.”

Glaring at the droid only makes him beep at me cheerfully.

Ignoring my attempts to look forbidding, Luna joins me at the table with her own mug of kavga and toast with Dravethian nut butter. “Let’s be real, Naj. You’ve made things super awkward on the ship. Now Felix is afraid of you.”

Her words are like unexpected daggers to my heart.

I know he doesn’t like me. Not anymore. But… afraid?

Before I can say anything, Luna continues, “I understand why you pushed for returning him and erasing his memories, even after the rest of us had agreed to trust Felix’s word. But don’t you think it might have been better to wait to talk to us when he wasn’t in the room?”

One of my tentacles rubs my throbbing temple. I seem to get a headache every time I see Felix run away from me.

“We’re already in hot water with the Alliance after the whole Sasha debacle. A second Earthling abduction isn’t going to win us any friends and allies with them.”

She reaches over and takes hold of my hand, squeezing it. “I agree but what happened really was our fault. We never should have suggested poor Felix pay the price for our mistake simply because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

I narrow my eyes at her. “None of this would have happened in the first place if you all had just listened to me when I said visiting Earth again was a bad idea.”

And now we’ll still have to come back again to return Felix in a few weeks. A third time feels even riskier.

She sips her coffee and nods. “True. It wasn’t our most rational hour.” She glances around happily. “Although the ship looks festive and fantastic.”

I scowl again and she nibbles at her toast without any repentance.

“You need to find a way to make up with Felix,” she declares after swallowing a mouthful of food. “We’re going to be together for a while, and it’ll be super uncomfortable and irritating if you guys do this the whole time. No harshing on our Christmas spirit, man.”

I look away. “It’s only a couple of weeks, then we’ll send him back and won’t have anything else to do with him. Surely, you can tolerate a few weeks of awkwardness.”

Rambo beeps three times. “I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley.”

It’s Luna’s turn to cross her arms and level me with a challenging stare. “Najar Mezdel, you’re acting like a bratty little kid right now. Why can’t you just admit that you were wrong and try to mend fences with Felix?”

I bang a tentacle hard on the table, and I let a sliver of my irritability show. “I did apologize to him! I even swore the warrior’s oath, but he is avoiding me like I’m the plague—or something worse.”

Luna strokes her chin thoughtfully. “You know, humans have the expression ‘actions speak louder than words,’ and I think it’s an apt one, particularly in this case.”

My brows draw together. “What do you mean?”

She rolls her eyes at me like I’m a dumbass. “I’m saying that maybe the apology was good but it wasn’t enough. You have to put yourself in Felix’s shoes. He doesn’t know us or our ways. He was abducted against his will. Until recently, he’d never met an extraterrestrial being before, let alone traveled off his home planet. All of this has got to be really overwhelming, but he’s handling it incredibly well, all things considered.” She gives me a sad look. “Najar, you’ve been a great friend to me for decades, so don’t take this the wrong way. Dude, to those who don’t know you well? You can come off as a little… intimidating. I think Felix is still worried you might try to forcibly erase his memories.”

The very idea that Felix might think I would forcibly do something without his consent makes me nauseous.

“What can I do to get him to talk to me again?”

She lets go of me and cradles her mug in her hands. “Hmm. Let me think…”

I know Luna well and I can tell she’s trying to mess with me. “Help!”

She smirks. “Fine. You need to woo him.”

I choke on air. “W-what?”

She bats her eyelashes at me innocently. “Woo him with friendship. Make friendly overtures.”

“How? He runs away the instant he sees me.”

“That is a challenge,” she admits. “But I’ll help you out. We’re going to be arriving on Glacius Major soon. I’ll find a way to leave you two on your lonesome when we split up to explore.”

I heave a sigh of relief. “Thanks.”

“I got you, bro.” Her smile turns mischievous. “Besides, it’s in my own selfish best interest to help smooth things over with you and Felix. I’m trying to get in his sister’s good books—among other things.”

“Are you being serious right now?”

“Totally. We’ve been messaging each other daily.” Luna twirls a pigtail around a tentacle. “Gemma is amazing and so wonderfully luscious.”

Indeed, while Felix possesses a lean, tall physique, his sister appeared to have a fuller figure when we saw her on the viewscreen.

“What my tentacles could do to her…” Luna muses, licking her lips.

“You can toss that idea right out of your head. We’re returning Felix, not picking up more humans—and most certainly not his poor sister.”

“We’ll see.”

I want to tear my hair out. “Listen, this is a bad idea?—”

One of her tentacles whips out and covers my mouth. “Hush. Yes, I know you aren’t in touch with your inner romantic. And let’s be honest, if there is one in there, he’s seriously crusty and dusty.” She eyes me dubiously.

I growl.

“In any case, let the rest of us romantics dream. Besides, Gemma and I are just getting to know each other for now. There’s no harm in that.”

I remove her tentacle from its position over my mouth and groan. “You chose this life. This was your decision,” I mutter to myself as a reminder.

Luna beams at me. “That’s right, Naj. Learn to live a little. It’s the month of our Christmas festivities, and we want to have a good time. No downers allowed.”

The com suddenly crackles to life and Kheph’s voice comes through, all bright and cheerful as usual. “Good news, friends! We have entered orbit around Glacius Major and are just waiting to be cleared for landing. Please find a seat and strap in.”

Luna and I make our way to the bridge where we find Kheph, Sasha, and Felix.

My gaze tracks Felix as he takes a seat next to Sasha. He looks nervous but excited to visit his first planet other than Earth.

“I know it’s a bit late to be asking,” Felix says, suddenly, his eyes trained on Kheph and Luna, “but is this planet safe for me as a human? I mean, do I need a space suit or anything?”

I clear my throat. “The planet’s gravity is similar to that of Earth’s, and its atmosphere produces sufficient oxygen to not require any breathing aid.”

The way Felix eyes me is suspicious before he looks to the others for confirmation.

Ouch.

“Don’t worry,” Sasha tells Felix. “Kheph wouldn’t take us anywhere that wasn’t safe for humans. My husband is adorably protective of me.”

Khephren is focused on his control station, but two of his tentacles move above the top of his seat back and form the shape of a heart.

“Love you too, Tentacle Boy,” Sasha calls out.

I take my seat as we enter the planet’s atmosphere and begin our descent. Glacius Major is a peaceful planet, so we won’t have to worry about much in the way of danger. We’ll be exploring parts of their winter market, which makes it a valuable opportunity for me to spend time with Felix and repair some of the hurt I caused.

Once we land, Khephren and Luna begin handing out the necessary winter gear we’ll need to go outside.

“This reminds me of the snowsuit that poor kid has to wear in A Christmas Story ,” Felix says as he starts climbing into the bulky garment he’s been given.

Sasha snickers. “I wouldn’t be surprised if that was part of the inspiration to this design.”

“Quit bitching. These will keep us nice and cozy. And look.” Luna flaps her tentacles, now covered in material from the suit, around behind her. “Rambo helped me design a special version to keep our tentacles mobile but warm too.”

Rambo gives a few merry beeps. “Show me the money.”

Felix lets out a startled laugh and smiles at Rambo.

As I stare at Felix, an odd warmth fills my chest. He’s quite handsome when he’s like this.

I want to be able to make him laugh and smile too.

Eventually, once we’re all encased in our thermal suits from head to toe and have durable boots on our feet, we troop down the gangway and out into the winter wonderland known as Glacius Major.

All around us are vast fields of shimmering snow, and tall trees coated in white dot the landscape. We’re a good distance from the nearest town as we had to land farther away in keeping with visitor regulations. However, we are expected, and I’m relieved to find two snow carriages awaiting us.

Luna immediately rushes forward, squeezing herself between Sasha and Khephren as she locks arms with both of them. “We’ll take the first carriage! You two take the second.”

“W-what?” Felix says, but Luna ignores him and shoves our friends into the first carriage, then waves her thermal suit-clad tentacles at us and hops in behind them.

I love Luna, but I wouldn’t necessarily call her smooth.

Taking a steadying breath, I turn to Felix with the warmest smile I can muster. “Shall we?”

He looks adorably flustered. The thermal suits we’re wearing are quite ridiculous, but I can’t seem to look away from him.

“Oh… uh… right.”

The Glacian driver steps forward and is about to offer Felix a hand into the carriage, but I beat him to it.

Startled, he takes my proffered hand and climbs into the carriage. I quickly follow, my hearts racing.

Even through the thick fabric of our gloves, I could feel the warmth of his touch, and it has left me tingly all over.

When the carriage coachman takes off, I focus on calming my racing thoughts as I strategize how I can extend the olive branch of friendship to Felix.