Page 5 of Tis the Season for Tentacles (Tinsel and Tentacles 2.0)

Chapter Five

“Tentacles and Torment: Body Swapped” by FeliXFiles

Fandom: “The Tentacular Tales of Captain Starblade” by KirklovesSpock4eva

Tags: Lord Vardox, Captain Starblade, body swap, tentacles, 18+

Part 4 of Tentacles and Torment

Lord Vardox was in the driver’s seat in Starblade’s body and merrily fondling himself in front of Starblade.

Who was trapped in Vardox’s body.

Damn and blast it!

“Quit that! We need to find a way to switch back,” Starblade said carefully around the fangs filling his mouth.

Ignoring him, Vardox stepped closer and grabbed hold of one of Starblade’s… tentacles.

This was all too damned surreal.

Grasping the squirming appendage, Vardox stroked the end of it until a clear lubricating substance glistened at the tip. Grinning in triumph, Vardox coated several fingers and then sauntered over to the bed where he got on his hands and knees—and began fingering his, or rather Starblade’s, ass.

“Oooh! Now this is fun,” he purred. “Normally I can’t do this to you because of my claws. I suppose humans have one rather handy—pun intended—physical advantage when it comes to this.”

Starblade gaped as he watched the lewd performance with a mixture of disbelief and mounting desire. Although his consciousness resided in Vardox’s body at the moment, apparently Vardox’s physical attraction to him was hardwired to react to such a display of Starblade’s body.

As he felt his—or rather, Vardox’s—cock harden, he gulped.

“Ahhh!” Vardox cried with delight. “Your body is just as sensitive as I always suspected. How thrilling.” He thrust three fingers into his hole and gave Starblade a challenging stare. “Are you going to fuck me sometime this century, darling?”

FELIX

I can tell that Najar isn’t as enthusiastic about my proposed plan of maintaining silence regarding the existence of extraterrestrials as the others. Not that I can really blame him.

In almost any other circumstance, there’s no way I’d keep my mouth shut about something as life altering as this. But when it comes to preserving my and my sister’s memories, I’m completely prepared to take this secret to my grave.

Which will hopefully be many, many years from now.

I will, however, take from this experience plenty of new inspiration for my fan fiction endeavors. All things considered, I believe that’s a more than fair trade-off.

After we finish our breakfast, I follow Najar and the others back to the bridge, where Khephren gets to work at his terminal.

“This will be a piece of cake.” The pink alien chortles, his eyes sparkling as his tentacles fly across the controls so fast they’re a blur.

I can’t lie. It’s rather hypnotizing to watch not only his hands but all eight of his additional appendages do their thing. Having extra pseudo-hands certainly comes with advantages.

My eyes wander to Najar again and I find my gaze drawn to his thick, golden tentacles. I wonder what he can do with his extra appendages…

Najar seems to notice me perving on him and arches a curious eyebrow.

Why am I acting like a horny teenage idiot around this sexy-as-sin alien?

Because he’s even hotter than Lord Vardox, dammit.

I guiltily turn my attention back to Khephren and try to keep my cool. “Khephren’s… skills are rather impressive. He’s so fast I can’t even keep up with his movements.”

Najar nods in understanding and smiles softly. “We’re not all like Kheph. Even among our people, he’s special.”

“Yep. Kheph’s a programming genius,” Luna agrees. “Especially when it comes to anything to do with computers and information systems of any kind.” She flicks one of her long green pigtails over her shoulder. “I’m a genius also, at engineering. I’ll have to let you see me work my magic while you’re here.”

Najar rolls his eyes fondly and quirks his lips at me. “My crewmates are more talented than they are modest.”

I chuckle. His dry sense of humor suits him, and I like it. He clearly cares for his friends, which is a testament to his character in my book.

I grin. “I can see that.”

His answering smile is wry and we share a private moment of total understanding.

Khephren lets out a shout of triumph. “Aha! I have managed to tap into the Wi-Fi system in your sister’s home. Shall we try calling her?”

I blanch. “You were able to do that so easily and so fast. You don’t have aspirations toward invasion, right?”

He gives me an impish grin and waggles his tentacles in the air. “I have a gift. But no, I am not the conquering warrior type. Besides, I love Hallmark movies too much to ever risk losing them.”

“Uh… Hallmark movies?” I ask Najar.

He shakes his head. “Don’t even get him and Luna started on one of their many Earth-related obsessions, please.”

Luna scoffs. “Ignore Najar. He gets kind of grumpy on a regular basis. I’m starting to think it’s hormonal.”

Najar crosses his arms and glares.

Rambo does a little looping dance around the two of them and beeps three times. “How many of them hormones you takin’, honey?”

Seemingly unfazed by his friends’ bickering, Khephren bounces in his seat. “Let’s call your sister, Felix!”

Najar clears his throat loudly and stands at attention. “I just want it stated for the record that I think this is a less than intelligent course of action. We should really err on the side of caution and return Felix to Earth immediately and… erase his memory of the short time he spent with us. It’s the safest option for us all.”

My heart stutters at his words and it’s like that time I was a kid and I fell backwards off a swing, knocking the breath right out of me. I couldn’t make my lungs work for what felt like a scary eternity.

Najar’s words are even more crushing.

What I’m feeling must show on my face because he looks away from me guiltily.

Luna pats me on the shoulder. “Don’t mind him. He’s a bit of a stick in the mud when it comes to keeping us, and this ship, safe.”

The rational side of my brain gets that. It does.

But a small part of me thought I’d had a spark of connection with Najar, one that was mutual. Once again, I misread things. Animals have always been much easier for me to understand than people. I guess that includes hot alien men who aren’t into me.

I understand why he doesn’t immediately trust me, and if our roles were reversed, I’d probably feel much the same way. But the rejection stings all the same.

Unaware of my inner thoughts, Luna continues. “Naj is the only one among us who takes things super seriously. He’s our main security force for the ship, so I suppose he has to. It’s nothing personal against you, Felix. Honest.”

I force an awkward smile and carefully move to put some distance between me and Najar. It’s embarrassing, but I’ve basically been openly lusting after him since I arrived on the ship. I’ve probably given him the ick, as one of my young vet techs would say.

“Sorry, I don’t want to cause problems. Maybe Najar’s right and you should just take me back.” A nervous laugh precedes my next words. “Not gonna lie, I’m utterly terrified about the idea of having my mind messed with, but if you can’t trust me, then I don’t know what else we can do.” My throat is strangely dry and my heart’s racing. “And I don’t want to put my sister in danger, so please leave her out of this.”

I steadfastly ignore Najar’s gaze even though I can feel it boring holes into me.

“Dude, you’re kind of being a jerk to poor Felix,” Sasha says with a frown.

Khephren turns his chair around to face Najar and then crosses his arms, giving him a stern glare. “I love you, Naj, but you’re too quick to distrust. There are plenty of good, honest beings in the universe, and we need to give them a chance. If you are immediately suspicious of anyone new that you meet, you’re going to live a very lonely and sad existence.” His bottom lip starts to tremble and his eyes pool with tears, ruining the severe approach I think he was going for. “I don’t want that for you, Naj. You’re my BFF, as the humans say, and a stand-up guy.”

“Even if you have a stick up your ass,” Luna adds brightly.

Rambo twirls and beeps loudly. “How many assholes do we have on this ship, anyway?”

Sasha snorts. “I love Rambo so much.”

Khephren holds his hands in a pleading gesture aimed at his best friend. “Please stop scaring our new friend. Just give Felix and his sister a chance.”

Najar rubs a golden tentacle over his face and lets out a loud sigh of defeat. “Fine, we’ll do it your way. But if things go south, you’re the one who has to take responsibility and clean up your mess.”

Ouch. Way to welcome a human you freaking abducted, by the way!

Khephren bounds to his feet and embraces Najar in a hug involving both arms and four tentacles. Najar awkwardly hugs him back with one arm that isn’t fully pinned in his friend’s embrace.

I experience a twinge of jealousy that I drop-kick in the ass. Najar’s outburst made his position clear. He doesn’t want me here and is only humoring his friends because he was outvoted. So, no matter how hot he is, I need to steer clear of him as much as possible while I’m on this ship and instead focus on solidifying my friendship with Luna, Sasha, and Khephren. They’re going to be key in keeping my mind from being messed with.

Who needs a hunky golden god of a man with eight glorious tentacles anyway? Not me. I’ve got my fan fictional Lord Vardox fantasies to keep me warm at night.

I shift from foot to foot. “I appreciate your kindness, Khephren, Luna, and Sasha. But I don’t want to create discord among friends. Najar doesn’t want me here, so I think I’d like to go home now.” I swallow thickly. “I’ll keep quiet. You have my word. Just please don’t hurt me or my sister.”

I’m utterly bewildered when Khephren starts to cry.

Sasha moves to his side and wraps his arms around him, petting one of his tentacles as they keep coiling and uncoiling in a manner that reads to me like a sign of distress. My vet instincts kick into high gear and I also want to help him relax, but I force myself to stay where I am.

“It’s okay, Tentacle Boy. Don’t cry,” Sasha soothes.

“But now we’ve s-scared F-Felix. This w-was all our f-fault, not his. W-we abducted him b-because of our own f-foolish mistake,” Khephren chokes out between sobs.

Sasha casts the scariest glare I have ever seen in Najar’s direction, and I shiver. He might be small but I suspect he’s no one to be fucked with.

“I just want us all to be friends,” Khephren murmurs, burying his head in Sasha’s shoulder.

Sasha strokes his back and mouths to Najar, “Fix this or I’ll fix you!”

I swear, his eyes look ready to fire laser beams at Najar’s balls.

Luna snickers. “Naj done fucked up now.”

Rambo beeps. “Keep firing, assholes.”

Khephren pulls back and wipes at his eyes. He must be a rather tender-hearted genius. I can see why Sasha protects him like a rabid hellhound.

“We can’t return now, even if we wanted to. Not right away, at least. We’ve been traveling at light speed for some time now and are thousands of light years away. We’ll need to refuel before we can make a return trip,” Khephren explains, biting his lip in obvious worry.

Clearly outnumbered and uncomfortable at the sight of his crying friend, Najar takes a step toward me.

I take a step back.

He frowns.

I cross my arms protectively and back up again.

Maintaining distance is the name of the game, Felix.

“I… apologize for what I said,” he grits out between clenched teeth.

I stiffen and narrow my eyes. “Don’t strain yourself, pal.”

Rambo beeps three times. “Can’t we all just get along?”

Najar closes his eyes, and I get the distinct impression that he’s counting to ten.

Good. Serves him right.

When he opens his eyes, a mesmerizing kaleidoscope of colors, he stares right into mine. “I’m not inclined to… trust those I don’t know well. My objective was not to frighten you but to protect my crew.” He sighs. “But Khephren is right. The fault for the entire situation lies with us, so we must be the ones to yield in this matter. It is too late for us to take you home right away. But we will accept your proposal and trust you and your sister to keep quiet about your time with us.”

I lift my chin. “And how do I know I can trust you?”

He studies me for several long moments before he goes to one knee and clasps a fist over his chest. “I swear on my honor as a Dravethian warrior.”

My heart flutters a little at the sight, but I quell my foolish thoughts. He’s only doing this because his friends guilted him into it.

Kheph gasps, his eyes bright. “Oh, Naj! I knew you had it in you.”

Luna places a gentle hand on my shoulder. “That’s a Dravethian warrior oath, Felix. Naj can’t break it without losing his honor. He’d never do that.”

I can only hope she’s right.

“Good! Everything’s settled.” Khephren takes hold of my hand and pumps it, smiling brightly. “You’re our special guest and new friend. I hope you’ll enjoy this adventure with us.”

“Thank you. Uh… how long will this adventure last?”

He considers this for a moment. “A few weeks. We’ll have you home before the new year on Earth’s calendar.”

My shoulders relax. “Sounds good. I’m excited to travel with you all and see the universe.”

Khephren, who resembles a champagne bottle ready to pop, plants a giddy kiss on Sasha’s lips before hurrying back to his seat. “I’m powering up the view screen and I’ll be placing the call to your sister momentarily. Are you ready, Felix?”

Rambo loops me in a circle, beeping happily. “We have clearance, Clarence.”

I let out a startled laugh.

The last few minutes have been a roller coaster of emotional ups and downs but I’m choosing to believe in my friends—minus Najar—and focus on the positives.

“Thanks, Khephren. This means a lot to me.”

“My pleasure, Felix. Here we go.”

I wait, my heart thumping so loudly I swear I can hear it, until my sister’s beautiful, familiar face pops up on screen.

Strangely, it almost makes me tear up.

Her wild mane of curly auburn hair is in disarray and it looks like we just woke her up. She yawns widely.

God, I love her.

Gemma blinks at me for a moment and then her eyes go huge. “What the fuck is happening right now? Am I still dreaming?”

I give her an awkward little wave. “Hey, Gemsy. So, yeah, some crazy stuff happened last night, and, well… surprise!” I hold out my arms and do the jazz hands things she taught me when she was doing drama club in high school. “I found aliens in the desert.”

Gemma makes a choking noise, and I hurry to continue, aiming to get it all out before she loses her shit. “And they… er… invited me aboard their ship for an intergalactic adventure.”

She goes so pale I can count every freckle on her nose and I’m worried she might pass out.

Khephren waves a few pink tentacles in the air. “Fear not, sister of Felix. Your brother is our guest, and we will take very good care of him.”

“What in the tentacle-porn hell is going on right now?” Gemma demands.

Luna steps forward. Or should I say, she sashays closer, eyeing my sister with obvious interest. “Hi, there, gorgeous. I’m Luna, the ship’s engineer.” She waves a green tentacle. “We are part of the species known as Dravethians, and we possess a few more appendages than you humans. They come in quite handy for all kinds of things.” Luna follows that up with a wink.

To my surprise, my sister’s cheeks turn a surprising shade of pink. “Uh, hi, Luna. I’m Gemma. What kind of trouble did my brother get himself into this time?”

“Don’t worry. Felix is a sweetheart. He did nothing wrong. The fault was entirely ours, you see. He happened to spot us and our ship when we were trying to remain hidden from human eyes. We basically panic-abducted him to try and figure out what to do.”

Gemma glares. “You guys better not be planning to hurt him.”

Kickass little sister to the rescue!

“No way.” Khephren hurries to respond. “We’re just taking him along for the ride while we tour a few planets before heading back to Earth. I promise we’ll keep him safe.”

“You can trust us,” Luna adds.

“I’ve never met an alien before, but I must say you’re quite beautiful.” Gemma’s expression relaxes and she twirls an auburn curl around her index finger. “Green’s actually my favorite color.”

My mouth drops open. “Are you… flirting with one of my abductors?”

“Not abductors. Friends ,” Khephren chides.

Luna licks her lips and stares at my sister. “I’ve always had a thing for redheads. And your curls?” She practically purrs. “They’re divine.”

“What the hell is happening right now?” I ask.

Sasha snickers and rips open a bag of dill pickle potato chips. “Luna’s hitting on your sister. She likes the ladies.” He pops a chip in his mouth and crunches on it. “Fuck yeah, I missed these.”

“Be sure to save a little so the food generator will know how to recreate them,” Khephren tells him while stroking his back with a tentacle.

Sasha licks crumbs from his lips. “Thanks, Tentacle Boy.”

“Gemma,” I say firmly, “you do understand that I’m light-years away from Earth right now and roaming the universe with a bunch of aliens on their ship, right?”

“I’m just getting to know your new friends.” Her brow furrows. “Are you seriously in outer space right now?”

“We’re on our way to Glacius Major,” Najar interjects matter-of-factly.

Rambo beeps several times. “To infinity and beyond!”

I need to regain control of this conversation. “It’s wild and out of this world—pun intended—but I really am.”

Worry flashes in Gemma’s blue eyes as she surveys the crew. “You all aren’t trying to use my brother for some kind of weird medical research or experimentation, are you?”

“No, beautiful,” Luna says with a chuckle. “We don’t even have a scientist or medical officer on the ship. Besides, we’re more interested in human movies than human physiology.” She eyes Gemma with a grin. “Although, I’d like to explore your body if you’re interested.”

“Gah!” I cry. “Will you two stop flirting in front of me? It’s weirding me out.”

Also, it’s seriously unfair that my sister is hitting it off with a tentacled alien when I’ve struck out with Najar.

Gemma perks up, a curious twinkle in her eyes. “You don’t have a medical officer on the ship?”

Uh-oh. I have a bad feeling about this.

“Gemsy,” I warn.

She ignores me. “I just so happen to be an MD.”

Luna’s practically vibrating, and her tentacles start undulating. “You don’t say?”

“Nope. Gemma, you’re staying out of this,” I say, putting my foot down.

My sister keeps her gaze trained on Luna, and I swear she has hearts in her eyes. “I hope I’ll get to thank you in person for taking care of my brother when you bring him back to Earth.”

“Oh, I’ll make sure of it. We’ll give you our desert landing coordinates to come and meet us. After all, he’ll probably need you to pick him up anyway.”

“Perfect!” Gemma says before turning to me with a pout. “I suppose it’s a good thing I’m scheduled to work at the hospital over Christmas, or I’d be spending it all alone.”

My heart twinges at her words. “I’ll miss you, kiddo.”

She crosses her arms over her buxom chest. “You do know I’m an adult now and have been for a long time, right?”

“You’ll always be my kid sister.”

“And you’ll always be my annoying older brother.”

“I’m sorry we have taken your brother away from you during this most wonderful of holiday seasons,” Khephren says. “But we will return him to you safely. Right now, we’re on course to visit several planets to experience their cultures.”

“It’s a shame you weren’t out in the desert with your brother when he discovered us. We could have brought you along as well,” Luna adds.

“Over my dead body,” I growl.

Gemma blushes again. “I’ll just have to look forward to meeting you in a few weeks.”

“It’s a date,” Luna says.

Rambo does a little twirl accompanied by several beeps. “You had me at hello.”

“Aww! Your robot is so cute,” Gemma coos.

Luna beams, pride written all over her face. “He’s my droid. I programmed him myself.”

To my surprise and relief, Najar returns us to the more pressing matter at hand. “If I may interrupt again, Gemma, I’m Najar and in charge of security on the ship. Felix has sworn an oath to keep our existence a secret. He has also promised that you will keep what you have learned to yourself.” His expression goes steely. “Failure to stay quiet will result in having your memories wiped.”

Luna promptly smacks him upside the head with a tentacle. “Way to ruin the mood, Naj. Geez. Catch a clue.” She turns back to Gemma with an apologetic smile. “Naj is a bit of a stick-in-the-mud and not the greatest at being diplomatic. But he’s right, this is a serious situation. We do need you and your brother to keep our existence a secret, or it could lead to some undesirable consequences for all of us.”

Gemma nods slowly. “That makes a lot of sense. I’ll do whatever I have to in order to get my brother back safely. You can count on me. In the meantime, I hope that you’ll treat him right. He’s the only family I have left, and vice versa.” Her throat catches on those words.

It hasn’t even been a full day and already, I miss her terribly. Being away from her for several weeks is going to be hard. Usually, we don’t go more than a few days without seeing one another, and we talk at least once a day.

Gemma sniffles, fighting back tears. “Will you at least check in with me periodically to let me know you’re okay?”

I direct an inquiring look Khephren’s way.

He taps his chin with the tip of a tentacle, a thoughtful expression on his face. “We may not be able to video conference as frequently as you might like since the distance from some regions will make that difficult, but Felix should be able to relay written messages to you.”

“Text messages, babe,” Sasha corrects around a mouthful of chips.

Gemma sighs with relief. “Okay, that makes me feel a bit better. But this is all a lot to process.”

“I know,” I whisper. “Everything will be all right.”

“It better,” she declares, getting a fierce gleam in her eyes. “Otherwise, I’ll have to hunt down those aliens of yours and kick some serious ass.”

“Your sister is so hot,” Luna whispers to me.

I groan.

“I love you, bro,” Gemma says. “Be safe.”

“Love you too, Gemsy. Talk soon.”

Khephren ends the transmission and I rub at the unexpected ache in my chest. The pink alien takes one look at me and flashes a megawatt smile. “Felix needs a group hug, everyone!”

“Wha—”

Before I can even finish what I’m saying, Luna and Khephren pull me into a tight hug, complete with all their arms and tentacles. It’s surreal but also weirdly comforting.

Khephren pats my head with a tentacle. “We’ll keep you safe, don’t worry.”

Sasha sets aside his nearly empty bag of chips and gives me a thumbs-up. “I’m giving you a hug in spirit. Not much for the real deal, except with Kheph.”

I dart a glance at Najar, who remains conspicuously distant, and heave a mental sigh. I can only hope his attitude will improve and that we can remain cordial during the next few weeks otherwise it’s going to be a long-ass flight…