Page 4 of This Blood that Bonds Us

Snow flurries littered the windshield as we drove through frosted trees. Everything was white. Soft blankets of snow surrounded us. During the day, it was blinding, and at night, it was isolating. I preferred Blackheart. I had preferred a lot of things. The most glaring thing was not feeling like I would lose myself to the monster in my head. At first, I thought it was my grief, but as time went on, nothing about it was normal.

Akira’s blood caused a chain reaction of energy and restlessness in my body. The longing ache in my chest never went away and sometimes turned into a deep sadness that made me feel like my lungs would cave in. That wasn’t the worst part.

“I’ll need to hunt again soon.” I sighed, and her hand tightened on my leg.

She nodded. Her best effort at bringing me any sense of comfort, but I knew it scared her, because it scared me.

The hunger had gotten worse. I’d thought it was well on its way to getting better after hunting with The Legion. Until Akira. The unquenchable gnawing in my chest that longed for more blood was constant. No amount of hunting helped, and it was driving me a little insane. The queen’s blood in my veins had awoken the beast I’d tried so hard to tame. I hadn’t even noticed it until it grew closer to the two-week mark. Then I realized something was very wrong.

I’d wanted more blood even though I’d just fed. I craved the feeling of it. The warmth of blood in my mouth and the rush of euphoria it gave me. Only, the satiation didn’t last more than a couple hours.

I didn’t know what to do or why I was the only one between my brother and me who seemed to have that problem. I thought of Luke and shuddered. How he’d drank so much of Her blood and maintained his sanity, I’d never know. It all made sense now, thefidgeting and the pacing. He made it all look easy. It had been only two weeks, and I was already drowning.

I looked in the rearview mirror at Presley. His gaze was set on the snow, but his thoughts were anyone’s guess. I wanted to ask him if he was feeling okay, but even if it were possible to waterboard him, I couldn’t get it out of him. He stopped talking. Fully stopped. And of everything happening to me, that was the most worrisome. He was mad at me because I wouldn’t let him drive, but I had to drive. There was no way I could sit in the car with my thoughts and not think about blood. At least driving kept me occupied.

I failed him before I even started, but I was the one with the map. Luke’s message of a sequence of letters and numbers were coordinates. Even in his absence, he led us.

My chest was hollow, so I cleared away my thoughts of them like the wipers on the windshield pushing snow. I couldn’t let the grief in. Not until we were safe.

Three

Presley

Aaron was a bad driver, and there was no one to tell him except me. Kim’s sweet tendencies meant Aaron’s annoying behavior—probably mine too—would go unchecked becauseLuke and Zach were . . . on vacation somewhere else. Probably doing great and not sad at all.

Aaron liked to do this thing where instead of easing off the gas into a stop, he’d slam on the brakes. It was like I was on an amusement park ride, and not the fun kind. It would have made me want to barf if I still could.

Kimberly took the change like a champ. I’d decided to be helpful by not yelling at Aaron for his poor driving skills, because it was a little too much on her senses at the moment. She couldn’t even handle the radio for very long.

I’d decided to be a good boy for her, but the torture of sitting in the car for hours in silence had me drawing a frowny face into foggy windows of the car.

I could have told Aaron all of that. Not like we were playing the quiet game or anything, but for the first time in my life, I didn’t feel like talking. No, that was sort of a lie.

I fiddled with the peeling lettering on my pullover. Kimberly thought of everything. She’d made us stop at a thrift store and bought us all new clothes with the money we’d saved from the car wash. I was being forced into blah-gray clothes, but I got the meaning behind it. We needed to not look like ourselves. But clothing was personal and fun, and I looked forward to choosing every day. This had been chosen for me. Though it was probably for the best, I didn’t want to make mundane decisions.

“Are we there yet?”

Aaron glared at me through the rearview mirror. I was on my third warning, but Aaron wouldn’t do anything. Unlike Zach . . .

I sighed. “I want to stop and get an MP3 or something. I’m tired of sitting in the silence.”

I didn’t even know if they made such an ancient device anymore.

“We’re not spending money on that,” Aaron said.

“Oh, so you’re the finance man too, huh? You believe that, Kim? He’s such a dictator.”

She rubbed her forehead. “We need to stop soon anyway. We can check by the hotel.”

We’d been driving for miles on a singular road in Alaska. It wasn’t exactly high on my list of places I’d wanted to visit. I don’t think Alaska was happy to see us. It hadn’t stopped snowing since we’d arrived.

The whole car jolted as we ran over something. A puppy—maybe a child.

“Smooth driving there, Tex.”

“I’m trying. It’s the blizzard. There’s debris all over the road.” Aaron sighed.

Kimberly rubbed his shoulder—she coddled him too much. “It’s okay. Five more minutes.”