Page 7 of This Blood that Bonds Us

We were in a lot of trouble. And the MP3 was a bad omen.

I kind of zoned out after that, watching the door and waiting. The feeling was still there in my chest, like I had slammed threeburgers and washed it down with a liter of soda. I expected them to walk through the door like they always did.

The twins were just those guys. They always showed up. Even if they told me they might not make it to a game—I was the best mascot to ever mascot the halls of my high school—my brothers always made it. Christmas, New Years . . .

Suddenly, I was reminded of the Christmas music playing in the store. The hollow feeling grew, and I rubbed my chest. I hated the bells. The nostalgia. The stupid sparkly Santa decorations mocking me with their smiles.

“I’m going to check on Aaron, okay?”

She narrowed her eyes. “Will you be good?”

Luke’s words danced in the foothills of my mind.

“Yes, ma’am. I earnestly swear to only piss Aaron off a little bit.”

I bolted for the door, taking extra care to wave at the doorman before darting out into the night. The parking lot was sparse, with larger trucks and four-wheel drive vehicles. A fresh blanket of snow covered everything, and the swift wind swirled around me. With nothing but darkness overhead, I wanted the snow to lift me into the sky so I could dance there and escape for a minute.

Aaron found me. He had a wool sweater on and a huge jacket that made him look ridiculous, and I had to fight the urge to make fun of him for it. Aaron and I were really bad fugitives. This whole ordeal was making me realize we were bad at literally everything.

“What are you doing out here?” Aaron asked.

“Do you care?”

“Of course I care.”

“Coulda fooled me.”

“Well, you could have fooled me too. You’re being difficult.”

“Well, maybe if you’d stop trying to be Luke. We could just continue like we always did before.”

“I’m not trying to be Luke. I’m trying to make sure we get where we’re going in one piece.”

“We’d probably be there by now if we didn’t have to stop every other day for you to feed and almost kill everyone who looks at Kimberly the wrong way.”

Aaron opened his mouth to speak, then buried his face in his hands and groaned. “I hate this . . .”

“Shit. Sorry. I didn’t mean that.”

“It’s okay.”

“No, I was being a dick. You can’t help it.”

As much as he was annoying, he was trying. We never had that dynamic before. Maybe a little once Zach and Luke graduated and it was just us and Mom most nights, but we didn’t have to depend on each other. We’d always had someone to tell us what the hell we were supposed to do.

Aaron nodded and patted me on the back. “I’m trying. I just don’t . . . feel like myself right now.”

I hadn’t given Her much thought before we left Blackheart. For one, why doesn’t Ms. Hell Bitch have a name? Who decided referring to Her as a pronoun was appropriate? It made any conversation about Her extremely confusing. I once asked Kilian Her story, and I couldn’t get past the first two minutes before deciding not to care. He talked too slow, and it all got jumbled up. I wasn’t interested in Hell Bitch’s story anyway. She hurt my brothers. Which meant She was dead to me.

Also, why is She a “queen?” What exactly does She rule over? A bunch of mind-numbed zombies? I guess my brothers fell into that category, but in my mind, they didn’t count.

This whole treating Her as something otherworldly was so weird. I stopped asking Luke about Her. Aside from his pulse shooting through the roof, he’d get this strange look in his eyethat made me sick to my stomach. When his eyes glazed over like that, he didn’t look like my brother. He didn’t sound like him either. His voice would change and get all serious. Luke wasn’t like that. All mysterious and broody. He was fun and loud.

Her blood changed everything, and now it was swimming in my veins too. I still didn’t get the hype.

“What does it feel like for you?” he asked.

“Like I have the worst heartburn ever. Kinda hollow deep in my chest like I’m a chocolate bunny.”